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Day's Best Headline, Already? [Dan Collins]

Boyfriend of Ugg boot train death woman charged

I  think that’s going to be hard to beat.  I’d love to hear “The Ballad of Boyfriend of Ugg Boot Train Death Woman” performed.

Never mind.

L.A. City Council rejects ‘ban’ on homicides (h/t Taranto)

31 Replies to “Day's Best Headline, Already? [Dan Collins]”

  1. S. Weasel says:

    That’s a common construction in British newspaper headlines, and I’ve always found it jarring. Icepick In Skull Girl. Foreign Object Man. I’ve said it before: they’re like really, really bad superheroes.

    What makes that item extra bizarre is they don’t say why the boyfriend’s being charged. I know the British press is restrictive about these things, but all we know about him is that he’s her boyfriend. Was he driving the train that hit her, or what?

  2. Dan Collins says:

    SW–

    Yes, yes he was. And he didn’t even attempt to swerve!

  3. Carin says:

    That was bizarre. My only guess is that he’s being charged because he failed to attempt to save her.

  4. Jeffersonian says:

    What’s Arlo Guthrie been doing lately?

  5. Maybe he bought her the boots on purpose?

  6. Dan Collins says:

    What would make you suspect that, Sarah? Or should I call you Wellieson?

  7. SarahW says:

    Oh, is this why?

    instead of getting out of the way of the train she tried to follow her boyfriend to the other side of the tracks.

    Mr Smith, 18, said he went through the barriers and when he saw the woman had her foot stuck he grabbed her hand and she managed to free her foot.

    “I had her in my arms. She was safe. But her boyfriend screamed at her to get to the other side,” he said.

    “I said ‘Stay on this side’ but he told her ‘This is my train, I’ve got to be on this side of the track’.

    At this point, Mr Smith said the train was only about 25 feet away but the driver did not have a chance to stop.

    “She just curled up in a ball and her boyfriend jumped out of the way,” he said.”

  8. SarahW says:

    I’m having some difficulty with sticky names. MURDERER!

  9. Pablo says:

    That is strange. He’s being held without bail, and netted himself a broken leg in the deal. They must know something they’re not saying.

    Last week it was reported that Miss Mack’s foot had become trapped on the track.

    But police no longer believe that was the case, sources said.

    So maybe she’s just “train death woman” after all.

  10. The Way Lost Dog says:

    It has to be SOMEBODY’S fault, and she’s dead, right? Accidents DO NOT happen in the world of Proggs, because they run your life from cradle to grave, and are materially and spiritually unassailable. Accidents do not exist, they are only a construct of the fascist right.

    So. You have questions? Maybe YOU were involved in this woman’s death, prole. Have you ever been near a RR crossing, worm?

    I think the Brit’s are just practicing for an Obama presidency.

    UGH! (or should I say “UGG”?)

  11. Dan Collins says:

    Austin: She looks like she was hit with the UGGly stick.
    Vanessa: Yes.
    Austin: Somebody should have sUGGested that she get off the tracks.
    Vanessa: That’s true.
    Austin: She should have been more UGGressive about getting away.
    Vanessa: That’s quite enough, Austin.

  12. Bender Bending Rodriguez says:

    Police Constable: So you think there was foul play?
    Horatio Caine (kneeling, examining body): I think that maybe… her boyfriend… (stands) was trying… to give her (puts on sunglasses)…the boot. [Walks out of frame]
    Roger Daltrey: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  13. Jeffersonian says:

    I was drunk
    The day my girlfriend
    Bought them Ugg booooots.
    So we went
    For a run
    In the raaaaain.
    But afore we was able to cross them railroad tracks
    She got runned over by a danged ol’ traaaaain.

  14. The Way Lost Dog says:

    A little OT, but is that really an ad for George Michael that I see on PW? Doing his new hit, “Push my head down (I’ll eat the urinal cake while you do me)”?

    Wow. It really is a different world, and I am becoming more “Menkenish” every day.

  15. Dan Collins says:

    BBR–Okay, but mightn’t it be cheaper to use Howard Dean?

  16. SarahW says:

    That, rather article does seem to support the idea british authorities are after him for unlawful “beckoning.”

  17. Dan Collins says:

    Jeffersonian: Excellent. Really does capture the essence of ballad. But what about Santana?

    She’s Ugg Boot Train Death Woman,
    Dead Ugg Boot Train Death Woman,
    She’s an ex-Ugg Boot Woman,
    Killed in-de-cis-iv-e-ly . . .
    Poor Ugg Boot Train Death Woman
    Terminated instantaneously.

  18. Jeffersonian says:

    Needs more cowbell, Dan.

  19. Pablo says:

    That, rather article does seem to support the idea british authorities are after him for unlawful “beckoning.”

    That’s an interesting view of manslaughter. Because of the Patriarchy?

  20. mojo says:

    Set to the tune of “The Ballad of Jayne Cobb”?…

  21. happyfeet says:

    You just got home. Your otter is covered in slime.

  22. TaiChiWawa says:

    Justice demands he be railroaded.

  23. Dan Collins says:

    I think ELO’s “Evil Woman” might be used, too, in a pinch.

  24. Dan Collins says:

    Someone left her boot under the train!

  25. cranky-d says:

    I think you mean “Medieval Woman,” Dan.

    That’s a callback, folks. To something I wrote a few weeks ago. Thank you, and try the veal.

  26. Dan Collins says:

    Thanks, cranks . . . I’m sure that’s why it was in my head.

  27. cranky-d says:

    But you’re right about it fitting in.

    “Booot train death woman, boot train death woman,
    Boot train death woman, booo ooo ooot train death woman.”

  28. bergerbilder says:

    Perhaps her boyfreind had that “come hither” look, and she came hather. Mel Gibson will make a movie about it. I like the title “Chicken Heart”, and Bill Cosby could make a cameo with his brother Russel, who he slept with.

  29. bergerbilder says:

    Or maybe “Das Boot”. Already taken? How about “DOS Re-Boot”. How about I shut up now.

  30. mojo says:

    “Ugg Boot Train Death Woman”

    Band name. Seriously.

Comments are closed.