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It’s Not What He Says [Dan Collins]

so much as the way he says it!

Conservatives suck at satire and are rarely funny on purpose, but I think Conservapedia struck comedy gold. Using sources such as Charles Krauthammer, Brent Bozell and World Net Daily, they couldn’t help but create a belly-laugher of a website and plenty of red meat for the frothing fringe that now dominates the Republican base. It’s going to be a long year…

ROFLMAO!

To be fair, though, Logie Murphy must concede that any would-be Rethug satirists have a serious challenge in attempting to compete at all with the situation in which the Dems find themselves, as beholden as they are to their base, which views most-liberal-voting-record-in-the-Senate and member of radical racialist parish Barack Obama as representative of the mainstream. I mean, what’s a wannabe satirist to do, when truth is more satirical than satire?

UPDATE: Speaking of Beyond Satire, Alistair Crooke of The Guardian has a piece whose title is “The naive armchair warriors are fighting a delusional war: Calls for the west to use force to restore its values in the face of radical Islam reveal a profound detachment from reality”. The first sentence, and this is a thing in which I do not shit unto you, begins as follows:

The French philosopher Michel Foucault notes . . .

He then goes on to speak of the constraints that speech communities place upon their members, and how they go about attempting to control them. Just so. But strangely missing from all of this is any recognition of the differences between a speech community in which a philosopher such as Foucault can express himself without fear of violent repercussion as versus those that might be profitably denominated radically Islamic. Nor does he seem to recognize the irony of referring to others as delusional, considering what he states regarding authorization to address a certain speech community. In other words, he’s . . . not to put too fine a point on it . . . a twatwaffle.

46 Replies to “It’s Not What He Says [Dan Collins]”

  1. Lisa says:

    And what, praythee, is wrong with having a liberal voting record? Remember, liberalism has come back into vogue.

    Marx is the new black, sweetie. Conservatism is like, so 2000.

  2. Lisa says:

    “Marx is the New Black” I think I coined someone’s campaign slogan. Oops. Sorry Barack.

  3. What’s particularly disturbing to me is the attitude the left has: are they that bizarrely out of touch with the country they live in, or are they just putting on, hoping that if they repeat the Big Lie enough it will become accepted as conventional wisdom?

  4. Lisa says:

    Ya know Christopher, this country is as equally liberal as it is conservative. Perhaps it is YOU who are out of touch with your fellows Americans. You guys have been dismissing 50 percent of the country as if it doesn’t matter (or as if it is some foreign set of concepts that “real Americans” don’t ascribe too. Liberalism, like conservatism, is older than this country. It has been a force for good as well as a destructive force, like conservatism. I know it is more fun to pretend that those who don’t think like you are inhuman, out-of-touch, evildoers. But alas, we are your fellow Americans.

  5. Dan Collins says:

    That’s fine, Lisa, but I don’t understand how you can think that Barack’s record is “mainstream.”

  6. JD says:

    Lisa – I applaud you for actually being overtly Liberal. Usually the secproggs and the Marxist like to claim that they are moderates, or independents, rather than admit that they are left libs committed to socialism. Good on you.

  7. JD says:

    Barack doesn’t have a record, so how could he claim to be mainstream. Unless voting present is mainstream.

  8. serr8d says:

    But alas, we are your fellow Americans.

    And you did a fine job of joining with America after 9/11, for what, 6 weeks or so?

    Since, liberals seem to be adrift in BDS, drawn like moths to the far left of your political party. As evidenced by your increasing proclivity for unpalatable candidates (Kerry, Clinton, Obama).

    We hated to see you go.

  9. JD says:

    serr8d – Isn’t their passing kind of sad. It is bad for our system, actually. Having a strong opposition party is important to our system, but somehow, that idea has been lost on the Left Libs of today, who equate being a principled opposition with hating Bush.

  10. McGehee says:

    And what, praythee, is wrong with having a liberal voting record?

    A good question. Let’s ask Barack why he doesn’t want to be thought of as liberal.

  11. lee says:

    Conservatives suck at satire and are rarely funny on purpose,

    Wait…I’m not funny?

    SHIT, sorry people.

    Seriously though, I guess much of humor depends on common perspective. Take the Gipper, he had republicans LTAO over “bombing begins in five minutes”.

    Dems, not so much.

  12. dicentra says:

    Sounds like Meeestair Crooke has been walloped in the head by Foucault’s famous pendulum once too many times.

    See? We can too make funny.

