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Locutus of Borg [Dan Collins; UPDATED]

Hahahahahahaha!

via Dan Riehl, this seems to be the videographer’s MySpace page. A sample:

I’m a revolutionary, organizer for Students for Democratic Society, SigEp, Cuban, Italian, Polish, Lebanese, a pianist, a singer, an actor, a filmmaker. I go to Muhlenberg College in Allentown. I’m studying Political Economy and Film Studies…

suze at Villainous Company comments.

Related: Coward Rupert Murdoch blows opportunity for frank national discussion of race baiting in America.

Dan Riehl on Roy Subrosa, Village Voice right-blog watchdog, his coverage of the Tea Party movement.

Jules on Gleens(es): How many updates can we force him into? I’m making this a drinking game for Mardi Gras.

Why nuclear subs should have whiskers.

More on potato-headed fag hunter Moyers:

As the Post reported, the active search for Johnson administration homosexuals got going just a month before the 1964 presidential election after police arrested top Johnson aide Walter Jenkins as he was performing oral sex on a retired Army sergeant in a YMCA men’s room near the White House.

Johnson tried to suppress the news of the arrest and asked his underlings to see if it couldn’t be proved that Jenkins had been framed by Republicans. Both strategies failed, which we know in detail thanks to the 2001 book Reaching for Glory: Lyndon Johnson’s Secret White House Tapes, 1964-1965, edited and annotated by historian Michael Beschloss. The secretly taped conversation can be keyword searched on Amazon.

Johnson and his people worried that Sen. Barry Goldwater, R-Ariz., the Republican candidate for president, would capitalize on the Jenkins arrest to win the election. According to Robert Dallek’s Lyndon B. Johnson: Portrait of a President, Goldwater declined to take political advantage of the arrest. Dallek writes, “When reporters on his campaign plane pressed him for a comment, he would only speak ‘off the record.’ ‘What a way to win an election,’ he said, ‘Communists and cocksuckers.’ “

*******

Send additional Moyers news to slate.pressbox@gmail.com. (E-mail may be quoted by name in “The Fray,” Slate’s readers’ forum; in a future article; or elsewhere unless the writer stipulates otherwise. Permanent disclosure: Slate is owned by the Washington Post Co.)

He tapped his foot in a stall at the airport in Minneapolis.

82 Replies to “Locutus of Borg [Dan Collins; UPDATED]”

  1. Slartibartfast says:

    Oh, good grief.

  2. Slartibartfast says:

    “We’re going to democratically vote on the law of gravity. We’ll get back with you when we’re done.”

  3. Pablo says:

    We’re using consensus!!!

    Absolutely hilarious. There’s some great stuff on this at NYU Local, whose editor was reporting from inside the barricades. A couple of examples here and here.

  4. JHoward says:

    They probably drink corporate water. The Man, that is. The Man drinks corporate water.

  5. Bob Reed says:

    What a bunch of losers, trying to capture the glorious revolutionary vibe that they’re birkenstock wearing professors romantically likely relate to them…

    DISSENT!

  6. BJTexs says:

    The parallel narrative of “democratic process” and “civil disobedience” and “F#&%ING LYING SNAKES” is pure comedy gold.

    “Come now, Che-Che, we haven’t yet reached consensus on the name calling rhetoric. Everybody, please state your preference on the proper curses and derogatory labels for the fascist pigs.”

  7. JD says:

    Rupert Murdoch is a dumb ass. My “apology” would have been signficantly different.

    Last week, we made a mistake. We ran a cartoon that mocked that farsical legislation otherwise known as the stimulus package. Today I want to personally apologize to any reader who felt offended. I personally apologize for your lack of education, your inability to know the difference between who signs a bill and who writes a bill, and your overall pig-headed ignorance.

    Over the past couple of days, I have spoken to a number of people and I now better understand the hurt this cartoon has caused. I understand that there are those amongst us, the perpetually outraged, the race-baiters, and the misery pimps, that will use anything to advance their cause, even when their claims do not stand up to basic scrutiny. At the same time, I have had conversations with Post editors about the situation and I can assure you – without a doubt – that the only intent of that cartoon was to mock a badly written piece of legislation. It was not meant to be racist, but unfortunately, it was interpreted by many as such. And we all know, interpretation and bastardization of language is a standard practice for the professional victim class.

