London’s Telegraph reports that America’s professional Santas have been plunged into civil war amid accusations of profiteering, unethical behavior and even Claus-on-Claus violence.
It turns out that the Telegraph got wind of this via the Wall Street Journal:
The Amalgamated Santas, one of the nation’s largest Santa groups, are dealing with a schism in their ranks. The rift has left burly bearded men accusing one another of bylaw violations, profiteering and behaving in un-Santa-like ways. Some Santas have filed complaints of wrongdoing against others in Kentucky and Pennsylvania.
The once-fraternal Santa impersonators began to split last year when a power struggle unseated their top Santa and most of his board of directors. Further polarizing the Santa world, new splinter groups have formed to woo disaffected Clauses and their allies. The new Fraternal Order of Real-Bearded Santas, for example, also welcomes “affiliates of Mrs. Clauses, Designer Beard Santas and Elves.”
Things have gotten very ugly on ElfNet. We can only hope it does not become self-aware of who is naughty and nice.
Plus, you just know that Heatmiser and Coldmiser are laughing their asses off.
True. But under Obama, they’ll all be “volunteers.”
I certainly hope that the threats of violence don’t become reality.
It’d be traumatizing for a kid to witness a “real-beard” goon squad beating the crap out of a “fake-beard” scab with baseball bats, or for a “real-beard” to wake up with a reindeer head in his bead.
O! dressed as a muslim santa link
The Lord elfs those who elf themselves.
I don’t read those self-elf books.
Come in Comments…. testes, testes…. 1. 2. 3?
Hm… Ate my other comments….
I was pointing out, with a link, that “Christmas in July”, in modern parlance, refers to the looting during the 1977 Blackout in NY.
I was pointing out, with a link, that “Christmas in Julyâ€Â, in modern parlance, refers to the looting during the 1977
BlackLightout in NYRacist!
Hmmmm.
‘Cause Santa Claus is coming to toooooowwwwwnnnnnn!
To open a major can of whup-ass on you!
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