  13. Carin says:

    . I know it is more fun to pretend that those who don’t think like you are inhuman, out-of-touch, evildoers. But alas, we are your fellow Americans.

    What comes to mind, are the words of RR – paraphrased: It’s not that liberals don’t know anything. It’s just that so much of what they know isn’t so.

    And, actually, Just about everyone in this country is “liberal.” I was a self-described liberal before I wised-up. The Democratic party has moved …some-place else.

  14. guinsPen says:

    And what, praythee, is wrong with having a liberal voting record?

    Besideth everything?

  15. guinsPen says:

    Marx is the new black, sweetie. Conservatism is like, so 2000.

    Marxism is like, so 200,000,000 unsatisfied customers.

  16. Lisa says:

    Oh come on. Remember Clinton? The man who launched a thousand crappy conspiracy books from Regenery Press? Please. Sometimes you just frigging hate the president you get stuck with. I mean really despise the asshole. We are under no obligation to have any affectionate feelings toward our president. We can’t shoot the bastards, but we can sure spend inordinate amounts of time positing on whether he shot his best friend in the head in a park and wrote a phony suicide note, raped half of Arkansas, has a ridiculously small penis…..or call him Smirky the Chimp, Prince Snippy, or the Chimp in the Flight Suit and opine on how much coke he snorted in his salad days. It is unproductive as hell, but it passes the time until the next election. And it certainly does NOT mean that you hate freedom and love the terrorists.

  17. guinsPen says:

    Progressive Energy Conservation.

  18. guinsPen says:

    We can’t shoot the bastards

    That’s what Marxists do.

  19. happyfeet says:

    He has a very curvy penis. What sometimes has sores on it. It was documented.

  20. Jack Klompus says:

    Quoting Foucault is so early 90’s. What’s ironic is that the gay philosopher with a taste for S&M who knowingly spread HIV I’m going to have to go ahead and say um yeeeeahhh probably wouldn’t do so well in an Islamist society. But I’m obviously lacking intellect for not nuancing that argument with trendy postmodernist citations.

  21. mishu says:

    Marxism is like Bullwinkle trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

    Rocky: But that trick never works.

    Bullwinkle: This time, for sure! Presto!

  22. Crimso says:

    “who equate being a principled opposition with hating Bush.”

    “Is this the right room for an argument?”

  23. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Marxism is like Bullwinkle trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

    Rocky: But that trick never works.

    Bullwinkle: This time, for sure! Presto!

    And if it doesn’t, we’ll just murder another hundred million people.

  24. Lisa says:

    LOL @ #21. I will admit to pretentiously discussing the merits of Marxism (always wearing a fashionable black turtleneck and smoky eye makeup) while in college. But I am a realist. There are a couple of European countries that have good, free-market economies with a sprinkle of socialism that balances out quite nicely (of course they have like, 20 citizens but still…..)

  25. happyfeet says:

    20 homogeneous citizens, really.

  26. JD says:

    20 homogeneous citizens, who are intolerant of intolerance, and luvs them some Marxism. And, leg hair.

  27. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Lisa, you’d think by now, with all you formal training and all, especially in the beat down halls of angst-land, you would be keenly aware of fairly accurate political populace percentages at any given time. In that regard, the far Left, including all the cult-isms comprise an estimated 15%, tops, of the present census. How you get to “half the American electorate” from there goes a long way toward explaining the phenomena of “short people compensation”. The entire Democrat gaggle is a minority, let alone the whack job Left.

    Bullwinkle: “Wonder whats up my sleeve?”

    Rocky J. Squirrel: “Gee Bullwinkle….I don’t know.”

    Bullwinkle: (pulling Bear head out of sleeve….Rrrrooooaaarrrr)….”Oops…..wrong sleeve.”

  28. Another Bob says:

    @20

    Said homogeneity being why the socialism part works out at all.

  29. Another Bob says:

    Doh! @25 not 20. (Damn.)

  30. Patrick says:

    “Is this the right room for an argument?”

    No, it isn’t.

  31. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Patrick, we tend to state facts with clarity and sourcing, whereas the Left passionately avoids facts, relying on “feelings”, half baked opinions, and “ought-ta-be’s”. Obvious difference.

  32. psycho... says:

    Ah, the good ol’ days.

    Quoting Foucault is so early 90’s.

    Crooke’s some kinda not-American, so in his case, it’s so early ’70s.

    But it’s not wise to accept the “old news” constraint the academic speech community has adopted from a certain politics and placed upon its members, because 1) it is not an unideological constraint, and 2) we are not them.

