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Top 9 rejected Barack Obama campaign slogans / candy bar ideas

  1. “I feel your pain. You fucking White Devils.”
  2. “The US is from Mars, the UN is from Venus!”
  3. (tie) “Election 2008: Help a Bruthah out?” / Almond Rapture
  4. (tie) Mounds. Caused by the remains of 600,000 innocent Iraqis slaughtered by our troops and left to lie stinking in the earth / Hopeitude and Nuttiness Crunch
  5. “Pain is just weakness leaving the public sector”
  6. Authentic Chocolate Bar. No, Really. I’m Being Serious
  7. “Freedom’s just another word for ‘outmoded and selfish individualism foisted on us by a bunch of dead white males, the majority of whom owned slaves and treated their women as objects.’ Oh, and also ‘nothing left to lose.'”
  8. 100,000 Dollar Rezko Bar
  9. (tie) Blow! / “Remember: You can’t say USA without you, ese!

106 Replies to “Top 9 rejected Barack Obama campaign slogans / candy bar ideas”

  1. CelticDragon says:

    They all need more Hopeiness and Changitude, or is it Changiness and Hopeitude? I can never remember.

    But they do need more cowbell, always needs more cowbell!

  2. nishizonoshinji says:

    hehe
    O is ur muse.

  3. RDub says:

    Speaking of Hope – the Rockies just re-signed Brad Hawpe (3 years, I believe).

  4. Carin says:

    The Whatchamacallit of Hope! Now with EXTRA chewy nuggat!

  5. Carin says:

    Why does nishi gotta go and ruin it for me?

  6. SGT Ted says:

    Obama ’08: Hook a Brutha up!

  7. nishizonoshinji says:

    aww carin, im an equal opportunity griefer.
    ;)

  8. happyfeet says:

    For every generation, there is a gap. Obama. Now in khaki.

  9. happyfeet says:

    Featuring cotton separates by Mi’chelle.

  10. CelticDragon says:

    A-muse nishi, amuse, as in “Obama, his attempts to cover his leftism sure are amusing.”

  11. Jeff G. says:

    I almost went with, “Yo! Blow!” But then I’d have to apologize, and I’m too busy today working on not having to apologize to apologize.

  12. Belvedere jones says:

    Big League Eschew – now with no trace of terrorist affiliation.

  13. Jeff G. says:

    Mounds. Caused by the slaughter of 600,000 innocent Iraqis.

  14. Karl says:

    100,000 Dollar Rezko Bar… and change!

  15. happyfeet says:

    Candy on the beach, there’s nothing better but I like candy when it’s wrapped in an insouciant nonchalance about genocide and change you can believe in and also the abolishment of fissile material.

  16. nishizonoshinji says:

    pffft
    u nevah apolo Goldstein.

  17. kelly says:

    Kit Kat/Abu Ghraib.

  18. kelly says:

    Snickers/Bush’s education.

  19. kelly says:

    Three Muskateers/White Patriarchy!

  20. mojo says:

    O! To have a muse of fire!
    — Henry V

  21. Al Maviva says:

    Obama ’08: Unlike Bush He’ll Never Go To War. No Matter What.

    Obama ’08: There There. I’ll Give You Huggy-Wuggies, Snookums.

  22. nishizonoshinji says:

    carin, i usta bedevil greenwald and mona/hypatia in my speaker-to-animals incarnation.
    im drawn to the stupid, wat cant i say.
    after a while, my attention span fades and i move on.

    im a griefer.

  23. Carin says:

    So … that is your attraction to Obama? Is your attention gonna fade before November?

  24. Slartibartfast says:

    im a griefer

    Ah, that explains much. I didn’t think anyone could be that annoying by accident.

    See also: alfie, timmyb/neoconssuck.

  25. mojo says:

    “…and you can believe me, because I never lie and I’m always right!”
    — Firesign Theatre

  26. nishizonoshinji says:

    “…we’re all bozos on this bus.”
    – Firesign Theatre

  27. Drumwaster says:

    im drawn to the stupid

    Birds of a feather, eh? This explains much.

