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You Don't Say! [Dan Collins]

My stars! Well, I never!

Nuclear attack on D.C. a hypothetical disaster

39 Replies to “You Don't Say! [Dan Collins]”

  1. dorkafork says:

    Notice the headline isn’t Hypothetical Nuclear attack on D.C. a hypothetical disaster. Is it really implied? Discuss.

  2. JD says:

    Dorkafork – Have not seen your name in a while. Good stuff.

    Hypothetically, the disaster quotient would be directly related to whether or not GiGi, Mona and their entourage (read 6 Brazilian sock puppet cabana boys) were in town. Hypothetically.

  3. Jeffersonian says:

    After destroying DC, wouldn’t we have to wait to see if the perpetrators’ intentions turned out to be hostile?

  4. mojo says:

    “Women and Parasites Hardest Hit. Hypothetically.”

  5. happyfeet says:

    I bet they’ll let us go home early that day, and if they detonate before noon EST I bet we can just call in, cause you know Manhattan would empty out, and that’s where like a lot of people’s corporate HQs are. Beyond that, that sort of thing puts a real damper on the hypothetical marketing environment and most of the tv channels will probably run without commercials for like that whole day anyway.

  6. JD says:

    happyfeet – that was great.

  7. TomH says:

    Whatever, climate change will make DC unlivable long before this hypothetical event happens. There will be a glacier on the Potomic and a desert on top of that.

  8. N. O'Brain says:

    Way OT, but this is great, a thank you letter from Australia, via Blackfive:

    http://www.blackfive.net/main/2008/04/via-corporal-se.html

    Think of it as a palate cleanser after a dose of nishi.

  9. N. O'Brain says:

    [via via Ace]

  10. harrison says:

    That’s why I live to the west of the District.

  11. Ardsgaine says:

    After destroying DC, wouldn’t we have to wait to see if the perpetrators’ intentions turned out to be hostile?

    I think it would be safe to assume that their intent was benevolent.

    If it were Muncie, though…

  12. happyfeet says:

    Hypothetically is how cars work apparently…

    Miller said consumers’ frustration is growing as gas prices rise, and automakers need to cut through the clutter that consumers are hearing about various technologies. He added that consumers need a lot of education, since most don’t even realize that their vehicles are powered by an internal combustion engine.*

    God help us.

  13. Ardsgaine says:

    I find their ignorance of economics far more scary.

    The government also needs to consider more tax credits for fuel-efficient vehicles, carbon taxes to penalize gas-guzzlers, and mandates to promote cleaner fuels such as ethanol, which are some of the approaches that have successfully changed consumers’ driving habits in Europe, according to Scott Bailey, vice president of powertrain systems at auto supplier Delphi Corp.

    Basically, they want to find a solution for a non-existent problem, and then use government coercion to ram it down the consumer’s throat.

  14. TmjUtah says:

    I think the news of the New York Time’s news room layoffs stunned a few copy editors.

    The guy who signed off on this one obviously wasn’t having a Pulitzer day.

  15. Dan Collins says:

    Um, that’s The Washington Times, Tmj

  16. Dan Collins says:

    Hahaha! Mine is impelled by fire demons, hf.

  17. Merovign says:

    A journalist ignorant of economics?

    The deuce you say!

  18. Ric Locke says:

    Well, I do see the need for the word.

    Given the reader demographic the newspapers are after these days, if they’d left out “hypothetical” or put the word in a subhead, there’d be twenty dead on the Key Bridge alone from the fleeing refugees.

    Regards,
    Ric

  19. I can’t even read headlines these days; it hurts too much. The grammar is poor, and no one checks on the double meanings of words (nouns that can be verbs, and vice versa), so sometimes one has to read them over several times to suss out what the heck was even meant.

    Too painful. Too much work.

  20. Cowboy says:

    If it were Muncie, though…

    …careful, Ardsgaine.

    Actually, at the present rate of population loss, it might be several days before anyone noticed.

    Hypothetically, that is.

  21. TmjUtah says:

    Um, that’s The Washington Times, Tmj

    I know. I was just figuring that among journos (even as far removed from the NY Times as is the Wash Times) it’s probably like Obi Wan Kenobi:

    “I felt a great disturbance in the force…”

    Some editors will spill their zin. Others… write funny headlines.

    May the farce be with you. We are outta here for Cali and cannon shooting.

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