People who have more than two alcoholic drinks a day develop Alzheimer’s disease five years earlier than those who do not drink, a comprehensive study linking the condition to lifestyle has found.
Those who smoke are affected by the illness two years earlier than non-smokers, while those who smoke and drink are likely to hasten the onset of the disease by seven years.
What?
Well, maybe. I heard today that men who masturbate at least 5 times a week have a much lesser chance of getting other types of cancer. So you got that going for you.
I call bullshit. My grandfather just turned 90 and he was a 1950’s style entertainer every night. he could probably out drink me in his mid 80s when he gave up the sauce. I still call him when I have trouble with my taxes. So I’ll go ahead and call bullshit on this as a sole factor.
I don’t think this applies to the Irish.
I forget what I was going to say.
If I’m reading these charts correctly, you have more of a chance of dying from “Malignant neoplasms of genital organs” than from Alzheimer’s.
In either case, use it or lose it, I suppose.
On the bright side, I’ll enjoy myself now and won’t remember why I was supposed be miserable earlier in life…
Hey, Alzheimer’s is only hard on the caretakers: the afflicted, after a bit, are blissfully unaware of what they’re unaware of.
Or so I’m told.
Especially if they stay shitfaced.
P. J. O’Rourke said that yes, giving up smoking, drinking, and fatty food would add years to his life. Trouble is, it would add them to the wrong end.
Harry Truman is a great president. That’s what’s this is really about it, isn’t it? Screw it, I’m going to Cuba this weekend.
I’m pretty much screwed.
Then again, maybe not.
Living long enough to develop dementia from drinking and smoking just means you weren’t drinking and smoking nearly enough.
I’m pretty much screwed.
I don’t remember being screwed. Maybe it’s because I was too drunk.
MayBee is great.
I am pretty sure I died a while back, but was too drunk too notice. Or, early alcohol and nicotine induced onset. Either way …
JD- xoxox.
so datadave was on to something with that triplet thing? don’t try to deny it you two.
maggie – you caught me. Don’t tell my better half, or MayBee for that matter ;-)
Hay, Pal! Good to see you again!
How’ya doin’?
Can I fix you a drink? Whata’ya havin’?
Hey, pal, while I’m fixin’ your drink, can you light me a cig?
Here ya’ go — and thanks!
Whatd’dya say your name was?
– I’m telling you straight out, and you heard it here first. That Cambodian asshole Kerry, and his ketchup slut boozer wife, are going to get their asses kicked by Bush come this fall, and I don’t give a damn what Dan Mapes and Mary Rather say……???….Wut?
– You know Dan. I’ve been watching the Medicals for decades, with a constant stream of “causes” almost weekly. At this point if the list was anywhere near accurate it would prove we are all born with Alzheimer’s.
oh my God! Where did these triplets come from?
the triplet fairy….
*whistles while innocently looking around*
– “oh my God! Where did these triplets come from?”
– I don’t know. But it will be interesting to see how you divvy up nipple time.
I don’t know. But it will be interesting to see how you divvy up nipple time.
I’ve hired datadave as a wetnurse.
– “I’ve hired datadave as a wetnurse.”
– That will definitely mean adding a NannyCam to the nursery, and a 300 lb ex-Marine Nanny for him, just to be safe.
TomH
Comment by TomH on 4/16 @ 8:57 pm #
Harry Truman is a great president. That’s what’s this is really about it, isn’t it? Screw it, I’m going to Cuba this weekend.
Ummm… Didn’t you mean to say that harry Thomaston was a good president? Or was it Dennis Kucinich? Or…hmmmm.
I’m pretty sure I was 27 about three months ago. It is 1975, isn’t it?
Relax, Dan! Just be sure that the morning after a night of drinking and smoking, you drink lots of coffee. In fact, drink lots of coffee every day! It will protect you from Alzheimer’s, among other benefits:
OK, here’s the link I inserted in comment #27 that got stripped out:
http://rgcombs.blog-city.com/coffee_for_health.htm
I would like to live long enough to become a burden to my children…I figure I owe them that.
– Recent studies have also shown that cancer is hereditary in rats, so I guess that means we’ll all have to reset our Protoscopes on stun.
When I was nineteen I was clerking in the operations shop of an artillery battalion on Okinawa. This was back in the day – an ashtray on every table, personal coffee mugs, and if you could remember Friday and Saturday night you were doing something wrong. Monday morning PT smelled like a burning whiskey distillery.
One day on AFN radio, they read a story where they correlated alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine use to lifespan.
According to their figures, we all died sometime in our freshman year of high school.
I’m pretty sure I died sometime during college.
Brrrrrrraaaaaainnnnssss.