  28. nishizonoshinji says:

    /sigh

    once again i have reduced u to namecallin.
    that is the Griefer First Obligation u kno.
    :)

  29. B Moe says:

    This is a full PvP blog, nishi. You can’t grief here.

  30. nishizonoshinji says:

    hehe
    just try me.

  31. maybe, Dark Milk Chocolate with banana

  32. BJTexs says:

    ohhhhhhhhhh, maggie! I see a ten week sentence to the class “Diversity Today! Why Not You?”

    White devil!

  33. Pablo says:

    What? Obama is a nigger!?! Why didn’t anyone tell me?

    That settles it. I’m gonna go vote for Hillary.

  34. but, BJTexs, I voted democratic today, so I figure I have some immunity. (can’t believe I’m admitting that, now I just have to drink enough to convince myself to go back for the evening convention….)

  35. Pablo says:

    This is a full PvP blog, nishi. You can’t grief here.

    True dat.

    hehe
    just try me.

    You either taking fire or being ignored, hon. But it’s nice of you to try.

  36. sashal says:

    10.”Rezko is the name of the Ukrainian borsch my mamma used to cook, and I am not familiar with individual who happened to have the same name.
    Last question, please”

  37. nishizonoshinji says:

    duh, pablo i have 76000 health and 95000 mana regen.
    u cant touch me.

  38. cranky-d says:

    That isn’t a campaign slogan or a candy bar. Get with the program!

  39. BJTexs says:

    Sashal: Well done. (heh)

  40. nishizonoshinji says:

    and thats hunnie to u pablo.

  41. Pablo says:

    You know that shit doesn’t count here, nishi. Tell me you’ve got a BFH and a correct, snappy answer and you’ll be in the game for reals.

    Turns out Hillary fooled me out of my vote with Faux Obama blackness. That little minx. I suppose that’s what I get for spending 7 minutes of my day as a Democrat.

  42. JD says:

    Racist sexist homophobic war mongers !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  43. nishizonoshinji says:

    hehe
    i dont pablo.
    but i do have lei of the lifegiver.
    may E’lune light ur path.

  44. Belvedere jones says:

    >>duh, pablo i have 76000 health and 95000 mana regen.
    u cant touch me.

  45. Pablo says:

    How many life points do you suppose this fucker had?

  46. Belvedere jones says:

    whoopsie — dunno what happened.

    >>duh, pablo i have 76000 health and 95000 mana regen.
    u cant touch me.

  47. Belvedere jones says:

    I give up.

  48. nishizonoshinji says:

    How many life points do you suppose this fucker had?
    not enuff?

  49. nishizonoshinji says:

    belvedere: I give up.

    so shud u all.

  50. Jeff G. says:

    That’s not white on the inside. It’s nougat.

  51. nishizonoshinji says:

    yumm!

  52. daleyrocks says:

    nishi – Try dating, it might help. Some men don’t mind small tits.

  53. thor says:

    Comment by Pablo on 3/4 @ 2:36 pm #

    What? Obama is a nigger!?! Why didn’t anyone tell me?

    That settles it. I’m gonna go vote for Hillary.

    Slow down. Hillary is a jilted lesbian. She looks like she might have a touch of Injun squaw in her too. And you do know her legal middle name is Raul, don’t you?

  54. MC says:

    Pablo @33 – Hey, I spewed all over the keyboard! ‘Least give us a spew alert dude!

  55. MC says:

    Nanny-state Payday

  56. Belvedere jones says:

    belvedere: I give up. so shud u all.

    heh My pointy was going to be that “duh, pablo i have 76000 health and 95000 mana regen. u cant touch me” is, contrary to cranky-d’s pronouncement, very much the campaign slogan.

  57. Gigiddoni says:

    Far be it from me to criticise something that made me spew root beer all over my laptop, but being the grammar Nazi that I am… if you’re going for the Spanish word, it’s spelled “ese”. Porque cuando se deletrea en el espanol no se usa el doble ‘s’.

