it can only be described as Rovian:
Jill Simpson is an unusual woman. A lawyer, she has scratched out an uncertain living in DeKalb County, Alabama. Fellow DeKalb County lawyers describe her as “a very strange person” who “lives in her own world.” The daughter of rabid Democrats, she has rarely if ever been known to participate in politics as even a low-level volunteer. Yet today, she is a minor celebrity who is unvaryingly described in the press as a “Republican operative.” Those who know her in DeKalb County scoff at the idea that she is a Republican at all.
Recently, Simpson’s house and law office were on the auction block. Rumor has it that she is leaving DeKalb County for good and heading for the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Jill Simpson, who barely got by in Alabama, is now toasted by the national Democratic party and featured on network and cable news. All this because she has testified–without a shred of supporting evidence–to a conspiracy so vast as to be not just implausible, but ridiculous.
Boy Howdy! The Hamsters must be pinging of the walls over this one.
Dan
I’m thinking I figured this out. See, I’m think Simpson really is a GOP operative! devised to further draw out the utter stupidity of the Democrats/Media party.
So I think to get to the bottom of this the Republicans have a duty to subpoena the Dem investigators to testify to the irrelevance.
More fun in the “Reality Based Community”.
And when I talked to those congressional investigators I told them that I had followed Don Siegelman and tried to get pictures of him cheating on his wife.
If that’s so, did she also tell them that she was put to that job by the nefarious Mr. Rove?
Because why would that not be relevant to a conspiracy to “get Seigleman” involving Rove?
And his brainwave gun where he inserts thoughts into a persons head…I think that’s pretty damn relevant, too.
Wait a minute…you mean to tell me that someone who’s clearly unhinged is a hero to Democrats?
Geddouttahere.
Rove propably should be arrested. You can try to tear this one woman down, but it won’t work this election season. It doesn’t matter that you have a few people on the internets claiming that this or that is wrong and gnawing at the edges.
But Danthor, please do go on. :)
And I will give Jeff a lot of hits today checking back. But you knew that right, Danthor?
You can try to tear this one woman down, but it won’t work this election season.
Let me guess: 9/11 was an inside job.
Nut.
I think her neice Maggie knows all the answers, but refuses to talk.
I have no neice named Maggie, thank you very much, nor am I a truther.
Danthor is still silent. Why?
Pecking at the edges — it’s all you all have left(!).
Shall I call you ‘edgers’?
Jd, darleen, dan, karl, happy (I knew someome who went by the name happy — you are no happy), and jeff?
edgers — that’s a good name.
Shall I call you ‘edgers’?
Sure, as long as you don’t mind if we call you ‘psycho’.
Rove propably should be arrested.
I probably should be a millionaire.
“I probably should be a millionaire.”
Masui should probably be intelligent.
cjd — or should I call you jeffy — that shot wasn’t even close.
B Moe, I’m sorry you aren’t a millionaire. Did you answer the quesion wrongly?
Calling Masui “psycho” would be an insult to one of our regular commenters, psycho, who makes much more sense than this.
But the “Rove should be arrested thing” is way cool, ’cause that indictment is going to be unsealed any day now.
It’s nishinazi, guys.
Merry Fitzmas, nishi.
And the word is “Judeochristian”, nishinazi.
You guys are comical. Bring out the Darleen. She’s the best you got.
Where is Darleen?
Otherwise you all are fringe.
Fringe — like on a dress.
nishizonodrunki
Darleen is your hardest hitter.
Karl, Dan, Jeffy, you all are soaked.
Darleen is the best. She has handed you all your balls for months now.
weenies
I just made a cookie in honor of happyfeet, and I am indeed gnawing at the edges. They have the best feet ever. They are macarons.
What, how did sumptuary laws get mixed up in blogging. I bet it was that post-pant-suitism feminism thread.
That can’t be nishi. I don’t think it is.
I am guessing it is that English teacher from Texas. Has that drunk, to dim to even come up with a clever insult quality.
Thanks for my balls, Darleen.
Love,
“Jeffy”
Oh yeah, that guy.
All humor aside, it’s really dangerous when a major part of the country’s body politic adheres more closely to conspiracy theories and bile than to truth and honesty. The Democrats have made this woman a minor celebrity simply because she says something that reinforces their hatreds. Similarly, they gave Karpinski a career on the speaking circuit after she was demoted and retired for failing to supervise her troops at Abu Ghraib; she says it wasn’t her fault, and they desperately want to blame Bush, so they lap up what she says like a cat and milk.
Not to say the Republicans are immune to the reflex, but, damn, the Democrats don’t have anyone they’d listen to telling them they’re acting like idiots.
eh, thor??? gotta admit that’d fit Dan just right danthor!
as a college teacher of english whatever..that’d be just okiedokie.
the Democrats don’t have anyone they’d listen to telling them they’re acting like idiots.
They aren’t acting like idiots in their eyes, Rob. They are acting like Democrats. Their base is failures, losers and victims. Those are the people that need government help and protection. Those are the people the nannystate caters to. Karpinski is a failure selling herself as a victim, she is a hero over there. It is an upside down world that loves incompetence and hates success.
I wonder what the stats are on thwarted workers-comp claims of encephalitis among them. Brain-damage with a grudge.
That’s so cool! Today I learned how to make cherry smoothies. This involves a lot of pulsing with your blender at low low low and then a colander is involved. So it’s been a tremendously productive weekend already.
I had the same thought as B Moe before I saw his comment. Mystery solved I’d say.
