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“Reviving Conservatism”

From Ramesh Ponnuru, writing at the Corner:

The National Review Institute and Hillsdale College are throwing a conference devoted to that very topic in Washington a week from today. Confirmed speakers include Rich Lowry, Heather MacDonald, David Brooks, Andrew McCarthy, Frederick Kagan, and Yuval Levin.

And if this somehow doesn’t work, the next step will be to dig up William Buckley and hold a seance, with John Derbyshire present to explain the otherwordly communications in term of abstruse mathematical formulas, genetic determinism, and — for reasons best left to him — the comeliness of fifteen-year-old girls with tight, shapely bumpers.

Because really, who beside such Beltway pundits whose guidance and boosterism allowed us to embrace a McCain nomination — some of whom have even referred to Sarah Palin a “cancer” on the GOP (and in so doing, conflated conservatism with their own blue blooded country club Republicanism) — are more qualified to help us “revive” conservatism?

I mean, check the credentials, people. Were David Brooks any more qualified to teach conservatives how to behave he’d have to wear a robe and speak from a fucking cloud.

(And lest I be accused of attacking my political allies just to be OUTLAW, let me point out that I’d be interested in hearing what several of those speakers had to say — Lowry, Kagen, and MacDonald chief among them — provided they were joined by conservatives who exist outside the incestuous world of national political punditry, and provided they took the opportunity to punk David Brooks by having Sarah Palin show up and seated her beside him at the banquet table).

Want to “revive conservatism”? First figure out what it is. Next, reject the idea that only certain “types” are capable of governing under its precepts. Follow that up by pointing out that much of what passes for social conservatism is of the same stripe as progressivism, and should be banished, as should all attempts at nannystatism. And finally, refuse to listen to anyone who tells you to embrace electoral pragmatism at the expense of reaffirming and selling fundamental ideals and principles.

Anything else is short-term thinking, and will give us the kind of GOP “control” we had until 2006, where compassionate conservatism became just a right-wing spin on big government spending, entitlement culture, and middling, unprincipled governance.

****
update: Remember Andrew Sullivan: real conservative? Go play nice with him and his buddies, “center-right” pundits.

141 Replies to ““Reviving Conservatism””

  1. happyfeet says:

    When did Republicans get so darn gay?

  2. Pablo says:

    Well, at least you can count on them to be polite. Unless the godbotherers show up.

  3. JHoward says:

    Given the clear simplicity of conservatism and it’s easily apparent principles, isn’t it amazing we’re at this point in history? The intro for The Conservative Mind about spells out the basics, as I recall.

    Or probably it’s more of a commentary on what happens when reason falls under constant postmodern assault.

  4. pdbuttons says:

    murderers row of little league conservatives
    is someone paying these people?
    remember-u can’t steal a base in lil league until it’s in the catchers mitt
    play nice-we ALL get a-trophy
    a shiny-shiny trophy
    we’re ALL winners [i hate that word-judgemental]

  5. happyfeet says:

    The National Review Institute. Gay gay gay gay. All I can think of is them politely applauding as Chris Buckley appears on stage in a thong with a Sarah Palin wig. David Brooks. That’s so funny.

  6. Jeff G. says:

    By the end of this week, I’ll be left on exactly 6 blogrolls, I suspect.

    But those six will all be wearing biker boots and spitting on the sidewalk, just because.

  7. Catbert077 says:

    What, no Peggy Noonan or Kathleen Parker? No Chris Buckley?

  8. pdbuttons says:

    riff of a military joke
    in america-we are all winners
    there are no ‘dem’ winners
    or ‘rep’ winners
    we are all winners
    now-u dem winners-drinks on me at the officers club
    u rep winners-dig some latrines

  9. Sdferr says:

    Do you wonder if any of the participants in this conference ever pull themselves up short and ask “Do I know what the hell I’m talking about? After this debacle of an election in which I was personally useless, in which my recommendations were utterly counterproductive, what the hell am I doing here? I think I’d better go home and think for a few months?”

