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Man the Barricades! (CraigC)

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (AP) – A drug that could do for women what Viagra has done for men is being tested at the University of Virginia. The drug is a testosterone-laden ointment called LibiGel and it’s intended to boost the libido of women who have lost interest in sex. It will be prescribed at UVa in coming months to women who are suffering from hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

A testosterone-laden ointment, eh?

“May I help you rub in your ointment?”

LibiGel comes in a pump bottle. The woman rubs the small dot of gel into the skin of her upper arm.

Oh.  Darn.

In its second-phase clinical trials at 17 institutions, LibiGel led to a 283 percent increase of satisfying sexual encounters for the women taking the drug.

Hope Hillary! doesn’t hear about this.

*

97 Replies to “Man the Barricades! (CraigC)”

  1. Topsecretk9 says:

    LibiGel comes in a pump bottle. The woman rubs the small dot of gel into the skin of her upper arm.

    Oh. Darn.

    Oh. Darn. IS the universal male reaction to this. Didn’t Oprah feature a clit arousal cream?

    Anyhoo. Sex deprived husbands will be violating their prissy sex manipulating wives’ arms, dabbing LibiGel at unsuspecting moments. It will be the new domestic violence claim.

  2. daleyrocks says:

    TS – Forget applying it topically. We’ll be sneaking it into your food!

  3. Topsecretk9 says:

    TS – Forget applying it topically. We’ll be sneaking it into your food!

    HEH. I suspect you will.

    Super HEH. I spit.

  4. Topsecretk9 says:

    I spit. — >laughing I meant. Aye carumba.

  5. daleyrocks says:

    TS – Eyes in the backs of your heads you women will need.

  6. Topsecretk9 says:

    daleyrocks–

    I know. All I could think when I read the story is this is a product for MEN!

    Dabs of LibiGel like a moisturizer cream during a massage? Men dabbing at random at Night Clubs like Ecstasy.

    “You look tense honey, let me give you a back rub, you dooooooo soooooooo much”

  7. Topsecretk9 says:

    daleyrocks-

    Actually, I revise that…over 50 women will be the new vogue. They will buy it like gangbusters and viagra might not keep up.

  8. daleyrocks says:

    I’m not completely sure. I foresee a big problem with men being able to convince doctors to prescribe the product without seeing the patient, or should I say the person intended to consume the product.

  9. daleyrocks says:

    TS – Your number 7 – Is that wrong?

  10. Topsecretk9 says:

    Daley — Is that wrong?

    I’m hoping it’s not a “translation” comment thing

    Boomer Dab!

    but I DO see the over 50 crowd ladies requesting this (more than the 20-30 sex manipulator age) and I imagine with viagra’s timing issue…50 will be the new hot!

  11. Jeff says:

    There’s a peculiar equivocation at work here. Viagra causes the penis to become protuberant. Viagra doesn’t increase a man’s sex drive. This new drug supposedly increases a woman’s desire for sex. Very different.

    Knowing women in the 45-55 age group, an increase in their sex drive will not help their husbands but will benefit the young stud at the local hiphop club.

  12. Topsecretk9 says:

    Jeff–Comment by Jeff on 1/1 @ 1:48 am #–

    see….1:37 am # and 12:46 am #

  13. Topsecretk9 says:

    Incidentally, fireworks are a popping it’s the New year for me — Happy New Year Protein Wisdom All!

    I toast you all!

  14. Cindy Sheehan says:

    But what about MEEEEEEE?

  15. RTO Trainer says:

    Cindy,

    Increase your libido all you like, you still have to find a man who’d have you ‘fore it made a difference.

  16. The Lost Dog says:

    Cindy –

    I want you so bad!

    I think it is your mind that makes you so desirable. I mean, how could any real man resist your incredible mental aptitude, and your rational approach to life?? Boner up to HERE, babe!

    I hate to say it, but you are so hot that I want to pork the newspaper pages that your name appears on. THAT’S how hot you really are!!!!

    Sorry. Sometimes I just can’t help myself…

    John Edwards

  17. Paul Moore says:

    Men don’t have a problem with desire, only performance- and finding a willing partner. How many women will even want to buy this for themselves? I see a huge black market opening here.

  18. Drumwaster says:

    The woman rubs the small dot of gel into the skin of her upper arm.

    “It rubs the gel into its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

  19. SarahW says:

    HA! but the extra testosterone will make us funny, and we will make romance-killing jokes. You can not win.