  58. cranky-d says:

    56:

    I was referring to the post before that one, which was numbered and all as being in the list. I agree that “u cant touch me” is the O-meisters slogan.

  59. cranky-d says:

    Campaign them song: “Can’t Touch This.” It’s from the early 80s but since O’s philosophy is Carter redux, the song isn’t dated in comparison.

  60. Swen Swenson says:

    im a griefer.

    More of a lamer I’d guess.

  61. You will melt in my mouth. and hands.

  62. PCachu says:

    nishi may have munchkinned her stats, but she is powerless before my TRAP CARD!!

    …yeah, I got nothin’.

  63. B Moe says:

    How many life points do you suppose this fucker had?
    not enuff?

    Anybody hear what he dropped?

  64. Ernie G says:

    “U can has hopeburger now!”

  65. Jeff G. says:

    Seems uber leftist Rick Perlstein didn’t much care for my post. He links from “Ourfuture.org” and notes that I’m yet another conservative who only cares about Obama’s race.

    Translation, for those of you who don’t readily decode Village Voice speak: “Goldstein doesn’t use Obama’s ‘race’ properly — to cut of debate and reduce every criticism leveled at the New Messiah the product of secret hatreds toward the darkies and a genuine fear of ‘change’. Which, you know, the particulars of which we’ll fill in as we go, and as the need arises.”

    I tire of these kinds of political activists, with their incestual working relationships and their echochambers and their strawman attacks. Perlstein has found a nice niche for himself: he can tell mommy and daddy that, true, he never became a doctor, but fuck it: he’s Making A Differnce and Taking Back Our Country.

    Such self regard is not uncommon among the Perlsteins of the world, I don’t think. A shame so much of it is built on the hairy ass of a naked emperor.

  66. Jeff G. says:

    My email exchange with Mr Rick:

    Subject: race, conservatives, and you

    Hello, Rick.

    Saw your link to my site suggesting that I am yet another of those “conservatives” who only cares about Barack Obama’s race. This is, of course, ridiculous — but then, I can’t say I’d expect much different from someone with your bio.

    My point — and the point of many “conservatives” (among which I don’t count myself, incidentally; I’m a classical liberal) — is that it is the Obama campaign itself who is focused on race, down to the very structural level of their strategy. Try to criticize Obama, and you are sure to be labeled racist. Criticize Michelle Obama for calling America a “mean country” full of “sloths and cynics” that has been going downhill since 1964, and someone notes that you must be offended by her “uppitiness.”

    At any rate, I’ve written plenty on race and language on my site, and as a former academic I’ve also taught a great deal on the subject. If you were interested in my beliefs, you would have taken the time to understand them. But instead, you were quick to label me in accordance to some cartoon you have in your head — failing to see the irony of how your doing so showed you to be just the kind of cartoon leftist many on the right have grown to see under every bush and in every closet.

    Best,
    Jeff Goldstein

    proteinwisdom.com

    Rick’s reply:

    First, I’ve always found the tendency of right-identified citizens to distance themselves from the word “conservative” mostly a cowardly act. It’s most often a way to evade moral responsibility for the consequences of Republican policies, one of the myriad strategies of innocence without which right-wing politics in America could not thrive.

    Above and beyond that observation, people who compare African-Americans to chocolate have surrendered their claim to my respect and attention, except for purposes of derision.

    RP

    Comparing an “African-American” to chocolate. Let the high dudgeon begin!

    My god. The affected moral outrage from a guy who, I’m certain, has compared conservatives (or, sorry, “right-identified citizens,” in the parlance of political identity politics) to con men, Nazis, neaderthals, et al., is priceless.

    This is the kind of political “activist” who ties his entire identity to his lust for “change” — provided he’s part of the ruling class that gets to sit atop the rubble heap he helps bring about.

    What a fucking cartoon.

  67. BuddyPC says:

    Like Catfish Hunter once commented on his sampling the “Reggie” bar back in the day:

    You unwrap it and it tells you how good it is.