Congratulations, ironpacker!
Dan, Dan, Two Drinks? Which two drinks?
beers? wine? EverClear?
Voluntary Alzheimer’s is why we drink!!! Your source also has the Tree Man who’d probably like you to buy him a drink but being in Muslim Indonesia that might be a problem.
May Bee, you have to pay for me to “e** me” or “su*8 m!”?? Oh, my. WET NURSERY is a Sexist profession!
Now do you pay employment taxes? Workman’s comp?
(I still remember my Pink School teacher from Tokyo saying ‘one knee, two knee, wee knee’ ….when i forget that I’ll know it’s Al’s Hammer time.)
Thank g-d I’m saved.
Is more than 12 cups a day considered moderate, ’cause that was about my consumption when I developed diabetes.
#6 interesting chart, thx.
non drinkers…eat your heart out! I’ve heard moderate drinking moderates heart disease… a massively more likely deadly outcome for most of us.
Flu and Pneumonia are up there too. My father’s second wife has Alzheimer’s so now he can date now w/o getting a divorce. It’s sad anyway. He’s got so many girls to choose from at the assisted living place he’s at.
I’m hoping that my behavior ala comment #2 will cancell out the smoking and drinking.
Bwaaa Hahahahaha!
In the comment list it says “Jack on Shit.”
And in the BIG PICTURE: Those that dont drink or smoke or eat fast food… that excercise daily and watch their weight and cholesterol.. don’t do drugs or screw prostitutes.. or drive recklessly or own a gun or skydive… or walk at night in the bad part of town..
Still die…
Well I pretty much fit the rice pudding life profile…and am hanta-virus resistant. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
Did you hear about the Enterocept injections in the spinal chord at the base of the brain, recently tested in Alzheimers patients? Early diagnosis and tx with E. shows promise of halting progression of disease, add back those lost weekends.
Well, I’ve spent the last 5 years on a serious health kick. I work out like a feind, eat nothing but real food, drink moderately (only on my “cheat” days) and try and get enough sleep. I even floss after every meal. I started doing this because I wanted to be healthy, look good for the wife and keep up with my kids.
The other day I had a blood test done and evidently my cholesterol is so high I could be used as an Easter candle and I have the life expectancy of a Hatian pimp. I had back surgery that I’m just getting over, and will probably limp for the rest of my life. And thanks to the injury, job loss, job gain and basic stress, I’m in the middle of the male version of post-partum depression.
So hopefully my massive heart attack will occur before I end up totally paralyzed or shoot myself, but if it doesn’t I can always look forward to cancer or Alzheimer’s. And if none of that happens, then I can live out my dotage is some kind of old-age home that medicare pays for, since I know that I’ll have to hock everything I own to keep my four boys in college and out of prison. But maybe they’ll buy me a Hoverround from the scooter store, so when I wander out into the cold to get away from the sadistic “caregivers” I’ll be able to make it at least as far as the tree line or maybe even the railroad tracks before I die of hypothermia and get eaten by racoons.
LMC:
That just cracks me up. “Easter Candle” … Bwaaa Hahahaha!!
It’s true. My blood type came back “butter”.
LMC – the oatmeal trick might not be sufficient to stop you being universal blood donor to Paula Deen, but 1 or two servings of oat bran a day sponges up blood goo with noticeable effect.
I’d rather drink but can’t get oxidation with it. So I’ve started taking resveratrol and foods with saponins to get some of the good stuff in red wine. The former slows of cholesterol, the other blocks its absorption.
I’d rather drink but can’t GET AWAY WITH IT. I pasted “oxidation” over that, which is exhibit A of why being tipsy would not be an aid to my daily existence.
Sarah,
I’m thinking of going the statin route. If I’m lucky up I might be able to make sure I get in the first round of class-action settlement. Plus I’ll be able to complain abot prescription drug prices when I’m interviewed on the evening news. I just haven’t figured out who I’m going to blame them on, the drug companies, FDA or the Bush administration. Maybe the mayor?
I dunno, my rant is a work in progress. Something like, “Obesity is an epidemic in this country and the Bush administration is doing nothing about it except cater to the drug companies who work with the FDA to release dangerous drugs that cost too much, so the working class have to fly to Canada to buy the cholesterol drugs we need to survive at a price we can afford, and now that Gas prices are so high and Bush has let all the airlines merge or go out of business because of the weak dollar we had to stop paying our interest-only mortgage and might lose our house and have to live in our new hybrid Suburban wich would run on ethanol if only the government really cared about climate change and I’ll be damned if I have to give up digital cable for netflix when the bankers get off scott free.
very funny, maddad!
thank you for making us smile!