  20. Rusty says:

    The woman rubs the small dot of gel into the skin of her upper arm.

    “It rubs the gel into its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

    It rubs the gel into its skin so that it will get the hose again

    I like my way better

  21. Jeffersonian says:

    TLD, you’re gonna have to fight for Cindy. Hugo and Jesse have dibs on tappin’ that ass.

  22. Belvedere jones says:

    “A drug that could do for women what Viagra has done for men is being tested at the University of Virginia.”

    Of course it is.

  23. daleyrocks says:

    SarahW – HA! but the extra testosterone will make us funny, and we will make romance-killing jokes. You can not win.

    Your logic does not compute. Men are impervious to bad jokes as you well know.

    Also, don’t worry about the extra special he-man flatulence side effects. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

  24. daleyrocks says:

    TS – HEH!
    “You look tense honey, let me give you a back rub, you dooooooo soooooooo much”

    Where do you find men this desperate? I call a guy code violation.

  25. BumperStickerist says:

    LibiGel?

    What a dumb name.

    Why not call it ‘Boo-Yeah!’?

  26. SarahW says:

    “Men are impervious to bad jokes as you well know.”

    Oh Yes. (Ohhh YEsss!?) It’s the real funny what sinks true love.

  27. SarahW says:

    Well, maube not true love, but that mood thing.

  28. happyfeet says:

    “It’s not fair that women have no drugs, while men have many.”

    Is sad I think that we can make happy orgasm drugs and invoke egalitarianism while dooming athletes to perpetual protohuman mediocrity. That’s what I think.

  29. daleyrocks says:

    Well, maube not true love, but that mood thing.

    We don’t need a whole lot of time. The games on TV could be tight and you want to make sure to catch all the action.

  30. CGHill says:

    A 283-percent increase over zero is still zero.

  31. Stogie says:

    Can men buy the stuff? Will it fit in those high powered squirt guns? (And where can you buy the squirt guns?)

    Just asking. For scientific interest. That’s all. Ahem.

  32. SarahW says:

    Don’t baste me, bro?

  33. The Lost Dog says:

    “Where do you find men this desperate? I call a guy code violation.”

    Actually, I think it’s called “a party foul”. And I am a pro at party fouls.

    BTW (OT), Court TV is now Tru-TV, and like being in a really shabby trailer park, I just can’t take my eyes off of it. I keep hoping to discover Hillary Swank walking out the door of one of the double wides.

  34. CraigC says:

    A 283-percent increase over zero is still zero.

    No, a 238% increase over zero is a 238% increase. Now, 238 times zero would still be zero.

  35. happyfeet says:

    no one said there was gonna be math

  36. JD says:

    So, a 238 percent increase over 0 equals what ?

  37. happyfeet says:

    this is how holes in the space-time continuum get ripped

  38. JD says:

    It sounds like this makes the orgasm easier or more fun for the woman, which is a good thing. A drug that would stimulate the desire to engage in the activities that lead to said orgasm, priceless.

  39. JD says:

    happy – never made it to LA. Made it to Phoenix.

    GO ILLINI !!!!!!!!!!

  40. happyfeet says:

    oh – that sounds like there was inconvenience involved. That’s not a good way to start the year.

  41. happyfeet says:

    Also I was kind of hopeful about today. I’m wearing my new CafePress PW t-shirt and I’m gonna use my new PW mug for coffee later after I wash it. It sure is pretty.

  42. McGehee says:

    A 283% increase over zero is the same as 2.83 times zero.

    Plus, I think the correct answer when you divide something by zero, should be infinity.

  43. happyfeet says:

    Ok now McGehee’s gone and done it.

  44. McGehee says:

    So, dividing a woman’s interest in having sex, by her interest in having sex with me, that should amount to something, right there.

  45. JD says:

    If you call missing my alma mater’s first trip to the Rose Bowl in almost 25 years an inconvenience …. I will never fly through O’Hare intentionally again.

  46. happyfeet says:

    Crap. And that’s such a heinous airport to be stuck in on top of that.

  47. daleyrocks says:

    JD – Cindy Sheehan and the Code Pinkos are going to disrupt the game, so it will probably wind up being rescheduled. You won’t miss anything.

    I don’t know why you ever said anything mean about that woman.

  48. BJTexs says:

    Cindy hates teh football.