    We all hold the readers of the New York Post in high regard and I promise you that we will seek to be more attuned to the sensitivities of our community. In the future, we will get prior approval from the race-hustlers before running a news article, cartoon, or editorial. We realize that this will be a fruitless endeavor, because those that were offended by a cartoon comparing Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to a Xanax-eating wine-drinking chimp are going to find some reason for outrage no matter how hard we try.

    Good day, sirs.

    or

    I apologize that you are too ignorant to breathe without cue cards. I apologize that you insist on creating racial situations where none exist. I apologize that you are so bone-jarringly stoooopid that you do not know who wrote the first stimulus bill. I apologize that your life is obviously so difficult. I apologize that you not only misunderstood me, but are incapable of ever understanding.

  8. happyfeet says:

    Rupert only thinks about Rupert. This is why his children hate him. He’s of poor character. Mr. Chernin was not of poor character. It’ll be interesting to see who replaces him. Whoever it is will have to negotiate their contract very carefully, because of Rupert’s being of poor character and all.

  9. happyfeet says:

    I haven’t heard what Chernin is doing for sure. Probably make movies, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes and gets in bed with Baracky in some capacity. He could do both.

  10. Abe Froman says:

    I’m sure Murdoch wants to tell them all to go fcuk themselves but when you’re in a position like Murdoch is in it is very difficult to stand on principle over something like this. He’s a businessman first. I was in the center of something similar and the amount of heat that came down from the professional grievance community made it impossible for the company to ignore, even if we were laughing through our apology.

  11. JD says:

    It should never be hard to stand on principle, especially over something like this. I understand the business dynamics of this, but it is not like Sharpton and his merry little band of race-baiters were tuning in to watch Fox, or racing to the newsstand to buy the Post.

  12. JD says:

    This makes me think of that most proper rant from the English dude that Dan posted a couple weeks ago, and which I cannot locate.

  13. Abe Froman says:

    I realize Sharpton and company aren’t directly able to affect Newscorp’s bottom line, but companies are gutless entities and if they can make it go away by apologizing they will. If that is insufficient for the racial racketeers then you get into an area where taking a stand may be necessary but it’s expecting too much to think a token apology amounts to capitulation.

  14. pdbuttons says:

    I was playing ‘rock-paper-scissors’ the other day
    but everytime I threw down- the bastard kept saying ‘black’
    well played sir, well played indeed

  15. B Moe says:

    They probably drink corporate water. The Man, that is. The Man drinks corporate water.</i

    It’s the new Kool Aid.

  16. Techie says:

    I told you, we’re an anarco-sydicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week..

  17. Mr. Pink says:

    100 bucks they all voted for Obama.

  18. SDN says:

    JD, actually, they can affect Newscorp’s bottom line rather directly.

    “Mr. FCC man, that racist isn’t sensitive enough. Pull his license.”

    “OK”

    I swear I had a revenue stream here…..

  19. SarahW says:

    Corporate water. hahaha.

  20. JD says:

    Good point, SDN. But, this incident is not going to be a tipping point for something like that. A person inclined to do something that stoooopid would not need this to do so.

  21. Pablo says:

    They probably drink corporate water. The Man, that is. The Man drinks corporate water.

    “Hey, has anyone seen my ipod? It was with my Macbook last time I saw it.”

    pdbuttons @ #15, bravo. Very nicely done.

  22. Mr. Pink says:

    WTF is corporate water?

  23. Roland THTG says:

    As a occasional/casual participant in some of the ’70s ruckuses (What can I say? Some of the girls were hot., I have to say: By Damn those people are pussies!
    No gas, no fire hoses, no head beaters, WTF???

    BRUTALITY!!!!!1 Help I’m being oppressed!