  10. Jay says:

    Jeff, you know, you steal the wind from my sails by saying in X words what I would say in X*4.

  11. happyfeet says:

    The Future of Conservatism, 3:45-5:30

    Moderator: David Brooks, The New York Times

    Panelists:
    Ramesh Ponnuru, National Review
    Jonah Goldberg, National Review
    Ross Douthat, The Atlantic
    Gene Healy, CATO Institute
    David Bobb, Hillsdale College

    No women? Figured as much. Gay gay gay gay gay.

  12. urthshu says:

    Pshaw. They should just take to re-airing a bunch of retarded cartoon PSAa from the 40s-70s. Its about what the electorate would understand now.

  13. baldilocks says:

    There is always a place for you on my blogroll, m’dear. I’ve only delinked one person (RIP) for cause and I bought him back after I got over it.

  14. happyfeet says:

    You can tell them what you think for reals about their pansyfest at rsvp@nrinstitute.org

  15. DarthRove says:

    The leadership of today’s Republican party are no longer concerned with promoting conservatism or clib thought (I’m too lazy to type “classically liberal”, hence “clib”). They’ve failed to water the ideological roots of the party for so long that the plant has withered, and justly so. In order for the clib crowd to gain a substantial voice in government, they will have to either start over or take the reins of an existing party and promote actual, viable, likable candidates. While supplanting an existing organization would yield quicker results, I think starting from scratch would allow more control over the message and the messenger.

    In other words, I think we’re royally fucked.

  16. crankycon says:

    McCarthy’s awesome.

    That’s about all I can say positively about this list.

  17. Mr. Pink says:

    Only thing I can say about that list is that I am wondering why they didn’t just go full bore and invite Lindsey Graham to speak? I mean why bother fucking around.

  18. urthshu says:

    No, really, reviving old PSAs is the way to go. Just tag it with GOP and let ’em scratch their fkn heads trying to figure it out.

  19. happyfeet says:

    None of these homos has a damn thing to do with the future of conservatism. They just like having conferences where their wives don’t come so they can sleep with boys I think.

  20. Mr. Pink says:

    This reads like a whose whose list of how to lose elections and while abandoning all principles.

  21. Jay says:

    Maybe it’s a trap. A Conservative juggernaut like Palin or Jindal would have a surprise appearance and do a Jesus at the temple marketplace moment and banish them. Except for Lowry. He’s pretty enough and conservative enough.

  22. kelly says:

    why they didn’t just go full bore and invite Lindsey Graham to speak? I mean why bother fucking around.

    Or, for that matter, John Sydney McCain.

  23. Jim in KC says:

    Are they really that confused? Boil it down to “supporting the founding principles” and you’re most of the way there, it would seem.

  24. urthshu says:

    “whose whose list”

    Who’s whose?

  25. Mr. Pink says:

    Jim you are missing the point here I think. If you realize their goal is simply to be invited to the right parties without being sneered at you will be closer to the mark I think. Oh yeah and the approval of the “right” newspapers and intelligencia. IMHO.

  26. kelly says:

    And if this somehow doesn’t work, the next step will be to dig up William Buckley and hold a seance, with John Derbyshire present to explain the otherwordly communications in term of abstruse mathematical formulas, genetic determinism, and — for reasons best left to him — the comeliness of fifteen-year-old girls with tight, shapely bumpers.

    This, my friends (bet you thought you’d never have to hear those words again, didya?), is why I can’t
    quit PW. Gold. Pure Gold.

  27. Mr. Pink says:

    Yes who’s whose. My bad.

  28. kelly says:

    I believe the formulation is “who’s who”, gentlemen.

  29. Jim in KC says:

    Which is why nobody voted for them, Mr. Pink. If we’re going to get crap like Medicare prescription plans and massive bank bailouts from the federal gubmint, hell, why not vote for the guys who specialize in such malfeasance? Professionals rather than amateurs, so to speak.

  30. Mr. Pink says:

    Kelly I bet your penmanship is better than mine too.

