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Whoa! No Way!! [Dan Collins]

Obama’s new spot features him speaking — quite respectably — in Spanish to deliver an economic message to Puerto Ricans, and mentioning that he was born on an island too.

Dude, you’re blowing my mind!!!

79 Replies to “Whoa! No Way!! [Dan Collins]”

  1. sashal says:

    reminds me of me and my clients,
    i will find the common something with them for a better connection and eventual deal.
    I am such an ass sometimes, but I am good at what I do.
    Hope Obama wins, my kind of a guy…

  2. JD says:

    I was born on an island. Don’t tell me I do not have ties to the islands. How dare you question my patriotism? My super great uncle thrice removed fought the Japanese at Auschwitz.

  3. Dan Collins says:

    He planted the flag on Mt Suribachi. That’s on an island.

  4. JD says:

    I saw an island once, and read about one in a magazine. See, I have so much in common with the Fijians.

  5. Karl says:

    I too was born on an island — albeit a larger one — in the suburbs of Chicago.

  6. sashal says:

    I never was born on an island, but I know the guy who was-JD.
    Is your human features and character different from the mainland folks , JD?

  7. cranky-d says:

    I was born on a island too. Well, on a landmass that is completely surrounded by water. That’s and island, right?

  8. sashal says:

    no, Dan, seriously?
    what was that- Obamanoid , the distant relative of JD?

  9. Romulus says:

    Oh yeah?!? Well I was born to a virgin raped by Jupiter and after being unsuccessfully drowned by my usurper uncle’s henchmen I, and my brother were suckled by a she-wolf.

    So suck it bitches.

  10. BJTexs says:

    No man is an island.

  11. JD says:

    sashal – Are you mocking me? I think that you are right. You were not born on an island … more like a cave ;-)

  12. JD says:

    No man stands alone. Each man’s joy is joy to me. Each man’s grief is my own. We need one another, so I will defend, each man as my brother, each man as my friend.

  13. BJTexs says:

    Geez, enough, already. I was born in a hospital as were the rest of you I’d guess.

    Obama was born under a palm tree suckling on a pineapple with thor’s finger jammed up his butt!

    […]

    Ok, I condemn myself infinity + seven.

  14. JD says:

    I was born to a pack of wolves, and with the help of Jodi Foster, I have integrated into society.

  15. Pablo says:

    I was born on an island – Rhode Island*. See, it’s even got island in the name, bitches!

    *May not technically be an island.

  16. BJTexs says:

    Um, yea, JD. Would you mind cutting your hair and getting a shave already? they’ve cancelled “Cavemen” and the casting agent won’t be calling…

  17. JD says:

    *May be technically part of a much bigger island, Pablo ;-)

    BJ – I shaved my head. Too much grey creeping in.

  18. BJTexs says:

    Pablo: I was just hanging around Bristol, Portsmouth and Newport this past weekend and caught the season’s inaugural striper.

    Maybe you were born on Goat Island? :-)

  19. N. O'Brain says:

    “No man is an island, but I’ve met some peninsulas…”
    -Robert A. Heinlein

  20. Remus says:

    Don’t listen to my brother Romulus, he’s something of a fabulist. Plus he murdered me. Fucker.

  21. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Well hey. Hawaii is sort of an island “group” or something. (Wonder if the natives were restless?)

  22. N. O'Brain says:

    Roman in the Gloaming……

  23. BJTexs says:

    That’s right, BBH: The island “group” represents the unity of the change and hope!!!

    I think I’m falling into a diabetic coma…

  24. Dan Collins says:

    He was born on a penisula, which explains why . . .

  25. MayBee says:

    I can kind of relate. I was born on a peninsula.

  26. MayBee says:

    Oooh, the peninsula brain waves were strong at 12:54.

  27. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    …There is an “Island ave”, a little south of the “El” and two blocks over from State street…..But “Change” and “Hope” are in Cicero, so its all so confusing….

    – Oh great Obamarama….tell us…..what is the meaning of life?

  28. Jack Klompus says:

    JD – do your Nell voice, please please.
    BJTexs – but Caveman with Ringo Starr will live on forever thru the magic of Betamax.

  29. N. O'Brain says:

    When’s the new X-Files movie coming out?

  30. Dan Collins says:

    Who said peninsula?

  31. MayBee says:

    Oh. I got the G-rated brain wave.

