IowaHawk puts the significance and the fundamental rightness of the Iowa cowkisses into perspective, but there are some things that he, as an Iowan, is not allowed to say, that I, a Wisconsinite who for several years posed as an Iowan to infiltrate their strange society, can reveal without directly endangering my family.ÂÂ
Iowans developed the idea of the “cowkiss” originally as a kind of lark on which to send unsuspecting out-of-state journalists a-prognosticating, there being little by way of such entertainment otherwise, in the same way you might send a new scout out searching for a left-handed smoke shifter or hunting for snipe.  With their strange, pooky sense of humor, famously depicted in Grant Wood’s American Gothic, and lovingly recreated in Stephen King’s Children of the Corn, these poker-faced midwestern sons of the prairie like to tease the rest of the nation once every four years by sending up candidates who would be beaten down with extreme prejudice in the rest of the country–as, for instance, Howard Dean.  In 1976, they generated a moment of surreal hilarity when they gave the nod to Jimmy Carter, only to watch in horror as he went on to win the general election.  They were relatively quiet for several election cycles thereafter, until they forgave themselves for the enormity of what they’d foisted on the rest of the nation.
So, whatever happens in the cowkisses, take it with a grain of salt, realizing that behind their flat midwestern topography, accent and affect there beats a heart of grotesque irony that you, oh subtle national media figure, cannot fathom.  (It has to do with the prevalence of tornados, but that is subject for another post).
Another temporary Iowan!
At least someone will get my joke, then.
Heh. Yes.
Hmph. They still haven’t lived down Carter, if you ask me.
Technically, Iowa did not give the nod to Carter, who came in second to undeclared.
Shoulda been a red flag, if you ask me.
What’s also weird is that on teh NPR there’s much excited chitterchatter about who came in third for the Democrats but somehow no one came in third for the Republicans. Iowa is kooky, huh?
Yes, and there’s parimutuel greyhound racing!
What I did was go and give Mr. Thompson more of the money I get from that job thing I do and I feel better now.
Also NPR says turnout was a big factor. They’re savvy like that.
This is the media’s wet dream. They are proclaiming Huck as the GOP frontrunner. Maybe Bloomberg will join up with him. Good Allah, I cannot stand the media.
oh, JD, you’re missing Edward’s litany of sad stories. WHY!!!???? WHYYYYYYYYY!? oh, he says it’s corporate greed.
Bwahahaha, Maggie! Can you find some good video links?
it may take a while….. he just finished it.
oh, Hillary’s up. she’s got Maddie Albright and… I’m pretty sure that’s Weasely Clark behind her.
Leave Silky Pony ALONE!
Silky Agonistes!
maggie – I was unable to ttpe because silky poofter was making me dry heave all over the house. He is almost as bad as Fuckabee. Oops. He is worse. Far worse. After tonight, no more ethanol and no more children of the corn.
he’s coming for yooooouuuuuu, JD! I don’t work much, so I think I’ll be okay, maybe better even.
God but Obama is boring and trite.
Happy, where did you get that idea? that’s not what Rush says.
I’m just sayin….
Ack. I suck at improv. Also I took my sleeping pills early so it could have just been me. But still, I think Mr. Reynolds heard a different speech than I did.
If this Huckabee thing continues, and he actually gets the nomination, I’m gonna have to do something I really really don’t want to do.
Vote for Ron Paul. In the choice between Batshit and Hillary with a Penis, what am I really supposed to do?