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So THAT’S What “Spitzer” Means [Dan Collins]

Via AoS, NY Governor Elliot Spitzer huddles with his staff to impart the news that he’s involved with a prostitution ring. Bwahahahahahaha!
Hmmmmmm.  I wonder why they always refer to it as a “ring.”

UPDATE: Bwahahahahahahaha!!1!!!! I haven’t grinned this way since I found out about Gunter Grass’s Nazi past.

114 Replies to “So THAT’S What “Spitzer” Means [Dan Collins]”

  1. is it a gay prostitution ring? otherwise, DON’T CARE!

  2. sashal says:

    hahaha,
    He richly deserves the consequences.
    Was he fighting the prostitution mafia some years ago?
    How about Wall Street, will he lay off of them now?

  3. Dan Collins says:

    But, well . . . it’s illegal, and I seem to recall his being State’s Attorney General.

  4. Enoch_Root says:

    details, details, dan… but it does explain how the limousine liberals afford their rock n roll lifestyles while taxing the fuck out of the rest of us.

  5. Topsecretk9 says:

    DId the AP play name that party?

  6. Mr. B says:

    Because of the Patriarchy?

  7. Robert says:

    Why do they call it a prostitution ring?

    Because it’s time to circle the wagons, boys!

    ROVE YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!

  8. Pablo says:

    Holy shit. Fox says he’s resigning.

  9. Enoch_Root says:

    i think theyll prob pin it to teh warming and all… in addition to the ph2oarmaceutical industry

  10. Techie says:

    MSNBC is reporting, I think, that the Feds stumbled upon this investigating the Gambinos….

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

  11. Pablo says:

    But, well . . . it’s illegal, and I seem to recall his being State’s Attorney General.

    Yep, 8 years worth.

  12. Belvedere jones says:

    Fox: “expected” to resign/

  13. LionDude says:

    Gavin Newsome is going to need some street cred like this if he really wants to make a serious CA gubernatorial run.

  14. sashal says:

    well, one super delegate less for Hillary.

    Out of curiosity, how much the governor is paid?
    That service was $5,500 an hour

  15. Karl says:

    Hey, TIME got it half-right.

  16. Drumwaster says:

    He has now resigned. Blind black man to take over. Chickens roosting comfortably.

  17. sashal says:

    btw, watch for the WS workers dancing on the streets

  18. Topsecretk9 says:

    well, one super delegate less for Hillary.

    At least she still has super delegate William “90 G in the Freezer” Jefferson’s support!

  19. Pablo says:

    No resignation, but they’re now suggesting he’s been indicted.

  20. bergerbilder says:

    AP won’t say Spitzer’s a democrat, only that his nemesis is republican.

  21. sashal says:

    I personally think prostitution should be legal, health services and police has to supervise.
    As far as Spitzer is concerned , may be if his own wife forgives him and he goes into sex rehab center for a month then we won’t make a big deal out of it ?

  22. Drumwaster says:

    I take that back. Lawyers sure do know how to parse the language, don’t they?

  23. Fat Man says:

    Allah Akbar!

  24. BJTexs says:

    I understand that he was either client 6 or 9.

    ….

    What?

  25. Rob Crawford says:

    As attorney general, he also had prosecuted at least two prostitution rings as head of the state’s organized crime task force.

    Can you say “taking out the competition”? It’s one of the “public-private partnerships” the Dems are so happy to announce!

  26. Timstigator says:

    Whose $5500 was it? Not on his salary.

  27. N. O'Brain says:

    “#

    Comment by sashal on 3/10 @ 1:12 pm #

    well, one super delegate less for Hillary.

    Out of curiosity, how much the governor is paid?
    That service was $5,500 an hour”

    There is, however, a 10% discount on the “Abu Gharib Special”.

  28. Slartibartfast says:

    What was the guy thinking? If he wanted to get into a sweet Presidential appointment, the security clearance might just turn up something like that.

  29. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    This is some rich, creamy schaudenfreude I’m enjoying over here.

    (Actually, looking at a picture of ol’ Eliot, I can see why he has to pay for “it.”)

  30. Techie says:

    He is not a number! He is a free man!

  31. irongrampa says:

    I feel so bad for his wife and 3 children. What an incredible putz this moron is!

  32. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    So… Spitzer or swallows?

