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Lolito [Dan Collins]

OMAHA, Neb. – A female teacher and a 13-year-old boy believed to be on the run may have crossed the California border into Mexico, a police investigator said Friday.Paul Schwarz of the Lexington Police Department in Nebraska said the white Pontiac owned by 25-year-old Kelsey Peterson crossed into Mexico around 11 p.m. on Tuesday.Peterson, a sixth-grade math teacher and basketball coach at Lexington Middle School, fled with the boy after police began investigating whether the pair had an intimate relationship, authorities said.Authorities believed the two were traveling together in Peterson’s car, and police nationwide were notified about them. Court documents said the boy was last seen Oct. 26.A judge issued an arrest warrant Monday charging Peterson with kidnapping, child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Photos here.  Friday contest: best spoof of popular song that encapsulates the issue.

BTW, I miss Jeff’s posts a lot, and I’m not posting here on the main page again until he comes back.  It’s not that it’s not fun hanging with you guys.  It’s just that it’s not the real, pharmaceutical grade PW.  New stuff over in the Pub.  I’m striking PW “proper” till Jeff comes back.

107 Replies to “Lolito [Dan Collins]”

  1. Gabriel Fry says:

    Spoof? Isn’t “Tweeter and the Monkey Man” good enough as it is?

  2. Dan Collins says:

    Link please, Gabriel.

  3. Gabriel Fry says:

    Can you link to a Traveling Wilburys song? Am I dating myself?

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Did you look for it at YouTube?

  5. JohnAnnArbor says:

    If the armadillo won’t dance, could he at least post something to the blog?

  6. The Lost Dog says:

    Jeez!

    Why would a thirteen year old boy want to screw HER? Ouch!

    He could do much better than that…

  7. Gabriel Fry says:

    They block the YouTubes at my office. The barbarians.

  8. happyfeet says:

    I think you are actively working to define down your guest-posting duties to apply pressure on an administration you are sworn to serve kind of. You belong on the front lines soldier.

  9. Jeff's Posts says:

    BTW, I miss Jeff’s posts a lot

    It’s not you, Dan. It’s us.

    We’re just not that into you.

  10. Gabriel Fry says:

    Thanks Dan. I think “Desperado” also fits the bill, completely unedited. We might be on our way to soundtracking the made-for-tv movie of this event. “Only Sixteen” by Sam Cooke, if you swap the gender and age and change “but I was a lad of sixteen” to “but I was only twenty-five” and “but I was too young to know” to “so I drove him to Mexico.” Too easy?

  11. Dan Collins says:

    I had in mind Tommy James’ “I Think We’re Alone Now”, as an index of the psychological maturity of this wackjob.

  12. Dan Collins says:

    And Jeff’s Posts: thanks for being honest with me. You bitch(es)!

  13. mojo says:

    Aha! I knew the old “broken thumbs” threat would do the trick!…

  14. anonymousleftwinger says:

    “I miss Jeff’s posts a lot, and I’m not posting here on the main page again until he comes back. It’s not that it’s not fun hanging with you guys. It’s just that it’s not the real, pharmaceutical grade PW.”

    Face-it, he’s lost the debate with the progressive blogisphere. The pathetic little girliman is probably at home in bed wearing nothing but a Rockies cap and a soiled pair of Depends and curled up in a fetal position. And no, this is not, I repeat not, a transparent attempt by a PW fan to goad him into posting again.

  15. JohnAnnArbor says:

    I had in mind Tommy James’ “I Think We’re Alone Now”, as an index of the psychological maturity of this wackjob.

    …as sung by Tiffany.

  16. JD says:

    Shut the fuck up, timmah.

    When was there a “debate” with the progressive blogs? The only thing even remotely close to a debate is Caric calling someone a racists, Amanda going on about men controlling their vi-jay-jays, and the Gleens just making shit up. When somebody dares to point out the ridiculousness of their positions, fucktards like yourself drop by to declare yourself the winners of a contest that has never, and will never transpire.

    Now, timmah, go back to fellating Caric and cutnpaste.

  17. JD says:

    Dan – Please do not quit posting on the front page. Lack of posting, over any extended period of time, will result in a decreasing audience. That is certainly nobody’s goal, no?

    Oh, and anonymousleftwinger (aka timb) is a cock knocker.

  18. Swede says:

    I thought anonymousleftwinger was a transparent attempt by a PW fan to goad Jeff into posting again.

    But then again I thought a Cement Mixer was supposed to be a good drink and not my friends just being assholes so what the fuck do I know?

  19. Gabriel Fry says:

    Oh crap. Are we En Attendant Goldstein? This could be bad.

