Hi, all. Been nursing a rib injury that seems to have culminated in some sort of lump in my back. According to my primary care physician, what I have is a fatty tumor that is coincidental with the back/rib cage injury from which I’ve been recuperating. But because the lump is directly atop the point where the rib cage injury feels centered (when I press on that area, I experience the kind of pain I was experiencing more broadly before I started treating the injury; and it is there I feel a nodule that sort of slides when pressured), I’m thinking that maybe what I have is a muscle sheath tear or some such.
So I’ll be heading to an orthopedic / sports medicine specialist on Thursday to see if I can’t pin this thing down. My primary care physician didn’t seem too worried — though the word “surgery” did come up — so I’m going to take a wait and see attitude. Mean time, I’ve missed a month of live sparring. It was during a BJJ class that I reaggravated the rib cage — an injury I first sustained while playing baseball in March.
So it looks like my professional MMA debut is on hold for a bit. Which is a blessing in disguise, really, because I don’t yet have a super cool nickname.
— Well, other than “the Sophist Slayer.” But that’s too presumptuous, I think — not to mention, totally inappropriate for a target audience that likes watching guys take knees and elbows to the sternum, or get painfully submitted by way of calf crank or Brabo choke.
So. Jeff “The Zionist Oppressor” Goldstein, maybe? “The Hegemonic Hitman”? “Bucky”…?
I dunno. You tell me.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/15 @ 2:00 pm #
The PHOBE!
Comment by Pablo on 1/15 @ 2:04 pm #
Aw, shit. I AM AN ANIMAL!!!
I’d get on all fours and go with “The Gallopping Heeb”
Comment by maggie katzen on 1/15 @ 2:10 pm #
oh, duh! Jeff “Solid” Goldstein! now dance, monkey! or get better soon, take your pick.
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 2:11 pm #
Maybe “The Hypermasculine Hitman” flies with the MMA demo.
Seriously, get well, and keep us updated as best you can.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 1/15 @ 2:16 pm #
Take care.
Comment by B Moe on 1/15 @ 2:17 pm #
“So it looks like my professional MMA debut is on hold for a bit.”
LOL. Caricature goes weenie-ballistic in 3… 2… 1…
So is your back hurt so bad you can’t type? What am I missing here? Shit boy, I scored 3 touchdowns in a playoff game once with three broke ribs and a sore on my dick! I want me some damn pontificatin’ and I want it now! This ain’t fucking rocket surgery!
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 2:20 pm #
BTW, no one is going to buy that “baseball injury.” Everyone is thinking it really involves a trapeze and an armadillo in Thailand.
Comment by Russ on 1/15 @ 2:23 pm #
After years of the media labelling their ideological foes “Neocon,” as a nickname it ought to scare the living crap out of pretty much everyone.
Best wishes for a rapid recovery.
Comment by Percy Dovetonsils on 1/15 @ 2:26 pm #
Are you sure you didn’t just injure yourself laughing at the Obama-Hillary tiff? Because, brother, my sides are absolutely splitting.
(Seriously, good to hear you’re still with us.)
Comment by McGehee on 1/15 @ 2:26 pm #
The Slapper
Comment by Carin on 1/15 @ 2:28 pm #
So is your back hurt so bad you can’t type? What am I missing here?
Unless, of course, the fatty lump in his back presses uncomfortably when he sits on a chair and types. If that is the case, I HAVE THE SOLUTION. A balance ball. PERFECT!
If not … nevermind. Perhaps you could teach your kid to type to your dictation? Just trying to think outside of the box like Dataless was suggesting.
Comment by kelly on 1/15 @ 2:30 pm #
Good to hear from you, Jeff. Speedy recovery.
I got nuthin’, namewise.
Comment by mojo on 1/15 @ 2:32 pm #
How ’bout Jeff “Armadillo Killa” Goldstein?
“Red Sea Pedestrian”?
“The Denver Destroyer”?
Comment by eLarson on 1/15 @ 2:33 pm #
I’m thinking that maybe what I have is a muscle sheath tear or some such.
I’m hurting now as I think about it.
Get well soon. (As possible.)
Oh, and go with “Zionist Oppressor.”