  32. Levon says:

    I was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day, when the New York Times said God is dead.

  33. N. O'Brain says:

    “He was born of rich, but honest, parents…”

  34. Levon says:

    I was born in the wagon of a traveling show.
    My mama used to dance for the money they’d throw,

  35. N. O'Brain says:

    “Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”

  36. SarahW says:

    Oh wait. Maybe that was me.

  37. Jim in KC says:

    I was born near a river, which I believe has sand bars, which are kind of like islands. OK, so a sand bar is almost but not quite completely unlike an island.

  38. sashal says:

    JD, just teasing, bud.
    As far as penisula goes, never was born there.
    But I saw the light of the day the very first time in the desert, so I know how the camels feel

  39. Pablo says:

    Maybe you were born on Goat Island? :-)

    Nope, not Aquidneck either. Plus, you can get conceived on Goat Island but the odds of getting borned there are low. ;-)

  40. America says:

    Well, I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name. The camel can go fuck itself.

  41. JD says:

    I know you were kidding, my left leaning (read fallen over) friend.

    I was born on an island. This might be one of the most inane things I have ever heard uttered on the campaign trail.

  42. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    TOB’s(true Obama believers):“…Oh great one…..tell us the meaning of life.”

    Obamamessiah Garu: “….Ummmmm….Well…Let me be clear about this…..Life is like a river”

    TOB’s: “Ohhhhh…..thank you Oooooo great one.”

    (two years later)

    TOB’s: “….Oh great one…..You said life is like a river…..we don’t know what you meant.”

    Obamamessiah Garu: “….Damn guys…Did I say that….Sorry…..I meant life is like an Attic……on an Island…..Ummmm….Like Hawaii…..you remember Hawaii……Remember the Germans bombed it and started WWII……now I’ve got to finish this waffle I borrowed from John Kerry before it gets cold….”

    (crowd in unison Q!

  43. N. O'Brain says:

    >… Frau Clinton …
    >::: Horse with no name whinnies in terror :::

  44. TaiChiWawa says:

    Napoleon was born on an island and he died on an island. Not the same island, though. Neither island was Puerto Rico.

  45. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Igor…..would you help me with these bags?

    – Sure…..you take the blonde and I’ll take the red head…..

  46. Dan Collins says:

    I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus, rolling down Hwy 41.
    Lord, I was born a babbling man.

  47. Wow, he just needs to stop trying to draw interesting stories from his past and just try to be charming, he has no past, no real experience, nothing he can point to as being meaningful or deep. He’s just coming across as ever more shallow and empty – in other words, he’s looking more like he really is.

  48. Ramblin' Man says:

    I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound Bus.

  49. B Moe says:

    Greyhound buses don’t have refresh buttons, you know.

  50. thor - typical PW traffic driver says:

    Quit smacking the island monkeys, you landlubbers.

  51. Dickie Betts says:

    Lord, I was born a babblin’ ma-an!
    Tryin’ to run for Prezident and doin’ the best I can.
    But when it’s time for meaning, I hope you’ll understand,
    That I was born a babblin’ man!

    Just flew in to Sioux Falls or Sioux City!
    No arugula or Whole Foods to be seen.
    Guns and bitter people stayin’ away from me,
    These backwoods yokels sure do all seem mean.

    (guitar solo)

    Lord, I was born a babblin’ Ma -an!
    57 states like the ketchup in my hand.
    We need Arabic speakers in old Afghanistan!
    Cause I was born a babblin’ man.

  52. N. O'Brain says:

    Nice licks, Dickie.

  53. Cave Bear says:

    Y’all are killing me over here, I’m laughing so hard…

  54. Dickie Betts says:

    Um, thanks there, um, brain. Have you seen my heroin? I though I left it on my case of Wild Turkey…

  55. N. O'Brain says:

    Jesus saves. Allah forgives. Cthulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich.

  56. Dickie Betts says:

    Oh, yeah, a sandwich would be bitchin right now.

    […]

    um … have you seen my heroin?

  57. Abby Normal says:

    Here on fibber island
    We strum rubber guitars
    Our friends live on mars
    And we sew buttons on our cars

    Here on fibber island
    Our house is made of pie
    Our dog is two miles wide
    And all he talks about is pie

  58. SarahW says:

    Yay to #52. That’s good enough to sing.