  20. happyfeet says:

    It’s like when Superman lost his powers so he got a robot Superman to help do his super duties and that way everyone felt safe and the dark forces did not try to take advantage and Metropolis prospered and then Superman came back and I guess I’m not sure exactly what happened to the robo-Superman but um. Oh.

  21. anonymousleftwinger says:

    That’s right, JD, I just might be the dreaded Timmah! And I may be a cock knocker, but, unlike our psychologically damaged host, I can at least achieve erection! I will be insulting his manhood every day – until he comes back to put a stop to it! bwahahaha!

  22. Dan Collins says:

    Well, crap, it’s the weekend. And everything’s sucked since my Monday Night Football post.

  23. Dan Collins says:

    I just want to curl up with a twelve-pack and watch bad TV.

  24. Carin says:

    You fell for the Cement mixer trick? How sad. I was a bartender, and I really hated requests to make them.

    As for our missing host … I had to put my beloved, beautiful dog down on Monday, and now this. Do you think a sob story would help bring Jeff back?

  25. Dan Collins says:

    If you type it while clicking your heels together.

  26. Carin says:

    Should I dress up like Dirty Dorothy first?

  27. happyfeet says:

    I thought your Juan Cole post was superlative.

  28. happyfeet says:

    I love bad tv too though. Have you seen Flash Gordon?

  29. The Ouroboros says:

    Just further proof that female sexuality is every bit as perverse as males… Theyve just traditionally hid it better..

    As for you not posting to the main page again until…etc etc.. I disagree and urge you not to quit.. No offense meant to Jeff but facts is facts… In the old days he used to post a ton of offbeat humor (Martha, Jihadis, Red Pills, Billy Jack and Ward Churchill, Dolphin in a P-Coat, Judd Nelson, Leif.. The list goes on and on) Now it’s mostly socio-political commentary related to the news… with an occasional old school PW bit appearing now and then..Maybe it’s just the zeitgeist of these times or something..But you do the commentary stuff great.. No need to stop.. Just urge JG to bring the old friends around more often..

  30. daleyrocks says:

    Lost Dog – Thirteen year old boys want to screw anything that moves. Trust me on this. Some of them never grow out of the phase – just look at Glenn Greenwald.

    Yummy Yummy Yummy
    I’ve got love in my tummy

  31. MayBee says:

    I think Jeff suffered from a severe shock attack when John Cole announced he’s become a Democrat.

  32. JD says:

    timb – Please remove your hairy nutsack from Caric’s mouth.

  33. anonymousleftwinger says:

    But JD, don’t I deserve to celebrate? After all, I’ve defeated your hero. Notice how he’s unable to even attempt his usual pathetic hypermasulinist posturing.

  34. JD says:

    You have defeated nobody, except in that peanut sized brain of yours, timmah. Celebrate what? Your successful fellatio of Caric? Whispering sweet nothings in michelines’ ear? You are vile.

  35. Diana says:

    Jeff .. it arrived early. Fedex mid next week.

  36. JD says:

    Sorry folks, I should not engage that lying little crapweasel. He annoys me to no end, even moreso because he lives in the same town as me, a dark spot on our city if there ever was one. In conclusion, timb or timmah or Imjustsaying or anonymousleftwinger licks bungholes.

  37. Gabriel Fry says:

    It wasn’t you anonymousleftwinger, it was me. JD can you back me up on this? I don’t want all these second-rate scribes taking credit for my work. I’m pretty sure my mild criticism of the structure of that one post that Jeff wrote that one time is what did him in. Credit where credit is due, please.

    As soon as the enormity of my accomplishment sinks in, I’ll have a more hypermasculinist phraseology prepared. I’m still a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. Please send cash in lieu of hosannas.

  38. JD says:

    Gabriel – Not sure … I thought challeron’s comment was the straw on the camel’s back. I could be wrong. Regardless, timmah buggers goats.

  39. anonymousleftwinger says:

    But JD, I don’t live in loserville!

  40. anonymousleftwinger says:

    “timmah buggers goats”

    Ok JD, It’s time I said I’m sorry for banging your “girlfriends”.

  41. Gabriel Fry says:

    Strike the Godot comment, I think this is closer to Rashomon.

  42. dicentra says:

    I’d like to interrupt this troll-hammering to encourage you to vote for Climate Audit as best science blog. The proprietor of the site, mathematician Steve McIntyre, does yeoman’s work of dragging a fine-toothed comb through the tangle of bad climatological data out there. The amount of scientific malfeasance he’s found is staggering, to say the least.