Comment by steveaz on 1/15 @ 2:36 pm #
Jeff, I miss you and I’m very sad to hear of your sport-induced injuries. I wish you a fast recovery, too.
But, please do not send me your medical bills. If you must then please take up a safer sport, like knitting.
Universal. Health. Care.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/15 @ 2:37 pm #
Evil knitting? Full-contact crocheting?
Comment by BumperStickerist on 1/15 @ 2:37 pm #
Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu?
Because of the Hip Lock, Gracie!
Comment by Carin on 1/15 @ 2:40 pm #
If we get Universal Health Care, then we’ll all have to take up knitting. Between the state mandating “acceptable activities” and the lines for treatment …
Comment by TaiChiWawa on 1/15 @ 2:40 pm #
Lance Lipoma
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 2:41 pm #
My puppy which was a border collie lab had a bunch of what they said were fatty tumors and we spent a fortune taking them out but they came right back. He was very lumpy to pet but in the end they were never really the problem it was more arthritis. I miss him.
Comment by Jeff G. on 1/15 @ 2:42 pm #
Watch out, Ghost of Andy Kaufman. I’m-a-coming.
My standup game consists of Muay Thai / Chute Boxe (Kaman, Roufus, the Rua bros,), and some Judo and wrestling takedowns (from traditional and Russian Judo and Sambo — been studying Karo Parisyan and Igor Yakimov, as well as Darrell Gholar’s takedowns and Mario Sperry’s Vale Tudo game). My striking is Muay Thai (elbows, low kicks, peeps), western boxing, Krav (elbows, punching, blocking-to-striking transition), and Pankrase heel kicks. I have a high kick, but it’s still quite telegraphed.
On the ground I use catch wrestling, Sambo, Ne-waza, and jiu jitsu (Brazilian and American). I’ve been studying the rubber guard and submissions from disadvantage. Eddie Bravo’s stuff is good, but I prefer Robert Drysdale and, for escapes, Saulo Ribeiro and Marcelo Garcia. For nhb I like Mario Sperry.
My wife, of course, thinks I’m nuts — from the 12′x12′ rolling mat in the basement to the stretching machine, wavemaster, 90 lb judo throwing dummy, and kettlebells. Thankfully, she’s something of a workout fiend herself: we’ve both added the new p90X+ to our workout regimen, and for my part, I tend to supplement that with 5 rounds of Bas Ruten’s Thai Boxing workout, then some extra stretching.
Still, because of the rib injury, I’ve avoided live sparring. So I’m worried about my cardio once the adrenaline kicks in.
Good thing I’ve signed on to fight in the 12-15 yr-old class. Junior High punks tend to shut up in a hurry when you’ve got them in a Russian heel lock.
Yeah. That’s what I thought you said.
Comment by maggie katzen on 1/15 @ 2:42 pm #
erotic (probably NSFW)
Comment by Big Dan on 1/15 @ 2:48 pm #
Neo-Cannibal!
And don’t worry about a telegraphing kick. It can be great fun to telegraph a flashy kick like that twice. Then you see the guy’s wheels turning. So next time, abort the high kick as he counters, and you go low. Smile as his knee crumples and his mouth goes “oooohhh”.!
Or just fight in the Jr High weight categories, that’s another winner of a strategy :)
Comment by alppuccino on 1/15 @ 2:50 pm #
Dibs on the Sambo jokes.
Comment by Jeff G. on 1/15 @ 2:51 pm #
Chicks dig highly conditioned shins.
Plus, I get to wear trunks. And ankle guards. Which make me look, like, totally bitchin’.
Comment by Jim in KC on 1/15 @ 2:53 pm #
I’m a fan of the Springfield 1911 myself, and sometimes the Kahr PM40. I have not much patience for rolling around on the ground any more.
Comment by Jeff G. on 1/15 @ 2:53 pm #
Sorry, alppuccino. I’ve got about 50 Black Russian jokes percolating in my head that are going to have to come out sometime.
BECAUSE OF THE NEED FOR SWEET SWEET RELEASE!
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 2:55 pm #
You had us at “My wife, of course, thinks I’m nuts.”
