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Too Hard Hitting [Dan Collins]

Schools in areas feared to have high rates of forced marriage are refusing to display posters on the issue because they are too hard-hitting, according to a government report.

Headteachers are unwilling to put up the posters for fear that they might offend some parents. The disclosure came in findings from the Department for Children, Schools and Families showing that 2,089 pupils were absent from school without explanation in 14 areas of England believed to have a high incidence of forced marriage.

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Schools across Britain have been ordered by local authorities to abandon the ancient tradition of serving hot cross buns at Easter so as not to offend children of non-Christian faiths.

Some councils are refusing to hand out the traditional treats because they fear that the symbol of the cross will spark complaints from Jewish, Hindu and Muslim pupils or their families.

Such enlightened people.

14 Replies to “Too Hard Hitting [Dan Collins]”

  1. Techie says:

    Somewhere, Richard the Lionheart is weeping.

  2. Rob Crawford says:

    If hot cross buns offend them, they need to turn them 45 degrees. Then they’re “hot X buns”. OK, so that sounds kinda offensive in a “adult feature” kind of way, but that’s a completely different type of offensive, right?

  3. daleyrocks says:

    Headteachers – That’s pretty progressive right there. I don’t care what else you say. In the U.S. I haven’t heard about any school classes in oral sex unless California has started them up and we haven’t heard about them yet.

  4. Cowboy says:

    …anyone want to speculate on how many Jews or Hindis were offended by bread?

  5. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    What about the Wiccans, Zoroastrians, and Buddhists? Don’t they have the right to be offended too?

    RACISTS!

  6. cranky-d says:

    To echo Cowboy, I have not seen any Jews or Hindis who complain about this kind of thing. I don’t know why they cannot just be honest and declare Islam their official state religion and be done with it.

  7. bergerbilder says:

    Don’t forget the Climatechangeologists and the Environmentalologists. These religions deserve to be offended, too.

  8. TmjUtah says:

    Darkness falls.

  9. Cowboy says:

    …hot crossed buns?

    HOMOPHOBE!!!!

  10. Jeffersonian says:

    I’m fearful we’re not surrendering fast enough. Please don’t bomb us.

  11. PCachu says:

    The bonus advantage of the 45-degree turn is they become Hot Theocon-Hatin’ Buns, thus granting our resident lolcat some of that desperately-craved validation.

  12. lee says:

    PCachu @ #11

    Thats sum fnny shit rite ther.

    I dnt care who u r.

  13. SDN says:

    Sorry, guys, turning the cross into an X would simply be the St Andrews cross… no escape, infidel.

    Of course, there’s 2 St Andrews and one regular cross on the Union Jack. I wonder if the flag redesign committee has met yet?

  14. McGehee says:

    And of course it’s the St. Andrews cross on the rebel flag that everyone goes ballistic over here in the southeastern U.S.

Comments are closed.