“You can’t tell how far a frog will jump until you punch him.”
Your down-homey analogies welcome.
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May 30, 2008
Amphibian Abuser [Dan Collins]
29 Comments ::: Post a comment »RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI: http://proteinwisdom.com/wp-trackback.php?p=12356 Leave a commentIf you want to leave a feedback to this post or to some other user´s comment, simply fill out the form below. |
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Comment by jon on 5/30 @ 12:17 pm #
Instead of “yes”, ask the following:
“If you nail a chicken’s foot to the floor, does its shit make a circle?”
Comment by Ouroboros on 5/30 @ 12:25 pm #
And she’s knows this how…. from her childhood years growing up in Calaveras county?
Comment by JD on 5/30 @ 12:28 pm #
Someone get the ASPCA on the line.
Comment by BumperStickerist on 5/30 @ 12:37 pm #
That shit don’t flush. (the Obama campaign in a nutshell)
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His lies are comin’ like a cow pissing on a flat rock.
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That boy’s weltschmertz could drown a momma possum and all her baby possums.
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In the land of the blind the one eyed man can be chewed to death by guide dogs.
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You gotta grab the bull by the balls, make it turn its head and cough
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Comment by JD on 5/30 @ 12:40 pm #
Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle ?
Comment by Rob Crawford on 5/30 @ 12:47 pm #
Does the pope shit in the woods?
Is a bear Catholic?
Comment by Rob Crawford on 5/30 @ 12:49 pm #
And I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m in an incredibly shitty mood this week.
Comment by maggie katzen on 5/30 @ 12:51 pm #
aw Rob, did your grandmother die too? and then your spouse is gone for two weeks with the Guard?? so yeah, crappy mood here this week too.
Comment by SarahW on 5/30 @ 12:56 pm #
I busted my ankle.
Comment by maggie katzen on 5/30 @ 12:57 pm #
ouch, SarahW, how did you do that?
Comment by Ouroboros on 5/30 @ 12:58 pm #
A really fat carnitas burrito gave be heart burn..
Comment by Rob O'Connor on 5/30 @ 1:04 pm #
I watched Contessa Brewer on MSNBC for 5 minutes because the batteries in my remote went dead, and I couldn’t find replacements immeidately!
Comment by Rob Crawford on 5/30 @ 1:04 pm #
Nothing that bad, maggie, sorry to sound like a drama queen. Just a generalized “fuck the world and all who are in it” mood.
Comment by cranky-d on 5/30 @ 1:08 pm #
That’s pretty much situation normal at casa cranky-d. Unless I’ve been hitting the Irish whiskey; then I feel better about things.
Comment by maggie katzen on 5/30 @ 1:12 pm #
not at all, Rob. I think I’d probably be in a trough about now anyway, it’s just now I seem to have excuses. yay!
Comment by N. O'Brain on 5/30 @ 1:16 pm #
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation
-W.C. Fields
Comment by N. O'Brain on 5/30 @ 1:17 pm #
In a restaurant to a waitress: “Do you have frogs legs or do you always walk like that…
-Groucho Marx
Comment by bergerbilder on 5/30 @ 1:19 pm #
Hillary also said once,”If you find a turtle sittin’ on a fence post, you know it didn’t get there all by itself.” Sorry, but I forget the context. Maybe someone here can provide it, fictional or otherwise.
Also, here’s an obscure punch-line: “Frog with zero legs can’t hear.”
Comment by kelly on 5/30 @ 2:20 pm #
Bill put it there because it brought the turtle up to just below waist high.
Comment by mojo on 5/30 @ 3:02 pm #
BJ sounds like he ate Dan Rather.
Comment by Nico on 5/30 @ 3:12 pm #
Old Italian proverb:
“When you live amongst cripples, you’ll soon develop a limp”
Comment by Mikey NTH on 5/30 @ 4:04 pm #
Robert Benchley leaves a building in New York and addresses a uniformed man who believes is the doorman:
RB: “Get me a cab.”
Man: “I’m an admiral in the US Navy.”
RB: “In that case, get me a battleship.”
Comment by the struggler on 5/30 @ 7:36 pm #
If you wanna make squirrel brain gravy,you gotta crack a few skulls.
Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 5/30 @ 7:48 pm #
I thought squirrel brains were more a mix-with-scrambled-eggs thing.
Comment by mojo on 5/30 @ 8:43 pm #
*snerk*
Naw, that’s cows.
They don’t climb trees, as a general rule. Not as fuzzy, tail-wise, either.
Dang city-boys.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 5/30 @ 9:13 pm #
If you run head-first into a tree while chasing a squirrel, then you are either drunk or dumber than a labrador retreiver.
(N.B.: our lab-mix got four feet up the tree before the traction and velocity gave out.)
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates - UMBA on 5/30 @ 9:20 pm #
Did Rose Kennedy own a black dress?
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