“Texas high school stabbings: 1 student killed, 3 others injured, police say”
Wait, you mean school fatalities can be caused by something other than an assault weapon? Because I had heard otherwise.
Reached for comment, a Beretta 9mm semi-auto pistol just kinda shrugged, then, remarkably, didn’t shoot anyone — though gun-control advocates were quick to point out that it probably really wanted to, and for that reason alone should be banned banned banned!*