Who’s the new TTP? It’s been said before … but why do we attract such a low level of trolls? I swear… Caric’s attempt yesterday(?) was pathetic. I’m thinking he was deep in the sauce at the time, so perhaps his effort should be graded on a curve?
Congrats HP on the whole cherry smoothy thing. My accomplishment this weekend, so far, was to find 7 morels on my property. I’ve never had one before … I’m rather excited. I may even put a picture of ’em up on my blog.
This is not surprising; in nature. The “October Surprise theory” relied on
an clerk in the Israeli foreign office,
Ari-Ben Menashe, who portrayed himself as some super Mossad officer; and a part time perfume salesman from Oregon, Richard Brenneke turned CIA agent. The former figure was a linch pin in the early CIA cocaine stories floated by Rolling Stone, the month before the 1988 election. And perennial
“Is Larry King Alive” (sorry had to use Laura Ingraham’s tag)guest Barbara
Honegger. Now you would think with this
sterling set of sources, that some one
like Robert McFarlane would have legal recourse, when slandered by the likes of Craig Unger; in Esquire. Yes, the House of Saud/House of Bush author. Apparently not, according to the appeals court, who admitted there were
false statements; but that didn’t matter.
Maybe, but there has to be someone in their ranks who sees the dangerous path their treading. Of course, they might just treat that person like they did Lieberman, and eject him from the fold.
But, I can hope, can’t I? After all, when the right was in a mood for conspiracy theories, it had plenty of voices of sanity talking it back from the brink.
This is a level of stoooopid an order of magnitude beyond even dataless. Who is this Matsui clown?
Here’s a snippet of John’s wife -Monica Conyer’s in a recent meeting of Detroit City Council… I swear, you guys gotta see it, it’s too funny. Do it Baby. It’s just funny … that John Conyers is the head of ANYTHING married to this woman.
doritos? Chips lady? michelines? Is that you?
Now, JD, I’m reconsidering my previous comment. Matsui may have taken the short bus to get here to PW comments … we should be nice.
Matsui. I find your opinion very interesting. How do I subscribe to your newsletter?
WHAT HAPPEN TO MY COOL LINK? Ok, try again. DO it baby . Man, I wish we had preview here …
doritos? Chips lady? michelines? Is that you?
That’s the one. That would be my guess anyway.
Carin:
Congratulations on the morels. They’re elusive little things, aren’t they?
My accomplishment so far is that I got a new puppy to poop twice–outside.
Really, no middle-aged white guy has much dignity, but standing in my backyard imploring a puppy to “do her business” and then rewarding her successful attempts with stupid baby-talk is below even me.
I double-dog denounce myself.
Is #6 matoko/nishi/gamera back with spelling abilities?
Holy shit, Carin! I figured it was bad up there, but damn. And somehow Detroits problems are Bushs fault? lol.
Aww, others guessed too before I got through the thread.
Isn’t it disturbing that one person runs around with so many different internet handles at the same time? I mean, really – Gleens got the market on the sockpuppets.
…then rewarding her successful attempts with stupid baby-talk is below even me.
Oh, come on. Nothing warms a cynical old heart like that puppy wiggle-all-over when they get excited about doing something right for a change.
B Moe, the clip where she argues with a 6th grader about the incident is also hilarious.
And the school kid rhetorically kicks her rear. ‘You’re the adult, aren’t you supposed to act like one?’ (the gist)
I know, B Moe, you’re right, of course.
Plus, she’s got that 9 week old round puppy belly, and that sort of sour puppy smell.
Cowboy – I had no idea you could find them this far South. But, there they were. They are loverly. Congrats on the puppy poop:) I lurvs me some puppies.
B Moe – that “Do it Baby” part of the clip is being used on the radio, and it cracks me up every time I hear it.
Maggie – the clip with the students is just down-right embarrassing. I swear, when a middle school student has more sense than you, it’s really just time to hang it up. But, I’m all for broadcasting Monica’s behavior far and wide. He bought her that position – and it’s the foulest example of nepotism out there.
Nothing warms a cynical old heart like hitting a 220 yard 3-wood over water to about 8 feet for eagle, or Kyle Bush getting slammed into the outside wall, or dropping a transmission.
Oh – hey Carin. This page splains how you can make many happy morels from the one you found in just, um, 26 easy steps. Some of which involve agar. This would a lot make my cherry smoothie thing look kinda lame.
Oh. But if I’m reading it right you can kind of skip to step 25 and see if you can’t sorta make more grow where you found those.
Oh, that’s kinda cool Happy feet. My neighbor says that you’re supposed to shake them (upside down-like) where you find them to encourage the spores to fall off. But, that link —well, shaking them seems kinda lame in comparison.
Oh Budha…OK, put down your drink….Larry Johnson lunacy
Yesterday he said the Republicans already HAD the tape and were going to use it as an October Surprise – because all republicans including his best friend karl Rove telegraph all the plans to Larry you know – today he’s got a republican buyers for the tape.
Gawd he’s such a TOOL.
How do you measure rat pain relief I wonder? Mostly I was just checking to make sure cherries weren’t some kind of crazy laxative in case maybe I wanna go to a movie later. Other Guy said they were on messenger but I think he’s wrong there.
oops.
the funniest part is – his stupid readers don’t quite GET why Hillary wouldn’t pony up the million, This too funny in about 100 different ways.
project complete.
Thanks all — and “Darleen” didn’t even contribute.
Well done.
Larry Johnson is a sad case. I’ve seen pictures.
