That would be Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL):
I cried all night. I’m going to be crying for the next four years.
So maybe Barack Obama will be bringing people from both sides together. But wait:
The event itself is so extraordinary that another chapter could be added to the Bible to chronicle its significance.
Oops! I think he just lost those New Agers who worship him as a Lightworker. So close, but paradise lost.
(h/t NewsBusters, Obamessiah.)
Comment by SarahW on 6/10 @ 8:18 am #
The book of Ob-lasmphe-ma. Looking forward to it.
Comment by Pablo on 6/10 @ 8:19 am #
Hey, isn’t his daddy a reverend of some sort? I wonder how he feels about adding Baracky to the Bible. But I guess I also wonder if either one of them has ever read it.
Comment by The Lost Dog on 6/10 @ 8:32 am #
Well, I for one, am going to be walking on my knees for the next four years so that I can give thanks at a moments notice.
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 8:40 am #
He is a Messiah. Practically the Second Coming.
Comment by SarahWept within herself, to f-in old for this on 6/10 @ 8:41 am #
Bring a sweater and a belt you can cinch up, TLD.
Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 8:44 am #
“I hope the least historical thing about Barack Obama is his being black and the most historical is that he solved our health care problems, ended the war in Iraq and made life better for Americans.â€Â
Ohgoodlord. Honestly, I don’t know how long I can stomach this stuff.
Comment by SarahW on 6/10 @ 8:46 am #
First thou set the Holy Thermostat. Seventy-two is right out…
Comment by psycho... on 6/10 @ 8:46 am #
Comment by bergerbilder on 6/10 @ 8:47 am #
A Lightworker, huh? I’ll bet he doesn’t have a union card!
Comment by BJTex on 6/10 @ 8:47 am #
I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I wept, I wet myself, I sobbed, I puked, I giggled, I crapped in my pants, I blew snot all over my face, I cried, I fell face down in a …
[...]
Oh, wait! that was the Newport, RI dock party.
Um … never mind … UNICORNS!
Comment by SarahW on 6/10 @ 8:47 am #
Any word from JeffG, BTW?
Comment by Salt Lick on 6/10 @ 8:54 am #
And thus and so, having used the soft, hard power of his face to end the war and calm the oceans, he shall forever be remembered:
…And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu… — Skip a bit, Brother Maynard –… And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” Amen.
Comment by Jeff G on 6/10 @ 9:08 am #
I eagerly await the Book of Ayers, featuring the poetry of LeRoi Jones.
Comment by BJTex on 6/10 @ 9:18 am #
Jeff: Didn’t he write “Kill Whitey in His House!”
so moving…
Comment by Education Guy on 6/10 @ 9:20 am #
From the Book of Obama:
Images – a tale of white privilege
Dark and lonely on the summer night.
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
Watchdog barking – Do he bite?
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
Slip in his window,
Break his neck!
Then his house
I start to wreck!
Got no reason –
What the heck!
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
C-I-L-L …
My land – lord …
Def!
Comment by Boonofnoobery on 6/10 @ 9:28 am #
Uuugghh. Once again, the left’s anointed is bringing people to tears, causing fainting, the whole nine yards. All this means is that we’re going to have to go all out, to get out there on the grassroots and register new voters and inform the electorate. I don’t want this man in office, and his “ascendancy” is far from certain. The Republican voters just need to get mobilized the way we did in 2004.
The only problem would be getting people excited about McCain, but I think most right-leaning independents and conservatives would rather have McCain than a far left junior senator posing as a moderate for president.
On Jesse Jackson. Sad day when a minister forgets that the Bible specifically proscribes adding chapters to it. I forget the passage reference, but I think it’s in Revelation, and what applies to that book could be said to apply to the others. It’s sad to think a minister is so gone that he commits that sort of blasphemy without really recognizing it, and sadder that he committed that act just because the man he wanted got the nomination for the Democrat candidate. Shades of Esau selling his birthright for a pot of lentil stew.
Well, now that I have been utterly serious and tedious, how about some very bad gallows humor?
Obama in 2010 or so (if, horror of horrors, he is elected): Anyone want some real hope with that change? Whoops, fresh outta hope, just take the change, and some radioactive relish on top of your radioactive Change-Dog. I probably shouldn’t have negotiated with Tehran so much, and I intend to change that..eventually. Don’t question your messiah by asking “when”, and keep 20 feet away, irradiated leper!”
Comment by Jeff G. on 6/10 @ 9:46 am #
I think you’re missing the point.
Obama is black. All that other stuff is therefore just bullshit.
Comment by Education Guy on 6/10 @ 9:55 am #
That does it. I’m not clinging to my bible anymore if they’re just gonna go changing it. Now what I am I supposed to do about allaying my privileged yet backwards fears. Besides my guns I mean.