  24. Joe says:

    I again thank Dan Collins and Protein Wisdom for taking on the role of being the Jane Goodall of current American chimpanzee culture.

  25. JD says:

    Mr Pink – Perrier

  26. Froederick Kennewick says:

    You laugh at these students, but one day they will all have coveted and hard to get MFA degrees in literature and become our future leaders of baristas all over this great land.

  27. Mr. Pink says:

    Perrier is from France I thought they were acceptably socialist?

  28. B Moe says:

    WTF is corporate water?

    You aren’t fooling anybody, dude.

  29. urthshu says:

    They were manning the barricades, man. In the belly of the beast.

  30. Pablo says:

    Dasani is evil. And Perrier is part of the evil black baby killing Nestle conglomerate and therefore evil.

    Also, Gaza.

  31. Mr. Pink says:

    Where does Vitamin Water fit in to all this crap, fascist tool of AIPAC?

  32. lee says:

    John Legend told me that chimp cartoon was offensive, so I don’t understand the cavalier attitude around here.

    Hellooo, he’s a musician!

    Ya’all are racists.

  33. urthshu says:

    Really though, its like some geek Shadowrun LARP group. “OK, now we’ve gotta confer on our next moves. I call a timeout, GM, is that OK?”

    “Lessee now, the Corporation has seized initiative. Anybody got any C4? No? Shit.”

    “I’m a Street Samurai! Let me at ’em!”

    “No, dude! You’ll only escalate the conflict right now. We need to co-ordinate the next round carefully.”

    “OMG! They %^#!!$! TOUCHED ME!!”

    “Roll a d20 for the save!”

  34. N. O'Brain says:

    Did you ever go into a sophisticated restaurant and ask for a Perrier and water?

  35. B Moe says:

    Never forget that cops aggro to stupid.

  36. Pablo says:

    Where does Vitamin Water fit in to all this crap, fascist tool of AIPAC?

    It being a Coca Cola product, it is inherently evil. That is, it was, until the redemption.

  37. Wewonsuckit says:

    Its going to take someone who doesn’t care about the long term impact to stand up to racebaiters like Sharpton. And unfortunately, for both sides of the issues, the papers and the racebaiters, its all about the money they make from either selling papers or selling racial tension. We end up caught in the middle of it and the truth suffers.

  38. John Cheshire says:

    Rupert Murdoch is a capitulating shitbag. Even the original appology did not go far enough. Instead of saying, “to those who were offended by the image, we apologize.” I would have said, “to those that were offended by the image, you need to solve your woeful ignorance regarding the stimulus bill or stop being a race-baiting shit weasel.

    -I appologize to little piles of shit everywhere (except for Bill Maher) for the use of their likeness as an insult. Furthermore I appologize to all bags for same offense. I appologize to shit, weasels and shit weasels for my use of their nomenclature as an insult. I futhermore apologize to the word appology for misspelling appology and appologize repetedly through this rant. I appologize to pigs for the use of the word rant. I apologize to the english language for completely ignoring proper grammer and punctuation.-

    I denounce myself.

  39. Joe says:

    As the late Joseph Campbell once said to Bill Moyers:

    “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. The problem with you Bill is you have given over your life to a big fat fucking douchbag. That does not make you a hero Bill, that makes you a toady of a big fat fucking douchebag. Goddamn, I have to follow my bliss and get as far away from you as I can get.”

  40. happyfeet says:

    That New York Times editorial really is kind of unfathomable stupid.

    Two nuclear missile submarines — one British, one French — armed with a likely total of well more than 100 thermonuclear warheads collided under the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month. It’s a terrifying reminder of how many of these hugely destructive weapons are still routinely deployed and how little thought is given to keeping them as safe and secure as possible.

    When nuclear subs crash to absolutely no noxious effect that is not a terrifying reminder of anything. Actually it’s sort of reassuring I think.

    President Obama must move quickly to revive arms negotiations with the Russians — committing to deep reductions both in deployed weapons and the many thousands more in storage. He must then bring the British, French and Chinese into the talks.