Another website describes the steps:
I’d try it, but they say (in bold) that they can’t guarantee anything will grow. Seems like a lot of work for a maybe situation.
Good job Masui. It seems like lots of us are having super-productive weekends. Cowboy’s puppy especially.
HFeet, I could very much go for one of your cherry smoothies right now.
That was enterprise.
You should invent us a drink?
Cowboy,
Try the puppy-talk in Korean. There are some cute nicknames on the list.
(in bold)
what?
happy, I did it furst so yours doesn’t really count — copycat.
Try something original.
Matsui – What was the project? See how quickly you could embarass yourself?
Wow. That’s very sciencey too. That reminds me I wanna get this for the little nephewniece people at Christmas but I want to reread it first so I need to have it sent here. I hope they finish that Harry Potter crap soon but they’re doing it for storytime and my brother is committed to reading the whole damn set outloud so they’ll probably be driving by the time they get done. That woman sure has sucked a lot of the oxygen out of kids’ reading I think. Ok yes mostly I’m still bitter that Harry didn’t get killed dead in the last book. I was really looking forward to that. For all the looks I got reading that crap on airplanes I shoulda got some kind of pay-off I think.
hmmm, I pedaled for about half an hour, went to rehearsal for a couple hours and transferred a couple records. oh, and practiced a little on the end o’ Cruda Sorte for all the good it will do. now I’m reading comments. w007!
Thanks, Rick. I’m going with “gu-tang”–for the obvious reason.
As it is, Youngest Kid named her “Riini,” which is apparently something anime-esque. So, “gu-tang” it is.
Oh. I will try Sarah… my next speriment is gonna be an orange smoothie with cayenne pepper – we’ll see if that’s PW-worthy. I think it’s promising.
Cherries/cherry juice, especially tart cherries, are good for the gout, and prostate health, I’m told.
I was alarmed by that tape when I first saw it. But I have to say it’s very Richmond City Council meeting in essence. And the ladies do have chips upon their shoulders, and think getting louder an having the last word is getting persuasive.
Phew!
Although I am a little freaked out at how old I have become (I never thought reality applied to me), thank God I never met this woman when I was in my twenties. My judgement was so good back then (and, full disclosure here, probably still is), that I would probably have tried to sleep with her, and, as kismet has shown me, probably would have.
This was before I realized that anyone who would go home with me had to be way off in the head (W. C. Fieldishism)
Yup. I can’t believe that I would ever even think of taking “anything with hair that moved” home with me, only to wake up in the morning and have to to gnaw my arm off so I wouldn’t wake her up. But I did. And I haven’t had arms for many years now.
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGHH!!!!!!
Old certainly is different, ain’t it? Sometimes I really miss only being able to see crotches, ya know?
I also really miss being a young, stupid hormonally driven moron on nights like this…
OK. I’m going to the bar now. I need to forget how many women that I know that make Jill look like a normal human being. I even know some women that make Nancy Pelosi look sane…
the project was to poke you all.
wasn’t that clear?
what kinda of puppy? or did I miss that?
Macarons are the ultimate protein wisdom cookie…kind of deceptively simple at first glance – a fluffy, airy confection in affect, but complex in structure, and technique sensitve. By way of contrast, Ace of spades might be more of a cupcake blog.
Yours was a french-meringue version and had a vanilla mint shell and a special filling – a bit of dark chocolate ganache enclosed in an wowsa eye-opening mint buttercream. It starts out with a sweet crunch/tender chewy and then HELLO!!!
and sophitication itself at the center.
oh, and to run up jeffy’s hits.
as I said
Oh. But I should say Hoppy Totter is scintillating literature compared to that Eragon dreck. Other Guy foisted those on me and they were absolutely painfulstupid.
sophistication, rather.
Yes what kind of puppy?
The more you all are associated with the opposition, the better.
Sarah, I so bad want to be able to make edible things. Things involving ganache. I think I’m gonna get one of those expensive mixer thingers from Target this year even though I really don’t have counterspace for it. I’m hoping that will be inspirational. My last big attempt involved learning to cook Indian food and mostly I just ended up with badly stained tupperware.
damn, the Democrats don’t have anyone they’d listen to telling them they’re acting like idiots.
To be fair, Bubba himself told them they were fucking nuts.
Of course, the Clintons have been thrown under the bus now, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
but mostly I think now it’s time for some beer. and dinner. and a movie
Sometimes I read my comments, and think that I should be frightened…
The last one is scaring me pretty good…
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
the project was to poke you all.
Not even with a hogshead of tequila and a Kevlar condom, hunnie.
More Bush McCain Goldstein Darleen, the better.
sorry Sarah.
Indian food does have a lot of raw sienna in it, I think.
Or burnt umber, I forget.
Ohnoes. I think Masui has twisted off. I think there must be something about the Internet thing where you write it here and then you see it up there on your screen that’s kind of a really heady experience for some people.
keep commenting, that’s the project.
And somebody’s making a word salad. It’s cookery unlimited.
Maggie:
Little Gu-Tang is sadly illegitimate. The daughter of a single mother collie, her father was, and remains, a deadbeat dad–probably German Shepherd, possibly Black Labrador. Whichever, though we’ve had her for four days, we’ve not received any support or even notification of same.
Thank goodness, she apparently has all of the good traits of her mixed heritage. She’s calm, smart, and short haired.
…and she loves the hell out of a pig ear.
can we get it up to 200?
come on people! Happy, you yourself should be able to post at the least 100 more.
let’s do it!!!!!11!1!
