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Women Bitch About iPhone [Dan Collins]

Apparently, the surface responds to the electric charge on the skin of one’s fingers, and therefore won’t operate from the touch of one’s fingernails. And who requires them to have long nails? Teh Patriarcy, I presume.

I’ve got news for you, ladies. One of the primary functions of the iPhone is to allow people to babble at one another, for hours and hours and hours at a distance. So shut up, please: I’m trying to watch the game.

24 Replies to “Women Bitch About iPhone [Dan Collins]”

  1. There’s an easy fix for that: buy a Nokia instead. Better, cheaper.

  2. happyfeet says:

    NG says that’s stupid and she does the fingernail thing pretty seriously. She says it’s just the life you lead when you have long nails.

  3. CArin -BONC says:

    “NG” happyfeet? I don’t always understand happyspeak.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    New Girl, CArin.

  5. dicentra says:

    Long Nails are the talons of skeezy wimmenz who know how to use them.

    I keep mine shorter than short because my piano teacher made me. Then I realized that there were plenty of other good reasons for clipped nails: no temptation to bite them off, not much dirt under the nails, and no hindrance when typing.

  6. CArin -BONC says:

    Thanks Dan. And “Other Guy”? A roommate?

  7. happyfeet says:

    Oh. Other Guy is the other guy at work. Not my boss.

  8. happyfeet says:

    Very small office.

  9. CArin -BONC says:

    I’m with dicentra.

    Plus, long nails – even medium long – are impossible to deal with when you like to garden and you don’t always have the impulse control to wait until you have your gloves on before you pull a weed.

  10. CArin -BONC says:

    LOL. thanks , HF!

  11. Sdferr says:

    Are long fingernails akin to peacocks-tails? As in fitness handicap? Or are they intended as weapons with which to gouge the eyes of ones rivals? Or something else altogether?

  12. Dan Collins says:

    They’re meant to warn other women and attract thrill-seeking men.

  13. cranky-d says:

    The original meaning of long fingernails was that it showed you didn’t have to do manual labor for a living. In other words, a sign of wealth.

  14. Sdferr says:

    Cranky-d, if an indicator of wealth, is there evidence that the practice started way back when with men rather than women, like with a Pharaoh, say, or his immediate underlings?

  15. Mikey NTH says:

    #14 – I would say that men were still required to work with their hands – such as wield a sword. Especially if you were a noble. Pampered dandies were literary darlings, but were held in contempt by those nobles who took the circumstances of their birth seriously. For that I would note the Iron Duke – the Duke of Wellington – and those who actually made an empire. For all of the gold lace they could still do the dirty work and were contemptuous of those who were merely canvas upon which fashion was painted.

    Sounds a lot like today, eh?

  16. Teacher's Pet says:

    Life’s all about choices, baby.

  17. Darleen says:

    Count me in with Carin and dicentra,

    My nail are clean, sometimes clear-polish, and short. I do way too much gardening, typing and crafting (crocheting and sewing is almost impossible with long nails) to put up with long nails.

    If I want to have some pampering, I’ll go for a pedicure.

  18. Sdferr says:

    But never, Darleen, not even when you were a teen or in your twenties? While long fingernails might be impracticable now, were you gardening at 16? Or was there a time when you tried it on for style? (Or played classical guitar?)

  19. I keep mine shorter than short because my piano teacher made me.

    aaaaw yeah! my piano teacher occasionally would look at my nails and say something like, “oh, you’ve got singer’s nails” so I did, so I did. not now though, too much typing and filing.

  20. Jeff says:

    “buy a Nokia instead. Better, cheaper.”

    HA HA HA HA!! I almost spit out my drink. That was funny.

    I wouldn’t go back to using a Nokia if you paid me to do so. I’ll take the iPhone – the best phone of any type I have ever owned or seen.

  21. Darleen says:

    Sdferr

    I’ve tried acrylics, because my natural nails just don’t grow too long without breaking. The acrylics were nice but I drove the manicurist crazy because I wanted them “sports length”

    and I hated going for fills every two weeks so I only had them a few months

    Sure I was gardening at 16 … parents had me pulling weeds years earlier

    Child labor

  22. Darleen says:

    Oh…I’ll get a regular manicure once in a while, like for a special occasion. But painting my own nails does fine in the meantime.

  23. Roboc says:

    What do you do if you have no hands? Call the ADA!

  24. thor says:

    Women Bitch About iPhone [Dan Collins]

    Fixed it for ya Danny.

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