  59. Lurking Observer says:

    So, does every person born on Manhattan share the characteristics that Obama is referring to?

  60. BJTexs says:

    SarahW: Fibber island screams to be put to music by Thomas Dolby or the Thompson Twins. Frank Zappa is not available!

  61. JD says:

    You are all racists.

  62. Rob Crawford says:

    SarahW: Fibber island screams to be put to music by Thomas Dolby or the Thompson Twins.

    They Might Be Giants beat them to it.

  63. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – I called McClellands office to see what he had to say about O’s Island creds. Got a message saying that if theres any raucous behavior whatsoever raised during the Florida/Michigan caucus hearings it will only be by Hillery supporters, because Obama people are totally reserved and well behaved, and would never do that sort of thing, and ended by saying if this is his publisher calling he hasn’t received his first book signing check yet.

  64. BJTexs says:

    Rob:

    D’OH!!!!!!!!!!!

  65. Slartibartfast says:

    …then we’d be bogus, too!

  66. Tom Petty says:

    Hey hey hey, I was Barney Rubble.

  67. Pablo says:

    If you’re going to fired, you might as well go out with a bang:

    “I’m very disappointed to hear Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts is near death because of a brain tumor. I always hoped Senator Kennedy would live long enough to be assassinated. And I wonder if he will receive a get well card from the Kopechne family.”

  68. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – The Island comment by O! may be interesting in its fecklessness, but a bigger cliff lingers for the urst-while Pres. candidate, and it started a few days ago, and so far hes not making any points for himself by doing the only thing hes capable of, running away from Iraq.

    – McDinosaur really nailed his ass to the war cross today in two ways. First by laying out just how little the junior Senator knows about the ongoing stabilization, since he hasn’t been there in over two years, and the fact that Obama has held zero meetings of his sub-committee on Afghanistan.

    – For their part the Obama camp released a weak pleat to the effect questioning McCains judgement for voting for the was in the first place.

    – My question would be how much longer the Left thinks it can get away with saying absolutely nothing positive about Iraq, when each passing day shows some measure of improvement, and even moreso if full stability is reached by convention time, and troops begin to come home even faster than they already are. What will the excuse be for their rush to surrender at that point? I can picture the continuous loops of every prominent Dem leader, including Obama, and anchored by the “We’ve lost the Iraq war” by Reid. The Reps won’t need to do much more than that. Being able to paint your opposition as appeasers, and surrender merchants, with no regard to the long term effects is going to be devesatating to the Dems when it happens.

  69. alppuccino says:

    I was born to love you,
    I was born to lick your face,
    I was born to rub you,
    but you were born to rub me first.

  70. Lisa says:

    #11: Chuckles.

  71. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Looks like more than a decade after we’re finally finding out the reason the Russki’s lost the cold war. Their toilets don’t work – even in space. As hard as it is to find a decent plumber here on terra firma, it most be a cosmological project to find one out there. Maybe a passing saucer might have a deep space roto-rooter they can borrow. History might record the first alien contact as being over a broken shitter, as man explores the universe, going where no man has gone before.

  72. Jack Klompus says:

    Tom Petty – that’s one of my favorite bastardizations of lyrics right next to Blinded by the Light’s “wrapped up like a douche.”

  73. SarahW says:

    Yay! Rob knows my favorite band.

  74. The Lost Dog says:

    Sashel –

    “reminds me of me and my clients,
    i will find the common something with them for a better connection and eventual deal.
    I am such an ass sometimes, but I am good at what I do.
    Hope Obama wins, my kind of a guy…”

    If Obamalamadingdong is your kind of guy, I can’t even imagine what kind of clients you have. An empty head and an empty suit are not conducive to any business that I khow of, other than telemarketing.

  75. B Moe says:

    I was born to love you,
    I was born to lick your face,
    I was born to rub you,
    but you were born to rub me first.

    Not quite there, yet, al.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5dnVlbKgoM

  76. Rob Crawford says:

    Yay! Rob knows my favorite band.

    I’m almost afraid to say how long I’ve been listening to them.

    I was seriously peeved when they played my alma mater — a semester after I graduated.

  77. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates - UMBA says:

    Don’t make me whip out the Jay Ferguson on your asses.

  78. mojo says:

    …mentioning that he was born on an island too.

    “Wow! Was it, like, completely surrounded by water? That musta been scary!”

    What a panderer.

Comments are closed.