    I think this might actually be a relatively harmless way for Baracky to pass the time. Definitely shouldn’t dismiss this out of hand.

    Fortunately, the damage to the submarines was minor, and the warheads were not compromised. British and French missiles, like those of the United States, are protected against accidental launch or detonation of their warheads. But a stronger impact could have sent both subs and their crews to the bottom and possibly dispersed plutonium into surrounding waters.

    The warheads on the two submarines that collided could, if ever launched, kill millions of people. And Britain and France together have far fewer than 1,000 nuclear warheads in their arsenals. The United States and Russia still have more than 20,000.

    President Obama must move quickly to revive arms negotiations with the Russians — committing to deep reductions both in deployed weapons and the many thousands more in storage. He must then bring the British, French and Chinese into the talks.

    The most important missiles to retain in any shrinking arsenal would be those based on submarines. Because they are quiet and constantly moving, they are essentially invulnerable to pre-emptive attack; there is less pressure to use them or lose them. That advantage is also at the root of this month’s accident.

    The four nuclear navies operating in the Atlantic — American, British, French and Russian — refuse to disclose any information about which parts of the ocean their missile submarines operate in. Such accidents are rare. But they can and should be made rarer. That can be done without compromising security.

    All that would have to happen is for the nuclear navies to agree on respective cruising depths (like airplanes do to prevent midair collisions). Their actual locations would remain secret; they could be anywhere in the Atlantic. And these assigned depths could even be rotated every few months between the navies so that no one could possibly feel advantaged or disadvantaged.

  41. happyfeet says:

    oops. After the passing the time part all that rest was supposed to not be there.

  42. I nominate Pablo to be the, um, Facilitator.

    (you can thank me later, Carin)

  43. Roland THTG says:

    Ok guys, who wants to be scribe?

  44. Mikey NTH says:

    The Emo kids took over the food court. And the cops that arrested them weren’t even armed.

    How’s that for your revolution? Not only aren’t you worth a beat-down, the cops are afraid you would start crying if you saw a weapon.

    Utter, complete, total, epic fail.

  45. Kirk says:

    Yay, #15. Those darkies sure get over on everybody as you so carefully point out! I agree with “Pablo.” They’re coming for our public treasury and we need to do something.

  46. happyfeet says:

    Kirk is an effective communicator I think.

  47. Dan Collins says:

    Moby Kirk? Nah, doesn’t sound quite right . . .

  48. Pablo says:

    It’s too late, Kirk. Unless you’ve got a trump, you’re all done. You should probably run and hide.

  49. Silver Whistle says:

    Alex the revolutionary is a ……. fratboy? From the SigEp website:

    To complete this challenge, brothers must complete a significant community service project, engage in sound mind and sound body activities, and actively prepare for life after college.

    Good luck with that, Alex.

  50. Cowboy says:

    Blimps have whiskers. Just like mice. Really.

    I rode in the Goodyear blimp once. Slow and noisy–flew over a zoo and the animals went totally berserk.

  51. Cowboy says:

    You know, apropos of, um, nothing.

  52. Sdferr says:

    Submarines and satellites bumping
    In the night
    Unseen clouds of debris
    Extra vaginally

    Burma Shave

  53. alppuccino says:

    Who knew they could read?

  54. Slartibartfast says:

    When nuclear subs crash to absolutely no noxious effect that is not a terrifying reminder of anything. Actually it’s sort of reassuring I think.

    I think the French sub surrendered just prior to contact, maybe.

  55. BJTexs says:

    It’s a terrifying reminder of how many of these hugely destructive weapons are still routinely deployed and how little thought is given to keeping them as safe and secure as possible.

    That statement is so mind numbingly stupid and transcendent in it’s complete ignorance of military procedures for nuclear armed subs that … that … that …

    No, i just can’t! I’ll probably give myself a stroke. One of our Navy vets will have to weigh in on the astonishingly moronic idiocy of that sentence.

  56. BJTexs says:

    too late … AAACK!!! [plop]</i.

  57. alppuccino says:

    It’s a terrifying reminder of how many of these hugely destructive weapons are still routinely deployed and how little thought is given to keeping them as safe and secure as possible.