Oh. Now I feel all shy and self-conscious.
I think maybe I’ll just watch some Buffy now thanks.
Feet:
I tried Thai food last year–it almost killed me. Imagine my disssappointment when I learned that delicious food was actually very difficult and time consuming to make.
I love coconut milk ginger soup with chicken and rice noodles, but DAMN, if I have to put two hours into anything, I better get something more than a full stomach and a nasty stain on my tie.
I made some yummy bacon-wrapped chicken breasts on the grill tonight. A little rub dusted over them, 350 degrees for 45 minutes and some happy kids and wife.
SarahW,
Thamk you for making me feel not so nuts.
If you.ve ever had a day like mine (and it appears that you have, sometime, somewhere)), and you had my basically prohibited vocabulary,
I could almost imagine you as “off the wall”.
Seriously. Thank you for letting me think that I am only half as nuts as I am acting. Really bad days just shift my GPS sometimes.
Cheers.
TLD
Cowboy,
Geez – Little Gu-tang could grow up to be President with that kind of lineage. Try and get her into a good madrasa for obedience training. It will really pay off later.
Be careful tonight, Lost Dog.
…don’t take your acute self-awareness to town, son.
Leave your acute self-awareness at home, son,
Don’t take your acute self-awareness to town.
Is it talking to itself ?
happyfeet – We had a mango pineapple and strawberry salsa. That might be a good smoothie.
BUSCH goes down beeyotch.
My first thought was Catholic school first, Rick. She’s just darling in plaid. The madrassa here is only K-8 and their volleyball team sucks. However, their Sufi debate team RAWKS.
Mr. Lost Dog is way ahead of the game I think. Oh – Cowboy – there’s a Thai place that’s amazing I can walk to from here and now also Indian and Mexican and Chinese and Mediterranean and Russian. So that really has taken the impetus out of my more ambitious cooking endeavors. Next up is a cold avocado soup that you make in your blender. I’m really really good with the blender.
Wow. You’ve set the bar pretty high for yourself this time, haven’t you Michelle?
Oh – I got mango horchata mix today I was thinking I might use in one of my smoothies. But I haven’t done anything with pineapples yet. Good call.
If I ever get a little more land, I’m going to grow chufas on some of it. Horchata!
91 more to go!
Cowboy,
So, your bitch is a bastard?
Pablo err Jeffy, don’t tell me you are getting tired little feet.
I had to google chufas. These people seem to be saying you grow them so turkeys and javelinas and quails and deers like to visit your place so you can kill them and eat them. They’re like bait I guess. There are so many things I don’t know about nature. I remember earlier this year psycho taught me that I really had some potentially tragic misperceptions about mountain lions. But in the end it’s what you don’t know that kills you. It’s just like that not-Speed Racer Emile Hirsch movie all the good liberals are Netflixing.
I can’t believe how thirsty the blender plans are making me.
Comment by Cowboy on 5/17 @ 8:01 pm #
Feet:
I tried Thai food last year–it almost killed me. Imagine my disssappointment when I learned that delicious food was actually very difficult and time consuming to make.
“I love coconut milk ginger soup with chicken and rice noodles, but DAMN, if I have to put two hours into anything, I better get something more than a full stomach and a nasty stain on my tie.”
Cowboy – I can’5 believe I’m goin g to say this, but Thai’s don’t wear ties.
Cowboy,
What’s with “two hours” on the coconut milk ginger soup? I haven’t cooked it myself but Thai doesn’t seem all that time consuming.
83 more
you can dooz it! reallies!
I enjoyed cutting up the pineapples. After that, juicing some limes, and chopping up some cilantro, my work was done.
– *chuckle*. Being ignored for 200 comments must be the new “I have no life”.
This girl told me today that the marketing budget alone for Speed Racer was over $150 million. Warner Bros. is made of stupid I think. I think their next film is some Get Smart adaptation with that guy from The Office and then some Heath Ledger snuff flick involving Batman. They’re not really good at thinking of new stuff over there anymores and throwing money at the marketing isn’t gonna salvage that I don’t think.
BBH — it hasn’t happened yet. And I notice you all have taken up the Great Orange Satan way.
Pablo — you or Jeffy or Little feet can get this over the top.
Well, OK, Rick, perhaps the 2 hours thing was a bit of an exageration.
My usual lunch is a can of Hearty Campbell’s Soup–straight from the can. Cold.
That sounds really good JD. I have some leftover cilantro I could to do something with.
Oh. *do* something with. Nevermind – I just remembered I can use it in that avocado soup but I have to get some avocados first.
Co-opting, anyone?
good job little, oops i mean happy ooops I mean jeffy.
– You know guys, the great unwashed community el rationale de riguer is going to go all apeshit that we’re doing something nasty with puppies and blenders ovah here. As feets might say: “I’m thinking we feed a lot their paranoia sometimes sort of.”
I’m off to watch Malcolm X. See you all tomorrow.
– Hey. wait. You left these 70 comments. Nice ones too. Something about blending trolls and morels on toast.(with a single paranoid cherry on top – have a nice conspiratorial day.)
Morels and chufas on toast so we can lure the deers and quails. Masui is The Japanese journal of anesthesiology this says. Here’s and article they have on “The present state of anesthetic management for awake craniotomy in Japan.”
That’s only the scariest.
Do be careful with chufas. It says right there that it’s a bunchgrass. Your Bermuda-growing neighbors might not like you afterwards.
Regards,
Ric
nah bb, i left them for you. Happypablojeffy can also take them. I guess you didn’t understand, much like jd.