  31. pdbuttons says:

    once i get on tv
    i’m denouncing all you mo-fo’s
    conference style
    on c-span
    and i will start pausing between words

    i’m praticing in the mirror right now!

  32. Sdferr says:

    DarthRove has it about right, I think. In a plain sense, it’s not the “ism” that is in need of reviving. It’s the people who have been (mis-)peddling it or acting on its behalf who’ve got to go. Winnowing through the people, finding and selecting virtuous leaders is the problem.

  33. Salt Lick says:

    I’ll bet $5 they trick Brooks into buying everybody lunch.

  34. kelly says:

    Not a chance, Senor Pink. Nor am I related to William Safire, FTR.

  35. kelly says:

    No bet, SL. It’s a given he’s the most gullible of the group.

  36. Snooper says:

    Ted Nugent has declared Open Season on RINOs and I am geared up and ready to rock!

    Others are saying that we have ODS and can be classified as Black Helicopter Republicans.

    Screw them. They are part of the problem. I have never won a fight by being nice-nice and I didn’t lose a body part in the war to turn the country or conservatism over to sniveling sycophants pretending to be conservatives…CINOs.

  37. MAJ (P) John says:

    Snooper, If I could be called a “Black Helicopter Republican” I might even consider being a Republican! That name just sounds right…

  38. Roland THTG says:

    Dibs on “Door Gunner”

  39. BJTexs says:

    Jeff G: Those last two paragraphs have crystallized my own views post election. Right on the money.

    Mazel Tov!!

  40. Hvy Mtl Hntr says:

    #31 buttons- you just made coffe come out my nose!

  41. Hvy Mtl Hntr says:

    Er- that be “coffee”.

  42. A fine scotch says:

    Can I pilot? These Black Helicopters don’t fly themselves…

  43. Mike LaRoche says:

    that I am wondering why they didn’t just go full bore and invite Lindsey Graham to speak?

    They might as well invite Lindsay Lohan, for that matter.

  44. DoDoGuRu says:

    No Andrew Sullivan on the list? He’s just as qualified as David Brooks, and his “Sarah Palin’s Interuterine Adventure” schtick is more interesting.

  45. BJTexs says:

    Well the accommodating intellectual avuncular “conservatives” have done a spectacular job shepherding The Republican Party and conservatism over the last 14 years.

    And when I say “spectacular” think Hindenburg.

  46. Sam Hall says:

    What qualifies one as an “intellectual” these days? I have my own ideas, but they seem out of sync with the current usage. For me, Thomas Sowell is an intellectual. David Brooks? No.

  47. Jeffersonian says:

    Let me second the motion to replace Brooks with Sowell. I’ll go for booting Ponnuru for Walter Williams, too. That guy takes no prisoners, baby.

  48. kelly says:

    What qualifies one as an “intellectual” these days?

    It’s self-conferred near as I can tell. That and/or having a regular writing gig at the NYT, it seems.

  49. kelly says:

    I’d take Steyn over Hitchens as well.

  50. mcgruder says:

    dunno if they are the problem.
    i think conservatism, outlaw-ish or otherwise, got hitched to a truly difficult series of bets in the short- and medium-term, most specifically Iraq.

    then, for better or for worse, GOP officials in both houses, looking at tax-cut fattened coffers, decided to piss on the generation old notion of republican fiscal sanity.

    And like the devil’s own cherry, POTUS, whatever his other merits, decided to one-up the house and senate in spending.

    All of which works just fine when you win the fucking war in straight-away fashion and/or we don’t re-enter the Great Depression.

    Tell you the truth, I’m not sure all this moaning about “whither conservatism” is justly-placed; I argue its not.

    Bush strikes me more and more as a 1950s era liberal—traditional social mores, An aggressive anti-totalitarian world-view, a belief that governent outlays can play a constructive role in alleviating hardship–than any sort of conservative I’ve ever seen. Its just that he was marketed as one.

    this doesnt make Bush a bad guy, or even in 10 years a wrong guy. It just means that he wasn’t a conservative leader in any sense of the word that we understand it.