    In Foucault’s discourse, he identified a further group of rules serving to control language: none may enter into discourse on a specific subject unless he or she is deemed qualified to do so.

    Crooke has misunderstood this in a funny way, or taken a commonplace and stuck Foucault’s name on it — also funny. The Foucault insight that applies (well, it’s Lenin’s, actually, but he was for it) is this:

    Speaking for others — adopting the pose of the advocate or activist for a voiceless absence — is a way of constraining it to that very voicelessness, of displacing it in discourse, inventing the absence you fill.

    And look whose “discourse” is spoken for and not quoted anywhere in that piece.

    Old news.

    (And I’m sick of bitching about Obama, so imagine that part of this yourself.)

  33. mishu says:

    BBH, Patrick’s referring to a Monty Python sketch called “The Argument Sketch”.

  34. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – “Is this the room for Knights with chopped off arms?”

    – “No, but thats just a flesh wound, so you’ll be ok”

  35. TmjUtah says:

    I remember the united America of the first days after the 9/11 attacks.

    Then, it became clear that the Bush administration was staying on the “new tone” and declining to waste time delving back over the last administration’s systemic failure to counter al Qaeda/OBL. Instead effort and resources were marshaled for the fight ahead. The Left stopped worrying about tar and feathers and got on with their business of using whatever means necessary to sabotage a Republican administration.

    There’s opposition, and then there’s enemy.

    I have voiced my distaste here, before,…. my disgust… for John McCain’s ascension to the Republican nomination for president. He’s a Republican on paper and little else.

    But he’s not the enemy. McCain/Feingold excepted.

    But he’s not a racist Marxist ideologue, nor is he an incompetent crook with delusions of entitlement. He’s paid a Hell of a price for being an American, and he volunteered for that gig. Nobody can take that away from him, and I’ll stand up for him against all comers on that point.

    And I’ve never seen him in a pantsuit, come to think of it.

    But he’s not the enemy. He’ll get my vote against Obama.

  36. Patrick says:

    Oh, I’m sorry. This is abuse.

  37. Patrick says:

    Rats, I got the line wrong. Been too long since I saw that.

    BBH, imply I’m a “brain-dead liberal” again and I just might get mad at you, even if I do like Russians. I won’t take it personally the first time. Keep in mind that I’m mostly Irish, so I know how to hold a grudge.

  38. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    I will admit to pretentiously discussing the merits of Marxism (always wearing a fashionable black turtleneck and smoky eye makeup) while in college.

    “I will admit to pretentiously discussing the merits of National Socialism (always wearing a bitchin’ Hugo Boss uniform and brilliantly-polished jackboots) while in college.”

    “I will admit to pretentiously discussing the merits of the Ku Klux Klan (always wearing a 1200 thread count linen sheet) while in college.”

    “I will admit to pretentiously discussing the merits of the Khmer Roughe (always surrounded by a tastefully scrimshawed pile of human skulls) while in college.”

    It’s not something to be proud of, Lisa.

    Really.

  39. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    “Khmer Roughe”?

    Mmm-kay.

  40. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Thats alright Patrick, we Jooooosssss are used to abuse, and discounts at Kubutz Bobs shoe World….

  41. Rusty says:

    To enjoy marxism somebody somewhere has to be practicing capitalism. So why even bother with the marxism thing? Irrespective of the bloating corpses, I mean.

  42. Cowboy says:

    I mean, what’s a wannabe satirist to do, when truth is more satirical than satire?

    I feel ya, Dan. It’s like Jonathan Swift woke up one morning and found out that the British already ate Irish babies!

  43. N. O'Brain says:

    “#

    Comment by guinsPen on 3/24 @ 8:00 pm #

    Marx is the new black, sweetie. Conservatism is like, so 2000.

    Marxism is like, so 200,000,000 unsatisfied customers.”

    Oh, come on, don’t exaggerate.

    The real estimates are somewhere between 80 and 120 million killed by the commies over the course of the 20th century.

  44. Moron Pundit says:

    How do you satirize someone that says “Israelis are the real terrorists” with a straight face?

    There’s no wiggle room.

  45. McGehee says:

    How do you satirize someone that says “Israelis are the real terrorists” with a straight face?

    I was going to say, “Quote him accurately,” but then I remembered, that’s how you smear him.

  46. Ian S. says:

    Liberalism, like conservatism, is older than this country.

    Actually, the two main ingredients of modern liberal/Democratic Party thinking (Marxism and post-modernism) both are from well after the founding of the US.

Comments are closed.