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Headline of the Day [Dan Collins]

Disabled Spy Satellite Threatens Earth

Oh, yeah?  I think Earth could kick its ass, even if it weren’t disabled. 

This one was good, too:
Gladiators Return to New Orleans Suburb 
I was hoping it would be about alligators in the gladiolas, but it wasn’t. 

7 Replies to “Headline of the Day [Dan Collins]”

  1. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    DISABLED SPY SATELLITE THREATENS EARTH
    DEMOCRATS SURRENDER TO IT

  2. happyfeet says:

    I think they’re right that we have to sit down and talk with it.

  3. Kirk says:

    And how can you be so sure that the satellite doesn’t have John Bolton’s stare? Maybe the Earth really does feel threatened.

  4. JD says:

    DISABLED SPY SATELLITE THREATENS EARTH
    DEMOCRATS SURRENDER TO IT
    FRANCE FOLLOWS SHORTLY THEREAFTER.

    Talking to it will make it stop. Just like it has done throughout history.

  5. The Thin Man says:

    Tomorrows Headlines:

    “Democrats to give Disabled Satellite S-CHIP Health Coverage”
    Hillary says “No Satellite Left Behind”

  6. Pablo says:

    Other headline of the day:

    Feds Indict Teen for ‘Threatening’ Noose

    As a group of marchers waited for a bus to transport them from Alexandria, La., to Tennessee, a pickup truck allegedly cruised slowly by, a pair of nooses hanging from the back of the truck. Local police officers took notice and arrested the teen driver and his passenger.

    Being an asshole is now a prosecutable offense. “hate crime” isn’t just an enhancement anymore. Hate is now a crime.

    This message was brought to you by the First Amendment Al Sharpton.

  7. Jeff aka Alcyoneus says:

    I’m confused. When did our intelligence services become part of the Special Olympics? “Disabled” satellite? How does a secret spy satellite lose power without warning?

    This doesn’t sound right to me. Clearly, the men’s rights activists are to blame.

Comments are closed.