Comment by Education Guy on 6/10 @ 9:56 am #
Besides clinging to my guns, that is.
Comment by Aldo on 6/10 @ 10:01 am #
Those crazy Christianists! Oh, hold on, he’s a Democrat. Never mind. Carry on.
Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 10:02 am #
EG- you must cling to your bible even MORE now … before they take it from you and replace it with The Book of Obama.
Comment by Education Guy on 6/10 @ 10:10 am #
Carin – If I cling to my old stale non Obama bible then it is proof that I am a racist. I mean, more proof than is already self evident by my criticisms of the new messiah. Which is like double the amount of racism that will be allowed under the great new hope.
So I’m screwed.
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 10:27 am #
Does this make all of you theolib-ophobes or theolib-ists? Or just racists?
Comment by The Lost Dog on 6/10 @ 11:15 am #
“He is a Messiah. Practically the Second Coming.”
I haven’t seen a Second Coming since I was about 28 years old…
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 6/10 @ 11:41 am #
O just set up an Internet Info Swat Team.
via poblano.
A big part of Obama’s coming win is mad internet skillz.
Darksyde mocked Team McCain’s “troll recruitment” cruelly at dKos.
i think its generational.
Comment by guinsPen on 6/10 @ 11:44 am #
Generation 731.
Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 11:48 am #
Barack Obama is recruiting senior staff to a new unit which will combat virulent rumor campaigns on the internet that threaten to cost him votes in the presidential election against John McCain.
The unit is part of a huge expansion of Obama’s campaign team as he shifts from the Democratic nomination race to the campaign for November’s election.
As well as the rumour-mongering problem, units are being set up to deal with other perceived vulnerable points, including off-the-cuff remarks by his wife Michelle. McCain’s wife, Cindy, questioned Michelle’s patriotism in February after she said: “For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country.”
Oh shit. Does this mean we’re gonna see more of those weird Obama-zombies drive-bys?
Comment by guinsPen on 6/10 @ 11:52 am #
units are being set up
Right up you alley, ishiishiro.
Comment by MayBee on 6/10 @ 11:57 am #
Citizens will not be allowed to openly discuss Obama without being monitored by Obama Truth Units.
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 12:00 pm #
And the Left worries about President Bush monitoring them …
Comment by MayBee on 6/10 @ 12:04 pm #
Darksyde mocked Team McCain’s “troll recruitment†cruelly at dKos.
Is McCain’s very different from Obama’s?
Comment by BJTex on 6/10 @ 12:06 pm #
JD’s already on the squad’s radar.
DON’T LOOK INTO THE LIGHTBRINGER’S LIGHT, JD!!
*FLASH*
JD? Where are you? Oh my gods they’ve absorbed JD! AND CARIN TOOOOOOO!
Comment by Karl on 6/10 @ 12:12 pm #
MayBee,
cognitive dissonance is lost on some ppl
lulz
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 12:14 pm #
I will be voting for Barack, as he represents hope and change, and all that is good in this world.
Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 12:21 pm #
I was a lifelong Republican (Reagan was my HERO!), but the recent Republican leadership has left me disaffected and empty. Then along came Obama. I fought the attraction as long as I could, but now I’m convinced that he is the only person who can lead us back to glory. We have squandered far too much of world goodwill. We cannot afford another four years of Bush and his Bushbots. McBush would lead us into war with Iran, while the children of our country starved in the street.
Put aside your bibles, and guns (and your RACISM!) and LISTEN with OPEN ears and OPEN hearts to the ONE LEADER who will show us a SHINEY NEW PATH.
Obama ‘08!
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 12:27 pm #
I, too, was a lifelong conservative Republican, that once put a premium on our government providing for the common defense, lowering taxes, empowering individuals, and for people rising and falling on their own merits. The corporatist theocons of the Bu$HitlerCo administration have soured me on the Republican party. In order to cure that which has been wrought on our country, and the damage to the Constitution, I believe with all of the hope and change in my once dark heart that Barack Obama can bridge the racial/racist divide and restore our credibility in the world community, while divesting us from a failed and unjust war, providing healthcare for all, stopping the seas from rising, and the ozone from growing. I believe. I believe. I believe.
http://www.mypersonalstoryofconversiontoBaracky.com
Comment by Cave Bear on 6/10 @ 12:30 pm #
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated by the Obamaborg.
Comment by Ric Locke on 6/10 @ 12:36 pm #
In other news –
Sales of canvas and quicklime are up 40% across the Midwest, and 30d nails are getting in short supply.
Regards,
Ric
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 12:38 pm #
Ric – The prices on Visqueen, paddleboats, canoes, and kayaks have spiked as well.
