Pilgrims are frisked and scanned by metal detectors before being allowed to worship the “Sri Maha Bodi,” grown from a sapling of a tree in India that sheltered the Buddha when he attained enlightenment more than 2,550 years ago.
But primates in the temple compound are free to swing from tree-to-tree, grab sweet offerings and in the process endanger what Sri Lankan Buddhists believe is the world’s oldest religiously significant tree, a Banyan species propped up by iron supports at temple ruins dating back 2,300 years.
It doesn’t really explain how the monkeys threaten the tree. Trees and monkeys have lived in harmony for like a really long time I thought. If they want they just should leave some nice monkey food around where they’d rather the monkeys hang out. Or hire McKinsey to do a study on the monkey/tree dynamics. Or have the tree declared a UN Happy Place.
Maybe they’re dumb.
The UN peace-keepers would retreat in the face of violent opposition from the swinging primates. The poor Blue Hats don’t stand a chance against the aerial combat methods of these little furry guys. Better to send a harshly worded memo — to the Monks. Clearly, their colonial dominance of this tree is the “root cause” of the violence.
What would Charlton Heston do, apart from blasting the fucking monkeys to hell?
Have it declared a UN Happy Place. Brilliant.
Heston: Sri Maha Bodi is people. People!
Monks:
Heston: They’ll be herding us like cattle soon.
Monks:
Heston: Tell everyone. Tell the people.
Monks:
Monks:
Monks: night-saapadu sEtthaa?
Heston:
Monks:
Heston: It’s people!
Y’know, if you don’t want me to save your tree with the monkey-killing robot in my pants, just say so. I’m too old for these head games.
Damn dirty apes.
C’mon, you insensitive jerks. Sacred trees don’t grow on… um…
Well, that was going to sound stupid, wasn’t it?
My kung fu is stronger then theirs.
Maybe they could grow a cool new banyan tree a little ways off to lure the monkeys away from the sacred tree. It might take a little time, but what the fuck, those monks, they got nothing but time.
Chuck Heston? Didn’t this star Matt Damon?
Where’s Frank J when you need him?
Sri Lankan Buddhists believe is the world’s oldest religiously significant tree, a Banyan species propped up by iron supports at temple ruins dating back 2,300 years.
Holy crap! I can’t get my office plant to last three weeks. I wonder if one of those monks would be willing to hire on as a gardener at my house. I once sat under a tree there and got high – at the time I was sure I’d achieved enlightenment.
I think the monks should start throwing poo.