  68. truth machine says:

    Racism is fun and funny!

  69. truth machine says:

    My god. The affected moral outrage from a guy who, I’m certain, has compared conservatives (or, sorry, “right-identified citizens,” in the parlance of political identity politics) to con men, Nazis, neaderthals, et al., is priceless.

    Tu quoque arguments win every time!

  70. Jeff G. says:

    Me: “Obama is black.”

    Obama: “It’s true. I am.”

    truth machine: “RACISTS!11!”

    truth machine:

    truth machine: “…uh, not you, of course, Mr Obama.”

  71. Jeff G. says:

    And of course, not to take anything calling itself “truth machine” too seriously, but I do note that he skips the entire portion of my response that qualifies the “tu quoque argument”.

    Which I think he did just so he could use an exclamation point. Because an exclamation point is like a magic bullet you set upright at the end of a sentence and voila — irony!

    (see what I did there?!)!

  72. happyfeet says:

    To make chocolate what you do is you separate the cocoa solids stuff, which is brown, from the cocoa butter, which is kind of a creamy white, and then later you mix em back together and then you have your tasty chocolate bar. (For white chocolate you just use the cocoa butter and go from there with sugar and stuff.) But the point is that chocolate bars are reconstructed chocolate. Reconstructed quite deliberately, really. Often by Belgians.

  73. Jeff G. says:

    chocolate as a social construct.

    What would Jesus do?

  74. truth machine says:

    truth machine: “…uh, not you, of course, Mr Obama.”

    Putting words in people’s mouths is fun! Whee!

    And of course, not to take anything calling itself “truth machine” too seriously, but I do note that he skips the entire portion of my response that qualifies the “tu quoque argument”.

    Qualifying a tu quoque argument doesn’t make it a fallacy! Whee!

  75. truth machine says:

    Oh, and

    It’s ok to be racist because … they’re black! Yahoo!

  76. truth machine says:

    Irony? Hell no, I’m just having fun! It says “Say it!” so I’m saying it! Chocolate! Niggers! We’re not racists, because Obama’s black!

  77. BJTexs says:

    Ya might want to up the dosage there truth machine. Whee!

    BTW: That albino monkey flying around your basement screeching out “Woodstock?”

    He’s not real. Yahoo!

  78. JD says:

    Whee! I call myself Truth Machine but I am really dummerer than a steaming pile of cow dung. Whee! I am a racist! Whee! But I project my racist sexist homophobic views onto others! Whee!

  79. BJTexs says:

    JD: I think truth machine is just looking for some man love.

    Whee! Yahoo!

  80. JD says:

    If he wants man love, the gleens and excitable Andy are always looking for new jock sniffers, NTTAWWT.

  81. JD says:

    Mona has to get tired every now and then, truth machine. Be a good fellow and give her a hand.

  82. truth machine says:

    I love this place! I fit right in! Whee!

  83. truth machine says:

    Obama’s a nigger!! A nougat filled chocolate bar! I’m not a racist because he’s black! Oh, and because of Ray Nagin! And that Mi’Chelle, there’s some angry black pussy! God I love a place where I can let it all hang out!

  84. truth machine says:

    Own it, you fucking racist assholes.

  85. truth machine says:

    Here’s some “classic liberalism” for Jeff Goldstein:

    “I will say, then, that I am not nor have ever been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the black and white races—that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with White people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the White and black races which will ever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together, there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the White race.”

    Since Lincoln said it, it must not be racist.

  86. BJTexs says:

    Walk toward the butterfly nets, TM…

  87. JD says:

    The only problem, douchenozzle, is that you appear to be the only one laughing at your “jokes”, and you are the only ones making those claims.

  88. B Moe says:

    “…there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the White race.”

    Is that why you think you must defend Black peoples against mean old Whitey poking a little fun at them? Since they are inferior, is just isn’t fair?

