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Another moment of unabashed pragmatism (travel edition)

Sure, I can spend $5 for that airplane Bloody Mary. Or I can just get viciously stoned in the car before the flight, then tell the TSA rep that I’ve been doing an awful lot of swimming.

And that the Cool Ranch Doritos I’m stuffing in my face are, pace the nattering of the food nannies, suprisingly high in complex carbohydrates.

40 Replies to “Another moment of unabashed pragmatism (travel edition)”

  1. Jeff G. says:

    Off to Chicago for a week. Will check in when I can, and maybe throw up a post now and then, but otherwise, I’ll be learning to break people’s limbs with naught but a sideways glance.

    If you are in Chicago or environs and would like to meet up, email me.

    Have fun, all!

    Oh. And RACISTS!

  2. happyfeet says:

    snack strong, brother

  3. mojo says:

    “throw up” a post?

    “Is that a pun?” he asked suspiciously.

  4. Hoodlumman says:

    With all of Jeff’s travels and his ability to kill someone with his thumb, I think Jeff is actually an air marshal these days.

  5. CArin -BONC says:

    Well, GREAT, Hood. Now you’ve blown his cover.

  6. Pablo says:

    Colorado Rocky Mountain High
    I’ve seen the burning doobies in the sky

  7. wishbone says:

    TSA will only notice if your shoes are untied.

    And on fire.

    Maybe.

  8. Ouroboros says:

    I know he’d be a poorer man if he never burned some sticky Thai..
    Rocky Mountain high

  9. TmjUtah says:

    Gotcha beat.

    I’m flying to the east coast tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow morning I’m going to be anesthetized with an amnesiac for an invasive medical test.

    A Bloody Mary? It is to laugh ~ ha ~.

    Returning to full awareness is going to be pretty interesting. Especially with the… after effects.

  10. nishizonoshinji says:

    wat i relly wanna know, is……did this tool give you any props Jeff?
    you started that discussion.
    he could have chimed in here, but he was likely afraid he’d get an asswhuppin.
    ;)

  11. Education Guy says:

    Except it was his book that started the discussion here.

  12. JD says:

    Edu Guy – Details, details …

  13. B Moe says:

    did this tool give you any props Jeff?
    you started that discussion.

    Jonah is excerpting his own book, nishi, you really think he needs to give Jeff props for that? You really need to drink a Cream Soda and calm down, child. Learn to read for comprehension rather than speed.

  14. JD says:

    Jeff G – Look for Better Half’s parents at O’Hare. They will be the short Asian couple wandering around looking lost.

  15. Jeff G. says:

    It’s a conversation that needs to be had. So I’m glad it’s showing up in a number of places beside simply a book that has been unfairly attacked, more often than not by those who haven’t bothered to read it.

    I’m looking forward to Lisa giving us her take. Once she’s done rereading Portnoy. Sashal is welcome to chime in, too. Provided he reads the thing first.

    None of which is the point of this post. That being, I’m baked and heading up in a big jet plane to go learn to kill.

  16. TmjUtah says:

    Jeff –

    Remember – “Through the target.”

    Have a nice time storming the castle!

  17. Slartibartfast says:

    Learning to kill while baked…that‘s knowledge worth having.

    “throw up” a post?

    Better than throwing up your hands, I’m thinking.

  18. Education Guy says:

    I’d have to go with the Bloody Mary, as the Fed frowns on other-than-alcohol drug use for those involved in forcing the brown other to be good oil donating Christians preparing the kingdom for the coming of the light bringers utopia.

  19. maggie katzen says:

    just remember to save all your receipts for your expense report. please.

  20. mojo says:

    …and get thumbprints from any hobos you happen to kill.

  21. Roboc says:

    Learning to kill while baked…that’s knowledge worth having.

    Buzzkill!

  22. Rob Crawford says:

    “throw up” a post?

    Better than tossing one off.

  23. Education Guy says:

    I would comment on the awesomeness of Cool Ranch Doritos, but I am afraid that “evolving standards of decency” prevent me from doing so.

  24. Aldo says:

    Jeff, you need to start doing the Shaq rap: “Jonah! You couldn’t do it without me!!”

  25. ProggHero says:

    I wonder if that air puffy thing that can detect explosives can detect the presence of THC?

  26. N. O'Brain says:

    nishi, run over to the nearest bookstore or library, ask for a copy of Jonah Goldberg’s “Liberal Fascism”, pick it up and stare at the the cover.

    You are now looking into the Mirror of Erised.

  27. Roboc says:

    “I wonder if that air puffy thing that can detect explosives can detect the presence of THC?”

    Or Cool Ranch Doritos!

  28. The Lost Dog says:

    If I could kill with a sideways glance, there would be about five people left in my town.

  29. TmjUtah says:

    Criminy. Jeff, you packed an orange, right?

  30. The Lost Dog says:

    Tmj,

    Good luck on your trip. Keep us posted.

  31. JHoward says:

    Good opportunity to expose the seamy underbelly of the Obama Chicago politicos while you’re there, Jeff. And Fear Not at All.

    For the Might of the Right be with you, amen.

    I really hope the left links this comment.

    PS: By the way, Jeff, fly to Tampa some time. Really nice airport. I so hate Dulles, and Salt Lake smells funny. Just saying.

  32. JHoward says:

    DIA isn’t bad, although it’s miles from civilization…

  33. Jim in KC says:

    Good grief, the TSA goons are checking the carb content of flyers’ snacks, now? What is that, some sort of Patriot Act thing?

  34. Kirk says:

    Jeff, you’re scarier than John Bolton, all those glances can leave a mark.

  35. happyfeet says:

    These are very good diet sodas especially the root beer and the grapefruit. There’s a pomegranate one too but it’s not on that page and it’s ok but not as good as these ones.

  36. mojo says:

    What were the ones that used to advertise with the dancing, multi-colored chicks? I’d go for those. Because I’m shallow.

  37. happyfeet says:

    Fanta?

  38. mojo says:

    Fanta? I damn near killeda.

    “I can’t believe you fell for that!”
    — Spaceballs

  39. Patrick says:

    I’m just outside Chicago, but I’d be embarrassed groveling and averting my eyes and muttering “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy”. And then you might glance at me, and it’d be all over.

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