Pie is a fundamental human right. Discuss.
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I get the millionth digit of Pi in just over 19 seconds using Super Pi.
I own all your processors.
Rhubarb-custard.
Super Pi? You’re going to make your fortune by and by.
Mmmm. Pie.
National Pie Day – January 23rd
Created by the American Pie Council, National Pie Day is dedicated to the celebration of pie. As part of our American heritage, this day is a perfect opportunity to pass on the love and enjoyment of pie eating and pie making to future generations.
The door’s ajar, the joor adar, the jar’s adoor, an’dar joor whore wash the sea floor?
Together we’re a menace. Apart we’re nothing but lonely.
Lately I’ve been reading a lot.
That’s just pie in the sky.
Kumquat-cream pie. Eaten with a spork.
NO BLOOD FOR MINCEMEAT!!!
What about cake?
Are Hostess fruit pies actually considered pies, or are they something else entirely?
Sure, they’re marketed as pies; but they lack many distinguishing characteristics of the classic “pie” (shape, flavor) and let’s face it, marketers can and will sell you rabbit droppings as “vineyard-neutral organic raisins.”
How are we to know?
It’s a BAKE-OFF!
Dan, by “pie” you mean Girl Parts, right? If so, then yes, I would like to argue in favor of making this an inalienable right. You know, because we can manufacture those, right?
This thread is just so…..pie-sonal.
And punch. Punch and pie.
Toss in ice cream (made with real cream, plz) and I’m on board.
You’ll take my pie from my COLD DEAD HANDS!
We hold this truth to be self evident…
I hope you mean eating pie. Make mine Cherry, please.
The pie-in-the-face routine is just plain wrong. It should be legal to retaliate with a rock.
The person who took my order at McDonald’s the other day must have recognized I’m a CITIZEN JOURNALIST, because when I super-sized my meal she gave me free PIE.
She was hitting on you, McGehee.
At least that’s what I always tell my wife when I get extra fries.
There’s a lady at my regular gas station who calls me “Honey.” I tell my wife about that too. A lot.
Shesh, mark … Cherry pie? Please. As if we don’t all know what you’re saying there.
You can make this happen, Dan. It may take years, but it works.
First, stop calling it “pie.” “Pie” is stuff. Normal people don’t really think they have a “right” to stuff. You have to abstract it, get people’s minds off any actual pie, or they’ll just feel like you’re telling them to steal pie. Here’s how you do it:
Step one: Never say “pie.” Pie is just a thing, with a picture in everyone’s mind to go with it. “Dessert,” for example, is a vague invisible anyfood that people think they deserve. (And youthful conditioning has taught them that they get it or don’t at the whim of someone more powerful, and they resent that — and take pleasure in that resentment.) So just stop saying “pie,” start passively correcting people when they say “pie,” and subtly encourage them to say “dessert.”
If you meet resistance, get caught doing this weird thing with the language, just make an excuse. It doesn’t matter what it is. Invent a citation. Just say “No one says ‘pie’ anymore, you hick fuck.” No one will care what the reason is, because there’s nothing people love more than disciplining other people in front of other other people who’ll approve of that discipline. You just have to get “
piedessert” rolling. Once you do, there’ll be an anti-“pie”/pro-“dessert” cascade. Just do it. It’ll catch. Once accomplished,Step two: Get people feeling like they deserve pie not just when they want some pie, but all the time. You already have their resentment-of-dessertlessness to work with, so it’s pretty easy to do. Here’s how. You, a), as in step one, stop calling it “dessert.” Refer only to the result of dessert: say, “fullness.” But only use the word when you really mean “dessert,” by which you mean pie. Then, b), gradually, stop using the word “fullness” without a specific, repeated modifier like, say, “continuing,” so that, over the course of years, continuing fullness displaces pie as people’s conceptualization of pie, so that those pies once in their minds won’t even be pies anymore, but a sustained lack — and not even a lack-of-pie. Pie as once understood — a food people like to have sometimes — will be almost inconceivable.
You’ll know this step has worked when, whenever someone says “Remember when we used to say ‘pie’ to mean pie, not ‘continuing fullness’? What the fuck happened? ORWELL!!!111!!” everyone thinks they’re an old Bircher crank. It won’t take as long as you think. Once accomplished,
[psycho… has tired of his tiring analogy.]
