May 1, 2012

“Dolphin who got stuck in California wetlands may be the victim of BULLYING”

Its only crime? It wanted to shove its bottle nose into Brad Pitt’s asshole, lovingly, without being judged. And a repressive and bigoted pod of conservative Christian dolphins refused to let it!

At least, that’s how Dan Savage tells it.

(h/t Dan Collins)

Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:43am
14 comments | Trackback

Comments (14)

  1. vermontaigne says May 1, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Stop bullying the non-human person! Continue blenderizing the non-person humans!

  2. dicentra says May 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

    How do we know the stranded dolphin isn’t a total douche?

    In which case, shunning it would be fully justified.

  3. LBascom says May 1, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Could be a criminal dolphin sentenced to dolphin jail.

  4. palaeomerus says May 1, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Dolphins may sometime help swimmers and kill sharks but they also rape and murder in groups. They are the bikers of the sea. At least they don’t have the bomb yet.

  5. happyfeet says May 1, 2012 at 11:50 am

    it’s like a parable

  6. JohnInFirestone says May 1, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Related?

  7. JohnInFirestone says May 1, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    How’s the wee man, Jeff? How is everyone adapting?

  8. dicentra says May 1, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    Speaking of bullying, every bit transmitted over the tubez is being kept by the NSA, against the Constitution, and the programmers who wanted to build a capture program that wouldn’t violate the 4th amendment were persecuted and hounded and destroyed for blowing the whistle.

    The line-crossing started in the Bush II admin and grew exponentially with Obama.

  9. Jeff G. says May 1, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    How’s the wee man, Jeff? How is everyone adapting?

    Lots of sleep on his part, not much at all on mine.

  10. McGehee says May 1, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Dolphins may sometime help swimmers and kill sharks but they also rape and murder in groups. They are the bikers of the sea.

    But they do make the canned tuna taste better.

  11. B Moe says May 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Director of Marine Animal Rescue Peter Wallerstein told the Los Angeles Times that dolphins ‘can be very aggressive towards each other. They’re not the sweet, loving, gentle animals portrayed by the movies and the cartoons. They do have a dark side.’

    Dolphins are Proggressive. Who knew?

  12. leigh says May 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Rapist dolphins are well documented.

    If they’re so smart, why can’t they stay out of the tuna nets? Rapists of the sea, die!

  13. RI Red says May 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    I have a feeling that I am going to get sick and tired of the word “bully”. Just like “hate crime”.

  14. cranky-d says May 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Is the dolphin wearing a pea coat?

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