    I don’t understand statistical analysis, but I do understand “so-and-so won’t release his data sets” or “hey, how come only the data sets that show a hockey stick get included, whereas these ones with a clear Medieval Warming Period were excluded?”

    Well worth a perusal, and definitely worth a vote. If one man can take down the AGW juggernaut, it’s he.

  43. JD says:

    Timmah – You are not very good at this.

  44. JD says:

    dicentra – Done. However, I believe that Pharyngula is a leftist blog in that category, and appears to be running away with it.

  45. anonymousleftwinger says:

    That’s right JD, keep whistling in the dark. I’m sure your hero will come and save you any moment now.

  46. JD says:

    Fucktard timmy – I do not know who you think my “hero” is. Why don’t you go back to seducing Caric by laying you balls on his chin, or go over to michelines and tell her how rational she is? You really ought to find something new to be fixated on.

  47. McGehee says:

    I’m sure your hero will come and save you any moment now.

    From what?

  48. JD says:

    McGehee – From timmah’s insightful ruminations, otherwise known as delusional babbling.

  49. JD says:

    McGehee – From timmah’s insightful ruminations, otherwise known as delusional babbling.

    We still await anything approaching a cite for how the Leftist blogs bested Jeff in debate. The debate in your head does not count.

  50. ccs says:

    Carin, does the Dorothy thing come with pictures?

  51. The Lost Dog says:

    daleyrocks –

    “Yummy Yummy Yummy
    I’ve got love in my tummy”

    You know, I’m coming close to an unmentionable age, and I STILL want to screw anything with hair that moves. Unfortunatly, I have been around enough to know that I DON’T WANT TO WAKE UP WITH THEM!!!

    What a fuckin’ bummer!

  52. JD says:

    “Yummy Yummy Yummy
    I’ve got love in my tummy”

    My roommate in college hooked up with a truly psycho gal, and after an incredibly loud session of fooling around, she said that. Being stuck in the lower bunk, and only being a few feet away, I was no longer able to contain my laughter. She was furious. I did not quit laughing for days, and almost fell over in tears every time I saw her over the next 4 years.

  53. Pablo says:

    I will be waiting at the professor’s site for you to man up and return to the field of play.

    Uh oh. Looks like we’ve got a racist with masculinity issues in the house.

    Get a Perfesser in here, stat!

  54. JD says:

    Christ would likely be pissed that you brought his name into this, timmah. You did not embarass me, you lied about me and my positions. I chose to no longer participate with you and the rest of Caric’s sycophants. I should have learned long before that, but continued to give you lying crapweasels the benefit of the doubt. In the end, it was pointless. Anyone that does not agree with you is a lying racist, homophobe this is part of the patriarchy, and endorses torture and lied our way into war. You are a sad, small person, and I KNEW you were lurking, and easily baited you into showing yourself.

    Crawl back under your rock.

  55. DeathWeasel says:

    How anonymousleftwinger, who clearly can’t spell worth shit, thinks he/she/it won a debate, I am at a loss to explain.

  56. JD says:

    Death Weasel – It is a debate that never happened, but this troll drops by to declare itself the victor nonetheless.

  57. Rick Ballard says:

    “want to screw anything with hair that moves.”

    So John Edwards is out, right? Prolly Miz Clinton too – except when she’s doing the butch thing and skipping hair spray?

    “hair that moves” has to be what, a quatenary or quinary sexual characteristic? Somethin’ new every dang day around here.

  58. JD says:

    “with hair that moves” seems kind of icky to me.

  59. Rick Ballard says:

    De gustibus non disputandum

  60. JD says:

    Rick – I have not brushed up on my Latin for a while, so I will assume that means I am right. Thanks!

  61. Rick Ballard says:

    Non c’è di che ringraziare.

  62. jamrat says:

    Well, I feel I’ve gotten my money’s worth from Jeff. Observing timmy’s obsession with him is also interesting but he ain’t getting no cake.

  63. JD says:

    Rick – I actually know what that one means! Do not ask me why, ‘cuz I have no clue.

    jamrat – Timmah is not just obsessed with Jeff G. He has his sights set on many that comment here.

  64. dicentra says:

    De gustibus non est disputandum.

    Oops. Even Latin needs a verb sometimes.

  65. JD says:

    dicentra – Even with the est inserted in there, does it still mean I was right?

  66. Carin says:

    Carin, does the Dorothy thing come with pictures?

    Not while we have a troll infestation.

  67. JD says:

    Goddam trolls.

