Canada’s post office and police are trying to track down a “rogue elf” who wrote obscene letters to children on behalf of Santa Claus, a newspaper reported on Friday.
The Ottawa Citizen said at least 10 nasty letters had been delivered to little girls and boys in Ottawa who wrote to Santa this year care of the North Pole, which has a special H0H 0H0 Canadian postal code. Return letters from Santa are in fact written by an 11,000-strong army of Canada Post employees and volunteers.
“We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there,” a Canada Post spokeswoman told the paper.
Canada Post’s popular “Write to Santa” program — which last year delivered more than a million letters to children in Canada and around the world — has been shut down in Ottawa until the offender is caught.
According to Google, this is what a Rogue Elf might look like:
I have the feeling that what we might be dealing with is more likely a . . .Douche Dwarf:
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Please keep him . We’ve got our fair share of douches already , thank you …… although …….. if Jimmah! would negotiate on America’s behalf , we might be able to work a trade , or several million . Socialism’s all the rage down there these days I hear , we got’s lots to spare …… whoa ! ! now there’s a demented thought . If you guys elect the Dems , you’re going to need fences on both borders …. and if I were you I’d spend more resources on your northern border …. damned socialists are worse than roaches to eradicate once they gain a foothold .
Dan, can’t you tell the difference between a dwarf and an orc?
Dan, can’t you tell the difference between a dwarf and an orc?
…or Alice Cooper?
…or a dwarf Alice Cooper?
I hate to admit this, but if I were still sixteen years old, I could easily be responsible for something like this. W-e-e-llll… maybe not quite this bad, but I was one sick puppy back then.
I have always had a sick sense of humor, but I’ve never tried to screw with kids. Only adults- or should I say “way older children”?.
And many of them deserved it, even though many did not.
This sounds like a punk trying to be funny. I’m not sure if I am talking about myself, or the moron(s) who did this. He/She is probably laughing their butt off, not realizing the difference between “funny” and “adolescent obnoxiousness”. I remember one time puting a “Big Rupert” (a one gallon can of draft beer availablein the late sixties) in the baby J—-‘s arms in our local creche (Yes. I am THAT old). Idiotic, but at eighteen years old, I thought it was hilarious.
Didn’t it take a while for all of us to figure this one out? I may be projecting here, but I can’t believe that I am the only human being to have gone through this “freak ’em out at any cost” stage. If I couldn’t dumbfound someone, I simply took it to the next level, and the next, if necessary. Simple enough. But I would never have put my picture on the internet – if the net existed back then. There is a limit to stupidity, even if you are 12 years old and in a hormone fit. And especially if you are a naked 11 year old. Jeebus. If I had an 11 year daughter who did that, she would not be unchained from the headboard until she was somewhere in the area of thirty years old.
It has nothing to do with anything more serious than adolescent insecurity. What better way to deal with that, than to dump on others (or lateley, show what you don’t have yet)? Oh. And don’t forget to tell your parents to F—off if they question you. De Rigeur.
Unfortunately, I had a hard time getting over that “mode”. But now, I think this insanity might be because there are so many people who think Al Gore is the new Pope, or that Dennis Kucinich is the reborn Christ. And all this, while I KNOW I am the RC! Well, sorta. My spelling and grammer do keep me pretty much in constant doubt about that conclusion.
It must be nice to be naturally toasted like Gore and Kucinich, huh? Those naked eleven year olds are the ones, who when they reach thirteen, will believe that a “carbon tax” will be good for them, and help the Earth. While Al Gore laughs down his sleeve. How tough is it to sell carbon credits to yourself?
But as I have said before, when Mt. St. Helens pays his/her/it’s carbon tax of several gazillion dollars for the carbon spewed into the air during “The Eruption”, I might consider paying between %1 and &2 of what Al Greed says I owe the “world”.
WAIT! Hold it! I think I’m going to barf…
sigh. As a player of WoW I just… all I can say is dont judge a book by his online character.
i’m not saying this guy isnt a douchenozzel but . I’ve got an undead warlock and a troll warrior and I’m still fairly well adjusted.
Well, sorta anyway.
WoW?
OMG! I bought my kide an X-box 360, a WII, and a PS3, but he insists on costing me a fortune every month to play EFG (every f’ing game) on the internet.
Elder Scrolls: Oblivion? Two Worlds? Resident evil 4? Elderscrolls: Morrowind?
Nah. They just don’t cost enough. If a game doesn’t make dad bleed money, it sucks.
He’s only eight years old, but at least I am trying to make sure he doesn’t get a web cam until he is 40.
But I do have to say – WoW is pretty kick ass. It’s just that every time I get two minutes into the game, my son decides HE wants to play. I don’t think I have even been able finish creating a character yet!
Nice elf drawing.
Saying that the other thing is an elf is just wrong, wrong, wrong. That nozzle needs to disappear back into mommy’s basement.
Chuck needs to spend more time on his moms lawn and the garden. I bet he hasn’t shoveled the stoep yet, either.
On behalf of the Orc and Goblin Rampaging Evildoers Society, I demand an apology. We may be evil, nasty, warmongering degenerates, but we are not douchenozzles.
If the apology is not forthcoming you will be hearing from our Dark Horde of lawyers.
I’m sorry, Grishnakh. It was ignorant of me.
I’m afraid I’ve led a rather sheltered life among, mostly, humans.
You are forgiven, Dan.
Pardon me – I have a Plunder Actualization Committee meeting to chair, and in three hours there is a raid. By Gruumsh, this pace is killing me – if I don’t get made vice-president by next spring I’m going to quit, form my own tribe, and go into consulting.
BTW – the chick in that picture needs to wax those eyebrows. Seriously. I may be an Orc, but whoa! She’ll have a unibrow going in a fortnight if she’s not careful.
Love handles, Grishnakh. Or at least that’s what the Elf Rogue guys I know say.
Too far forward, Dan. Now, if those lovely locks were on the back of her head…
Leverage – it’s all about leverage.