Oh. *an* article that’s supposed to say. This Masui is different. I don’t get it.
– Then it must be nishi, although she hasn’t had a cherry in a long time. Not since she paid that shopping cart guy to…..well you know. I don’t want to get to graphic, but it involves shutting his eyes, holding his breath, and doing something disgusting with a zucchini.
You suck how you try to rob me of my individuality by the way. Yes I’m talking to you Masui, if that’s your real name.
Im leave you with your recipes. copy cats.
These people seem to be saying you grow them so turkeys and javelinas and quails and deers like to visit your place so you can kill them and eat them.
Yeah… they’re also what horchata is made from, so people like to eat ’em too.
ZOMG I just got it
Your site is orange because you are part of KOS. ZOMG.
You people are really hippies. ZOMG.
That’s why this site was nominated for humor in all the web awards.
ZOMG why didn’t I understand that?
I thought horchata was just from rice. I think the supermarket kind mostly is, at least that’s what it says on the Kern’s cartons. But you’re right. Rice is arroz in spanish. I know that cause sometimes I get arroz con pollo and I always wonder why it’s not pollo con arroz. Arroz con pollo just seems backwards to me. At that link it says…
Tigernut. How cool is that?
-hor’chata^ – adverb – commentary found on Leftist blogs, or in Taylor street bars after midnight. (see “dumbfucks)
Masui appears to be a stalker. Probably with Greenwaldian attributes.
rawr!
Well Dave, you appear to be a lefty, orange you?
Any top mountain-lion tips?
Me? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Taco Bell has a new line of those fruity Mexicany drinks. I’ve been getting those a lot from this huge carniceria called Vallarta Market or something over by Mexican Target that has like a dozen different kinds. They’re awesome when it’s hot like this. I want to try them all but my favorite is the kind of milky watermelony one so I keep getting that instead of exploring the other ones.
Oh hey. This was a new to happyfeet thing. That market has a shuttle what will pick you up to shop there. Who knew? It’s cause a lot of their customers don’t drive. I guess this sort of thing could have been happening for a long time and I just never noticed. That’s kind of neat I think.
Oh. Mostly I learned that if there’s a scary mountain lion and you shoot your gun into the air to scare it away you look tastier.
Almost there! Keep commenting sarah.
ooooh, I think this is my favorite tip.
you look tastier
That is counter-intuitive.
– “It” has some attributes of a certain Or-e-gone nutcase.
Saute with onions and mushrooms.
Maggie, that reminds me of an unfortunate picnic in the Great Smoky Mountains. Fortunately there was a picnic basket that didn’t run as fast my four year old legs.
“Any top mountain-lion tips?”
That’s easy. Always have someone just a little smaller and a little slower with you in cougar country.
Avocado soup, you say? Intriguing.
My last soup was a french onion with green vidalias which are like baby vidalias with scallions attached. That was damned good. But I had not considered Avocado soup, as they tend not to cook terribly well. Emeril shows the way.
BBH – yes. I’ve all but concluded.
Hey! Stupid blog.
That should have said “Eat them before they eat you.”
Right. It’s a cold soup thing except not yucky like gespacho, which is yucky.
Oh. Google around, too. I saw that Emeril one but there’s easier ones you don’t have to cook anything for. Just blend it and forget it. Oh. Well not forget it cause my sister says it turns a funny color later the next day.
But that lime crema part looks like it’s worth bookmarking.
The number one tip for dealing with mountain lions is to be where they ain’t.
(2) If you cannot or will not follow rule #1, you have a choice:
A) Go armed. (Note: a handgun with a caliber beginning with a number smaller than 4 does not count as “armed” in this context.)
B) Go with somebody who runs slower than you do.
(3) Remember rule 2B when invited to go for a walk in the woods.
Regards,
Ric
Oh. No. Me and B Moe both think that one is the Texas one not the Oregon one. This one is way innocuous really as long as you don’t make eye contact.
but the Texas one usually has an orange name.
Also my sister says the avocado soup is tastier when avocados are 3 for a dollar than when they’re $1.99 a piece.
Oh. I think she’s being neaky is all.
Also the Texas one has that tic where she accuses everyone of being jeffy. It’s really the most disconcerting thing.
ah, I suppose it could be. that’s just would make it sadder is all.
I was all “Texas” until the orange puns.
Yeah, the Texas one. She’s needy but harmless. And she goes away once she sobers up.
But #168, not an Oregon trait. So, yeah. Texas.
Oh. The other one scares me a lot to where I get really quiet cause she’s malicious and scary. This one I think has a particular fondness for JD. Last time I remember her she was for real trying to find a home for kittens or puppies or something. It was kind of sweet.
oh, yeah, puppies.
“Saturday night at PW” – Name that nutcase sockpuppet. . Well at least the distraction didn’t yank us off topic. “The Unicorn conspiracies, or how I fell in love with my blender”.
I’d starve without my blender I think.
so, what kind of blender do you have happyfeet? we had a cuisinart POC that I convinced RTO to donate and I would get him a new one, but I haven’t and he hasn’t really missed it either, but what would you recommend in case he does.
Someday we’ll all get together with peppery smoothies, assorted dips, macarons and avacado soup, and reminisce.
I need one that grinds almonds,
And pulverizes ice to smithers.