Comment by Jeff G. on 1/15 @ 2:55 pm #
I’ll be taking gun training through Krav, Jim. Mean time, I’ve been toying arounnd with filipino knife fighting, as well as the American strain — Bowie knives, etc.
Doing some stick fighting, as well, both single and double — and I have a pair of training nunchuks, mostly because I like to slap myself painfully in the thighs and the small of the back.
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 2:57 pm #
That is Little Joooooooooooooooooooooo Sambo, alpuccino.
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 3:04 pm #
When Jeff does return, it will be Protein Wisdom 2.0: Enter the Dragon.
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 3:05 pm #
Or Enter the ‘Dillo.
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 3:06 pm #
Dana White and Joe Rogan present – Return of the Cockslap
Comment by Carin on 1/15 @ 3:12 pm #
I’m starting to feel guilty about skipping my workout today.
Comment by Dario on 1/15 @ 3:25 pm #
Jeff,
You are what we call a “Buddha head”. If you’re more interested in the self defense aspects of Shaolin then United Studios of Self Defense (USSD) has a very good program in the greater Denver area. My wife is a “Sensei” down here in the Ranch. The whole area is run by Master Clark who’s a fifth Dan and frankly is very, very good. The northern dojos in Westminster, Broomfield and Boulder have a more hard core pack of Buddha heads. If you want more detail, email me. Then again, if you’re looking for MMA training then formal Karate isn’t it. If you want to defend yourself from a knife attack and incapacitate your attacker so you can run away then Shaolin Karate is more appropriate. Of course there’s conditioning, sparring etc… A typical black belt test will go anywhere from 6 1/2 to 8 hours so it’s no Yoga studio.
cheers.
Comment by BJTexs on 1/15 @ 3:33 pm #
Hey, JD’s back from watching the Colts telegraph roundhouse kicks to their own heads. That game was brutal beyond all measure. I feel for you, man.
Jeff, it’s not important whether or not your wife thinks you are nuts (most wives think their husbands are wack-a-doodles.) It’s only important if the guy in the bar laughing at your choice of scotch thinks your nuts.
Or .. if you sucker punch him. That works too.
Comment by mojo on 1/15 @ 3:47 pm #
#
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 3:04 pm #
When Jeff does return, it will be Protein Wisdom 2.0: Enter the Dragon.
#
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 3:05 pm #
Or Enter the ‘Dillo.
Watch it, pal. I’ve got a copyright on that film title, as well as the sequel, “Ten Toes of DEATH!”…
Comment by Jim in KC on 1/15 @ 3:52 pm #
It’s good to know how to use a knife. Most people don’t.
I need to get me a big old Bowie knife, or maybe a Ka-Bar–closest thing I have is way too small.
Comment by CraigC on 1/15 @ 3:54 pm #
“The Hammerin’ Hebe.”
Comment by Jeff G. on 1/15 @ 3:55 pm #
Dario –
I train in the Broomfield area — mostly at Colorado Krav Maga, which is one of 5 regional training centers. The classes are heavy into contact, given that Krav is a hand-to-hand combat system that trains from positions of disadvantage (for instance, we’ll be cardio-ed into the ground, then told to close our eyes until we’re attacked, at which point we need to defend ourselves, be it from a choke or a bear hug, etc.). It is big on gun/knife disarms, too — and I’m augmenting those techniques with defenses from Kali / Arnis / Eskrima. I’m also learning to knife and stick fight so that I can better understand how to defend against those kind of attacks.
But that’s just the self-defense aspect of my fight training — and you can’t really bite someone in the nuts, or tear out his eyes/rip off an ear, in a ring. So I also got into MMA and BJJ to complete my fight game. In a streetfight, I don’t want to be on the ground, on asphalt, trying for a kneebar — so the ground aspect of Krav Maga, correctly, tends to emphasize getting up quickly. Which is great for self-defense, but not so great against a seasoned ground fighter, at least in terms of training.