  51. dicentra says:

    Follow that up by pointing out that much of what passes for social conservatism is of the same stripe as progressivism, and should be banished, as should all attempts at nannystatism.

    That would be what?

    That anti-flag-burning amendment? (DoA, fortunately)

    Overturning Roe v. Wade? (Hey, if you went after ALL judicial activism, that would be plenty c-lib and not social-con at all.)

    ID in the schools? Revival of school prayer?

    Look, I think that if the conservative movement concentrates its fury on c-lib stuff, allowing the social-con stuff to follow its own path (not banished), the tent will be big enough for all three cons.

  52. urthshu says:

    I just hope they come up with some policy planks soon b/c Baracky needs something to sneer at.

  53. urthshu says:

    >>i think conservatism, outlaw-ish or otherwise, got hitched to a truly difficult series of bets

    Still, for the first time in a long while, they seemed doable.

    Kinda like how the Dems have gone from ‘cleaning up after the Bush debacle’ to ‘we’ve got a whole list of exciting stuff’ to ‘lets just put our boot up America’s ass’

  54. SDN says:

    mcgruder, I strongly suspect that some of this involved buying votes to keep as much of Iraq / WOT going as possible. IIRC, LBJ did something similar on Vietnam.

  55. Bob Reed says:

    This brain trust doesn’t need to be the ones who determine the future of conservatism; we all do…

    Make sure to write a bunch of letters to these folks…

    The text is simple; “How about sticking to the constitution, Einstein…”

    And ditch Brooks, get him an appointment to have a rapturous discussion of philosophy with O! instead…

  56. Salt Lick says:

    Look, I think that if the conservative movement concentrates its fury on c-lib stuff, allowing the social-con stuff to follow its own path (not banished), the tent will be big enough for all three cons.

    I think you put your finger on a winning approach there, dicentra.

    And be ready to take advantage of opportunities, too. For example, if Barry does indeed require students to perform community service, there are going to be X percent of rebels among them, just because they’re Americans. That’s when Jeff needs to have his c-lib principles phamplet ready to go out. Whether under his own, or FIRE, or NAS ageis, or all — that’s when you get that sucker to campus.

    Sorry, I do get excited about the possibilities sometime.

  57. , lee-faux news says:

    Morris is on FOX saying Palin saved the GOP from a humiliating 9 point loss instead of 4. Senate would have been over 60 Dem. The election was all about party turn out; Dems went up 4%, Rep down 1.3%, total turnout only increased by similar historic comparisons (going back to 2000).

    His conclusion is that the difference is ACORN and Moveon, which formed independent of the DNC, and conservatives need to do something similar to compete.

    Morris made a parting crack about conservatives being too good for the republican Party or something.

  58. Ric Locke says:

    Morris made a parting crack about conservatives being too good for the republican Party

    Good for Morris, but the rest of them are just getting together to beg to be let back into the Kool Kids Klub.

    Regards,
    Ric

  59. pdbuttons says:

    dick morris is a toe sucker
    screw him and fox

  60. snuffles says:

    Just list everthing that’s not conservatism.

    Whatever is left over is conservatism.

  61. Mossberg500 says:

    God has been replaced with a mirror

    Assholes like sniffbutt would be a good start to that list!1!eleventyone!!1!1!

  62. Mossberg500 says:

    Just list everthing that’s not conservatism.

    Assholes like sniffbutt would be a good start to that list!

    WTF just happened? Damn!

  63. Jeff Y. aka The Continental says:

    Indeed, Jeff G.

  64. Jeff G. says:

    I was thinking more along the lines of “decency” statutes and the like, dicentra. Maybe even reconsidering the fallout from the “war on drugs,” which looks to me a lot like the “war on poverty.”

    I have noted here on a number of occasions that social cons generally do things the right way — not relying on court fiat to get their agenda enacted. But sometimes they don’t (look at the Schiavo debacle, lousy with the wrong message) — and when they act like the moral conscience of the nation, they turn a lot of people off, I suspect.

