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Happy F*cking Birthday, America! [Dan Collins]

Courtesy of AP:

Happy birthday, America? This year, we’re not so sure.

The nation’s psyche is battered and bruised, the sense of pessimism palpable. Young or old, Republican or Democrat, economically stable or struggling, Americans are questioning where they are and where they are going. And they wonder who or what might ride to their rescue.*

These are more than mere gripes, but rather an expression of fears—concerns reflected not only in the many recent polls that show consumer confidence plummeting, personal happiness waning and more folks worrying that the country is headed in the wrong direction, but also in conversations happening all across the land.

“There are so many things you have to do to survive now,” says Larue Lawson of Forest Park, Ill. “It used to be just clothes on your back, food on the table and a roof over your head. Now, it’s everything.

“I wish it was just simpler.”

Geez, who invited that guy? (Honestly, though, he’s a newspaper writer, so I understand the bitterness).

*Gosh, who could it be?

Doug Ross has related thoughts.

33 Replies to “Happy F*cking Birthday, America! [Dan Collins]”

  1. Challeron says:

    “Now, it’s everything.”

    Yeah, God knows, that cable bill won’t pay itself….

  2. Darleen says:

    Careful, Dan, AP will be billing you for the excerpt in 5..4..3..

  3. Techie says:

    Crap, that DSL bill won’t pay itself either.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Oh, they can make me cease, Darleen, but they’ll never make me desist.

  5. dorkafork says:

    “Nation celebrates birthday, women, minorities hardest hit.”

  6. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Larue Lawson of Forest Park, Ill.

    Hmmm… one wonders why things are so bad in the very HOME STATE of the Messiah?

  7. happyfeet says:

    No worries. Nothing a healthy dose of socialism won’t fix.

  8. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Yes, nowadays you have to buy arugula. Have you seen the price of that stuff lately?

    Also, waffles have gone through the roof.

  9. Ernie G says:

    The money quote is in the middle of the piece:

    Says Arizona retiree Dian Kinsman: “You have no faith in anybody at the top. I don’t trust anybody, and I’m really disgusted about it.”

    Stoking the furor is that Americans seem to feel helpless. After all, how can the average Joe or Jane control the price of gas or end the war?

    Who is standing in the wings selling trust, hope, and change? Who will end the war? Who will bring down the price of oil by the sheer force of his will and maybe a little body English? They don’t come out and say it, but we can guess who they mean.

  10. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – In this season of discontent the griefers must all be suffering from 24/7 woodies.

    – Of course when he who shall not be named comes back from his Iraq trip and declares the surge has actually been microscopically successful the entire nutroot nation will simultaneously implode and spontaneously combust.

  11. Dan Collins says:

    That can’t be good for the environment. I mean, in the short run.

  12. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    Its all right. They’ll all load up on carbon credits and then dump 50 million tons of bong pollutants and exploding heads into the atmosphere over San Francisco.

  13. cjd says:

    “You have no faith in anybody at the top.”

    Who says I ever have?

    “I don’t trust anybody, and I’m really disgusted about it.”

    Neither do I. I’m okay with that.

    Good God, get a grip. This country’s been through a lot worse for Chrissakes. It may not be pleasant, and it may actually get worse, but if we got through two world wars, a Depression, Dust Bowl, and the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston divorce we can get through this crap.

    Oh, and get off my damn lawn.

  14. Sean M. says:

    If anybody cares, my take on it is over here.

  15. Patrick Carroll says:

    I’m on track to make more money this year than ever before in my life.

    Best make with the offshore accounts, and the Belgian passports, I guess

  16. I’m on track to make more money this year than ever before in my life.

    so you got yours and screw everybody else!

    (just doing some preemptive trolling here.)

  17. Sean M. says:

    I’m on track to make more money this year than ever before in my life.

    Can we redistribute Patrick’s wealth ill-gotten gains?

    Yes We Can!

  18. Merovign says:

    Nation takes a day off to celebrate birthday, have barbecues, blow shit up – whiners hardest hit.

  19. The Lost Dog says:

    Well, it finally happened!

    It’s way early in the morning here (EDT), and I have finally puked at the image and words of Barracky on Fox. And then I puked at McDoofus’s answer!

