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Shannon Elizabeth comments on Captain Ed’s decision to shut down Captain’s Quarters in favor of a spot on Michelle Malkin’s Hot Air

Elizabeth: “I don’t have the foggiest idea who this Captain Ed guy is, to be honest — but if he owns a really nice boat and can score us some X, I’d be willing to give him a shot.

” — Speaking of which, Ted Turner once told me that the salt air had so plumped my nipples that he feared the pressure would force them to go spinning off like a pair of honeycovered rotary saw blades and lop Jane Fonda’s head clean off.

“Of course, this was just before their divorce, so in retrospect, I suppose there’s a chance he was, like, projecting and stuff.”

32 Replies to “Shannon Elizabeth comments on Captain Ed’s decision to shut down Captain’s Quarters in favor of a spot on Michelle Malkin’s Hot Air”

  1. Dan Collins says:

    Hey! I’ve got an idea for another great X-Men hottie!

  2. mojo X says:

    ATTICA! ATTICA!

  3. mojo says:

    BTW: Sorry, but Dushku definitely hotter.

  4. Jeff G. says:

    Viciously spinning nipple blades is just the kind of thing Hot Air needs to take it to that next level. Or at the very least, to give Olbermann something to do with his other hand.

  5. MC says:

    Because of the NIPPOCRISY!!!

  6. JD says:

    Dushka is smoking hot too.

    If they would pair Shannon Nipples with that blonde vixen that Helio damced with, it would be some of the best reality TV, EVAH !

  7. Karl says:

    projecting and stuff

    Or something like that, yes.

  8. TaiChiWawa says:

    Ted wanted to see her turner nipples cause he was fonda Jane’s head.

  9. Ash says:

    Dude, you’re back! I read this and thought, “Now, this one is as good as one of those weird old posts Jeff would have written.” But is WAS Jeff.

  10. BJTexs says:

    Shannon will be too busy kicking ass and taking names at the next Heads Up Poker Championship.

    Come for the Nipples: Stay for the Smackdown!

  11. Sticky B says:

    I, for one, welcome Shannon’s nipples.

  12. happyfeet says:

    I, for one, would not sell Cap’n Ed short in the honeycovered nipple department.

  13. lee says:

    the salt air had so plumped my nipples

    I really, really think when such claims are advanced in an important story like this, there should be links to back up said claims.

    But, no worries. Being the helper and giver that I am, I will correct this obvious oversight with gratuitous nudity.

    You’re welcome.

  14. Dan Collins says:

    SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
    Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
    Conspiring with him how to load and bless
    With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
    To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
    And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
    To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
    With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
    And still more, later flowers for the bees,
    Until they think warm days will never cease,
    For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.

    http://z.about.com/d/top40/1/0/H/8/alpert1966.jpg

  15. JD says:

    That lee, he is one hell of a guy.

  16. nishizonoshinji says:

    sah-weet!
    now all the Harmony database conspiracy theorists are gruped up in one big softtarget bullseye for me!
    i lurvs it.
    if only i could comment there.
    :(

  17. nishizonoshinji says:

    i guess m’schelle is still holding that old fisking against me.

  18. Dan Collins says:

    Oh, geez, nishi. You weren’t even around over the weekend to explain bipedal chordate mammalian placental MD guy.

  19. The Thin Man says:

    I, for one, would welcome Jane Fonda’s lopped off head.
    Because of the L’Oreal

  20. Jeff G. says:

    On Golden Girls Pond.

    What?

  21. daleyrocks says:

    nishi’s imagination gets the best of her again if she thinks that was a fisking. No life experience, reads books, talks to computers, doesn’t admit she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.

    You need to get out more girl.

    The uber geek new pop fashionishta intellectual snob muslim act ain’t workin’

    u lie like rug

    u r stoopider than u think or admit

    burqa burqa burqa

  22. Kevin says:

    So wait. Salt air plumps nipples?

  23. Tommy says:

    Oh, how I’ve missed Shannon’s Nipples.

    ..
    Wait, I mean…
    No, I’ll go with it.

  24. Jeff G. says:

    Of course.

    Unless I’m thinking of Ball Park franks and a backyard grill.

  25. guinsPen says:

    They plump when you cook ’em!

    Oh, and not on. Nevermind.

  26. alppuccino says:

    “Licking the salt off a nipple will plump them as well”

    —Myron Brumski

  27. JD says:

    a bodyshot with Senorita Elisabeth. Heavenly.

  28. McGehee says:

    Well, Shannon’s nipples do tend to have a plumping effect, salt air or not…

  29. nishizonoshinji says:

    rawr, daleyrocks, if it was weaksauce, why cant i comment at hotair?
    ive never even said anything to violate the policy.
    my accounts are deleted before i can comment.
    i think….i notched a few arrows in her. :)

    General Petraeus’ and Dr. Kilcullen’s strategies have had a profound effect on Iraq.
    I dislike Malkin because she cannot overcome her prejudices and limited intellect to see that she that she is sandbagging the muslim allies our troops are giving blood and sweat to nuture.
    The way she stabbed GW in the back over Dubai Ports World is a perfect example of her basic stupidity and dramaqueen histrionics.

  30. nishizonoshinji says:

    btw Malkin is just BillO in drag as far as I can tell.

  31. nishizonoshinji says:

    heh
    consider it……if jeff goes to work for for maulkin an shuts PW down i wont be able to comment anywhere.
    PROTEIN WISDOM FTW!

  32. McGehee says:

    Nishi, turn out the light and go to sleep. Tomorrow’s a school day and I’m not writing you another excuse.

Comments are closed.