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More Facebook Follies, Reverse Chronological Order [Dan Collins]

You sent a notification to Glenn Greenwald:

8:43am

Dan Collins now owns you as a pet! You were bought for $571, earning you $30 in profit. Click here to see your profile, or click here to see your new owner’s profile.

Glenn Greenwald accepted your friend request.

6:52am

Glenn is new on Facebook. To welcome them:

Suggest friends that Glenn may know

Write on their wall

Send them a message

Note that Facebook realizes they are plural.

22 Replies to “More Facebook Follies, Reverse Chronological Order [Dan Collins]”

  1. McGehee says:

    Suggest friends that Glenn may know

    Hilarity must ensue.

  2. Karl says:

    I’ve heard of people having pet snakes and ferrets, but this?

  3. Dan Collins says:

    Look: I buy one and I get a whole laundry basket full!

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Cabana sold separately.

  5. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – If they didn’t throw in the single heavy eye brow, 45 degree angle mustache, broken microphone, and out of tune banjo with the argyle socks you got, they ripped you off. Also there should be an autographed book in there somewhere with Schumers john doe on it.

    – Maybe you should make a check list, just for accuracy sake.

  6. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Oh…..Almost forgot – The “Downtown Damascas in flames” shopped photo….and it should also come with the own Glenn(s) ace AP war correspondent sock….

  7. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Look: I buy one and I get a whole laundry basket full!\

    Yeah, I hear those are even worse than rabbits or guppies.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    Let’s leave the gluppies out of this.

  9. JD says:

    Why in the world would anyone want to buy a gleeens? I would sooner purchase a severe case of untreated syphillis than to have to listen to the nasally whining of that lying crapweasel, and her pathetic jocksniifer, Mona.

  10. Dan Collins says:

    Actually, the idea is to sell them to Mona for a much inflated price.

  11. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Well, better a gluppy than a duppy.

  12. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Hm. That could work.

  13. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Selling for a profit, I mean. Profiteering off of Gleen(s) would be kinda funny.

  14. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Profiteering off of Gleen(s) would be kinda funny.

    Careful — remember what happened to Cyrano Jones in The Trouble With Tribbles.

  15. Merovign says:

    “Dear Gleens; Dan Collins now owns you as a pet!”

    One of my new favorite moments on teh intertubes.

  16. Sarah atWp says:

    Where do you get that crazee facebook money?
    And yes, I think you could get a fine return on Glenn selling him off in pieces.

  17. McGehee says:

    Let’s leave the gluppies out of this.

    Especially the glibby gloop gluppies.

  18. JD says:

    It is totally homophobic to think that you could even e-purchase the gleeens.

  19. mojo says:

    “Friend for sale”?

    What the fuck kinda sick shit it THAT?

  20. Harry says:

    Online shopping is now a easy way of buying anything which they want by using the internet.so people want to know more about this.

  21. Christopher says:

    It’s so good!
    but why i can’t find my earier comment?
    -Christopher

Comments are closed.