The indispensible WikiHow dishes the detes:
It can be difficult to strike a good balance when dating. How do you appear interested without coming off as desperate or needy? How do you get to know someone without being nosy or rude? And how do you figure out how a person feels about you–or tell them how you feel about them–without either of you feeling uncomfortable? Dating is a tricky business, but here are some guidelines that’ll keep you in the mix.
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Sex is about more than psychology and rules and mission plans, of course. And when you get down to it, the key to successful sex in space is about managing a microgravity environment.
Emphasis mine (because I think I’m funny). I look at this as an opportunity to rewrite some scenes from Ender’s Game.
Never ask if she has a hot younger sister.
Or at least if you do, remember to duck.
There I was.. There I was… There I was… In the Congo.
Nothing says “commitment” like a restraining order!
If she’s older than 30 and has a college degree, ask her how much money she makes.
On the first date, don’t tell her about the threesome you had with your last girlfriend and her mom. Save the story for later after you get to know each other and after you figure out if she’s got a hot mom.
#7.) “Be Honest.”
Well, I’m out.
I clicked to the WikiHow Main Page and for a second I thought the first two featured articles were one:
Maintain a Tractor
Date
I’m glad I’m married and have my tractor date days behind me.
Bring puppets to dinner (not the Gleens). Place them on the table in various sexual positions and then ask her to tell you which ones make her “uncomfortable.”
I once got a girl to do wheel-barrel that way, but I pulled a muscle and dropped her.
She didn’t call.
“I’m glad I’m married and have my tractor date days behind me.”
Hey, John Deere gets ’em wet.
It’s true. It was in “Footloose.”
All that comes to mind is this bit of Aussie dating etiquette from my youth.
“Hey Sheila, fancy a shag?”
“Not right now Bruce”
…
“Hey, d’ya mind lying still while I have one?”
Coitus interruptus – “I don’t even know you, JD”.
JD – What better way to get to know me than to give me a BJ”.
Unwise.
JD, you were just looking for a little personal growth, right?
Define your expectations.
I mainly just want to get me some.
Put yourself out there.
I WANT TO GET ME SOME, Y’ALL!
Be selective.
I only want chicks who put out.
Make a good first impression.
I will buy the drinks, dinner and a movie if you are a looker.
Be interested and interesting.
I will go down on you.
Avoid being smothering or obsessive.
You can be on top, one night stands are perfect.
Be honest.
I just want to get laid, you dig?
711ty – Yeah. Did not work out so well. I followed with “you are laying on the 16th green butt-nekkid with me, how much better do you need to know me.” I was ducking flying irons for over 100 yards. She had an arm when she was pissed.
JD, maybe the you should have waited until you made it to the ball washer on the seventeenth!
JD, maybe the you should have waited until you made it to the ball washer on the seventeenth!
Scratch that, you already had the putter out.
Hmmm. Desperate and needy usually worked pretty well for me..
Thank God I never meet the women who are as hyper aware of current trends as the authors of this article seem to reference. I’ve been dating rather recently, and it all comes down to old fashioned going with the flow, if you get along you do and if you don’t you don’t. You just pick up vibes if its working and if its not you probably never got accepted for the date to begin with.
“Whoever lusted, that lusted not at first sight?”
My wife told me she doesn’t feel the same emotional response that we had when we were dating. So I told her to do what I did, take up golf. I shell out some money, we spend sme time together and run the gamut of emotions…mild irritation, doubt, frustration, blinding rage and some lingering physical pain… sometimes we even get a parking ticket. It’s just like when we were dating only we don’t start drinking until it’s over. Really worked out well.
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