August 6, 2007
the prude’s lament, 3: a haiku

“Sometimes, when I look
at the hole in a donut,
I blush and curse God.”

44 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by Ouroboros on 8/6 @ 4:16 pm #

    Sometimes when I read
    These strangely perverse haikus
    I think “Lord, he’s queer..”***

    ***meaning ‘odd’, not ‘gay’.. not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    tw: illegal before Damn right it was!

  2. Comment by McGehee on 8/6 @ 4:20 pm #

    Sometimes, when I look
    at the hole in a donut,
    I think, “Why is that empty when it could contain some tasty custard filling?”

    (TW: Mind, uttermost — well, yeah. This is PW, after all.)

  3. Comment by me on 8/6 @ 4:21 pm #

    So much for glazed donuts in the morning.

  4. Comment by ahem on 8/6 @ 4:24 pm #

    Sometimes, when I look
    at a Donut Hole, I think
    ‘Just one testicle?’

  5. Comment by Jim in KC on 8/6 @ 4:31 pm #

    Sometimes, a donut is just a donut.

  6. Comment by happyfeet on 8/6 @ 4:32 pm #

    I really like donuts. Chocolate especially. Not those stupid cakey donuts though, but if you’ve got a bunch of donuts that have been sitting out all day, the cakey ones seem to hold up better.

  7. Comment by Aldo on 8/6 @ 4:46 pm #

    You are the greatest poet of your generation.

    STB, is that you?

  8. Comment by Robin Roberts on 8/6 @ 4:48 pm #

    OK, I got this one.

    And for the people following at home, what did I not complain about for the first time?

  9. Comment by Darrell Gregg on 8/6 @ 4:50 pm #

    Because of the longing!!!!!

  10. Comment by fahs ibair on 8/6 @ 5:06 pm #

    You got nothing. I disowned my kids for playing croquet.

  11. Comment by Carin on 8/6 @ 5:33 pm #

    Amanda Marcotte’s vagina is not pleased with the comparison.

  12. Comment by Major John on 8/6 @ 5:36 pm #

    Curse not the donut or it’s Creator – purchase apple fritters instead! God’s own sugary blessing upon the land.

  13. Comment by JD on 8/6 @ 5:37 pm #

    glazed donuts – given this context … ew.

  14. Comment by JD on 8/6 @ 5:38 pm #

    Carin – Must you ruin my evening ? My minds eye just went blind.

  15. Comment by Pablo on 8/6 @ 5:47 pm #

    There.

    How’s that?

  16. Comment by JD on 8/6 @ 5:48 pm #

    Somebody set my cock ring on fire !!!!!!!!!!!! Bastards.

  17. Comment by Carin on 8/6 @ 5:49 pm #

    Pablo, is that what Marcotte’s vagina looks like when it’s mad?

  18. Comment by JD on 8/6 @ 5:51 pm #

    Carin – That did it. I puked a little in the back of my mouth, the first time, and a lot, that time. Ugh.

  19. Comment by Pablo on 8/6 @ 6:04 pm #

    I think that’s “happy”, Carin. Angry looks more like this. Or so I’m told.

  20. Comment by jon on 8/6 @ 6:45 pm #

    Times akin to these
    Make me ken why I harden
    At the crack of dawn

  21. Comment by JD on 8/6 @ 6:46 pm #

    DISGUSTING, Pablo, yet hysterical.

  22. Comment by N. O'Brain on 8/6 @ 7:07 pm #

    So, God is like….Homer Simpson?????

    [Blessed are the Cheesemakers!]

  23. Comment by The Lost Dog on 8/6 @ 7:27 pm #

    “Sometimes, when I look at the hole in a donut,
    I blush and curse God.”

    Me too, but I think it has more to do with too much tequila on any given night in Ithaca back in the early seventies.

    Thank God for what now appears to be a large grey area in my memorable epic bio…

  24. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 8/6 @ 7:54 pm #

    Andrew Sullivan
    Is composing a response
    On cream-filled Long Johns.

    Drat, now I’m all hungry.

  25. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 8/6 @ 7:58 pm #

    The lying shitstain
    known as Scott Thomas Beauchamp
    recants his story.

  26. Comment by doritos on 8/6 @ 8:08 pm #

    God gave you that hole (it’s in the constitution) and the military defends that hole.

    Why do you have problem with the hole?

    TWs: smoked This — that’s unAmerican.

  27. Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 8/6 @ 8:13 pm #

    I can’t bring myself to click on a single link in this thread.

    TW = understood with

  28. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 8/6 @ 8:15 pm #

    The Sanity Inspector: it’s definitely safe to click on the Beauchamp recantation link. Ace has the flaming skull out and everything.

  29. Comment by buzz on 8/6 @ 8:25 pm #

    That’s just sick. Unless, you know, it’s a really hot donut.

  30. Comment by JD on 8/6 @ 8:30 pm #

    Sanity Inspector – I took one for the team, and my reaction was genuine. I do not blame you for your reticence.

    doritos – Incomprehensible as always.

  31. Comment by Christopher Walken on 8/6 @ 8:57 pm #

    A taco at times
    Brings to mind the fairer’s sex
    Donuts not so much

    tw: borderers fingered… you cant make this stuff up

  32. Comment by Ouroboros on 8/6 @ 8:58 pm #

    Oops.. That wasnt CW.. It was just me.

  33. Comment by Danny on 8/6 @ 9:08 pm #

    Jeff, this is fantastic… and God IS like Homer Simpson (at least I imagine that to be the case).

    For more haiku satisfaction, check out http://haikuforyou.org, a collaborative internet art project that is almost as delicious as a doughnut.

  34. Comment by alppuccino on 8/7 @ 3:49 am #

    If all doughnuts were made
    with hearty whole grain goodness
    I’d shite like a goose.

  35. Comment by nk on 8/7 @ 6:21 am #

    I’m stealing it.

  36. Comment by No One of Consequence on 8/7 @ 7:42 am #

    When you look into
    The donut hole, the hole is
    Looking back at you

  37. Comment by Sticky B on 8/7 @ 9:21 am #

    When God made man, he made him out of string.
    He had a little too much, so he made a little thing.
    When God made woman, he made her out of lace.
    He didn’t have enough, so he left a little space.

    Thank you God for space.

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