I have a crappy blender I want to die so I can get a new one. It’s more than blendy enough but the way the pitcher is it pours retarded to where your first glass of something half goes down the side and on the counter. You have to do this sort of toss and pour thing with your wrist. My rice cooker died and that was exciting so I ordered a new one at walmart.com but then today at Target I saw the Oster one I really wanted and now I have rice cooker misgivings but hopefully it will at least be better than the last one which was a cheapie one I got before I knew that I liked rice. It’s always brown rice. I have this thing about brown rice cause this guy on the radio in Dallas used to always talk about brown rice and I guess I internalized it.
Mr. Reynolds here is helpful.
Gu-tang….
Maybe Poshintang: http://wanderingdeitysworld.blogspot.com/2007/11/poshintang.html
Yeah, it’s Korean dog-soup. It’s very spicy and delicious–goes good with OB Beer.
Koreans like dogs. The eatin’ kind aren’t good dogs at all kinda retarded chow-chow looking….
– “Nice rice for sale. Ten cents a pail.”
– I’m channeling Theodore tonight.
Brown rice has fiber and is more nutritiony and also it has a better texture I think.
If you haven’t tried it usually you can ask for it at Chinese.
happyfeet, Larry North? RTO came up with the name.
When I was growing up we got one kind of rice. There was one kind in the world. White rice, Uncle Ben’s style, with spoon of sugar and pat of butter on each serving.
The first time I saw brown rice in a chinese restaurant I thought there had been a serious mistake.
Yes! Is he still around? This was years ago, and it seemed like he was going somewhere but I don’t know that he ever did. He had this real fixation on the brown rice.
Is it too late to mention Three Penis Wine?
I was maybe 7. That’s the last time I saw brown rice for a good while.
BBH- I quote Theodore all the time. “Keep your eyes open. At least on one side”. I truely think he’s written all you ever need to know.
I planted flowers today, and I think I killed the lavender. Which is sad, because I just got new pots to plant the lavender in, because I had bought the lavender specifically for other pots in which it did not fit. Soon I’ll have empty new pots, I think.
I also got a water lily, which I’m very excited about. Right now I’m being ignored because my husband rented a boy movie.
Carin! Oh the memories! May is morel month in Michigan.
Maybe he’s gotten away from the brown rice thing. I remember his “eat to lose” mantra though. Here’s his blog to where you can get a sense of how anal retentive he is about food. It was always fascinating to hear him go on and on and on about what he had for lunch for some reason.
I did’t know Darleen had been to China. It was nice to include color matching service.
Rice cookers are cheating, happyfeet.
Measure rice by volume. Add twice that much water and a smidge of oil to the pot. Pour in the rice. Bring to a boil. Allow to boil for approx. 1 minute — longer for dryish rice, shorter for dampish. Cover with tight-fitting lid, turn (electric) stove off (this is one of the reasons I like electric stoves). When you can touch the pot with your finger the rice is done.
If you have a gas stove, turn the fire to minimum after covering the pot, and shake it a bit occasionally. When you can’t feel anything moving turn the fire off, and again wait until you can just bear to touch the pot.
Easy-peasy, requires no specialized equipment. Different types of rice differ only in the time you let it boil — brown rice takes a bit longer, for instance. Experiment. Amaze your oriental friends — a round-eye who can cook rice? Amazing!
My wife doesn’t like rice, so I rarely have it any more.
Regards,
Ric
a choice wtf from that link…
Um, ok.
I know rice is supposed to be simple, but I really suck at cooking. To where almost always the fire alarm goes off. I just suck. My mom and sister-in-law are really a lot evangelical about microwaving rice, but that didn’t work for me either. Food can be really uncooperative for me.
Isn’t it too early?
MayBee, you killed lavender?
If you’ll tell me the secret I’ll send you some morning-glory cuttings.
Regards,
Ric
Most of the asian people I know use rice cookers. I have one that can do amazing things, but it’s all in Japanese so I only know how to turn it on and off.
Lazy Jew eaters.
Oh Ric! Are you trying to get rid of lavender? I think that’s your problem. I loved mine too much.
Isn’t it too early?
It’s always cocktail hour somewhere.
Hey, if you mixed the multi-penis wine with the deer tail wine, you could call it a “cocktail cocktail”.
RTO almost always burns rice. I’m not sure why, I’ve never had a problem. boil water, throw the rice in, put lid on pot, turn burner off and set the timer for 20 minutes. It’s something I eat a lot when he’s gone, just a big ol’ bowl of rice.
I know how to kill lavender. Plant it in a border and then your neighbor’s guy tops it with the string trimmer. Then your neighbor asks if you are going to make any of those nice lavender wands this year.
…or maybe it’s, if you tell me the secret I won’t send you morning-glory cuttings…
Regards,
Ric
I helped an old friend get her swamp cooler set up for the summer.
And helped assemble her new wood barbeque cooker/smoker. We were going to have steaks and chicken, but she didn’t know that you have to “burn in” one of those before using them the first time.
I passed on the opportunity to point out the danger inherent in womenfolk operating charcoal technology. Not that there’s any thing wrong with that.
Having no Three Penis Wine on hand, I think I’m going to have a dram of Black Bush and go to bed. Tuckered out from working in the garden today…
G’night, all.
North – He blogs like a xangorexic girl.
– Anyung-hee asayo Grey – Cho-semnida Blog. Never trust a neighbor handing out free soup. Especially one that used to own a dog.
He would have lots of very competitive xanga pals.
I went and got my car washed today. I ran into a guy I know at the carwash, and we were both wearing Chicago Cubs t-shirts.
I think someone tried to move the island today, Sean M. Little things mostly but some freaky happenstances.