If I ever took karate or tkd, it would be solely to nail down the high kicking; the rest, though, has been covered by other disciplines. Right now, I’m trying master high kicking my own, with a little help from Thomas Kurz. As it stands, I’m happy with the Krav, judo, and Muay Thai defenses and strikes (Krav uses bits and pieces from judo, aikido, etc). I’m not one of those guys who wants to argue about which system is best, because frankly, I don’t care. I like the Krav/Sambo/Pancrase approach: take the best you find from all the arts and meld them together into your own defense system.
I’ll call mine “armadillo jiu jitsu” — which will heavily feature turtling up and waiting for my bitches to pay off my assailant.
Comment by SarahW on 1/15 @ 3:59 pm #
Ooh, fitness guilt, I am starting to have it, myself, Carin.
I think I’ll go kick the washing machine into surrender.
I’ve got nothing and McGehee wins, but my nothing is ” THE CONQUER MONKEY.”
Comment by mojo on 1/15 @ 4:01 pm #
Jeff – Re: Knife fights – It’s best to stay OUT of them. The most likely outcome is 1 dead, 1 maimed for life.
Comment by mojo on 1/15 @ 4:01 pm #
Second most likely: 2 dead.
Comment by Tman on 1/15 @ 4:05 pm #
Glad to hear your alive and (somewhat) well Jeff. The MMA craze is starting to catch on a little here in Nashville too- http://www.nashvillemma.com/
How about “The Yacht Rock Hammer”? “Literary Liquidator”?
I suspect “Huge Gay Porn Cock Of Lies” is already taken.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 1/15 @ 4:13 pm #
“The Hebrew Hammer” is already the name of a movie, so you might consider it taken.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 1/15 @ 4:13 pm #
…but great to hear you’re still alive, even if you’re alive and in semi-excruciating pain.
Comment by Dario on 1/15 @ 4:19 pm #
Jeff-
You’re in training for the Democratic Convention coming to town aren’t you?
Comment by Old Texas Turkey on 1/15 @ 4:21 pm #
own a gun. know how to use it, meaning stay far back enough to prevent being disarmed and fuckin pull the trigger when the guy starts moving at you.
Its the best melding of all disciplines
Comment by Jim in KC on 1/15 @ 4:21 pm #
Of course, there’s always shaving cream, if you’re not into all that violent stuff.
(Sorry, I caught the end of Spaceballs last night.)
Comment by daleyrocks on 1/15 @ 4:28 pm #
There’s always the Schwanstucker of Swat.
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 4:39 pm #
The best defense in a knife fight is a gun.
BJ – I finally quit puking this morning. Now it is just dry heaves. Beating yourself into submission is a shitty way to go out.
Comment by Rusty on 1/15 @ 4:52 pm #
I dunno, Jeff. My .45 has a mean high kick and leaves me with no bruised ribs. Nekkid spelunkin’? Well. That’s just askin fer trouble
Comment by Gabriel Fry on 1/15 @ 5:02 pm #
If that back thing doesn’t clear up, you could always go with “The Lucky Lump.”
You know, just in case you didn’t have a contingency plan for that.
More important even than the name, however, is the catch-phrase you utter just prior to or immediately following the administration of your finishing move. You’ll always be small-time if you don’t have one of those, no matter how well you fight. Something along the lines of “Parse this narrative, pansy” or “reductio ad Goldsteinem, bitch.” You’re the writer, you figure it out.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 5:07 pm #
I was reading about lipoma thingies. It said they’re working on a way to blast them with ultrasound instead of surgery. I just thought that was interesting.
Comment by alppuccino on 1/15 @ 5:12 pm #
Can you really effectively use a catch phrase prior to your finishing move if said finishing move has no mome de punch?
Maybes:
The Blogroller
The ALL CAPS ASS WHUPPIN’
The Exclamation Point (most likely a deadly Asian finger attack)
Comment by Squid on 1/15 @ 5:17 pm #
“BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRACY!”
*smack*
“Owwy.”
Comment by alppuccino on 1/15 @ 5:19 pm #
That should be “nome de punch” of course. Never mind. It’s like sharting in the airplane walkway. Too late.
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 5:42 pm #
Sharting anywhere is hysterical. In an airplane, downright rude. That is worse than sitting next to the fat sweaty dude that likes to talk.
Comment by Randy M on 1/15 @ 5:51 pm #
When you go into the ring, could you post the video? It would be awesome.
