oatmeal: “I’m generally not one to tell tales out of school, but let’s just say that the little mick prick on the Lucky Charms box is about ‘magical’ as a Raisin Bran fart — and that, were he really all that concerned about kids stealing his wee pastel marshmallow, he wouldn’t keep inviting them inside his tiny condo to takes baths and watch the Cartoon Network in their undies while he ‘tends to me angry shillelagh’…”
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
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“And don’t even get me started about that Mrs. Butterworth who lives 2 shelves down. There’s a reason all the little kids love her! I’m just sayin…”
“Fuck cholesterol! Get the butter and heavy cream!”
Oh. Some days me Lucky Charms is just what has to pass for happiness. Please don’t take that away from me.
Yeah will I just had some left over Chili Cheese Fries straight out of the fridge for breakfast. Your Raisin Bran fart better watch his little bitch ass, is all I am sayin’.
The combination of chili cheese fries and a Raisin Bran fart might not be exactly magical, but I bet it would be colorful … and musical.
“…and I wonder if you even care if your kids are getting too much cereal with their morning breakfast sugar.”
“…and I wonder if you even care if your kids are getting too much cereal with their morning breakfast sugar.â€Â
Are you criticizing my choice of “Frosted Sugar Granules” for my children? Like Michelle O!, I have a hard time finding fresh fruit for my kids.
Fruits is no problems for Obamas. Two adult fruits at the table and a box of Fruit Loops for the chil’ren.
Fruits gives me the winds.
An’ da’ runs.
I wouldn’t take what oatmeal says at face value, is all I’m sayin’. I’d tell you some of the things it says about you behind your back, but I really don’t want to ruin a friendship.
And that Shredded Wheat. Smug, asshole.
Indeed, bergerbilder, those oats have been rolled, man, rolled.
don’t forget grape nuts, the prius of breffus cereals
Bacon, eggs, fried potato, mushrooms, fried tomato and fried bread, (to soak up the bacon fat). And not a perverted cartoon character in sight. That was the breakfast the British Empire was built on.
No wonder our civilization is crumbling to dust.
Not that I’m admitting that my early exposure to Scott’s Porridge Oats, with its picture on the box of a guy in a
skirtkilt tossing his caber, or that strange Mr Kellog with his obsession with crowng cocks had any effect on my development.No, we had full fat milk with our cereals in my day.
“Bacon, eggs, fried potato, mushrooms, fried tomato and fried bread, (to soak up the bacon fat).”
God this sounded good.. but then my gouty big toe had to speak up and threaten to join the conversation.. Guess I’ll stick with the talking oatmeal.
Mrs. Butterworth? She’s a sell-out. GEICO’s got her “interpreting” a customer experience on one of their commercials.
And unprofessional? She totally breaks the fourth wall when the GEICO logo is superimposed over her head. I guess they kept it in as a nod to all her fansâ€â€this woman is one self-absorbed narcissist, kids. We only used her for the novelty angle.
“I hit it[Mrs. Butterworth]”-Kareem O’Wheat
That was the breakfast the British Empire was built on.
The B Moe Empire was built mostly on leftover pizza. Guess that explains it shortcomings.
The B Moe Empire was built mostly on leftover pizza. Guess that explains it shortcomings
Hopefully, you wash it down with a fine malt liquor. It adds to the nutritional value of “the most important meal of the day.”
Snake, gout is traditionally blamed on the vice du jour. I’m sure that if you clean-up your intake of lead, alcohol, protein and fat, the naggers will find another enjoyable habit of yours to blame.
I have gout, but I got permission from my doctor to refer to it as “arthritis”–which technically it is.
“Gout” sounds so sedentary, and all double-chinny.
I could change my diet, but I decided that God made poppies for a reason.
…and anti-inflammatories as well.
Besides, when I was a kid, we ate Quaker Oats with Carnation powdered milk for breakfast almost every morning.
Gruel, really.
The only good thing about Quaker Oats was the round cardboard box it came in.
Jeff, Jeff,
So you’ve run through all your porn and you’re back to making up your own again (sigh). With cereal, no less. Since you don’t need the old stuff any more, you may as well send it to me. Er, in a plain brown wrapper.
T&T
To buy from veterans, right? Right?
I like how Lucky Charms make the box bulgey when they kind of settle. Most cereal doesn’t do that. Also they are tasty.
Now if only my dirty rice could talk..