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Get Back, Honky Cat [Dan Collins]

An insightful article about homosexuality in animal ‘societies’, via Hot Air Headlines:

What is more, homosexuality among some species, including penguins, appears to be far more common in captivity than in the wild. Captivity, scientists say, may bring out gay behaviors in part because of a scarcity of opposite-sex mates. In addition, an enclosed environment boosts an animal’s stress levels, leading to a greater urge to relieve the stress. Some of the same influences may encourage what some researchers call “situational homosexuality” in humans in same-sex settings such as prisons or sports teams.

*******

Such behavior seems to ease social tensions. In Bonobo: The Forgotten Ape (University of California Press, 1997), Emory University primatologist Frans B. M. de Waal and his co-author photographer Frans Lanting wrote that “when one female has hit a juvenile and the juvenile’s mother has come to its defense, the problem may be resolved by intense GG-rubbing between the two adults.” De Waal has observed hundreds of such incidents, suggesting that these homosexual acts may be a general peacekeeping strategy. “The more homosexuality, the more peaceful the species,” asserts Petter Böckman, an academic adviser at the University of Oslo’s Museum of Natural History in Norway. “Bonobos are peaceful.”

This certainly goes a long way towards explaining the lack of violent confrontation on HGTV and metrosexuality, and suggests that perhaps UN peacekeepers have been going about their business the wrong way.

UPDATE:

In some less social species, homosexual behavior is almost unheard of in wild animals but may surface in captivity. Wild koalas, which are mostly solitary, seem to be strictly heterosexual. But in a 2007 study veterinary scientist Clive J. C. Phillips of the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia, and his colleagues observed 43 instances of homosexual activity among female koalas living in a same-sex enclosure at the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. The captive females shrieked male mating calls and mated with one another, sometimes participating in multiple encounters of up to five koalas. “The behavior in captivity was certainly enhanced in terms of homosexual activity,” Phillips says.

God, that is so hot.

18 Replies to “Get Back, Honky Cat [Dan Collins]”

  1. cjd says:

    “The more homosexuality, the more peaceful the species…Bonobos are peaceful.”

    Ernst Rohm and Alexander the Great could not be reached for comment.

  2. Bender Bending Rodriguez says:

    The more homosexuality, the more peaceful the species…

    I believe this theory was debunked by Season 2 of Project Runway. Turns out they are just too fierce to be peaceful.

  3. chad says:

    “Some of the same influences may encourage what some researchers call “situational homosexuality” in humans in same-sex settings such as prisons or sports teams.”

    are sports teams hot beds of homo behavior? sure never heard that one before!

  4. SarahW says:

    Lesbians can be mean beans. Just saying. They will cut you.

  5. syn says:

    “The more homosexuality, the more peaceful the species”

    Hmmm…interesting…so how come I as a formed fag hag was always having to mediate some form of peaceful existence between the many lover’s spats; not for nothing but there’s a whole lot of beating up on one another in Teh Happy Club.

  6. jon says:

    The problem with the conclusion is that it ignores the obvious problem with the situation: animals (and people) will get their sexual needs met in whatever way is available to them rather than wait around for something that may or may not ever show up. Is this so shocking?

    Gay, straight, bi, whatever: almost everyone wants a warm hole to do something with. We’ll take the best of the choices we allow ourselves, and try from there. Taking that simple fact and putting labels on species is quite a leap, but that’s why we have social scientists and their extrapolations.

    I’d say any study of animals in zoos is unlikely to mean much about human society in general, but with a research grant of a few tens of thousands of dollars I could say it better.

  7. ccoffer says:

    Being “captives” of extreme rural farm culture, the adolescent males of my species were reputed to bore penis sized holes in watermelons during the summer mating season. Perhaps a study should be done.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    It’s a kind of natural Viagra. Saw it at Insty’s.

  9. Seixon says:

    This begs the question, are you gay before you hide in the closet, or does hiding in the closet make you gay? Trapped in the Closet gives whole new meaning with this research…?

  10. not Larry Johnson says:

    Duly noted, seixon. ;-)

  11. Ouroboros says:

    “…“ homosexuality in humans in same-sex settings such as prisons or sports teams.”

    Ok.. I can accept that all thos Sportos that played Football and Baseball and Basketball in highschool were actually homos swappin spit and giving each other reach-arounds in the showers after the game.. I always suspected it anyway.. but I can never forgive all those nancy-boy bastards for hogging up all the hot cheerleaders to act as their beards…

    We real men in the Marching Band, Chess Club and Debate Team would have made better use of them.

  12. Ouroboros says:

    “..animals (and people) will get their sexual needs met in whatever way is available to them.”

    Yeah..Has anyone considered that maybe these animals only engaged in homosexual sex because they haven’t got opposing thumbs..? I mean, jerking off with a hoof or a claw would be a total bitch..

    Then again, a prehensile tail would seem to open up a few new possibilities…

  13. Jeffersonian says:

    The punch line here? Bonobos are almost extinct.

  14. ThomasD says:

    So, if the Lifetime channel spent more time on hot girl-girl action they’d be less inclined to go all hatin’ on men.

    Now that’s change I can believe in.

  15. jon says:

    “a prehensile tail would seem to open up a few new possibilities…”

    Sometimes a cigar is a prehensile tail.

  16. Sticky B says:

    Captivity, scientists say, may bring out gay behaviors

    Just how crowded is San Francisco? I’ve never been there.

  17. Greg says:

    Somebody jerks off with a cigar? Now that’s unnatural.

  18. Mark says:

    Funny how humans are different from animals huh? Like having a spoken language, walking upright, having buttsex.

Comments are closed.