– Sean – You both belong to despondents anonymous?
Ohnoes Sean.
Many miles away
Something crawls from the slime
At the bottom of a dark Scottish lake
Probably a rip in the time space continuum, because I did not win the Mondomillions jackpot as the universe intended.
maggie, tell RTO he’s overintellectualizing it. Imagine you’re a Vietnamese or Chinese peasant. You have one (1) pot with a lid, a wok, and what amounts to a permanent campfire. Boil the rice, cover, set on the warm side, put the wok on the fire, and by the time you’ve stir-fried the topping the rice is ready. That was the insight I had, and my rice comes out right most of the time.
Lavender is a weed, here. Fortunately the morning-glory chokes it out :-(
Regards,
Ric
I imagine a lot I have the carpet of a Vietnamese peasant. It’s very sad.
I didn’t have Rice Krispies for breakfast, tho. I didn’t have anything for breakfast, in fact. That’ll happen when you sleep ’til noon.
eh? I have breakfast after noon all the time. usually cheerios.
Okay, when I said noon, I actually meant 1:30. And there was leftover soup, so I had that.
– Cooking rice on a carpet isn’t recommended, even if you use extra water.
whew! I thought maybe there was some rule I was breaking and they were going to come for me.
– ABRAMS: “…And why have you never mentioned before the allegations of Rove and the pictures?  .  .  .”
– SIMPSON: “…Look…..I only came to this hearing because Merge said there’d be free donuts….”
This commercial has disturbing implications.
eeeeee!
speaking of ads do you guys have fake Obama selling Kias where you are?
that’s brilliant. And also they have hamburgers.
Oh. I don’t watch the tv. It’s a thing. And in aggregate it tends to kind of disturb me.
– Anyung-hee asayo Grey – Cho-semnida Blog. Never trust a neighbor handing out free soup. Especially one that used to own a dog.
Anyung-hee asayo, Big Bang Hunter. I think in pronounciation, it sounds kinda like “ahn-hey asayo”, but what to I know, I’m a Long Nose….
I love Korean food. Heck, I even like Koreans. I got along famously over there–the only things they like more than drinking and smoking is fighting and gambling. Not at all the ‘reserved oriental’ stereotype.
When I and the other officers of my unit were invited to the Swiss/Swedish neutral nations camp in Panmunjom, they served us North Korean snake wine–it a plum wine which had a venomous snake inserted in live and then aged and mummified.
Weird stuff–it would make you feel all sweaty and hot and then colors and lights took on an iridescent quality. Very nice….
The DMZ is the wierdest place I’ve ever lived.
Did Michelle finally pass out?
I think so.
#230 – We can hope….
My best friend is Korean. He’s one of those Koreans who can’t drink, and he quit smoking a while back. I don’t think he gambles, either.
He makes a good designated driver.
Gray –
Yobo-sayo. I don’t know if it’s the same place any more – this goes back almost thirty years – but I spent a winter on Nightmare Range up on the DMZ, under canvas when we weren’t on the line.
I liked the RoKs, too. The first time I was there, they were still under martial law. My FDC section even got shot at trying to leave a Pohang… social club… after curfew one night. We slept on blankets in the bar, with tea and conversation I never remotely considered possible, given the situation.
Oh, and those bastards missed us on purpose. Or were drunk, because I never saw RoK Army or Marines ever miss with a 60 at that range again.
Last time I was in country was ’86. Night and day. No curfew, cars everywhere, not just taxis, very little pilfering by the locals in the field. Paved roads where there had only been dirt before.
I’d like to take my family to Pusan and then take the bus to Seoul if I could. Magnificent country to tour. To fight in… not so much.
Ah, so, DeKalb County, AL.
I’ve been there. One of the long rift/fold valleys on the west side of the Appalachians/Smokies. I’m sure there are people who live long, fulfilled lives there, but from my POV it would have to gain a lot to have nothing. Interstate 59 is one of the more useless stretches of pavement in the US. Not even any interesting trees. It’s the sort of place where you could go up to a little old lady sitting on the porch, explain who you were talking about, and she’d think a minute, then purse her lips: “Oh, one of those Simpsons.” If you encouraged her she’d give the genealogy back to the Late Unpleasantness… I had originally gathered that Simpson was from down around Montgomery somewhere. If I were looking for an operative, DeKalb County, AL is not the first place that would spring to mind as a possible place to search.
Regards,
Ric
– Yes….most Hungooks drop the “hee” and shorten it to aniyah-asayo…..sort of our hi versus the more formal hello. “Cho-semnida of course means “good”, or the more formal ahjah cho-semnida. By the way. Be careful when you try to say ad-cho-see (grandfather). Its easy to get confused and say it as agi shee (young girl), with interesting results. The DMZ?. You could power a large screen TV off the electricity in the air.
I was there in 92. It’s two different countries: The Asian Tiger from Pusan to Seoul and then it’s Cold War Disneyland from Seoul to the Southern MDL. I’ve spent time on Nightmare Range. We used to do a lot of training in that area. I was stationed at CP Greaves 1/506 infantry (Currahee!) then.
I did the Guard Post rotations at Collier and Oulette. I used to give VIP tours of the infitration tunnel, radar sites and Propaganda Village (Ki Jong Dong) area.
The RoK soldiers were tough as nails. We’d get in brawls with them and then all end up drinking makkoli and declaring our undying support for each other. I’d love to go back, too….
– Yobo-sayo – “Hello” on the telephone….which I always thought was weird, because Yobo means sweetheart.
