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Winona Ryder? [Dan Collins]

Scorpius over at SondraK’s brings us this fascinating tidbit:

Winona Ryder has joined the cast of J.J. Abram’s upcoming Star Trek, playing the mother of young Spock (Zachary Quinto), Variety reported.

If Abrams’ Trek film follows the established mythology, Ryder would play Amanda, the human woman who marries Spock’s Vulcan father, Sarek. In the original series, Amanda was played by TV veteran Jane Wyatt.

She’s invited on a Starship, and things begin to go missing? Why? Imponderable. But since Scorpius refers to her as a MILF, I’m going to broadcast, against my better judgement, an earworm I’ve been having (this is dedicated to Preston at Six Meat Buffet)– (Warning: earworm below the fold is NSFW)

To the chorus from Queen’s “Another One Bite’s the Dust”

A Mother I’d Like to Fuck
A mother I’d like to fuck
There another one goes, there another one goes
A mother I’d like to fuck, hey
MILF I’d like ta get you too
A mother I’d like to fuck

Your job is to write the rest of the lyrics. And remember, it’s Preston’s fault.

10 Replies to “Winona Ryder? [Dan Collins]”

  1. TaiChiWawa says:

    Dan, I’d call you a nasty name but I just can’t seem to think of the right word . . .

  2. McGehee says:

    That picture of Chekov’s ear is most apropos.

  3. Fred says:

    Steve walks warily down the street with the brim pulled way down low.
    Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet, trouser gun ready to go.
    Are you ready, are you ready for MILF
    are you busting to the edge of your fly
    out of the doorway strollers roll
    to the sound of big Barney

    (chorus from above)

    What do you think about getting it on
    with me and without your kids
    you’ll take it yes everything that I have
    and kick me out if I’m short

    Are you sloppy are you stretch-marked
    how wide do I have to be
    out of the doorway strollers roll
    to the sound of big Barney

    A mother I’d like to fuck
    A mother I’d like to fuck hey hey
    A mother I’d like to fuck
    A mother I’d like to fuck yeah eaheaheeaheah

    There are plenty of ways you can get a milf
    and bring her to the bed
    you can buy her
    you can beat her
    you treat her to a sundae and pay her
    when she’s broke
    but I’m ready, yes I’m ready for milf
    I’m hanging on my own two balls
    out of the doorway the strollers roll
    repeating the sound of barney
    (jerkoff)

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Superb, Fred. Now maybe we can get Preston to cover it.

  5. At first It thought this was great casting. Winona Ryder as Spock’s mom? Sure, she’s wooden and largely monotone, she displays little emotion other than childish petulance. Then I realized that the mom was the human parent.

  6. Merovign says:

    Sure, Winona may be a childish, petulant, spoiled-brat shoplifter with little acting talent, but, come on, she’s HAAAWT!!!!

    Sad, isn’t it?

  7. Well she’s cute and has large boobages, but she’s dumb as a sack of sand and a huge leftist, that kind of cranks down the hotness quotient for me.

  8. Robber Goose says:

    She was cute in Beetlejuice, she was hot in Heathers – but since then, not so much.

  9. Dan and Fred have just caused me to shit my pants with laughter. Thanks for ruining my only good pair. Damn.

  10. JD says:

    So, Preston, you going to cover it?

Comments are closed.