oatmeal: “Here’s something I bet you didn’t know: the Cream of Wheat guy — in addition to helping sex up farina for the masses — was a damn fine jazz musician.
“I mean, queer as a chocolate cupcake, sure. Used to like to dress up like Ella Fitzgerald and pee sitting down, in fact. But man, could he ever blow!
” — On the sax, that is. And before you get any ideas, I myself am 100% Quaker rolled oats, my man. Only dude ass I’ve ever been inside was a direct result of some guy’s sensible, well-balanced diet. And that’s just, like, part of the gig, you know…?”
FIBER-CON!!!
That oughta loosen things up a bit.
I love the opening conversational gambit.
I use that all the time when I want to insult somebody.
This is HUGE, and the oatmeal jumps right out there and puts his name on record. You just don’t see that anymore. The Cream of Wheat guy needs to get out there fast – with his wife by his side – and get his story out or he’s done before he even got started. No way he can just dismiss this cause it happened so long ago. What a nightmare to wake up to.
Being oatmeal would give “the light at the end of the tunnel” a meaning I really don’t care for.
this guy is straight?
he frontin jeff…..just look at that hat.
Must be oatmeal cuz maypo don’t quake like that.
Time for a second look at Malt-O-Meal?
Nothing quite like microwaved Cream-of-Wheat with brown sugar and cinammon in the lobby every morning.
RACIST!
“And that’s just, like, part of the gig, you know…?â€Â
Yeah, Oatmeal, but does your wife know about this…
http://www.slashfood.com/2007/01/14/food-porn-chocolate-drizzled-oatmeal-raisin-cookies/
DRIZZLER!
BECAUSE OF THE HOMOPHOBIA!
Posthumous recognition for Frank L. White, Cream of Wheat Guy.
Colon Blow?
Hey now, lotsa guys have a wide stance when they play. Doesn’t mean nothin’
Fella Itsgerald
Hey, pass another bowel, er, bowl, would ya?
Colon blow? I thought that is what happened after a late nite Taco Bell or White Castle run.
I think the Timmers was taking more of a rimshot.
Happens all the time. There I am, grooving good, legs out for balance, start tapping my foot and some fucking Quaker comes over and tells everyone I wanted to fuck his mouth.
Does this mean that we’re going to start saying “that’s so Cream of Wheat,” on the order of “that’s so Brokeback” a few years ago?
Because I’m pretty sure I couldn’t deal with that.
SwiftC*cksmokers for Truth!
Suddenly I don’t know what to make of my instant organic fax-seed oatmeal.
I always thought the cowboy on the old Kellogg’s Sugar Pops box looked a little too “Village People”. On the other hand, Wilford Brimley was clearly ready to kick ass after a bowl of Grape Nuts. Hypermasculine, to be sure.
The Cream of Wheat guy is just starting to find his voice.
The Cream of Wheat guy brings one tiny touch of gladness to my heart. It’s a passing fancy.
That Cream of Wheat guy, not the true grits.
Y’all are so bigoted against the Gleenwaldian Cream of Wheat guy. Feat the wheat germ.
My empty oatbran dish mocks me.
Feat the wheat germ.
Stunt the yogurt.
I have no comment other than to note that you simply cannot get this sort of blogging anywhere else.
Oatmeal has lots of iron is all. So you should know that. If you eat oatmeal a lot basically you would be dumb to take supplements with iron. Especially if you don’t do that menstruating thing. Also it’s worse when you’re really old cause you’re so close to dying anyway.
This stuff, on the other hand…not ghey at all.
Also it’s worse when you’re really old cause you’re so close to dying anyway.
If you’re old, shouldn’t you be doing society a service by taking the extra iron? The longer you live, the bigger your drain on society. And what with global warming, and overpopulation…
Honestly, it’s looking like they had the right idea with “Logan’s Run.”
Carin, I’m sure nishi has a plan that would work for everyone.
BJ – Damn straight. We don’t want any barely functional flesh dolls hanging around using up scarce resources. No sir!
That’s right, dr, either deny em liquids (for that oh so humane dehydration death, have the painkillers handy just in case) or triple up their vitaman supplements.
Brings a whole new meaning to “Iron Cross.”
Maybe we can kill the flesh dolls by shooting the unused blastula we aren’t going to use for ESCR at them, or is that mixing science and religion? nishi probably thinks she knows.
Oh. Carin normally you’d be right but the thing is right now we want to keep the geezer houses off the market I think.
Genius, dr! Let’s do this quick: Flesh dolls, blastula and the over-the-hill-gangs packed into a hole under the shuttle launch site. Qucik, clean and SPECATULAR!
For those who might disagree: u r so stpid! I blame Kyoto … and livestock … but not Lilo.
Burn Baby Burn!
At the end of the day today, I’ll remove my previous comment, as well.
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Comment by McGehee on 2/21 @ 10:09 am #
Being oatmeal would give “the light at the end of the tunnel†a meaning I really don’t care for.
You would if there were a cave in. So to speak.
Oatmeal, how can you sit there and say shit like “I’m a 100% Quaker rolled oats..” ? Like Luanne didnt walk in on you and Allen Ginsberg playing hide the bolognie… and I’m not even going to bring up what happened in the back of that crappy old hippie bus.. Merry Pranksters indeed.. More like randy, smelly goat boys..
Damn. Sorry Jeff, I was one of those that saw the picture of Dan and the teddy.
As if that wasn’t traumatic enough, now I have to live with this!
The Quaker Oats man and the founder of Life Chiropractic University….hmmm…
I does likes to click the links. You really never know what you’ll find, but no mores. Promise.
To avoid clicking links, get Firefox and the Cooliris previews.
There’s nothing better…fast, in and out, no traces.
If it ain’t 100% Quaker rolled oats, it’s Blowtmeal.
Thanks serr8d. How cool is that? A lot cool. It would be cooler if if you could drag the url to the stack though. But still, very very neat.
Oh. I get it. At first I wasn’t getting that little icon thingy next to the links.
Now, happyfeet, if you really want to check out some images, get the Firefox add-on Piclens.
Search g00gle, images, and click the little blue icon on the bottom left corner.
Buckle up.
That one looks cool but I’ll probably wait til I get my new machine done to really play with it. I added it though.
also, um, you gonna eat that cupcake? I’d hit that.
@ 32 & 34
(soylent greenly) gP: Eat me.
serr8d – Thanks for that link. Cool stuff.
Overheard via a certain “satellite,” supposedly no longer in existence, at least according to certain ‘officials’:
Unidentified Man One (UMO): So then, the grits type stuff says some shit (editors note: is that pun intended, was he making jokes about it to her????) about it being “part of the gig” and-
Unidentified Woman One (UWO): Wait, wait, this is OATMEAL Bill, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING ASSHOLE!
UMO: No, no wait, then it says “you know” like I really should KNOW, you know, and uh, uh I could see it was serious on this point here, and so I just responded “sure, sure I know exactly what you’re saying and I couldn’t agree more and, quite possible, have never agreed more about… (unintelligible after this point).
I’m just saying, there are no coincidences when it comes to certain people.
You post; I swoon. More, please.
Jeff, I prefer Quaker Oats. What’s wrong with me?
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Veraperez.com
http://www.families-forward.org