    I thought this was talking about newspapers.

  58. BJTexs says:

    Why do I have the feeling that the the little pissant who wrote that sentence wets himself if a serviceman in uniform gets to close to him?

    Now I really must go THINK, THINK ABOUT SECURING OUR NUCLEAR THINGS BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN TOO LITTLE THOUGHT ABOUT NUCLEAR THINGS AND SECURING THEM!!11ELEVENTY!11

    Professional journalism at its finest. The best part is that there are a couple of million torheads nodding and hurumphing about the LACK OF THOUGHT!!

  59. Bob Reed says:

    Two nuclear missile submarines — one British, one French — armed with a likely total of well more than 100 thermonuclear warheads collided under the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month. It’s a terrifying reminder of how many of these hugely destructive weapons are still routinely deployed and how little thought is given to keeping them as safe and secure as possible.”

    This statement is so astonishingly stupid that I don’t know where to begin…

    It was a freak accident. It in no way refects some sort of institutional laxity or capricious operation of the subs involved. As the article mentioned, primarily it was due to the very stealthy nature of the boats. And, I can assure all that the military is very serious about their nuclear weapons, and that is reflected in the way they are deployed…

    Anyway, this was simply an entry point for the argument they were trying to build about nuclear disarmament; and was a clumsy and contrived one at that…

  60. BJTexs says:

    Wait a minute, Bob … you’ve actually thought about this!?!?eleventy!?!?

    I’m so disillusioned. NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS!!!

  61. BJTexs says:

    HTML POWERS: DEACTIVATE!

    (h/t mcgehee)

  62. Pablo says:

    How funny is this? Funny enough for the United States Senate? Wouldn’t it be hilarious if the President was assassinated? AAAAhahahahahahaaaaa!

    Oh, not this President. That President. God, I’m not a racist or anything. Funny, right?

  63. BJTexs says:

    Linky is stinky, Pablo.

  64. Sdferr says:

    That link is pulling up a 404 Pabs. What’s it?

  65. […] via Protein Wisdom. […]

  66. Pablo says:

    The link in #64 works. I really, really want to know what Al Sharpton thinks about that.

  67. Mr. Pink says:

    Wow his one friend on his myspace page is smoking. I just friend requested both him and a couple of his girlfriends. Let’s see what pans out.

  68. Ernie G says:

    Perhaps the subs’ GPS beacons could be restricted so that only a few receivers could read them, say, the New York Times or Senator Feinstein’s office. I’m sure that we could trust them with this information.

  69. geoffb says:

    Whenever I think about nuclear disarmament I don’t think about the USA, Britain, or France.. Others seem to come to mind.

  70. guinsPen says:

    @64

    Yikes. And I’d like to hear Senator-Stealect Fanken’s thoughts.

  71. guinsPen says:

    Frak.

  72. geoffb says:

    Sen. Fraken?

  73. guinsPen says:

    Senator Frackin.

  74. guinsPen says:

    Unfunny Comedian. Funny Senator.

    Go figure.

  75. geoffb says:

    I was thinking BSG and you were going Dilbert.

  76. The Monster says:

    Locutus himself, talking to the cops: “We don’t know, because you guys busted in here.”

    Dude, you busted in first.

    Moron.

  77. B Moe says:

    Dude is majoring in “Political Economy”. Any guesses what that is?

  78. Rusty says:

    #59
    Whoever it was obvioulsy think the damn things are being driven by crazed chimps. Why are journalists so stupid? Wait! Nevermind.

  79. MarkD says:

    I’m a revolutionary, organizer for Students for Democratic Society, SigEp, Cuban, Italian, Polish, Lebanese, a pianist, a singer, an actor, a filmmaker. I go to Muhlenberg College in Allentown. I’m studying Political Economy and Film Studies…

    That’s a synonym for unemployable.

  80. RC says:

    when did so many lose sight of the fact that civil disobedience just about requires being arrested? otherwise its just a bunch of people hanging out.

Comments are closed.