  65. pdbuttons says:

    indecency means a liscense?[sp]
    can’t wait for the obama statues- i’m sure they’ll be massive

    the better to poop on

  66. , lee-faux news says:

    dick morris is a toe sucker

    Does this make you a bad person?

    A…ah, friend was wondering….

  67. Dawn W says:

    I fear that taking back conservatism from those who have redefined it, isn’t enough. There are 46 million Americans who don’t pay taxes — a bought and paid for constituency for the Nanny State and a group not likely to care about inaccountability and pork spending. Issues and government spending become more top of mind to voters who have some skin in the game (beyond an outstretched hand).

  68. Josh says:

    Don’t worry, your Queen knows how to revive conservatism:

    Gah! Nothing specific right now. Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that. We have to balance budgets and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets and tens of thousands of employees in our organizations.

    Look at these lucid, well-considered ideas from this thoughtful person. Palin 2012!!

  69. Jeff G. says:

    Our queen is Andrew Sullivan, Josh. Palin is the Sheriff of Nottingham.

    Keep your hierarchies straight.

  70. Velociman says:

    Never forget that this selfsame elitist class despised Reagan in ’76. His candidacy was considered gauche, poor form when the GOP already had the static Ford in office. It wasn’t until Reagan started pounding hell out of GHWB and Howard Baker in the 1980 primaries while simultaneously eschewing official GOP cattle call events did they grudgingly board the train.

  71. B Moe says:

    dick morris is a toe sucker

    You say that like it is a bad thing.

  72. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    I have to second BJ, here. Those last two paragraphs are the crux of the matter, Jeff. Well done. Well done indeed.

  73. Mossberg500 says:

    Moose woman is a detached rock head whose every utterance makea anyone outside the most bitter r-wingers barf.

    Is it a wonder why no one(except Lisa and sashal) listens to you. Rasmussen Report

  74. Josh says:

    Lolz. More like Andrew LOVES-A-MAN AMIRITE?!?!

  75. pdbuttons says:

    toe sucking ain’t bad
    unless you pay for it

  76. pdbuttons says:

    it’s a conservative thang
    i hear[ i cannot confirm or deny]
    that dems have web feet
    the better to swim thru their bullshit

  77. Mossberg500 says:

    that dems have web feet

    Evolution will take care of that, won’t it? They lost their tails!

  78. Carin says:

    By the end of this week, I’ll be left on exactly 6 blogrolls, I suspect.

    But those six will all be wearing biker boots and spitting on the sidewalk, just because.

    I’d look kick-ass in biker boots.

  79. pdbuttons says:

    come jan 20- we’ll all be tailed
    civilian corps y’know
    i will only get creeped out when they point at me
    mouths in a perfect O-no sound emanating/i accuse

    “invasion of the body snatcher” like

  80. Mossberg500 says:

    come jan 20- we’ll all be tailed

    Don’t you mean collared

  81. Mossberg500 says:

    I just found my stash of question marks????????????????

  82. Timstigator says:

    I’ve pre-registered for the re-education camps. I hope I get accepted. I’d like to do my time quickly and be the first out. Maybe I can ride out the recession. Wonder what the wife and kids will do, though.

  83. Mossberg500 says:

    Wonder what the wife and kids will do, though.

    Public assistance and food stamps, silly!

  84. Timstigator says:

    Mossy: well, they did vote for Obama. He’ll take care of them. Of course, he’ll “take care” of me too.

  85. pdbuttons says:

    my plan to fuck scarlett johannson[sp]
    do not question obamas AUTHORITAY
    keep ur head down
    lose the glasses
    steal rice [don’t get caught!]
    crawl thru shit
    crawl thru shit again [hey- i lost my glasses]
    follow river to ocean
    steal boat
    drift to america
    make money
    go to ucla film school
    make indie sundance film
    studio heads give me green light
    cast scarlett joe-joe
    charm her?
    it could happen!

    and i thought america was the land of dreams

  86. Mossberg500 says:

    and i thought america was the land of dreams

    Close buttons, it the land of Dreamworks. Just ask Spielberg!

