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Cremains of the Day [Dan Collins]

Some Disney watchers said park-goers said people smuggling in the cremated remains of their loved ones and then sprinkling ashes on rides has been going on for a while.

They said it started at the haunted mansion, but now the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride is growing in popularity. Al Lutz, who runs Miceage.com, told KABC that it is not unusual for people to scatter a loved one’s remains at the happiest place on earth. Disney officials said they were unaware of any confirmed ash-scattering incidents in the park and didn’t believe it to be a problem, the Los Angeles Times reported.Park officials said there was no real way of knowing if cremated remains were dumped into the “Pirates” ride.

Dear God!  Imagine someone sprinkling you in Small World!

22 Replies to “Cremains of the Day [Dan Collins]”

  1. Rob Crawford says:

    Uh, when I first saw a headline for this story, I figured people were scattering ashes on Disney property — Bay Lake, in the trees, etc. But scattering them in a ride?!

    That’s fucked up.

  2. No worries about the height restrictions for them!

  3. SarahW says:

    Hell is evil Small World.

  4. JD says:

    Feeling better, Sarah?

    It’s A Small World is one of, if not the most insidious earworms ever.

    It got approval from the Superintendent at my favorite golf course to sprinkle my ashes in a particularly pesky water hazard that my Pro V1’s are magically drawn towards. I am pretty sure there is a Bermuda Triangle / Black Hole thing going on right there.

  5. MarkD says:

    I knew there was a reason to stay away from psychiatrists. Insanity must be contagious.

    Then again, it’s probably too late. I’ve been reading this site too long.

  6. The Lost Dog says:

    I’m calling my lawyer, and changing my will. Nobody gets ANYTHING until my ashes are sprinkled in the Japanese pavillion at Epcot.

    One of my biggest epiphanies was finding that I COULD get sake at Disney World.

  7. The Lost Dog says:

    But I did have a lot of trouble finding some blow.

  8. happyfeet says:

    I love that. Ok, I really really hate Richard Bach but his line about how humans are the otters of the universe is coming to mind.

  9. JohnAnnArbor says:

    With this development, it’s a good thing they closed that cable-car Skyway thing.

  10. JD says:

    If one was sprinkled in It’s A Small World, one’s eternal soul would be subject to an eternity of torture, the likes of which have never been visited upon man.

  11. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Space Mountain’s dark.

  12. Swen Swenson says:

    But I did have a lot of trouble finding some blow.

    Keith Richards wasn’t there, I take it?

  13. mojo says:

    They’re remodeling “It’s a Small World” to better accommodate fat people.

    I kid you not. I love irony.

  14. JohnAnnArbor says:

    You know, I wonder about the employees who have to operate and maintain that ride, day after day after day. Do they need lifelong counseling afterwards?

  15. JD says:

    To better accommodate fat people? You ride in a flat bottomed boat that closely resembles a barge? I doubt there is a better way to accommodate them.

  16. McGehee says:

    They’re remodeling “It’s a Small World” to better accommodate fat people.

    The song will be rewritten, the new title to be “It’s a Large World but with Not a Whole Hell of a Lot of Elbow Room.”

  17. BJTexs says:

    Again I’m reminded of the guy who got stuck in front of the Japanese portion for almost 2 hours. Again I break out in a rash and start hyperventilating at The Horror!.

    Of course my then 2 year old son screamed in mortal terror through the entire ride so I have my own demons.

  18. JD says:

    I would have trader screaming in abject terror to it being my daughter’s favorite ride. “Let’s ride it AGAIN, Daddy”!

  19. BJTexs says:

    JD: [groan]

  20. buzz says:

    Huh. Well if they had paid the $75 entrance fee for the dead guy, I doubt the Disney people would make much of a fuss.

  21. pianoman says:

    The remains of Mary Kay Bergman, aka “Mrs. Crabtree”, “Principal Victoria”, and Mrs. McCormick from South Park were scattered in the Snow White Wishing Well by her widower husband.

    I’m not kidding.

    My wife has indicated her desired to be cremated, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she wanted to have her ashes scattered there as well. And like the Disney folks say, there’s really nothing they can do about it.

  22. kevin says:

    Rode Small World with wife and 3-year old son last month. Message of the ride? Scandi-ness is what all the peoples of the world aim to achieve. Ace would be duly frightened.

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