  33. Jim in KC says:

    Out of curiosity, how much the governor is paid?

    Officially or unofficially? Or, as someone else noted, maybe he was being remunerated in services for taking out the competition.

    Anyway, it’s kind of stupid. There’s no reason why prostitution shouldn’t be completely legal.

    (Prostitution in the classical sense, I mean, not things that are indistinguishable from prostitution, such as politics.)

  34. BJTexs says:

    Was anybody else left less than satisfied with that somewhat self serving “apology?” What is it about so many “progressive” politicians that they feel the need to remind everyone about their “progressive programs” and “real change” just before apologizing for a “personal matter” that “doen’t meet my own standards” while never actually mentioning that the “personal matter” involves a frackin’ federal organized crime probe?!

    I need to find me a paper bag…

  35. Bill Clinton says:

    Way to go!! Do you have phone numbers? Do you need some?? Need a cigar?? What does impeachment mean anyway?? Thanks Bill

  36. Pablo says:

    Spitzer comes from gobs of money. His salary is irrelevant. What is relevant is his posture as Mr. Ethical Super Law and Order Anti-Corruption Guy. Reminds me of our Most Ethical Congress Ever.

  37. mojo says:

    BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!!

    Hey, somebody hadda say it.

  38. Mikey NTH says:

    Well, that’s one more scratched off the old Democratic VP list…

  39. Enoch_Root says:

    He’s Gay?

  40. Mwalimu Daudi says:

    What was the guy thinking? If he wanted to get into a sweet Presidential appointment, the security clearance might just turn up something like that.

    Spitzer was probably thinking that in the afterglow of a Clinton or Obama victory any investigation would get squashed.

  41. Dan Collins says:

    He was thinking with his dick. He loved the romance of his double life. He was drunk with philauty.

  42. Bill Clinton says:

    It’s not sex because I SAID SO!! Bill

  43. Topsecretk9 says:

    Comment by BJTexs on 3/10 @ 1:37 pm #

    Number 9

  44. JD says:

    This is so funny, on so many levels.

  45. kelly says:

    Couldn’t happen to a more deserving dick. Something tells me Hank Greenberg is laughing his ass off while he selects just the right vintage of Crystal and pops the cork.

  46. sashal says:

    Dan, now Spitzer’s wife can ask Hillary’s advice on how to deal with it. Undoubtedly and unquestionably and regardless of the dubious 3 a.m. ad, HC has plenty of experience here, multitude of thresholds achieved…

  47. Dan Collins says:

    3 am ad. Hahahaha. Whom do you want answering the phone when Billy Jeff’s picked up in a whorehouse sweep?

    Personally, I hope it’s Hillary.

  48. happyfeet says:

    This limits his options going forward I think, but his best work seemed like it was way, way behind him anyway really. This scandal doesn’t detract I don’t think from his legacy with respect to expanding the fascist ambitions of district attorneys everywhere. But what’s interesting is that a lot of people probably didn’t realize the extent to which the two Americas have entirely separate whores what they call.

  49. BJTexs says:

    Show of hands: How many of you think that, with all of the enemies he has made with his high profile corruption probes and sanctimonious self promotion, dozens of powerful people will be coming out of the woodwork to stand by him in his hour of need?

    **crickets**

    Thought so…

  50. Dan Collins says:

    True, hf.
    There’s something very unegalitarian about that.

  51. Dan Collins says:

    BJ, I think Mr. Sharpener is going to get shivved by one of those Wall Streeters in da joynt.

  52. Divine Brown says:

    Well, it could have been worse. He could have been identified as “client 69”.

  53. BJTexs says:

    “Hey, Spitzer! I got your IPO right heeya!!!

  54. Mwalimu Daudi says:

    Q: Where am I?
    A: In the Village.

    Q: What do you want?
    A: Information.

    Q: Whose side are you on?
    A: That would be telling…. We want information. Information! INFORMATION!

    Q: You won’t get it.
    A: By hook or by crook, we will.

    Q: Who are you?
    A: The new Number Two.

    Q: Who is Number One?
    A: (after a pause) You are Number Nine.”

    Q: I am not a number — I AM THE GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK. YOU WILL BE INVESTIGATED AND INDICTED. RESISTENCE IS FUTILE.
    A: (laughter….)

