The Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (who knew) explains the sexual practices of the little brown peoples:
Throughout Indonesia, a majority of women regularly engage in a number of practices to “clean,” “dry,” “tighten,” or “deodorize” their vaginas. These practices derive from longstanding traditions designed to achieve conformity with expectations about the appearance, function, and sexual performance of the vagina. These are rooted in a widespread belief that “tight sex” or “dry sex”-vaginal intercourse without any or with minimal lubrication in the vagina-is more pleasurable for men and gender norms that require women to “please” men. . . .
Among the Javanese and Sundanese, and many other ethnic groups, a bride is prepared for the nuptials by a professional wedding dresser ( tukang pais ). There is no standard way of preparation, but jamu is typically used to reduce vaginal odors and any “excessive” secretions. Occasionally, the dresser will advise the bride to undergo a special pre-wedding beauty treatment. At a beauty salon or spa, the bride might have her vagina “smoked,” by sitting on a chair with a whole in the middle over a charcoal fire on which special herbs are placed to create a fragrant steam.
And all this time we thought “God, you make me wet” was a compliment.
Shamelessly stolen from Gail.
Smoked vagina? Delicious.
If you want it dry, I’ve heard that a couple of vaginal bong hits will usually do the job.
“dry sexâ€Â-vaginal intercourse without any or with minimal lubrication in the vagina
Ouch.
What Spies said. Ouch, indeed. That hurts just thinking about it!
I love to BBQ, but have to admit that this idea never occurred to me.
Why is deodorize in quotes?
/Shecky
How odd. Can’ they just buy Massengill?
Great. Now I’m gonna start having nightmares about pencil sharpeners.
“Do you smoke after sex?”
“I don’t know – I’ve never looked.”
I think a bit of lemon garlic aioli might work better.
Talk about killing two birds with one stone…you can smoke a couple of racks of ribs and get the missus prepped for the after-dinner party, all at once. Keeps the carbon footprint to a minimum, too. Tipper, take note!
I wonder if Weber makes a special model or attachment for that? You know, like those side burners that some grills have for corn and baked beans?
Also, where do you buy the utensils? My wife is petite, but I’m pretty sure the set of tongs I have isn’t big enough.
SBP, I think the mini down front is just the ticket. Charcoal gives that special aroma. Plus, do you know how far you have to lug a natural gas bottle for a refill on Sumatra?
[…] Just go check for yourself. […]
Hmmmm.
No matter how fucked up something is, you can find something to top it somewhere in the world.
Apparently this is true in much of Mulsim Africa as well, although they include sand…
The whole dry rub thing don’t seem right to me, but I gotta tell ya, the whole smoking that thing sounds kind of intriguing. Sop it with some BBQ sauce when its done, little corn bread on the side, that’s what I’m talkin’ bout!!!!
#6: I am with you on that.
#8-16: LMFAO!!! I can’t. Stop. Laughing.
Puts a whole new dimension on a “smokin’ hot babe,” don’t it?
[…] really have no words on this one. But the commenters over @ PW come through. Oh […]
Thank God no one made a quip about “steamed clams.”
good thing there’s no North Carolinians in the comments section today, otherwise a fight would be breaking out over chopped versus pulled, red sauce versus clear, and whether it’s better on the beach or in the mountains.
They still have a rule to avoid firecrotch, I presume.
Red snapper?
“good thing there’s no North Carolinians in the comments section ”
I tried to appropriate that joke for Virginia, but the first thing that came to ming was peanut soup and I had to stop right there.
These are rooted in a widespread belief that “tight sex†or “dry sexâ€Â-vaginal intercourse without any or with minimal lubrication in the vagina-is more pleasurable for men and gender norms that require women to “please†men. . . .
I bet the guys would think differently about that if they were catching, rather than pitching, as it were.
Maybe some hush puppies and smoked vi-jay-jay deep fried in a beer batter? Gotta believe the fresh lemon juice might irritate. Even a wasabi peanut sauce might work.
“Came to ming”
An unfortunate typo with unfortunate implications.
“beer batter” I think that’s what they do in college.
I wasn’t actually joking about the sand part, Ace had a report on that a few months back. Seriously, Saharan Africa.
Channeling happyfeet, SaraW?
And to think all this time I thought it was because of me
I cannot see sharing friction burns as being all that enjoyable.
New drink: Sex on the Dunes. Don’t know what’s in it, but it burns something awful going down.
Gotta love a tradition that makes HIV transmission more likely, probably leads to increased numbers of fistulas (look it up, if you dare,) and most certainly doesn’t feel good for the man, anyhow. All I can say is that I don’t think I’ve ever had sex with a virgin, don’t really have much interest in it, and have never ever thought “Gosh, this vagina is too damn loose for me to maintain this erection.” Plus, they tend to have a pleasant aroma as long as their owners wipe from front to back.
There is something to be said for the pleasing aroma of woodsmoke, though.
Damn.
All this time I been using the slow cooker.
Priming the poonkah.
Obama smokes. How’s that for the ne plus ultra of irony.
Oh yeah.
There is nothing better than intercourse with a dry va-jay-jay.
It’s kinda like porking a piece of 100 grit sandpaper.
Sometimes I look at my comments, and am horrified!
Butr I did like the part about “minimal odor”.
A lot of posts make me laugh here at PW.
But this one is fucking hilarious!
It’s kinda like porking a piece of 100 grit sandpaper.
These folks probably masturbate with DeWalt orbital sanders.
#41: Agrees. It is therapeutic to come from a boring 3 hour meeting and read this delightful thread.
This opens up a whole new range of foreplay.
Fireworks, anyone? Let’s go with a Roman Candle.
Get it? He’s a big pussy.
Sorry. I couldn’t wait for MayBee to spike that joke set.
I’ve heard of “the fire down below,” but this is not what came to mind.
Um, I’ve got a Boy Scout on line four, and he’s asking some very awkward questions.
Plenty of people; the group has been around for decades. Robert Rector has some highlights of their other recent work:
Playboy funded them periodically in the Sixties and Seventies.
BTW, I think I busted a gut laughing at #22. I will forward Sarah the medical bill.
#26
A light smoke. Alder is nice. Remember you just want to add a light smokey aroma, not jerk it.How do you know when it’s done? Gently taste it with your tongue, don’t burn yourself!
Smoked Vagina. That sounds slightly Jewish. Do I get any cream cheese with that? Maybe an onion bagel…
Nova c*%t!
I am sorry. That was very rude. Rusty can be such a pig.
My agent in Jakarta confirms the story excpet for a fundamental detail: there is no dry sex fetish over there; the listed treatments are meant to reduce, not zero, secretions.
The smoking is done using something very similar to incense burner, tiny fire; quite impossible to have a satisfying BBQ session with. Speaking from personal experience.
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I probably use too much cayenne in my dry rub to do this.