Comment by McGehee on 1/15 @ 6:07 pm #
I move to close nominations, and I’m voting for this one.
Comment by Jeff aka Alcyoneus on 1/15 @ 6:38 pm #
The Semiotic Slayer…no the Post-modern Puncher…uh uh…the Grammar Grappler…yes…the Grammar Grappler.
He’ll subordinate the competition.
Comment by psycho... on 1/15 @ 7:19 pm #
The Spastic Semicolon
Zionist Occupied Beefcake
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 7:42 pm #
Now that I reflect on it, going with “Zionist Oppressor” Goldstein would allow him to use PW to market “Z.O.G.” athletic wear.
Comment by Sean M. on 1/15 @ 7:47 pm #
How ’bout the Iron Lion of Zion? You could get dreads and everything.
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 7:56 pm #
Ooh, gotta say I like that one!
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 8:07 pm #
The Iron Lion of Zion. Good one.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 1/15 @ 8:29 pm #
Mmm, knives. I like the Trailmaster for a big, tough chopper. Check the knife shops for one of their discontinued Carbon V steel models, one of the best knives ever made for my $$.
Get well! Come back!!
Comment by Jeff aka Alcyoneus on 1/15 @ 8:49 pm #
I vote for “Iron Lion of Zion.”
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:18 pm #
So, you were lowering “Tiny, the 200 Kg Udorn Wonder” onto “The Armadillo” when the rope broke, and hence all the “Down” time.
Gotcha. Been there, (almost) done that.
Thailand’s a great place to escape from.
Lay off the stress for a bit, get health, and please come back as well as ever. You are missed.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:20 pm #
Oh, and you’re obviously “The Megillah Armadilla”. Case closed.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:21 pm #
Never have the (un)kosher been so close.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 9:23 pm #
I don’t have a funny name I just want everything back to normal. There’s just so much that doesn’t make sense and this whole thinking for myself thing was challenging at first but I’m pretty sure I’ve maxed out.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:26 pm #
Hello, happyfeet. How are you.
Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost on 1/15 @ 9:31 pm #
Gorgeous Goldberg, the Denatured Boy?
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:37 pm #
Maybe “Un-natured”.
I like where you’re going. Though, maybe best not mess with “Ric Flair, Nature Boy”. You tell me.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 9:38 pm #
Hi. Things are mostly ok except I have a lot to do but have a business trip most of next week so I’m procrastinating stuff for when I get back. Also I need to lift the heavy things since I’m doing the vegetable soup thing and if I don’t that will be bad cause of the way muscle gets metabolized or something but it’s like I don’t have a lot of energy. Two people have told me I need to add lots of cayenne pepper to the soup and that will help but that sounds like voodoo if you ask me. How’s all with you?
Comment by Major John on 1/15 @ 9:49 pm #
I am really tired (too much of that training to advise Iraqis and how to oppress them and steal their oil)….so, I will forego any names and split my vote between the “Red Sea Pedestrian” and “Iron Lion of Zion”.
Jeff, sounds like you have my mix of bar bouncing, rugby dirty tricks, Army Modern Combatives and small arms beat.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:54 pm #
Emm. Well, I’m sucking down loads of good Chardonnay (’suis pas Francais, mais j’aime du vin, tu sais. Si je peut dire “tu”.) I got an offer from a local telecom company to un-f*ck their software for twice current pay. Took it. Procrastinating too. Over nature. Need to unleaf lawn.
Hey! Maybe Jeff needs to do a social networking thing. For us. For him.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 9:56 pm #
I think it’s admirable how you are thriving in a collapsing economy. And also you speak French.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:56 pm #
“Iron Lion of Zion”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baby! Cover me in honey and yogurt, and have the virgins lick it off.
*That* is the name!
FOR TEH ALLITERATION!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 9:57 pm #
i think that’s more assonance but I like it too
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 9:59 pm #
Dear happyfeet: I’m good at what I do. And, as a software developer, I’ve been awaiting the return of f*cked-up outsourced-to-India-in-a-haste-and-damn-the-consequences projects, lo these many years.
Act in haste, repent at leisure, etc.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 10:02 pm #
Oooh. The ASS-onance.