  87. Mossberg500 says:

    it=it’s

  88. pdbuttons says:

    i am filled with shame

  89. Mossberg500 says:

    i am filled with shame

    Why? I think you should start your own blog! I’d read it!!!

  90. pdbuttons says:

    you’d read anything

    let’s both start blogs!!!!
    the chilluns of jeff
    u first
    right behind ya

  91. Cowboy says:

    Before I read through the comments…damn, Jeff, just damn.

  92. Mossberg500 says:

    How about “The Bastard Spawn of Goldstein”, or “Classical Liberal Outlaw”!

  93. ThomasD says:

    There are 46 million Americans who don’t pay taxes — a bought and paid for constituency for the Nanny State and a group not likely to care about inaccountability and pork spending.

    Not so. First there are those who really do prize principles over shiny prizes. Yes it’s a relatively small group, but not a small as you might think, and they tend to be dedicated and actually show up at the polls.

    Second are those who know that Uncle Sugar always has strings attached, and while you may reach some level of comfort you will never get ahead.

    Third there are those (like Joe the plumber) who really do aspire to be one of the winners and do not relish the thought of financing the slackers.

    Fourth are those who, while they may have surrendered their own life to the wheel, hold out hope for their progeny.

    Fifth are those who, while they don’t mind being the beneficiary of government largess, positively despise the thought that someone else might be growing fat because they’ve latched on to a better tit.

    They can all be reached with the right approach.

  94. Lisa says:

    Ouch Perf. I hurt for your combed-over beltway conservatives. That was an impressive bitchslap.

  95. pdbuttons says:

    Mb5000
    you name the blog
    we will make fun of it
    pioneers get the arrows!

  96. dicentra says:

    Sixth, there are those who know that the gubmint is in hock to the Chinese big time, so any handout they get has THAT string attached.

  97. lee-faux news says:

    Dennis Miller was just on FOx. Very funny and “noble”.

    Best lines:

    I hope Obama has done so well I’m salivating to vote for him in 4 years.

    O’Reilly asked if Dennis thought Barney Frank should go to jail.

    Meh, Barney probably would like to go to jail.

  98. lee-faux news says:

    Awgk! I just saw a “Divided we fail” commercial.

    CREEPY

    Tag line; “President-Elect Obama, we know you you are ready to lead. We are ready to help”

  99. Senator Exalted E. Buzz Miller, Esq, PhD says:

    Let me be somewhat of a boor, I know Ramesh wouldn’t approve of this type of ruffian language, but…

    Fuck Rich Lowry. May he and Dreher run off together shoving granola up each other’s asses for eternity.

    We’re fucked with these idiots controlling the debate. Totally fucked.

  100. ajacksonian says:

    Notice how ‘strict constructionalism’ on the Right only applies to the SCOTUS and *not* to the entire Constitution?

    Funny, that.

  101. lee-faux news says:

    Oops, only one “you”.

    But still…

  102. lee-faux news says:

    He wasn’t kidding about that never again being able to relax thing. I mean, post-election ads? Had me twisting in my Lazy-Boy.

  103. wheelers_cat says:

    Ummm…Jeff?
    I’m sorry to bother you, but I really need some help.
    Could you please use your superawesome linguistic decoder powers to translate this for me?
    The meanin’ an the signallin’ and all….it is just…like totally opaque to me……an’ i’d gladly pay for your time.
    Since you are the Holy Guardian of Languange and Meaning an’ all that.

    Gah! Nothing specific right now. Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that. We have to balance budgets and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets and tens of thousands of employees in our organizations.

  104. lee says:

    Nishi, you know your guy won, right.

    You’re obsessing.

  105. ThomasD says:

    ajacksonian I’d tend to agree, but isn’t that what people are referring to when they speak of ‘compassionate conservatism.’

  106. […] a bit from Jeff Goldstein on “Reviving Conservatism”. I can’t find much with which to disagree. Want to “revive conservatism”? First figure […]

  107. geoffb says:

    “come jan 20- we’ll all be tailed
    civilian corps y’know”

    I figure for the first few years they will just go door to door like the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I’ll just answer in my skivvies as usual. Not a pretty sight and all I get is a pamphlet no lecture.