  55. sashal says:

    hf, they belong to the world’s two oldest professions-Spitzer and the girls, that’s why pols and prostitutes got caught together so often, can’t resist that inherent mutual attraction.
    btw, have you seen pics of those hookers?
    I’d like to hit that…(sorry , honey, many kisses….)

  56. mojo says:

    Hay, at 5 grand a pop there better be some serious talent on hand, know what I mean?

  57. Timstigator says:

    But $5500 an hour??? I mean, that’s some wad to blow.

  58. kelly says:

    Allah has posted some of the transcript of the taped conversations between the call girls. Client 9 apparently wanted himself some different kind of action referred to (between the girls) as “unsafe.” Client 9 also could be “difficult.”

    Ana Marie Cox is unavailable for comment just yet.

  59. kelly says:

    $5,500 an hour is fairly steep. I’ve seen some high-priced ones in Vegas (never partook) but I think the going rate for even the ultra hot ones goes about a thou/night.

  60. psycho... says:

    (Prostitution in the classical sense, I mean, not things that are indistinguishable from prostitution, such as politics.)

    Hey now.

    Until we find a few hundred million corpses stuffed behind some brothel’s FICKEN MACHT FREI headboards, that’s just gratuitously insulting to whores.

    Prostitution is shamed by its (very close (very, very close)) association with politics, not vice versa.

  61. BJTexs says:

    Allah reports from Radar that Hillary’s tech minions have already scrubbed bleachy clean any and all references to Elliot the Spitzer.

    Heh!

  62. TmjUtah says:

    If these revelations were just incidental to a Federal investigation, I would imagine that in the not too distant future he’s going to remember $5500 an hour for services rendered as a steal…

    Lawyers. Always on top, and not a pillow mint to be had.

  63. Jim in KC says:

    I mean merely by their operating characteristics, not their outcomes, psycho…

  64. Dan Collins says:

    Agreed, psycho. The difference between whores and politicians is that whores put out.

  65. Pablo says:

    Dude!

    Aaaaaahahahahahahaaaa!

  66. BJTexs says:

    The difference between whores and politicians is that whores put out.

    …and politicians take out.

  67. Slartibartfast: What was the guy thinking?

    He was obviously letting the little head do the big head’s thinking. What a waste. My sympathies to his family.

  68. Trojan Man says:

    10:1 the real news is who was paying for the girl.

  69. Ric Locke says:

    Had to do this one.

    Regards,
    Ric

  70. BJTexs says:

    Kos and HuffPo commentators calling this “no big deal” and “right wimd noise machine” in 3 … 2 … 1 …

  71. Ric Locke says:

    Too slow on the draw.

    Regards,
    Ric

  72. Ric Locke says:

    Nononono, BJ.

    “It’s only sex! Winger prudes!”

    Regards,
    Ric

  73. Dan Collins says:

    Wait, Ric. What do you mean “had to do” and “too slow on draw”?

  74. sashal says:

    pablo, in regards to #66.
    Some people think, that personal indiscretaion do not matter in fight for the right policies

  75. TmjUtah says:

    I’m not going to link, but second comment on the HuffPo Spitzer thread relativizes the offense to “rethuglican” episodes.

    Some targets are too big too miss, eh?

  76. Pablo says:

    Sashal, some people think that personal indiscretions only matter if there’s an R after your name. That place is lousy with them. I remain amused.

  77. N. O'Brain says:

    “Comment by TmjUtah on 3/10 @ 3:10 pm #

    If these revelations were just incidental to a Federal investigation, Lawyers. Always on top, and not a pillow mint to be had.”

    In his biography, that’s why he said he became a lawyer.

    “On his deathbed, Dad told ‘Never fuck up!'”

  78. Ric Locke says:

    I was trying to get comment #69, Dan.

    TrojanMan managed it instead, which I thought appropriate but still had to express my disappointment.

    Regards,
    Ric

  79. BJTexs says:

    You’re right, Ric, but I’m keeping my “right wing noise machine” and adding “hypocrites!!!” to go with the prude meme.

    My condolances for your loss. :-)

  80. Merovign says:

    I was just thinking that, frankly, there’s not really anything I could do that would get me $5500 an hour.

    I mean, most people could work one hour a month at that rate. Two hours and you’re golden. 3 hours – there’s your retirement plan.

    Dayamn.

  81. Dan Collins says:

    Yeah, Merovign. Kinda reminds me of the victimage of the phone sex women.

