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Simply the Best! [Dan Collins]

Jonah Goldberg has up an homage to a lefty writer of gobsmiting talent. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that he’s to political writing what William Shatner is to the Shakespearean stage.


Mark Morford is a columnist for sfgate.com and the San Francisco Chronicle. He also teaches yoga, subscribes to magazines, admires trees, detests shrill alarmism (including his own), sleeps naked. He has not seen your blog, but is sure it’s amazing. He never wears sneakers. He writes about politics, pop culture, sex, music, design, a wry and punch-drunk universe, vibrators, scotch, media, spirituality and small European cars. And sometimes, genital grooming. Email him here. Subscribe to his Notes & Errata column here. Or dig into the RSS feed

49 Replies to “Simply the Best! [Dan Collins]”

  1. CArin -BONC says:

    I fear BDS is a chronic condition. The end of this presidency is no cure.

    Snippets from the article:

    …more paranoid NASCAR dads stocking Glocks in the rec room …. six straight years of increased poverty, untold numbers of homophobic, misogynistic judicial appointees, devastating environmental policies …. I firmly believe the record will reveal that no president in modern history has done more to unravel the American identity, to dumb down the populace and cater to the basest instincts of man …

    Ironically, this is why many in the GOP are chuckling in secret, rubbing their hands together, plotting their revenge. They know the colossal pile of issues and problems Barack Obama will inherit is so overwhelming, so unsolvable, it doesn’t matter how smart and aggressive he might be. It doesn’t matter that he’ll have a Democratic Congress. He’s just plain doomed.

    I like that last bit. They’re already setting up the stage for if/when O!™ isn’t the BESTEST president ever, they’ll still blame Bush for the next 4-8 years.

    BDS is never going away. Chronic. To bad it’s not terminal.

  2. Semanticleo says:

    Morford is muted in his metaphor.

    Herpes is just inconvenient, irritating.

    I would say Bush has fucked us in the ass, individually and collectively leaving us with a case of full-blown AIDS. Our survival
    (forget properity)will be through macro-costly cocktails of economic
    and social band-aids of short-sells and fantasy TV to escape our malaise.

    As with all bad news there is one bright, shining facade to all the coming mayhem of food riots and roving bands of funhogs seeking to cheer us up; The end of the Republican Party.

  3. BJTex says:

    I think that the author should be saying that Bush is more Like Parkison’s, really. If it were, you know, contagious and had an obsessive need to kill brown people and made you moronic and a godbotherer.

    You just wait, Obama’s going to have that hand tremor by the third year of his term and will be calling the speaker “Nancy Cataloni.”

    BOOOOOOSH!

  4. BJTex says:

    It’s sad, really, that there are no balloons or sparklies in ‘cleo’s world. I’m filled with sorrow.

  5. CArin -BONC says:

    So, when Obama’s socialism and high taxes fail … it will all be Bush’s fault.

  6. Education Guy says:

    Has anything ever been the fault of the left? No, as per Goldberg, when something goes wrong with a progressive policy it is the fault of the United States, whereas something going wrong with conservative policy is laid squarely at the feet of conservatives.

  7. SevenEleventy says:

    I hear Rev. Jeremiah Wirght has some inspirational DVDs that he sells, leo! Rev. Wright even addresses tha AIDS issue!

  8. CArin -BONC says:

    would say Bush has fucked us in the ass, individually and collectively leaving us with a case of full-blown AIDS

    I think I’m gonna have to denounce Cleo for his overtly homophobic comment. For shame!

  9. Education Guy says:

    I think I’m gonna have to denounce Cleo for his overtly homophobic comment. For shame!

    I would bet cleo subscribes to the theory that homosexual sex is no more risky to HIV contraction than heterosexual. Because public health policy should avoid giving offense.

  10. alppuccino says:

    From leo’s comment, it looks like BDS is finally waning.

  11. Semanticleo says:

    The cross-chatter, when the subject is BDS, is revealing.

    Lately, I don’t hear much defense of our beloved Prez’.

    ‘Whistling through the graveyard’.

  12. CArin -BONC says:

    Cleo, because the subject is idiotic. Defending Bush is secondary to making fun of you.

  13. CArin -BONC says:

    And, we’ve had 7 years to learn that no matter what we say it just doesn’t fucking matter.

  14. Semanticleo says:

    “Defending Bush is secondary to making fun of you.”

    That’s why I’m here. You folks need the diversion. The reality of
    his failed Presidency is too much for anyone to bear.

    My cup of compassion runneth over.

  15. Education Guy says:

    What’s revealing is that cleo is an obvious bigot who can’t wait to see Obama cut the funding for treating AIDS in Africa. Why do you hate dying Africans cleo?

  16. happyfeet says:

    Bush had a super presidency really. This Mark person already said it’s the good old days already compared to Baracky’s. President Bush. Remember that name.

  17. CArin -BONC says:

    I was just thinking, Cleo, that you exist solely for my entertainment. I can be egocentric like that.

  18. alppuccino says:

    Lately, I don’t hear much defense of our beloved Prez’.

    Why would the greatest president in modern history need defending. That would be like a presidential candidate giving a speech on how patriotic he his because he feels like he needs to.

  19. Education Guy says:

    The reality of his failed Presidency is too much for anyone to bear.

    And by failed presidency you mean was elected twice and got pretty much every last thing he wanted out of both friendly and unfriendly congresses. May all our failures be as successful.

    You are surely in need of psychiatric help for your delusions cleo.

  20. Semanticleo says:

    ” got pretty much every last thing he wanted”

    And you got………?

  21. ProggHero says:

    Well running against bush is doing pretty well for Obama so far why not try it again in 4 years? Hell I would. People will still hate him then.