But what if you don’t like pie? Can’t we make it cake or pudding? Or just make it “dessert” with a listing of what constitutes a dessert?
I’m gonna have to assume you were watching whatever I was watching last night when they talked about the “Universal Bill of Rights” or whatever it’s called, where they mentioned that paid holidays are a right (Jeopardy! maybe? I forget).
Veeshir – dammit… it’s unamerican not to like pie-ssert, you unamerican bitter hick. didnt you see Psycho’s post above? I rebuke you!
if you dont like pie-ssert, the terrorists have already won.
get your own cause
French silk pie …
But what if you don’t like pie? Can’t we make it cake or pudding?
There’s always one, isn’t there. Shesh. I mean, of all the varieties of pie, there isn’t ONE you like????
Honestly, there is no pleasing some people.
Should pecan pie be a pie? Isn’t it more of a tart?
What’s the difference?
I mean I’ll eat the damn thing either way, I’m just curious.
psycho is correct, of course, but there shouldn’t even be a debate.
Nutrition is a basic human right — both the UN and the EU agree, and of course if the bureaucrats in Brussels say something it’s Natural Law. Pie is nutritious, therefore it is a basic human right.
Make mine coconut custard, but not with all the stupid three-inch-thick meringue. Overdoing the meringue is a typical capitalist plot to provide the Proletariat with empty satisfaction by delivering air in the guise of pie.
Regards,
Ric
I dunno. The last pecan pie I had was a bit of a bimbo, but I don’t think I’d go so far as to call it a tart.
Its name was Pecans Galore…
Veeshir,
It’s for people just like you that God created the Boston Cream Pie. Any way you look at it, it’s cake. But it’s so ingrained in the culture as pie, that if you’d say “Boston Cream Cake”, others would look at you and ask, “Don’t you mean Pie? And you could reply with a wry smile, “Yes. Yes, I do.” Then you could have your Pie, and eat it, too.
There was a time in this country that our great white landowning forefathers pretty much ate all the pie.. Sure, non-land owner white males got a tiny slice .. but blacks, women and of course American Indians.. didnt even get the crumbs left in the pie tin..
Now it’s 2008 and they all want their pie and think I (we white guys) owe it to them… I got news for everyone.. I dont even have any pie.. much less know how to make one from scratch.. Get over it.. W’ere all in the same boat and Microsoft, Halliburton, Boeing and their kin are the new Marie Calander’s and they aint sharin’..
Pie is a basic food group.
In the 1800’s in New England, pie was a breakfast food.
Pop-tarts…toaster pie?
Pie is god for you. You need pie. You’ll have pie and you’ll like it.
Overdoing the meringue is a typical capitalist plot to provide the Proletariat with empty satisfaction by delivering air in the guise of pie.
My grandfather used to make fun of us kids eating cheese puffs, he called it “cheese flavored air”.
When America’s chickens come home to roost I will post a recipe for chicken pot pie.
Pie is a human right. But some people have too much pie, while others have no pie.
Can we redistribute the pie? YES WE CAN!
Shorter Veeshir: “Fie on pie.”
;-)
I disagree. Jerky is a basic human right, and should be free by the bushel full.
Unfortunately, some people must be hard of hearing, because instead of “unalienable right to beef jerky” they hear, “unalienable right to BE jerky.”
Jeez, I guess I picked the wrong place to dis pie.
bergerbuilder, spot on. For years that was the only “pie” I would eat.
I’ve always been of the opinion (to steal a Simpsons joke) that fruits and vegetables are just empty vitamins.
Soda pop pies could solve world thirst.
Yes, we all despise those who dis pies.
What about cake?
The cake is a lie.
I want tart pie. Its my fave.
Consider this my DEMAND!
Tom Friedman begs to differ with the entire premise of this thread.
America’s a dandy place;
The people are all brothers;
And when one gets a pumpkin pye,
He shares it with the others.
From Thomas Jefferson’s scrapbook, Alderman Library UVA
Pursuit of pie is pursuit of happiness, ergo pie is happiness, the pursuit of which is a right, endowed by The Creator. I just want one slice, and the one next to mine.
After you get a piece of the pie, the beans will never burn on the grill … So pie is a fundamental human right and good for the environment!
But sometimes I kind of want fish to fry in the kitchen. Sometimes I like a bit of fried fish.
Do I have to give up fried fish once I’ve had pie? I want it all, dammit!