  49. JD says:

    Since I am no going to be there in time for kick-off , I hope Cindy and her band of idiots puts on a world class mooning for the entire world. Maybe I could get there in time for the last seconds of our win over OJ’s school.

  50. Pablo says:

    I will never fly through O’Hare intentionally again.

    As long as you don’t do it between September and May, you should be OK. Maybe. Otherwise, unless you’re fond of airport hospitality it’s probably not a good idea.

  51. CraigC says:

    So what did they base their figure of a 238% increase on? This is the real world colliding the math world. McGehee, technically, you’re right, in that mathematically, (2.38)(0)=0. But if a woman has no interest in sex, and this drug gives her an interest in sex, then there’s an increase in her interest in sex. You could calculate it based on the moment she has any interest. So, let’s say that it’s >0

  52. CraigC says:

    Heh. My formula got cut off because it was interpreted as an HTML command. It was “greater than zero, but less than 2.38.”

  53. Pablo says:

    The drug is a testosterone-laden ointment called LibiGel and it’s intended to boost the libido of women who have lost interest in sex.

    Back on topic, I figure it will take about 15 minutes after hitting the market before the first guy tries it. The results will be predictable.

  54. CraigC says:

    Or “greater than zero and less than 2.38.” Sheesh.

  55. happyfeet says:

    These are pictures. You can look at them. Some of them are neat. If you scroll down there’s an old Pulitzer winner I had never seen before. It’s very sad.

  56. CraigC says:

    And I don’t think we need to wonder where they’ll rub it, Pablo. The question will be, “Is it working, or is it just the rubbing?”

  57. BJTexs says:

    Craig: Seems to me your are handling HTML the way Zappa plays guitar. :-)

  58. McGehee says:

    This is the real world colliding [with] the math world.

    I understand physicists have trouble with that a lot.

  59. BJTexs says:

    And … I can’t spell LOL!

  60. The Lost Dog says:

    Comment by McGehee on 1/1 @ 2:03 pm #

    “So, dividing a woman’s interest in having sex, by her interest in having sex with me, that should amount to something, right there.”

    Yeah. What it amounts to is no sex for the rest of your life. At least not with anyone you’d LIKE to have sex with…

    And that conundrum is the scourge of my life. It’s sort of like what Groucho said about country clubs.

    It’s kinda like Catch-22.

    I would love to have a woman to “brighten my life”, but I just can’t bring myself to sleep with any woman who would go home with me. I figure that my salad days are way gone, and if someone wants to do that with me, there has got to be something wrong with her.

    Or maybe she has been massaging her arm?

    Heh.

  61. happyfeet says:

    This one kind of resonates with this thread I think.

  62. BJTexs says:

    The burkha is teh force field against the Libigel!

  63. JD says:

    TLD – “salad days” ? Is that anything like tossing the Gleen’s salad ?

  64. Pablo says:

    The burkha is teh force field against the Libigel!

    Meh. I’d still hit that like a runaway train. ‘Course with my luck, she’s probably built like Hillary.

  65. daleyrocks says:

    TLD – Hookers pretend they want to sleep with you. All is not lost.

  66. JD says:

    I have to admit that the first thing I thought of when I read this was “i cannot wait to try that”. Just a drop, Never. I was planning on slathering it on me like bacon grease.

  67. JD says:

    The way Michael Moore would slather it on Rosie before going to work. After shaving her back hair.

  68. daleyrocks says:

    JD – The problem with Moore is you’d have to strap him to a board and then tilt it up feet first to get his belly out of the way of his dick. I’m not sure who would be working on who under those circumstances.

    You could probably grab one of Rosie’s fat folds and have yourself a good time without her noticing. Should be prelubed with sweat.

  69. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    JD, it it at least showing on a TV somewhere in the airport? Pregame’s on now.

  70. Rusty says:

    JD. It just makes em horny.That doesn’t necessarily mean horny for you.

  71. Republican on acid says:

    Bah, none of us men REALLY want nympho’s for wives. It throws the whole thing out the window. I have grown to enjoy looking forward to it. It makes my week.

    Also, if Hillary finds out, all it really means is that her “lover” might be forced to sodomize her with dildo on a more frequent basis.

    Bill probably gets it wherever and whenever he wants.

  72. happyfeet says:

    Bill has herpes so sometimes he has to take a break but except for that you’re probably right. I’m sure glad I don’t have herpes.

  73. happyfeet says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with having teh herpes it’s just that it’s incurable. You’d think his Foundation would be on the case but it’s not.