(Hey! The armadilla needs feeding!)
Comment by Darleen on 1/15 @ 10:04 pm #
Geez, I’m not only late to the party, but like maggie and Sarah, I’m now experiencing extra helpings of gym guilt.
I’m not going to even try to come up with a name…. “Iron Lion of Zion” has my vote!
(get better soon, boss. you are missed)
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 10:05 pm #
That’s a good point. We go to the extreme where the software guys are on messenger and have to answer the phone too if you call. They hate that, but we’re so much better for it.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 10:14 pm #
Sacre bleu, zese ‘undred grams of wine are, ‘ow you say, “gunning my pecs”, or “lats”, or n’importe quoi.
Eh bien, an autre hamster, an autre verre d’Elderberry.
By the way, I have discovered an elegant proof that “P == NP” but there’s no room in the margin to note it down.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 10:17 pm #
more voodoo, ask me
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 10:18 pm #
OK. Ask me.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 10:19 pm #
I just mean wine doesn’t really do that. You have to lift the heavy things.
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 10:31 pm #
Ah, indeed. Text. Lossy medium.
—–
I want to see Matisyahu do the “Ir-on Li-on of Zi-on”.
(Fist descends from above with the force of a Li-on
Smiting those to be smote with the Ir-on of Mount Zi-on)
(Apologies offered.)
Comment by Patrick Carroll on 1/15 @ 10:33 pm #
BTW: Not that Indians are stupid. Mostly that projects are not well specified, and there’s a lot of inexperience on the other side of the IDL.
Comment by happyfeet on 1/15 @ 10:53 pm #
Ah, indeed. Text. Lossy medium.
I’m so stealing that. Also I like Indians. They’re the future. We should invite them over for drinks.
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 10:54 pm #
Drinks, yes. And, curry. Don’t forget the curry. lol
Comment by daleyrocks on 1/15 @ 11:27 pm #
You gotta have cheerleaders too. The Solid Goldstein Dancers.
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 11:52 pm #
Matisyahu. Nice.
Comment by Karl on 1/15 @ 11:53 pm #
And I’m totally cool with inviting the Indians, as long as you don’t invite the crying one.
Oh, wait…
Comment by JD on 1/15 @ 11:55 pm #
But make sure you invite the one from the cigar store, but not the offensive Chief Illiniwek one. Bastards.
Comment by Sean M. on 1/16 @ 4:47 am #
I’m glad so many of you liked the “Iron Lion of Zion” moniker, but Jeff might have to pay the Marley estate to use that, and I hear Ziggy’s got some good lawyers.
Comment by serr8d on 1/16 @ 7:52 am #
Late, as usual; Jeff, zap that fatty lump for it’s temerity!
Eastern-influenced fighting techniques, and sophist wordplay? The Haiku Hammer?
Comment by McGehee on 1/16 @ 7:53 am #
So can we declare “Red Sea Pedestrian,” with one and a half votes, to be the runner-up?
Comment by Jonathan on 1/16 @ 8:11 am #
Wait, don’t close the voting! Jeff “the Nuclear Neocon” Goldstein! See, it’s got the whole “evil neocon” = “jew” thing going! Why are you still closing the voting…
Comment by Pablo on 1/16 @ 8:13 am #
I’d have the Indians bring the curry. Make mine beef!
Comment by Reno on 1/16 @ 10:02 am #
I kinda like “The Moses of Proses”. Then when you put your signature MMA move on someone, you can yell out, “Haiku!”
Just a thought….
Comment by MarkD on 1/16 @ 10:58 am #
That lump might mean you’re turning into a camel. The dillo has been out of sight for a long time (kind of like somebody else, cough cough) and who knows what he’s gotten into?
Comment by Gabriel Fry on 1/16 @ 12:23 pm #
Oooh! The move could be “The Dromedary Drop” or “The Hump-a-Rump Dump.”
2 girls, 1 supplex?
Inappropriate.
Comment by Rick on 1/16 @ 2:22 pm #
“…what I have is a fatty tumor.”
If it’s pungent and a mild annoyance, that’s called a “Caric.”
Cordially…
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