  68. Scrapiron says:

    This will continue until the parents take back the school systems and run the NEA out of the country. Give the principal and school boards the power to walk in a class room and excort a worthless teacher off of school grounds and make sure they never set foot in another school. Today a teacher can do anything with/to a student and simply go around the corner and they’ll hire them right back.

  69. JD says:

    The kid should have held out for a hotter teacher. Just sayin’

  70. JD says:

    And, for the most part, I agree with Scrapiron. It would not surprise me in the least were the local or State NEA chapter to step up to try to protect this teacher.

  71. JD says:

    I have eaten nothing except for Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, Nestle Crunch Bars, Mountain Dew, and Tootsie Rolls since Halloween night. I think I can make it another day or two before I start having adverse effects.

  72. jamrat says:

    timmy, alphie, retardo, thersites, caric, she who will not be named…. this place does seem have an effect on some people.

  73. Dan Collins says:

    I can tell you approximately what Jeff’s thinking. I built this place, and then that crazy bitch made me take off. And I had guest posters, and eventually those who didn’t scramble to Ace’s and other places started hanging out on their threads. And it makes no difference whether it’s me or them. And I’ve still got to come up with $600 before next month.

    I appreciate his letting me ride his bike. It’s his bike, though. And I’ll never be as good at throwing stunts on it as he is. And I wish to fuck he’d come out and play.

  74. JD says:

    I will gladly hit the tipjar again. In the interim, Dan, you and Darleen and Karl, et al., are doing quite well.

  75. JD says:

    jamrat – It seems to make those that are mostly unhinged go all the way unhinged.

  76. Dan Collins says:

    Thanks, JD. That helps. But what would help most, maybe, is a note to Jeff about why he’s missed.

  77. JD says:

    Consider it done. Don’t you guys dare quit posting in the interim.

  78. jamrat says:

    JD, true that.

  79. I certainly hope he’s not falling victim to creeping whatsthepointitis. It’s a common blogosphere ailment. Sticky the fundraising post again, and see if that rouses him.

  80. daleyrocks says:

    Carin – I find I don’t need pictures. Imaginations works just fine. You might suggest that to Dorothy.

  81. McGehee says:

    I certainly hope he’s not falling victim to creeping whatsthepointitis. It’s a common blogosphere ailment.

    And if I’m not mistaken, one he already fell prey to once before. It was the general hoopla in blogdom over his return (okay, it was a mention of said return by some guy in Knoxville) that brought me here.

    I’m not sure if this ailment works like the measles, where once you’ve had it you’re immune, or if it’s like malaria where you have occasional relapses for years after.

    Wouldn’t mind terribly if it was like the measles, myself. Hate like hell if it’s like the other.

  82. anonymousleftwinger says:

    “Christ would likely be pissed that you brought his name into this, timmah. You did not embarass me, you lied about me and my positions. I chose to no longer participate with you and the rest of Caric’s sycophants. I should have learned long before that, but continued to give you lying crapweasels the benefit of the doubt. In the end, it was pointless. Anyone that does not agree with you is a lying racist, homophobe this is part of the patriarchy, and endorses torture and lied our way into war. You are a sad, small person, and I KNEW you were lurking, and easily baited you into showing yourself.”

    JD, let me suggest that you do three things:

    1) read post #15 again

    2) remind yourself that pro-wrestling isn’t real…neither is reality tv

    3) take a valium

  83. happyfeet says:

    He will hafta come back cause he left his shadow McGehee.

  84. JD says:

    anonymousmoonbat – After having read post #15 twice, you just appear twice as stupid as the first time. What debate happened, and how do you declared you and yours victors?

  85. JD, you know how when Peter Fonda shows up on this site to give his opinon on current events? Well, that’s not really the guy who did Easy Rider. Again, calm down…Timmah isn’t really stalking you.

  86. JD, Timmah is posting from within your house…get out now!

  87. JD says:

    moonbat – How do comments #86 and 87, in any way, relate to #85?

    Never said timmah was stalking me. Just pointed out that he is a little fucker that gets his jollies by posting lies about myself and others at other websites. He is a coward. A small man.

  88. JD says:

    Maintaining focus is not a strength of the moonbats, I have noticed.

  89. No JD, you didn’t say he was stalking you, instead, you said that he was “lurking” and that you had lured him into exposing himself. You made these assertions despite the fact that I hinted in my original post that I am a PW fan attempting to lure JG into posting. Even if this declaration of pretended subterfuge makes no sense, you have to admit that it has nothing on dancing armadillos. You may now feel free to pretend you were in on the joke all along….the fact that you’re paranoid isn’t an indication that someone is trying to kill you.