  89. BJTexs says:

    Not to mention the only one using the N-Word. So unless he has The Melanin shield© then i am well within my rights to call TM a RACIST!

    all of this identity political correctness stuff is so very complicated, although TM’s attempt to simplify just come off as simple minded.

    OWN IT, TM! OWN YOUR SIMPLE MINDED RACISM!!!

  90. Blind Howling Moonbat says:

    And that Mi’Chelle, there’s some angry black pussy!

    Uppity, Goddammit! Didn’t you get the memo? If Michelle gets mentioned you are supposed to accuse them of calling her uppity!

  91. JD says:

    The only person around here acting like a racist asshole, truth machine (a real snorter there), is … drumroll … you. You have no acquitted yourself very well. Are you going to be embarassed? Sadly, no.

  92. JD says:

    Let me try this out … I am a lifelong Dem, a Left liberal if you will. I am supporting Hillary because of the patriarchy, and because there is no way on God’s green earth that I am going to let a darkie in the Oval Office. And you Republicans are racists !!!!!!!!!!1

  93. JD says:

    I just puked a little in the back of my mouth. Now I really do not like truth machine. What is it with these names? Truth machine that would not know the truth if it was banging him in the ass. Datadave has yet to meet a fact. The irony. It hurts.

  94. BJTexs says:

    It’s all about Tm, JD. It’s just angry that conservatives breath the same air as him and that a few of us made chocolate jokes about Barack without The Melanin Shield.@copy;

    BTW: Now that my Portuguese father is many year’s retired, can I claim a Partial Melanin Shield for my 100% Mediterranean Browness? Or ..Does the fact that he ran his own business continue to cast me as the demon spawn of a exploitive capialist running dog?

  95. JD says:

    You can never shed the mantle of being the spawn of exploitive capitalist imperialist oppressive running dogs.

    Why do people like Perlnecklacestein and myversionofthetruth machine insist on arguing with caricatures of conservatives in their heads ?

  96. JD says:

    You can never shed the mantle of being the spawn of exploitive capitalist imperialist oppressive running dogs.

    Why do people like Perlnecklacestein and myversionofthetruth machine insist on arguing with caricatures of conservatives in their heads ?

  97. BJTexs says:

    Department of criticism department, eh?

    Moralizing, identity pimp liberals are always arguing with caracatures in their head. Be they libertarians (POT SMOKING SEX FIEND RACISTS!), conservatives (ALL THE ISTS AND THE PHOBES TOO!) or Christians (INTOLERANT! MEDIEVAL! UNREASON! UNSCIENTIFIC! THEOCONS!) When it happens for a while, their ability to tell the difference between real people who express those philosophies and the clown suited ideological cartoon characters flying about their heads is gone forever.

    They are amusing in a just nailed road kill squirming on the highway kind of way.

  98. JD says:

    You are nicer than me, a better man. I just think they are addle brained asshats.

  99. truth machine says:

    “Not to mention the only one using the N-Word.”

    Look at comment #33, quoted in #53, cretin. You are all stupid dishonest racists. Everyone knows it, even you, but you’re too cowardly to simply acknowledge it. Cowardly pathetic whiny cretins on whom I’ve spent more time than you’re worth. Enjoy your little pisshole of a blog.

  100. truth machine says:

    “arguing with caricatures of conservatives in their heads ?”

    You didn’t get the word from that pathetic coward Goldstein: you’re not supposed to admit you’re conservatives.

    Over and out.

  101. JD says:

    someweirdversionofthetruth machine – In kindergarten last year, it kind of hurt just a little when your teacher marked “Does not play well with others” on your report card, didn’t it?

  102. JD says:

    pathetic coward coming from someone that utilizes an oxymoronic pseudonym has to be some kind of unintended irony. Racist.

  103. Michael Penisman says:

    There’s something to be said about sucking your own dick with smug, self-congratulatory humor.

  104. Pablo says:

    There’s something to be said about sucking your own dick, period.

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  106. What about Obama’s slogans, really fun about US. But what about comments – lol – most of them are about absolutely different things. Also I wonder, who create the slogans and who reject them?

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