  22. Education Guy says:

    And you got………?

    To watch you equivocate on how Saddam wasn’t all that bad. Good job buddy.

  23. SevenEleventy says:

    Well running against bush is doing pretty well for Obama so far why not try it again in 4 years? Hell I would. People will still hate him then.

    Bush isn’t running for president, ever again! Read your own bumpersticker. Doesn’t it have the last day of his presidency?

  24. Sdferr says:

    There is that hate thing again, ProggH. Once more, would you want to try to delve into the meaning of hate? Figure out what it is and what it may be good for or not good for?

  25. Rob Crawford says:

    Semencleo, would you please join sashal and Go The Fuck Away?

    Seriously, I don’t want to hear your peculiar brand of insanity anymore. You stopped having a point years ago, and have been reduced to spewing shit.

  26. CArin -BONC says:

    Well running against bush is doing pretty well for Obama so far why not try it again in 4 years? Hell I would. People will still hate him then.

    That doesn’t exactly reflect well upon the “reality-based community.”

  27. SevenEleventy says:

    PH isn’t reality-based!

  28. ProggHero says:

    True Carin but it is a fact. I doubt anyone can remember a speech, debate, or townhall where Obama did not mention “the failed policies of the bush administration”. I think everytime he mentions bush the donations just pour in.

  29. CArin -BONC says:

    . They are (inadvertently, of course) doing nothing less than informing armies of young, sexually confused man-beasts that the general trimming of body hair — including, as Gary repeatedly states, the c–, balls and ass — isn’t just for transvestites and gay porn stars and metrosexual writers anymore. In other words, caring about this sort of thing doesn’t make you gay, or stupid, or emasculated. It actually makes you sort of hot.

    Did you read that men? Trimming your crotch hair, according to Mark, makes you teh hawt.

  30. CArin -BONC says:

    Well, I never imagined Obama supporters were sophisticated, so I can see how that would have that affect.

  31. mcgruder says:

    bush has done just an awful job, to be sure, but semanticleo and Proggie don’t realize that their very existence digs the grave of the left.

    Bush sucked and the US voter knows it, but the Left sucks worse and the US voter will do anything to keep you away from the levers of power.

    It must make you absolutely insane to realize that even when you guys have a point, your beliefs and hopes are alternately mocked and relegated to the fringe.

  32. Dan Collins says:

    During football season, I shave a big Packers “G” there.

  33. SevenEleventy says:

    Progressives have no balls, so it must be easier for them to coiff.

  34. ProggHero says:

    Wow. Hey Carin check out the comment left at 7/2/2008 12:13:49 AM .

  35. ushie says:

    O, Semanticleo, how you have suffered these past 8 years! A regular Tom Joad, staggering around in the Dust Bowl of Americana, begging us to PAY ATTENTION to your Cassandraish mewings! Ah, but you’ll have your revenge under President O! when, even though he’s God upon Earth, we’ll all be starving and disease-ridden husks, all of us, everyone, including you! And only Project Runway to lend some much-needed cheer.

  36. ProggHero says:

    That comment on the SFGate site for the link is comedy gold.

  37. CArin -BONC says:

    What, this stupid chicken -hawk comment?

    Holy crap, the wingers are out in droves tonight. I’m so glad the Chronicle provides a voice for Mark Morford. He’s the greatest! All of you wingers who are on here complaining, why don’t you sign up to go to Iraq so you can support even more the (failing) cause you believe in? Oh, that’s right, you just like to play armchair John Wayne tough-guy let’s-kill-the-libs-because-my-country-right-or-wrong-even-though-that-position-proves-I’m-a-fearful-weak-dumba**-chickens**t. Yes?

    You didn’t write that did you? If so, I’m embarrassed for you.

  38. ProggHero says:

    Well you forgot to mention the guys icon as an upside down and backwards American flag. I am just saying the entirety of it is comedic.

  39. Cowboy says:

    caring about this sort of thing doesn’t make you gay, or stupid, or emasculated.

    No, but I would say that any one of those qualities–or more likely, all of them–is a precondition for grooming your naughty parts.

  40. CArin -BONC says:

    Why am I suspicious that Proggy’s trying to send me a coded message of some sort?

  41. Silver Whistle says:

    Watch it, Carin – he was hitting on nishi earlier.

  42. CArin -BONC says:

    I missed that. But, I’m thinking that was just an attempt to build-up his persona. One day I’ll get an email from JD or Jeff or Maybee (still mia on that front) admitting it’s them

    I SWEARS I’ll keep the secret.

  43. Merovign says:

    I just suddenly had a hopeful thought, though. It seems that BDS affects higher fuctions of the brain in a way that is, appropriately, progressive.

    Which means that in about another seven years, the left won’t be able to tie their own shoes or type – which will be, frankly, a relief.

    Though it may be a hard seven years.

  44. It begins says:

    […] SF Chronicle writer Mark Morford sets up Obama to be a failiure because it’ll be (wait for it) Bush’s […]

  45. Big Dan says:

    I prefer a layered cut, for that carefree ready-for-action look.

  46. Dan Collins says:

    What about a little Macassar, for that JBF look?

  47. Mikey NTH says:

    A failed presidency has crippled Al Qaeda, has persuaded India to move closer to the US, has seen pro-American leaders move into Europe’s governments, has seen the FARC crippled, has removed the Taliban from Afghanistan’s government, has left Saddam Hussein pushing daisies.

    I wonder what success would look like?

  48. Mikey NTH says:

    I think everytime he mentions bush the donations just pour in.

    Things are so bad they can afford to donate to a political campaign and not spend it on fruit? My hat is off to that level of sacrifice.

  49. Lisa says:

    Jonah has a new crush. That is so sweet!

Comments are closed.