  108. Ric Locke says:

    Tell you what, Kate: I’ll tackle it… provided that you come up with the equivalent — an extended, literal, syllable-by-syllable transcription of some extended speech by Barack (May His Name Be Praised, Hallelujah, AMEN) Obama, with all the pauses, interruptions, and body language edited out.

    Dishonest shithead.

    Regards,
    Ric

  109. JD says:

    This Velociman is a wise one. And a hella good writer too. Just sayin’

    I think I am coming around on the whole pdbuttons thing.
    sniffles, on the other hand, is alphie, and an asshat.

    Dishonest shithead.

    Regards,
    Ric

    Standing ovation for Senor Locke.

  110. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    JD, pdbuttons is great. Kate needs to grow up (eventually) and/or just give it up already and hug her daddy, because I don’t think Jeff wants to be that surrogate.

  111. […] “Reviving Conservatism” And if this somehow doesn’t work, the next step will be to dig up William Buckley and hold a seance, with John Derbyshire present to explain the otherwordly communications in term of abstruse mathematical formulas, genetic determinism, and — for reasons best left to him — the comeliness of fifteen-year-old girls with tight, shapely bumpers. […]

  112. Jeff G. says:

    Ric answered for me, Kate.

    Surprised your super brain couldn’t pick up the frame there.

    There’s a reason that the dialogue in fiction is conventional, and resembles real dialogue only by way of that convention. Try tape recording actual conversations some time, then transcribing them. It’s an exercise we give in fiction writing classes to teach the crafting and editing of dialogue.

    What you’ll get is something much like the above. Only in your case, with lots of “cudlips” thrown in.

  113. JD says:

    OI – wheeler/Kate/nishit/quellcrist/griefer/MPD/stupid little twat/annoying little git really does have some broad and deep psycho-social interpersonal issues that really do need addressing.

  114. Spiny Norman says:

    Never forget that this selfsame elitist class despised Reagan in ‘76. His candidacy was considered gauche, poor form when the GOP already had the static Ford in office. It wasn’t until Reagan started pounding hell out of GHWB and Howard Baker in the 1980 primaries while simultaneously eschewing official GOP cattle call events did they grudgingly board the train.

    Exactly. Thank you, Velociman, for saying what I wanted to say, but probably far better.

  115. Mike LaRoche says:

    Wheelers_cat seems to think this blog is her personal litter box.

  116. Spiny Norman says:

    Wheelers_cat seems to think this blog is her personal litter box.

    Except she’s always missing and taking a dump on the floor.

  117. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Hey, I AM learning stuff. Thanks, Jeff. I was thinking the same thing in regards to transcribing spoken conversations. It would look disjointed compared to written conversation. I’m surprised nishi’s triple digits couldn’t figure that out, too. Well, of course, I’m not, but I was feeling charitable for a moment there. Her stunted emotional state trumps whatever high IQ she actually does possess.

    JD, remember to wear your Buckeye gear this saturday! hehehehehehe….

  118. Mossberg500 says:

    griefquest, where do you go from here?
    answer: nowhere, you’ve pretty much worn out your welcome everywhere!
    oh, I forgot the super bright crude11!

  119. lee says:

    it isn’t that nishi is that dumb.

    She just thinks you are…

  120. JD says:

    Obstreperous Infidel – Buckeye gear?! Good Allah. It is more likely for me to show up at an Illini game wearing an “O” t-shirt, rainbow striped polyester pants, and bright red clown shoes.

  121. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    I knows you lurvs the Buckeyes!

  122. JD says:

    It is not so much that I hate the Fuckeyes, it is just that they are our opponent this week. I do think that Coach Sweater Vest needs to run an offense designed in this decade. Hell, something from the 70’s 80’s or 90’s would be an improvement.

    How do we revive conservatism? To me, the answer seems so simple as to be ignored. Act like conservatives. Make the elected officials do so, and if they do not act like conservatives, do not support them any more.

