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Al-Qaeda Leader Needs Geometry Refresher [Dan Collins]

“There were almost 600 fighters in our sector before the tribes changed course 360 degrees . . . Many of our fighters quit and some of them joined the deserters . . . As a result of that the number of fighters dropped down to 20 or less.”

More from the same article:

Finally the emir recommended rewards for killing apostates, using doctors to kill infidels and offering gifts to tribal leaders. He said al-Qaeda’s fighters should be sent to more promising areas such as Diyala province or Baghdad — which is exactly what happened.

[emphasis mine]
And from a different one:

The acting director of a Baghdad psychiatric hospital has been arrested on suspicion of supplying al-Qaeda in Iraq with the mentally impaired women that it used to blow up two crowded animal markets in the city on February 1, killing about 100 people.

Iraqi security forces and US soldiers arrested the man at al-Rashad hospital in east Baghdad on Sunday. They then spent three hours searching his office and removing records. Sources told The Times that the two women bombers had been treated at the hospital in the past.

“They [the security forces] arrested the acting director, accusing him of working with al-Qaeda and recruiting mentally ill women and using them in suicide bombing operations,” a hospital official said.

Ibrahim Muhammad Agel, director of the hospital, was killed in the Mansour district of Baghdad on December 11 by gunmen on motorbikes. Colleagues said that he was shot for refusing to cooperate with al-Qaeda. Even before Sunday’s arrest, US officials believed that al-Qaeda was scouring Iraq’s hospitals for mentally impaired patients whom it could dupe into acting as suicide bombers. They said that al-Qaeda had used the mentally impaired as unwitting bombers before. “We have fairly good reason to believe this is not the first time they have recruited mentally handicapped individuals,” said one senior officer, though he did not think there had been more than half a dozen cases.

17 Replies to “Al-Qaeda Leader Needs Geometry Refresher [Dan Collins]”

  1. happyfeet says:

    I quit. I give up.

    Nothing’s good enough for anybody else

    it seems.

  2. B Moe says:

    “We have fairly good reason to believe this is not the first time they have recruited mentally handicapped individuals,”

    Recruit them? Hell, they are breeding them.

  3. JD says:

    If they change course by 360 degrees, don’t they just keep on heading the same fucking durection?

  4. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Of course they turned 360 degrees. It’s the only way to get their head up their ass.

  5. narciso says:

    They may have invented algebra, but their geometry is more than a little screwed up.

  6. Rusty says:

    JD. I’m sure he meant 359 degrees.

  7. Rick says:

    The acting director of a Baghdad psychiatric hospital has been arrested on suspicion of supplying al-Qaeda in Iraq with the mentally impaired women…

    That’s a setback for my theory that it was Moulitsas or Marcotte supplying their readership as bomb fodder. I mean, the mental impairment is there, after all. It’s no stretch.

    Cordially…

  8. Mal says:

    Arab math isn’t what it used to be.

  9. Merovign says:

    I hate to tell you this, they didn’t invent algebra, either. Al-Khwarizmi wasn’t an Arab, and he was just collecting previous work anyway, from the Greeks and Hindus.

    Though the 360 degrees thing, it was funny. It really, really was. In the kind of way when a serial killer flubs his practiced ritual speech and then he gets mad and just stabs and stabs and stabs…

    It is hard to laugh some days, though, when you think about using retarded women to blow up shoppers at the same time you’re trying to laugh at the idiots behind it.

  10. McGehee says:

    the tribes changed course 360 degrees

    Ah, those crazy dervishes.

  11. DarthRove says:

    Haven’t you stone-age Euclideans considered that in their culture, circles have 720 degrees???

    DEGREEIST!!!1!!111!

  12. BJTexs says:

    Ah, those crazy dervishes.

    Whirling, always whirling…

  13. Slartibartfast says:

    Doesn’t anyone speak radians anymore?

  14. JD says:

    Every time I hear the phrase whirling dervish, I cannot help but think of the Tazmanian Devil. Good stuff.

  15. BJTexs says:

    I would think the Tsmanian devil in a clown suit would be your worst nightmare, JD!

  16. BuddyPC says:

    Well, sounds like somebody needs a new biz plan, on top of the geometry lesson.
    Pick a winner. What can we say, sheik, if more people wanna wear Yankees caps than Expos.

    Ride the highway west, baby. Cue Doors music.

    The west is the best
    The west is the best
    Get here and we’ll do the rest

    The blue bus is calling us
    The blue bus is calling us
    Driver, where you taking us?

    The killer awoke before dawn
    He put his boots on
    He took a face from the ancient gallery
    And he walked on down the hall

    He went into the room where his sister lived
    And then he paid a visit to his brother
    And then he walked on down the hall
    And he came to a door
    And he looked inside
    Father?
    Yes son
    I want to kill you
    Mother, I want to………….

    Come on, baby, take a chance with us
    Come on, baby, take a chance with us
    Come on, baby, take a chance with us
    And meet me at the back of the blue bus

    This is the end, beautiful friend
    This is the end, my only friend
    The end

    It hurts to set you free
    But you’ll never follow me

    The end of laughter and soft lies
    The end of nights we tried to die

    This is the end

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