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Voting with your heart

Jules Crittenden was already leaning that way, but last night’s 30-minute infomercial cinched it: he’s going for Obama.

And really, who can blame him? I mean, do any of you want to be stuck spending the next 8-10 years at that cafeteria table outpost? — the one with the fat kids, the troublingly pale chick with the veiny face and atrocious hair, and that one dude from India or some such who smells like the unholy marriage of falafels and Dinty Moore beef stew?

Well, me neither.

O!

21 Replies to “Voting with your heart”

  1. C Smith says:

    I resent your age-size-sex-race discrimination, which is only rendered acceptable when leveled against anyone right of center politically.

  2. pdbuttons says:

    hey-the fat kid owes me
    money/the pale chick i’m tryin to get in my basement so we can listen to morrissey/the indian kid’s got a ferris wheel in his back yard-plus he’s rich-plus..plus-he don’t smell that bad

  3. FreakyBoy says:

    And whether you are or not, the non-cool kids THINK you’re mayor of pooncity; which is all that matters.

  4. […] Now that’s some smart meat. Protein Wisdom gets it. But I also have to agree with his commenter CSmith, because I’m an Obamist now. Neocon […]

  5. TaiChiWawa says:

    Jules, I’d like you to meet Mohammet, Jugdish, Sidney, and Clayton.

  6. alppuccino says:

    Poon City? That’s just north of Sphicterburg, isn’t it? You catch the exit there at Taint Vernon, right?

  7. Sdferr says:

    In order to vote with your heart you’re going to have to have one to start with. At this point in my life I’ve been called heartless so many times that I’ve begun to wonder whether there mayn’t be something to the charge. Deos anyone reckon that’ll get me a pass if I somehow manage to screw up on the hope and changey front, if Luther like I vote “Here I stand. I could do no other”?

  8. What got me voting for him was his determination. Let’s face it, it takes a man with some fierce stones to not say a damn thing when confronted with the worst financial crisis in decades. And not only did he not say anything, but he didn’t do anything either. The way I see it, not taking the meltdown of our financial system seriously is the hallmark of a great leader. My vote is cast.

    O!

  9. Sdferr says:

    does

  10. BJTexs says:

    Hey, you say “spreading the wealth” or “redistribution,” I say fairness, as in “Doctrine.” Why would anybody vote against fairness? Unless, of course, you are part of the great, unwashed, stubborn, unrepentant RAAAAACIIIIIIISTS!!!!!!

    Look into your hearts and take out your wallets, skinheads!

  11. JD says:

    LMC – BARACKY WROTE A LETTER, DAMMIT !

  12. kelly says:

    I’m votin’ for Barry. Well, the black half anyway. Why should I vote for just another half-white?

  13. I’m sure it was more of a plan than a letter. O wouldn’t write a letter, that’s what women do when they get all emotional. Women can’t be President. They might get pregnant, or they should be at home.. or doing something other than running for office.

    O!

  14. pdbuttons says:

    them damn moon pies
    should i eat the white half first? are bakery monitors watching me? i really like chocalate/but if i eat that half first-am i racy?
    sooo confused-and hungry/definitely hungry

  15. BJTexs says:

    Well, LMC, if a potential Woman President shrewish and ball busting enough then that whole pregnancy and home bound thing is a non issue.

    Not that I have anybody in mind…

  16. ginsocal says:

    Well, I survived high school sitting at that table, so what the hell.

    Besides, I LIKE Dinty Moore beef stew.

  17. […] could be YOU at that table, people…* Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:37 am | Trackback SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ““Ten Reasons Why […]

  18. MarkD says:

    8-10 years? I missed something, and it’s not good. Term limits were repealed, or somebody says that’s all I’ve got left, or O’s going get elected, re-elected and repeal the next election?

    I’d get drunk tonight, but I have to work tomorrow. I will be glad when this nightmare is over.

  19. B Moe says:

    I was briefly heartened by the simple, no-nonsense message of Joe the Plumber. Obama wants to redistribute wealth. Of course that’s bad.

    It just occurred to me that they aren’t redistributing wealth as much as they are redistributing money, which is the problem.

    And I usually ate a sack lunch out under a shade tree on the front lawn with some hippie chicks.

  20. ginsocal says:

    I believe the term is, “President-for-life.” Why not? Hugo did it.

  21. Satire Fan says:

    Terry Pratchett has nothing to fear from ol’ Julie.

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