  82. Slartibartfast says:

    His wife is nice-looking. Not that it matters.

  83. Slartibartfast says:

    Um…ouch.

  84. Ric Locke says:

    BTW, not nearly OT enough:

    fractal wrongness

    The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person’s worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person’s worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

    Debating with a person who is fractally wrong leads to infinite regress, as every refutation you make of that person’s opinions will lead to a rejoinder, full of half-truths, leaps of logic, and outright lies, that requires just as much refutation to debunk as the first one. It is as impossible to convince a fractally wrong person of anything as it is to walk around the edge of the Mandelbrot set in finite time.

    If you ever get embroiled in a discussion with a fractally wrong person on the Internet–in mailing lists, newsgroups, or website forums–your best bet is to say your piece once and ignore any replies, thus saving yourself time.

    Regards,
    Ric

  85. Mikey NTH says:

    Incorrect first premises, Ric. You start wrong, and each conclusion builds on the incorrect initial starting point. You go from who dropped two skyscrapers to…God alone knows where.

  86. Ric Locke says:

    Well, Mikey, that’s exactly how you generate a fractal, so the comment stands.

    And anyway, I’m really just passing it on. Follow the link. If you have much knowledge of IT, it will have you alternately laughing and cursing.

    Regards,
    Ric

  87. Darleen says:

    been gone all this morning, so I’m catching up.

    The comments in the thread at Mandy’s Panda Place are hilarious!

    “I am honestly surprised by this.”

    “Well, yeah. He’s not a Republican. Who’d a thunk it?”

    “Meanwhile, how many Republicans are still serving terms in Washington for similar “offenses?”
    I just don’t get it. And, just like that, there might go our chance at overtaking the NY Senate and FINALLY seeing some marriage equality…”

    “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t give a shit. If McCain can fuck around on his first wife with a high-society junkie then I don’t feel at all obliged to care where Spitzer puts his penis. AFAIK he didn’t get into office on any bullshit con-job of a Family Values platform”

    “He broke the law, which is particularly hypocritical as a former straight-arrow prosecutor, current Governor, but still, it’s a law that exists almost entirely as a result of right-wing sex panic ”

    “while we can certainly be dismayed that Spitzer was so reckless, we shouldn’t play into the right wing’s hands by accepting their panicky, sex-negative perspective and agreeing that sex, by itself, constitutes guilt.”

    “When a rightie gets all up in your face about this, as inevitably a rightie will, force the rightie to concede that at least these were female hookers.”

    “as long as he wasn’t fucking little girls (or, like most Repukes, little boys), who cares? ”

    aren’t “progressives” some of the most loving, tolerant peoples?

    heh

  88. Jeffersonian says:

    This is the sort of situation the word “schadenfreude” was invented for. What fun it will be to watch this opportunistic, self-aggrandizing little fuck keel-hauled.

  89. Carin says:

    I was over at Huffpo reading the comments … funny, but expected, reponses.

    Don’t care.
    Rethuglians do it too.
    He was set up by Bush.

    Yada yada yada.

  90. Timstigator says:

    Follow the money. I agree; that’s where the real story is. If he was caught with a $300 hooker nobody would be thinking it was taxpayer money.

  91. Jeff G. says:

    I got twenty bucks says he dressed up like Bo Peep and asked to have one of them big curved staffs planted in his undercarriage.

  92. Rob Crawford says:

    I don’t think he was using tax payer money. I think it’s more likely he was getting a discount rate from the Sicilians in exchange for some favors. Maybe the first time he paid the full rate, but from then on, I imagine he had a “frequent flyer” discount.

    And I’d be looking into some of his prosecutions, too. What an ingenious way to take out some competition, with none of the fuss and bad press of a gang war — have a prosecutor in your pocket. As icing on the cake, any time somebody gets close, he can let you know, and you can swap out the big guys for someone small and out of favor, let the government take them out…

    Or, Spitzer’s just an idiot with an inability to keep it in his pants and the arrogance to think he’d never be caught/punished. Occam says this is the reality, but, man…

  93. Rob Crawford says:

    I got twenty bucks says he dressed up like Bo Peep and asked to have one of them big curved staffs planted in his undercarriage.

    I’d bet on diapers. Or maybe the kind of thing you mainly find in German films involving glass tables. (And Cartman’s mother)

    But if it is Bo Peep and the staff — which end went in?