    Am I nuts, or is this place beginning to feel like Germany, circa the mid-thirties?

  20. The Lost Dog says:

    Oh, and BTW.

    AP has had me puking for years now…

  21. The Lost Dog says:

    “Comment by Sean M. on 7/6 @ 12:27 am #

    If anybody cares, my take on it is over here.”

    Yeah. The strawberries are fucking killing me!

  22. irongrampa says:

    You realize it’s nice to let the kids vent while the adults go about the business of administering the country, dontcha?

  23. SevenEleventy says:

    Stay-at-home-mom Heather Hammack grapples with tough decisions daily about how to spend her family’s dwindling income in the face of rising food costs. One day, she priced strawberries at $1.75. The next day, they were $2.28.

    So the sale on strawberries ended the previous day. Mystery solved! I see that the $4/gallon gas didn’t prevent her from going to the store two consecutive days in a row. Michelle Obama needs to get in touch with this woman, because…wait for it…she can find fresh fruit for her children.

  24. Radish says:

    …and your kids aren’t going to die if you feed them frozen strawberries. Also, this woman may not know this, but strawberries grow on plants, either in the ground or in containers. Maybe next spring, instead of the grocery store on consecutive days, one of those days she can drive to a garden store and buy a strawberry plant. They’re perennials–if she’s not totally incompetent, she only has to do it once. And if she can tear the kids away from Nickelodeon for half an hour here and there, they can learn a little about botany and food preparation.

    Nyah, we can’t have that shit going on in middle-class America.

  25. happyfeet says:

    Strawberries go on sale early in the season cause they have a lot of strawberries and they need to clear them. This happens every year. When they say fruit is seasonal they ain’t just blowing smoke. Hang in there, Heather Hammack. You retard. With any luck your children will be more smarter than you. Maybe. What is it with liberals and fruit anyway?

  26. SevenEleventy says:

    Strawberries go on sale early in the season cause they have a lot of strawberries and they need to clear them. This happens every year. When they say fruit is seasonal they ain’t just blowing smoke. Hang in there, Heather Hammack. You retard. With any luck your children will be more smarter than you. Maybe. What is it with liberals and fruit anyway?

    Watermelon, cantaloupe, peaches, nectarines and plums are now on sale! Somebody notify Heather!

  27. Education Guy says:

    The solution to the strawberry catastrophe is more taxes. Yeah, I’m looking at you Patrick!

  28. ushie says:

    OH DEAR GOD THE STRAWBERRIES HAVE GONE UP IN PRICE!!!!!!!

    Actually, I was thinking you can’t get a more custom-made post for Datadave than this. Where the hell is he?

  29. Merovign says:

    Obviously they need to engineer some strawberry plants that produce year-round, for the children.

    And, of course, tax the productive, I mean rich to pay for them.

  30. McGehee says:

    Seems like people are trying to sell Barack Obama as the next FDR, to lead us out of an alleged New Great Depression.

    Forgetting, of course, the long public career FDR had before running for president in 1932 — including having served, for example, as Governor of a marginally important </understatement> state for a number of years.

    A four-year U.S. Senator whose previous experience was as a state legislator and bumbling community organizer? The new FDR?

    The real FDR would be pissed.

  31. banned in colorado says:

    ushie, I am ‘banned’. but busy making a hard earned buck is more like it.

    now, I enjoy some other more thoughtfull blogs of late which are a little more open-minded…(a ‘little’ meaning a ‘lot!’-) but I enjoy the Rush-like humor here.

    now a return to a progressive tax system would be a help. I got nailed for taxes while El Rushmo has been on a spending spree with his acres of mahogany. Such ill considered waste of wealth is exemplary of all that’s wrong with conservatives.

    And then there is the NY Sun, a truly waste of time of a read, mainly due to a certain Republican Hedge Fund man with trillions made off oil futures etc. has his money there.

    Note, that Rush gives NYTimes an exclusive interview, not the NYSun.

  32. JD says:

    Because dataisthepluralofanecdotedave knows better what to do with your money than you do. Just ask him!

  33. Education Guy says:

    But remember, the money that Soros has is just fine. Because he says all the correct progressive things. As N’Obrain constantly reminds us “scratch a leftist…”

Comments are closed.