  90. happyfeet says:

    This one makes New Girl look like … I dunno. Kind of like that lady that used to do the camera commercials with the Hulk guy.

  91. JD says:

    I am paranoid of not one thing, douchebag. timb, who was lurking, and did post, had his post removed because he has been banned here numerous times. You, on the other hand, are tiresome. Show us the “debate” where the leftist blogs defeated Jeff, or shut the fuck up.

  92. malaclypse the tertiary says:

    Jeff, I just want to say that I think you’re important. I don’t think you’re always right, nor do I think you’re any kind of deity. I’m not, y’know, a sycophant, but damn if I don’t think you’re important; because you have skill and knowledge you’ve developed through no shortage of effort on your part for sure. But also because you have what appears to be an innate talent. It strikes me as extremely exceptional. I’ve been responsible for hiring writers (ad copywriters, but writers nonetheless) and I’ve been responsible for the care and maintenance of many other writers (again ad copywriters.) It’s somewhat apples and oranges–what you do and what ad copywriters do so I guess I won’t make some dumb comparison–but I can say this: I am consistently delighted, or inspired, or profoundly amused or all these things but almost always edified by your PW. I think the world would be considerably poorer–intellectually and aesthetically–for its absence. That said, you ever thought about writing ad copy?

    Oh, and JD: it seems almost painfully clear that you’re issuing polemics at a sock. A sock worn by a PW fan at that. I could certainly be wrong, but I don’t think I am. I tell you this because I have a neurological disorder that prevents me from feeling any compunction about saying awkward shit. Although socky–if you are indeed a sock–it’s not very nice to string JD along. Tsk.

  93. malaclypse the tertiary says:

    JD, alas, my rejoinder was too late.

  94. JD says:

    malaclypse the tertiary – Thanks for the advise. Long, long day.

  95. happyfeet says:

    Oh. anonymousleftwinger isn’t an anonymous leftwinger? I take back that thing then. Mariette Hartley. There you go.

  96. The Lost Dog says:

    “want to screw anything with hair that moves.”

    “So John Edwards is out, right? Prolly Miz Clinton too – except when she’s doing the butch thing and skipping hair spray?”

    I so hate it when you bozos make me look foolish.

    Okay! Okay!

    I should have said “Anything with hair that moves WITHOUT A DICK ON IT”.

    That clearly leaves John Edwards and Hillary out of the picture. Although, now that I think about it, I’m not so sure about Edwards.

    Whadda ya think?

    Would he be hot in a blue and white cheerleader costume (gag)?

  97. McGehee says:

    He will hafta come back cause he left his shadow McGehee.

    Jeff has a shadow McGehee?

    I’ll need to ask him to check its collar tags. Mine ran off a few months ago and there’s no telling how far it might have gone in that much time.

  98. No happyfeet, not a lefty at all….even voted for Bush. And yes, malaclypse, perhaps I should have come clean earlier, but you have to admit that this was better than post after post dedicated to how great Jeff is and how it would be swell if he returned. Anyhow, this is my last post. I promise never to torment poor JD again.

  99. Rick Ballard says:

    “Would he be hot in a blue and white cheerleader costume (gag)?”

    Wool, synthetic or cotton?

    BTW – Sometimes this blog is about language and understanding. I certainly am not directing a comment at you, just toying with words. Taranto does it every day and there are so many common phrases that require a slight explication in order to “make sense” that amusement may be found everywhere. Consider “eighty per cent of success is due to just showing up”. “for work” is understood, much as the verb “to be” in Latin, but the lack of “for work” makes a light mocking of the phrase as easy as pie.

    Hmmm, pie….

  100. Dan Collins says:

    Well, it means you’re probably still alive, which is a good start.

  101. Swen Swenson says:

    Holy Moly! Don’t even think about searching Google Images for “naughty Dorothy”.. Well, okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Ironic, isn’t it, that they could track this couple down and arrest them in Mexico in no time flat, but we can’t seem to round up the shoe bombers? Perhaps we should put the rabid wolverines at Child Protective Services in charge of anti-terrorism and the Department of Homeland Security folks in charge of protecting the morals of 13-year-old boys..

    On second thought, I’m not sure we want to do that to a whole generation of boys.

  102. Swen Swenson says:

    Oh, and give Jeff a break. I’m sure he’ll be back when he’s good & ready. If my wife is any indication, baseball withdrawal is vicious.

  103. Fow News is reporting the kid’s an illegal immigrant. So, while the teacher will be extradited, the kid’s being denied entrance to the US.

    This is one of the most creative deportations I’ve ever seen.

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