Yeah, I learned barely enough Korean to get by: “Maek-ju OB, Joo-se-oh.” “Cahn-sa-ham-nida”. No idea how to transliterate it, but it always got me a cold beer and a you’re-a-nice-occupier smile!
After The Wall fell, it was a weird dynamic there between us and the RoKs kind of:
“Thanks for joining with us honorably to fight the crazy North Koreans, we dig American stuff, we don’t wanna be crazy North Koreans, but you all should go soon.”
I found the San Jose area has the best Korean restaurants outside of Seoul.
My favorite Korean phone conversation, overheard in the “Katusa Snack Bar” at CP Greaves:
Ring-ring. “Oh? Yea. Yeaaaaa… Oh. yeaaaaaaa. Oh!” Hang up the phone. Me with a mouthful of bul-go-gi thinking “Hmmmm. That was odd.”
Shhhh…Garden Grove might hear you.
Carin. It was a bad year for morels. Too cold. I found about a pound of them in the woods around here,(Chicago suburbs). Usually I get three to five pounds. I like em scrambled eggs. You can take the water that you rinsed them in and put it back where you first found them. There are a lot of spoors in the water. Enjoy.
– Translation: “Give to me OB (beer) – Thank you”
– To which the bar keep probably smiled and said something like: “Chu-im-inayo Meegook Coe-giddi”. (You’re welcome American big nose (Elephant).
#229 Gray – P.J. O’Rourke called the Koreans ‘the Irish of Asia’ because of the drinkin’ and fightin’ aspect.
nishi of the rails… hi-fucking-larious
“Comment by happyfeet on 5/17 @ 10:00 pm #
I’d starve without my blender I think.”
Here’s a tip: make sacrambled eggs in a blender.
Littl salt, a lttle pepper, milk, and blend.
Mmmmm, baby, they’s some fluffy eggs.
Oooh – the water thing. I’ll do it.
Happyfeet – I used to have a rice steamer, and it was kinda nice even though it’s easy to do in a pan with water. But, if Fidel Castro saw fit to give everyone in Cuba one, they can’t be that bad.
N. O’Brain – then you have to clean the blender. I’m all about using the fewest amount of things I’ll need to wash.
I am not knocking on the deliciousness of morels, but the spores-in-the-rinse-water thing freaked me out a little there.
But I just had a body-snatcher dream so that’s probably why.
Captain Hendry: “Ok Doctor, its your show….give us some idea of what we’re dealing with here.”
Dr. Carrington: “Amazing…..the hand has tissue and blood cells similar to ours….however, as you can see they’re green because they’re based on chlorophyll rather than oxygen like our own…”
Lt. Eddie Dykes: “Wait a minute Doc….Are you trying to tell us this thing is like a giant carrot?”
Dr. Carrinton: “…Well I wouldn’t necessarily say…”
Nikki: “Oh…Doctor…..look….its moving!”
(“The Thing” from another world – 1951 – Director Howard Hawks – Starring Margaret Sheridan, Kenneth Tobey, Robert Cornthwaite, James R. Young, and James Arness as the monster carrot…)
OB katta chu-ship-sheo.
#247
I’m all about using the fewest amount of things I’ll need to wash.
You know you’re middle aged when a statement like that, from a pretty woman, sets your heart all aflutter.
Better Half thinks all of you pale faces are silly if you are not using a rice cooker.
Rusty – ha!
JD – not only does a rice cooker have more parts to clean than a simple pan BUT it’s also another item, with a single purpose, that you need to store someplace. Or keep track of. I still can’t find my waffle maker since I moved. I may have thrown it away. I’m a tosser. Which, I think is a pejorative in “English.”
“Waffle maker?” Where I come from that’s called a “toaster.”
Or a “Waffle House.”
I think a tosser is the same as a poofter, you homophobe.
Has that self-annointed and self-promoting international human rights expert and tireless conspiracy theorist of the left, Scott Horton, been heard from since Rove issued his blast regarding the televised coverage of this manufactured contovery? Horton admits that he has flogged it to both CBS and MSNBC and it seems he is almost single handedly keeping it alive in spite of the paucity of evidence. I have seen nothing from him after Rove’s dismantling.
Horton, many will remember, believes it was a republican Justice Department conspiracy to turn Eliot Spitzer into a sex addict and have him patronize prostitutes. How this was accomplished is typically as vague and lacking evidence as his Simpson theories, but probably includes the presence of relevant Justices Department personnel vacationing within three contiguous states of the alleged deeds and phone records to prove it.
Gordon Ramsey — of Gordon Ramsey fame — has a scrambled egg recipe that works even better: Keep em constantly stirred over moderate heat, slowing when they start congealing too fast. Takes awhile but works perfectly.
To stop the cooking, toss in a dollop of cold crème fraîche (I use equal parts sour cream and plain yogurt) and incorporate. Lightest eggies ever. Another trick: Never season before they’re done; makes em watery.
My wife loves rice so I got a rice cooker this past winter. I love it. The pot that the rice is in is no stick and comes out and cleans up very easy. It has a timer that you can set to have the rice done when ever you need it and a steamer that can steam vegetables above the rice while it cooks. We now have rice with most every meal except breakfast. I like mine with butter and sugar, my wife likes soy sauce on hers.
So when these Korean folks have dog soup, do they drink Jack Spaniels with it?
Don’t laugh, N.O’Brain. I bet you can get that knock-off somewhere in Dysentery World.
We have heard that a half million children have died. ,