  94. daleyrocks says:

    He’s going to be able to claim he was doing all sorts of different “research” with these hookers to benefit the people of the Great State of New York, of which he just happens to be one, don’t you damn forget.

  95. kelly says:

    This really made my day. Really.

  96. jim warren says:

    I just want to know who made the call requesting that particular bordello be investigated. I’m confident that call was made with the knowledge that our friend Elliot was a client, and the intent of bringing him down. Folks, the man who made that call, whoever he is, is the true Governor of New York.

  97. Brett says:

    Still no resignation, which should have been the first news we had of this situation. Have Democrats no honor?

  98. Jeffersonian says:

    Still no resignation, which should have been the first news we had of this situation. Have Democrats no honor?

    After Gerry Studds was censured for drilling an underage male Congressional page, he was given standing ovations by supporters. Honor?

  99. guinsPen says:

    The difference between whores and politicians is that whores put out.

    That, and only a fraction of whores try to steal your wallet when you’re not looking.

  100. Darleen says:

    I just want to know who made the call requesting that particular bordello be investigated

    ABC

    The federal investigation of a New York prostitution ring was triggered by Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s suspicious money transfers, initially leading agents to believe Spitzer was hiding bribes, according to federal officials.

    It was only months later that the IRS and the FBI determined that Spitzer wasn’t hiding bribes but payments to a company called QAT, what prosecutors say is a prostitution operation operating under the name of the Emperors Club.

  101. Rob Crawford says:

    That, and only a fraction of whores try to steal your wallet when you’re not looking.

    You’re also less likely to catch something nasty or be arrested when dealing with a whore.

  102. alppuccino says:

    My sympathies to his family.

    Why? Did they like him?

  103. N. O'Brain says:

    The difference between whores and politicians is that whores stay bought.

  104. Merovign says:

    Still no resignation, which should have been the first news we had of this situation. Have Democrats no honor?

    Pfffft. That’s funny.

    The Dems are rapidly becoming self-parodying. You don’t need to mock them, just quote them.

    Mind you, the mocking will continue, ’cause hey, it’s fun.

  105. Mcgruder says:

    As an investigative reporter, i was always a little gobsmacked by the operation AG Spitzer ran. I mean, every elected official leaks–but these guys took it to some level that no reporter i know (and I mean no one) had ever seen–documents that had hardly been entered into evidence, strategy, everything. I mean, it is difficult to embellish how completely and utterly ruthless they were in using public means to utterly and completely crush the AGs targets. Their opponents, who were on the defensive to begin and were constrained by what they could say, were put back on their heels, usually to stay.

    I wont lie to you and pretend other “public servants” dont do something like this (Rove largely perfected it), but not as an operating methodology. Nor will I pretend that I was not the benefit of this largesse, or that I did not use some of what was leaked.

    I am proudest of having stood against the AG’s operation in two very high-profile cases, both of which brought heated angry phone calls to me and my boss–and “the penalty box” wherein the doc flow was cut off–, not that my stand made me all that popular among my editors.

    I guess, in hindsight, I can see a pattern of professional recklessness that spoke to personal flaws. Although, no one I know saw this angle coming.

  106. Dan Collins says:

    Bravo, McGruder.

  107. SGT Ted says:

    I sure am glad that the Democrats are cleaning up that culture of corruption.

  108. Timstigator says:

    Driving back from my 12 year-old’s hoops victory, I had on talk radio discussing Spitzer. A caller who said he worked for Obama’s campaign basically said there is no big deal, and that liberals “don’t eat their own as you guys do” and that “they understand everyone has sexual activities” that should be overlooked no matter what. I just about flipped the car over.

    I must be a prude.

  109. JD says:

    When the gleeeeeeens were writing in their normal breathlessly moralizing tone, while knobbing off Spritzer, I would if they swallowed, spit, or dodged?

  110. Donald says:

    Don’t anybody feel sorry for his wife. The kids, sure. She is a sanctimonious piece of shit in her own right and has been right behind this asshole supporting his class warfare “struggle” the whole frickin way. After all, she’s an attorney.

  111. Mikey NTH says:

    #89 Ric – I was agreeing with you. I wasn’t saying you were incorect, just that a person starts wrong and keeps getting wronger.

Comments are closed.