  123. pdbuttons says:

    elmore leonard
    [i’m a fucking name dropper]
    his conversations sound..real?

  124. pdbuttons says:

    to live in die in l/a
    real?

  125. pdbuttons says:

    really reality tv
    real?

  126. pdbuttons says:

    4-4-4
    bob oar
    u want to go out on my boat this weekend baby?

    why- u need someone to help u row?

  127. JD says:

    4-4-4 … Fav-ruh

  128. pdbuttons says:

    jd-put-plant the three buttons in the ground first
    don’t just willy nilly throw an interception like…
    umm…
    bret favre

  129. geoffb says:

    It would look disjointed compared to written conversation.

    That’s why the Nixon tapes were such a mess to figure out.

    People interrupt each other, sentences are unfinished (possibly because the listener already knows the end and signals that), people who are together much develop shorthand expressions. Body language isn’t on tape.

    Rachel Lucas sometimes talks about her job transcribing tapes for medical doctors. Not an easy job.

  130. Jeff G. says:

    pd —

    Not everyone goes for realism. Mamet’s dialogue is quite stylized. Robbins’ dialogue in rife with characters who speak like he writes.

    Not the point.

  131. pdbuttons says:

    arrgh- u said mamet!
    now i won’t get to sleep
    but u can sleep
    sleep..maybe if..but u CAN sleep
    ..tired…tire..
    shhh-sleep…
    ………
    Knock knock
    who’s there
    there there now
    sleep
    but i can’t
    but u must

    fuck mamet!

  132. pdbuttons says:

    jeffy pop-why don’t u write a book?
    cuz i’d tell all the homeless people who go thru my garbage cans for nickels
    teh redemtion–
    goldstein-protein wisdom-wake- up!
    really
    who’s crazy now?

  133. pdbuttons says:

    jeff-write a..
    pd..book..?
    j-i can’t
    p-can’t can’t what? write..
    j-i’m all confu..
    p-fused now-NOW!
    j-but it’s not about
    p-you-it IS about u
    j- i just-i just-ijust-i just..
    p-u don’t understand!

    fuck mamet
    i’m never gonna
    what-sleep?
    yes sleep-damn you
    you could never sleep baby-and that’s just….you/who u are ur essence
    fuck you-i want sleep!
    thats the death cry baby-go ahead-take a dirt nap-but i ain’t digging u up..
    you never did!
    what?
    dig me
    you started this

    1

  134. pdbuttons says:

    bobby orr baby
    ha!

  135. pdbuttons says:

    buy
    buy what?
    u selling?
    sshh
    hey fucker you came on my website
    sssh keep it down

    lights cigarette- looks away exhales
    leans in-close-whispers menacingly
    you-YOU came on my

    uh uh uh no don’t want to hear it
    you came on my website[grabbing by the lapels-drink spills
    glass shatters -bar patrons look over for a few seconds
    jukebox begins replaying

    you
    YOU came onto this….this …site

    hey-this is easy!
    fuck mamet
    jeff- i hate/love u!

  136. malaclypse the tertiary says:

    Surprised your super brain couldn’t pick up the frame there.

    O! snap.

  137. wheelers_cat says:

    lol, Jeff!
    She is going for the nom, isn’t she?
    Hahahaha
    Jindal and Romney are too bright to run.
    And she is isn’t smart enough to lay low until 2016 (and learn something other than Pageant Speech).
    She’s gonna put her bigself out there babbling like an idiot every day while the GOP begs her to stfu and the video record soaks up every gaffe.
    And now we all get to watch you and Allahpundit punch yourselves in the face for Four More Years!!!!
    Deliciousness.

    Sorry feets.
    Even Cobra can’t fix this shit.

  138. wheelers_cat says:

    hehe
    Palin

  139. wheelers_cat says:

    One more thing……you drivin’ this bus, Jeff?

  140. pdbuttons says:

    wheelers- aww u did not four for four?
    and u had the time…i guess three thoughts fill up ur grocery cart

  141. Methotrexate brm chemotherapy….

    Methotrexate. Methotrexate brm chemotherapy….

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