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Newspeak [Dan Collins]

Mugging. Rape. Massacre. Stalking. Journalism. Hero. Villain. Fascist. Patriot.

Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the United States, a survey of visitors and residents showed on Friday.

First, I’ve known some very beautiful women from Philly (though, alas, not in the biblical way). Second, have these people ever been to my hometown, Milwaukee?

13 Replies to “Newspeak [Dan Collins]”

  1. dicentra says:

    OMG. The “Patriot” should be “Helen of Troy” or summat. And here I thought mumuus were a fail-safe strategy for coverups.

  2. corvan says:

    Oh Hell, Dan, I’m as hard on the media as anyone, but the picture of the broad in the mumu? I just ate.

  3. Was that a belly button I saw dangling by her ankles? That just ain’t right.

    Please tell me she’s not from Milwaukee. I live nearby and I’ve seen my fair share of heffers and pulling guards but gawd damn!

  4. Steph says:

    I live just outside bthe beloved city of Filthadelphia. And its quite true that, other than my beloved wife of 22 years, everyone here, including me, is ugly. How else do you ‘splain our unremitting desire to pull the big number 2 lever, year after godforsaken fugly year. Not out of stupidity (no argument forthcoming on that), but cause, jeebus, we got to elect someone uglier than ourselves. John Street?Check. Ed Rendell? Triple-check. Hilary? .ding ding ding … we’ve got a winner.

  5. Moron Pundit says:

    I find it incredibly hard to believe that Milwaukee rated higher. If it did, Philadelphia must be hell.

  6. clarice says:

    Now just one minute.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Enoch_Root says:

    Yes, it’s true… I curently reside in Milwauke… and “other than my beloved wife of [15] years, everyone here, including me, is ugly.” My kids are cute though. And, well there are couple outstanding specimens in marketing where I work with wonderful attributes and tight shapely and really worthy of a good … I digress… yes, Milwaukee is sadly a town of double-wides and dumpers. The good looking ones move to Tempe first chance they get.

  8. Alec Leamas says:

    “I find it incredibly hard to believe that Milwaukee rated higher. If it did, Philadelphia must be hell.”

    I live in Philadelphia and I don’t notice that people are particularly unattractive.

    I also question the accuracy of a poll that groups Dallas/Fort Worth as among the least attractive as well – Don’t they manufacture hot blondes that call you “Suga” in Dallas by the lot?

  9. Enoch_Root says:

    Alec – don’t argue. don’t think. just believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. BJTexs says:

    Wll, my wife is quite lovely, one would say a trophy wife. I was born in Massachusetts where everyone is beautiful and CARES VERY DEEPLY ABOUT THE CHILDRENSES!

  11. Dan Collins says:

    I guess I’d be a trophy husband. If she had my head mounted on a plaque.

  12. I was born and raised in Philadephia.

    I’m going to agree with the article.

Comments are closed.