I’ve avoided posting for a long while since I don’t do news summaries, and that appears to be the focus of the site, but this seems like a good time to post blather that can be quickly forgotten.

I don’t see movies on a first-run basis. Instead, I wait for them to hit the cheapo theater down the street from me. They get movies just before the DVD is released. If you can stand to wait, you can usually see most of the stuff that gets out there, while avoiding the vast majority of garbage vying for your money. So, I will provide my quick impressions of movies I’ve seen lately. These aren’t reviews as much as thoughts. I don’t give away any important plot points.

One note: I have very low expectations from cinema, having learned my lesson when I used to see movies twice per week (that was when it was much cheaper to do so). Your mileage may vary. Ratings based on a maximum of 4 stars.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: I have never read the books nor do I plan to in the future. Having said that, I have seen all the movies. I consider this one to be the least interesting of the bunch. While I found it entertaining enough, unlike the others I have no desire to see it again. The movie seemed more interested in setting up the next movie than anything else. The characters did not move forward much and themes we’ve already seen are repeated. One would think that after all Harry has faced the adults would be more up front with him. No such luck. Also, the “kids” are getting a bit old. Harry looks 18, but I think he’s supposed to be playing a few years younger. Not their fault, but there you are. Worth renting if you’re a fan. Never really great, but never really awful, better than a lot of the crap out there. 2.5 stars.

Ratatouille: As is typical for Pixar, they actually consider writing a good script to be important when making an animated movie (e.g. “Cars,” “The Incredibles”), unlike so many others I have seen (“Robots,” for instance). This movie, while fairly predictable at points, still entertained. The comedic moments were well-integrated with the story, unlike, say, “The Wild,” in which the movie would simply stop when they wanted to throw a slapstic bone to the kiddies. The moments were also quite funny for adults, and did not seem to be pandering, though they went a bit over the top at times.

The story moved at a fairly even pace, and I only found myself wanting a little more motion a few times. About five minutes of cutting would probably help. The story about leaving home for a career in spite of the objections from your parents is a fairly common theme, but they didn’t dwell on that aspect too much. Overall I found it to be a very satisfying movie, much better than I expected. If you liked “Cars” and “The Incredibles,” as well as “Flushed Away (another better than expected movie),” you will probably like this one. 3 stars

Hairspray: I found this movie to be delightful and entertaining, and I am not one for musicals. I went just to see what Christopher Walken was going to do. He had a number with Travolta (who is in drag and wearing a fat suit) that was both funny and oddly endearing. The material is really quite odd and quirky most of the time, and the theme of racial tolerance perhaps overplayed (or maybe not), but everyone seems to play it straight. No one was smirking their way through this movie (if they were I totally missed it), which would have ruined it.

If you cannot stand musicals you will hate this movie. There is very little regular dialog. If you find cardboard characters to be annoying you may not like this movie either, since character development is slim. They play to stereotypes to keep things moving along. If fifties music bothers you, don’t bother. If you can ignore such things, you might find yourself immensely entertained and uplifted. The music and singing is good, especially the R&B stuff, and my mood was unusually elevated when I left. 3 stars.

Update: The non-musical version of this was originally filmed by John Waters and Starred Divine as the mother and Rikki Lake as the chunky singing star. Thanks to gahrie in the comments for reminding me.

Transformers: Just like Harry Potter, saying anything about this movie is probably a moot point since the audience will be self-selecting. So. This movie is all about the eye candy, and you get that. You will have to ignore some issues with the hardware, the software, and the physics to be able to enjoy this movie. I found myself complaining often, particularly one scene involving an F-35. The computer stuff was equally annoying, since what was being attempted was at times completely impossible.

The movie could have used some cutting. I found the repeated awkward teenage moments of a boy trying to chase the hottie chick to be a waste of time. I have no need to relive my life on screen, nor do I need it pounded into me. A little set-up of the situation would be all that is required. Barring that, the adolescent crap was mostly stuck in the beginning, and after that was over the movie moved along in a predictable manner. If you’re looking for more than the outline of a story, you may be disappointed. You’re there for the robots, and you get them. The on-the-fly transformations from one form to another (say a plane zooming to the ground and changing into a robot) were very well done and fun to watch. Robots kick ass and take names. Little robots screw with humans, big ones step on them. Overall this movie is exactly what one would expect. 3 1/2 stars for visuals, and being generous a 2 for the rest of it.

Live Free or Die Hard: This one is a little older, but I thought of it when writing my thoughts on Transformers. LF or DH is a live-action cartoon, pure and simple. Unlike the first Die Hard, which actually attempted to be plausible, this one ignored plausibility completely. Again we have ridiculous stuff involving computers, but that’s just the beginning. Some of the action scenes are so over the top I found myself laughing at what was happening. I was not alone in my reaction. Forget about physics. Forget about the possibility of a human surviving extreme cases of friction and impact. Forget about reality, it has no relation to this movie.

Having said that, I had a good time. It was fun. It was very dumb. The plot is very familiar. Depending on your taste, probably worth seeing once. I doubt it’s one to watch again. I would watch “The Last Boy Scout” again rather than this one again, but I have strange tastes. 2.5 stars.