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 12:40 pm #
But, despite the rising waters, which Barack Obama’s nomination either caused or will fix, I will battle on in promoting the historical candidacy of the post-racial, post-partisan Barack Obama.
Comment by Education Guy on 6/10 @ 12:42 pm #
There will be no natural disasters under POTUS Obama, for mother Gaia will be well pleased.
Comment by BJTex on 6/10 @ 12:49 pm #
JD & Carin: You have enbraced the light. You are safe and warm, albiet with somewhat less pie than before. The light of O!bama will care for you. You don’t have to think about anything.
Now turn up your thermostats and start your organic arugula gardens. And JD, tsk, tsk, we’ll need to see that SUV disappear now, won’t we? Here’s a lovely little Prius which comes with 6 free lessons from Olga Korbut as to how to contort your frame to fit into the cab.
*Lightbringer*
*sigh* Carin, Carin, Carin! Is that Sean Hannity on your Radio? Fairness, Carin, Fairness!
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 12:53 pm #
BJ – You are interrupting my meditation where I channel the lightbringer. All is at peace in my world now that I have submitted.
Comment by Karl on 6/10 @ 12:58 pm #
I think JD and Carin fell asleep.
Comment by JD on 6/10 @ 1:01 pm #
Karl – How dare you suggest that I did not arrive at my decision to throw my full support behind the historic candidacy of Barack Obama?! He can lead us from the doldrums, healing our international wounds, and bringing an era of peace and prosperity to our country. He will make it a country we can all be proud of.
Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 1:02 pm #
Really, BJ- now hush. I’m expecting a new message from O! on twitter any second now. I think I can admit it, since I’m among friends, but when he twitters, I have an orgasm.
Comment by BJTex on 6/10 @ 1:05 pm #
Fixed that for you.
Comment by BJTex on 6/10 @ 1:09 pm #
So, Carin, are you all a twitter?
I denounce myself with a cream pie and floppie shoes.
Also, if you are new to the Obamagasm, work slowly up to The Hope Shaft™. It took thor months to handle the sensations.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (yeah, bay-bee!!)
Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 1:12 pm #
Also, if you are new to the Obamagasm, work slowly up to The Hope Shaftâ„¢. It took thor months to handle the sensations.
Thanks for the warning. But, if anything goes wrong, I’m sure Obama’s Hope and Change will cure whatever ails me.
Obama ‘08!
Change you can believe in!
Comment by SaralyntW on 6/10 @ 1:14 pm #
YOU are the pie I’ve been waiting for.
Comment by SaralyntW on 6/10 @ 1:15 pm #
Or pod people. Plenty of resistant starch.
Comment by SaralyntW on 6/10 @ 1:18 pm #
Or, wait, really submissive starch.
Comment by SaralyntW on 6/10 @ 1:18 pm #
All I know is SOMETHING is getting assimilated.
Comment by The Lost Dog on 6/10 @ 5:25 pm #
“Comment by Carin -BONC on 6/10 @ 12:21 pm #
I was a lifelong Republican (Reagan was my HERO!), but the recent Republican leadership has left me disaffected and empty. Then along came Obama. I fought the attraction as long as I could, but now I’m convinced that he is the only person who can lead us back to glory. We have squandered far too much of world goodwill. We cannot afford another four years of Bush and his Bushbots. McBush would lead us into war with Iran, while the children of our country starved in the street.
Put aside your bibles, and guns (and your RACISM!) and LISTEN with OPEN ears and OPEN hearts to the ONE LEADER who will show us a SHINEY NEW PATH.
PHEW! Good thing I read all of this. For a moment there, I thought you had gone insane.
I don’t always agree, but you are actually quite amusing – usually.
I wish I could say the same for myself, but sometimes I just get TOO PISSED!
I’m working on it…
Sometimes I think PW is better than group therapy.
Comment by Boonofnoobery on 6/10 @ 7:04 pm #
To Jeff @ 17
You are right indeed. How could I have forgotten? It must be that I got away from the local re-education camp after finals.
I shall return to praising Obamessiah when the school year begins anew.
Comment by Drumwaster on 6/10 @ 7:19 pm #
Doesn’t Obama already have a chapter of the Bible written about him? Revelations Chapter 13, right?
Pingback by a-foton » Guess Who’s crying over Obama clinching the nomination? [Karl] on 6/10 @ 7:28 pm #
[...] Karl wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptThat would be Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL): I cried all night. I’m going to be crying for the next four years. [...]
Comment by Patrick Chester on 6/11 @ 11:47 am #
Actually, I think the Obamagons catchphrase should be “RESISTANCE IS USELESS!!”
Oh, and under no circumstances should you let them read poetry aloud.