nervous militant:  “Hand me that Snicker’s bar, will you, Halil?  I’ll be damned if my last meal on earth is gonna be moldy dates and freakin’ chick peas.”* update:  “You know what?—pass me that bottle of Coke, too.  No more of this Mecca Cola piss for me.  For once, I want the real thing.”

“We were just outside of Barstow when BUSH IS THE DEVIL!  THE DEVIL!  Now get off my land before I sick the prairie trolls on you.  Mean little fuckers, those prairie trolls—teeth as sharp as an Enron lawyer’s.  They’ll be through muscle and tendon and sucking marrow from your femur before you can say dos Dexedrine, padre. “Now hurry up, scoot.  You ain’t Ahab and I ain’t your white whale. 

From the Cincinnati Post: Veterans at the Cinergy Center gave Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry a polite if not enthusiastic reception Wednesday at the Veterans of Foreign Wars national convention. Applause for the Massachusetts senator was mostly light during his 35-minute speech, in which he criticized President Bush’s plan to bring 70,000 foreign-based U.S. troops back to America. Kerry said if he is elected, he’d add 40,000 more U.S. troops

From the Cincinnati Post: Veterans at the Cinergy Center gave Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry a polite if not enthusiastic reception Wednesday at the Veterans of Foreign Wars national convention. Applause for the Massachusetts senator was mostly light during his 35-minute speech, in which he criticized President Bush’s plan to bring 70,000 foreign-based U.S. troops back to America. Kerry said if he is elected, he’d add 40,000 more U.S. troops

THK:  “My God—it’s like chocolate!  In a little bottle!  How thoroughly decadent! “Bring me several more.  And a mink bib.”

…Speaking of which, if Amber Frey were a bed of long-grain wild rice, do you suppose Scott Peterson would’ve slept with her that first night—or would he simply have gobbled her down with a piece of grilled rockfish and a small arugula salad, then gone home to Laci and offered her a footrub? Sturgeon. 

…Speaking of which, if Amber Frey were a bed of long-grain wild rice, do you suppose Scott Peterson would’ve slept with her that first night—or would he simply have gobbled her down with a piece of grilled rockfish and a small arugula salad, then gone home to Laci and offered her a footrub? Sturgeon. 

…y’know—just in case Allah did mean “raisins.” Because raisins—while certainly quite delicious—are decidedly not worth a scalpful of 7.62 mm minigun holes.* update:  Unless the 7.62 minigun holes like to do the freaky, that is.

nervous militant:  “It is easy, Halil.  Simply force the mini-Satan Iverson to take 10-15 shots from beyond the 3-point arc by collapsing your perimeter defense and doubling up on the big-Satan, Duncan, inside.  Then box out carefully.  “The American hegemons will surely crumble under the weight of their own selfish materialist decadence—and we would save ourselves the trouble of having to festoon a customized explosive device inside one of Carmelo

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