TV with a conscience: Good Morning America — goaded on by a handful of breathless yentas with no scientific training and far too much time on their hands — declares war on “The Sippy Cup” and the “sweetened liquid” inside it. The new war is being declared on behalf of the children (natch), who find themselves placed in harm’s way — baby tooth decay is this month’s evil — as a result of these insidious beverage containers.

In the two-minute piece, the phrase “sweetened liquid” and the name “Sippy Cup” were each repeated, like, eight-thousand times — often shouted over the squeals and giggles of the dozen, Sippy Cup-clasping toddlers GMA had on the set (a teevee staple, this: stories about children require children as backdrops, just as stories about hurricanes and blizzards for some odd reason require sad-sack weathermen to stand outside to be pummeled by the raging elements).

Aren’t there enough real battles to be fought these days, ladies? I mean, won’t the worrisome baby teeth you’re kvetching about just fall out anyway…?

Christ. Gag me with a honey-dipped nipple…