  74. Republican on acid says:

    Didn’t Adolf Hitler have herpes? And thus by default, BILL CLINTON WAS HITLER!!!!

    *I know he had syphilis, but who cares? I just got to call a famous politician HITLER!

    YAY!

  75. happyfeet says:

    Even if you do not see legions that doesn’t mean they’re not there.

  76. Republican on acid says:

    “Even if you do not see legions that doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

    Like Ron Paul groupies?

  77. BJTexs says:

    Boss? BOSS!! DE BLIMP!! DE BLIMP!!

  78. happyfeet says:

    Not see legions, get it? Hah. That’s what passes for clever I thought in this the year of our lord 2008. Unless they’re raising the bar again which would not bode well.

  79. Bill D. Cat says:

    Great , bring on the spam .

  80. The Lost Dog says:

    “TLD – Hookers pretend they want to sleep with you. All is not lost.”

    That would be wonderful, except that I live in CT. I would have to ask my A-X-W (almost ex-wife) for the money. Thank you, God. I am a street urchin once more…

    And I’m really not at a loss for women to sleep with. It’s just that I am old enough to take a minute or two to see who is carrying those oh-so-desirable parts around.

    Bummer, man. When I was younger, I didn’t give two shits about how insane the proprieter was. I just wanted those jeans (and other variuos pieces of clothing) to be on the floor by my bed.

    I have had my fun, and am now paying the price. Perhaps sobriety has something to do with it. Tequila was always a magic elixer in my life…until it turned me grey and yellow, and I started pissing grape juice.

    Life is a highway…

  81. happyfeet says:

    You should get a cat. One of those baby ones.

  82. Republican on acid says:

    All I knows about women is that they are all going to vote for RON PAUL!

  83. The Lost Dog says:

    “Comment by happyfeet on 1/1 @ 5:33 pm #

    You should get a cat. One of those baby ones.”

    Not a bad idea, except that you have to wrap them in duct tape…Oh. Never mind…

  84. happyfeet says:

    Someday I want a cat and be like good about remembering to pick up birdseed for the bird feeders and have a chair that I use just for reading and also have like a hundred different sweaters to wear all year round.

  85. happyfeet says:

    And also I want the bull terrier and some choice London Fog.

  86. happyfeet says:

    And good posture.

  87. Republican on acid says:

    I like chicken quite a bit. I think about reading next to a fireplace. It’s night time and snowing, but yet the moonlight is somehow visible making the whole land sparkle like heaven. There is a home made chicken pot pie in the oven. Made from farm fresh ingredients, which is strange because its winter.
    Still in this perfect scenario where I don’t even have to take Ambien to get to sleep, there is one thing missing.
    Ok, several things; I am not watching a Hillary vs. Indian national hottie cooter battle and Ron Paul is president.
    If those things come to pass, America will be America again!

    *Sorry, I have to get Ron Paul off my chest. I am working with a guy right now who definitely has Ron Paul derangement.

  88. happyfeet says:

    I have one friend who like teh RONPAUL but he’s just a kid and it’s kind of cute and harmless since he lives in Chicago.

  89. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    JD: if you’re still out there, you’re not missing a thing.

  90. Pablo says:

    Unless you like turnovers, and I don’t mean apple.

  91. SarahW says:

    Cooks Illusrated features Poulet en cocotte this month. And that’s not just another way of saying RP is crazy.

    I think I will make it tomorrow.

  92. JD says:

    Youth and fumbling inside the USC 10 yard line, three times is a recipe for disaster. And every good hit, tipped ball, and fumble went the Rubbers way. We are going to be good next year. If you see a report that O’Hare was firebombed, if anyone asks, you do not know me.

  93. JD says:

    Watching the game, without sound, on a fuzzy 26″ airport TV sucked. A lot. But I did not have to listen to Musberger or Craig James, so that is a plus.

  94. JD says:

    The people in the airport look at me funny now. I guess the screaming and yelling at a soundless TV concerned them.

  95. The Ouroboros says:

    “In its second-phase clinical trials at 17 institutions, LibiGel led to a 283 percent increase of satisfying sexual encounters for the women taking the drug.”

    So what?

    The Hitachi Wand has been beating those numbers for 20 years..

  96. Gabriel Fry says:

    It works by testosterone? Great. Ye shall know the nouveaux sluts by their moustaches.

  97. Blitz says:

    “clit arousal cream?”

    Hash oil?

Comments are closed.