24 Replies to “Irony Meter Pegged [Dan Collins]”

1. keninnorcal says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:06 pm

   Not so actual sub-heading:

   We reserve the right to bind, ball-gag, and sodomize the current President, however.

2. Education Guy says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:19 pm

   It is fascinating that the NY Times still thinks it has a clue what the majority of Americans want. What that always ends up meaning is that the majority of people that Times editors hang out with. They are, as always, the heroes of their very own fairy tales.

3. Kresh says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:29 pm

   How quick will they redact that headline if a Republican wins? I’m betting within seconds, maybe less time than that.

4. happyfeet says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:40 pm

   It just depends. If Hillary’s hands get tied in front she could still wave a white flag pretty easy cause she could still raise he arms. It’s only if they tie her hands in the back that really would be a problem.

5. happyfeet says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:41 pm

   oh. *her arms.* Also tied in front would be better cause if someone tried to bitchslap her she could at least try to block it.

6. maggie katzen says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:47 pm

   soldiers currently serving in Germany, South Korea, Japan and Kosovo were not contacted for comment….

7. Patrick Carroll says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:48 pm

   Well, one way to read this is that the next President – likely a Democrat – should have the leeway to inflict a humiliating defeat on us.

   That would make it Executive: 1, Legislative: 1 , Judicial: 0 in the humiliation infliction sweepstakes.

   So, I’d expect the Supreme Court to inflict humiliating defeat sometime in the next 30 years, or so.

8. maggie katzen says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:50 pm

   So, I’d expect the Supreme Court to inflict humiliating defeat sometime in the next 30 years, or so.

   Kelo doesn’t count?

9. RDub says:

   January 17, 2008 at 12:56 pm

   11 million?! The only one crying at Ike’s funeral was his dealer…

10. Techie says:

    January 17, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    Man, are they going to have egg on their face when Fred wins.

11. Patrick Carroll says:

    January 17, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Dear Ms. Katzen: She shoots, she scores. Sort of. Kelo, Jeez, what an own-goal.

    Strictly speaking, I was talking about defeats in war. Though hell, if the Supreme Court can strip us of our private property rights, well, roll on apocalypse.

12. maggie katzen says:

    January 17, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    I’ll accept that, Mr. Carroll. ;D I’m doing this while waiting for the system to pull invoice data, so sometimes I miss things.

13. happyfeet says:

    January 17, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    It reminds me how last night on teh NPR on that little rat-woman‘s show she did the whole thing on how and when we get out of Iraq and one of the people was this ex-military British fop guy named Gen. Sir Michael Rose that was holding forth about how courageous it was for Britain to have surrendered the colonies (that would be us) cause that way they were able to rebuild their navy and face Napoleon who was the greatest military genius ever in the whole world he said which that part may be true I don’t really track those things. But the point is that it’s the next Napoleon we need to get ready for so screw Iraq. He said the next Napoleon would probably be al Qaeda. I think he was drunk.

14. Cowboy says:

    January 17, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Hey, the NYT shares a sentiment with us! Isn’t that nice of them? I take back all of the ugly things I’ve said about that really nice, really special group of people.

15. daleyrocks says:

    January 17, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    My nose hurts.

16. narciso says:

    January 17, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Ah, Michael Rose, he was head of the Un taskforce at the time of the Srebenica massacres in Bosnia; whose resposne did not a little, toward radicalizing a generation of Moslems
    toward AQ.

17. happyfeet says:

    January 17, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    I didn’t know that part. I think they really try to assign the drinking problem ones to the United Nations where they won’t preside over massacres and stuff. Oops.

18. Patrick Carroll says:

    January 17, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    Dear happyfeet,

    As regards the end of the Empire, well, this:

    Gentlemen,

    Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch to our headquarters.

    We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty’s Government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.

    Unfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion’s petty cash and there has been a hideous confusion as the the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.

    This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty’s Government so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue either one with the best of my ability, but I cannot do both:

    1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London or perchance:

    2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.

    — Duke of Wellington, to the British Foreign Office, London, 1812.

    If the Brits had had this man during our War of Independence, well, cigarettes would still be fags.

    Or something like that.

19. happyfeet says:

    January 17, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    Yeah but then Napoleon would have won. It’s ineluctable cause he was teh greatestest military genius ever the Sir General on ratwoman’s show said. And now al Qaeda is the New Napoleon, and … I’m not sure really but rat-woman is doing the same theme for her show tonight and tomorrow so if I figure out the rest I’ll report back.

20. Patrick Carroll says:

    January 17, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    “ineluctable”

    When I read that word I want to drape myself in velvet.

    I want to do other things too, but children might happen by. Dontchaknow.

21. Kresh says:

    January 17, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    So, “Al Queda” is short and will end up exiled to a small island? Will people auction their dried and (more) shriveled penii (er, what’s the plural for penis?) hundreds of years after they are dead?

    Will thay start using batons as well?

    So many questions, none of them good.

    Wait, I have a good question: Why were you listening to NPR? You’re HAPPYfeet. NPR does not makes one’s feet happy. It does, in fact, make one’s feet rather frantic, as in; “I’m Frantic to get away from the audio pollution the retard I’m attached to insists on listening to!” FRANTICfeet just doesn’t have the same ring. Or do you have some secret power that renders you immune to the call of insanity?

22. happyfeet says:

    January 17, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    I don’t have a really good reason other than that I don’t read liberal blogs really at all so NPR basically summarizes them for me. Also if it weren’t for NPR I would have had no idea about the collapsing economy. And I needs me my weekly Katrina update.

23. happyfeet says:

    January 17, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    Those poor people.

24. Patrick Carroll says:

    January 17, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    More “Dick” than you’ve ever wanted:

    http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mplurals.html

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