December 6, 2007
Offended Muslim Syndrome [Dan Collins]

at The People’s Cube:

Following the misery inflicted on Islam by a toy bear that ended up with calls for the execution of an English woman, more Muslims are stepping forward with stories of long-suppressed emotional trauma imposed on them by so-called reality. This has led to the creation of support groups and social networks that help followers of the Prophet Mohammed cope with the agony of learning about life outside of their immediate environment, offering assistance with technical resources, practical guidance, and strategies for early intervention and punishment of those who offend Islam.  

h/t Cranky @ Six Meat Buffet 

35 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by JD on 12/6 @ 12:34 pm #

    Fucking cocksuckers. I told my better half that I am changing my unit’s nickname from “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” to “Mohammed”. Let ‘em come after me. Please.

  2. Comment by Dan Collins on 12/6 @ 12:36 pm #

    Does your unit have any say in the matter, JD? And how many better halves do you have?

  3. Comment by BJTexs on 12/6 @ 12:47 pm #

    JD: Are you sure? It may affect unit cohesion.

    DON’T ASK! DON’T TELL!

  4. Comment by JD on 12/6 @ 12:56 pm #

    Unit cohesion? Are they going to cum after me with a rusty scimtar? Bring it on, Osama Mahmood Imanutjob. Me and my Mohammed await you, fucking cocksuckers.

  5. Comment by PCachu on 12/6 @ 1:32 pm #

    Personally, I kind of wish the first paragraph of that little fake-news item sounded a bit more implausible. Sadly, it fails to trigger any need for suspension of disbelief.

    Fortunately, they included that picture of Islamic Rage Boy. You crack me up, little buddy.

  6. Comment by JD on 12/6 @ 1:33 pm #

    That was fake?

  7. Comment by JD on 12/6 @ 1:34 pm #

    Whatever, I am still re-naming my dick Mohammed.

  8. Comment by LiveFromFortLivingRoom on 12/6 @ 3:25 pm #

    Does this mean I can go into a rage infused killing spree because I actually paid to go see “Norbit” and it offended me?

  9. Comment by Jeffersonian on 12/6 @ 4:31 pm #

    I love TPC.

  10. Comment by The Lost Dog on 12/6 @ 5:49 pm #

    Some days, i am offended just by waking up in the morning.

    So I take a stroll to the mall and institute instant Sharia. I really hate those little peckers that have moved beyond the seventh century.

  11. Comment by JD on 12/6 @ 6:17 pm #

    TLD – I declared Sharia martial law when I entered my home this evening. My better half asked me what in the hell I was babbling about, and my daughter kicked me in the shin. I guess I am going to have to break out the rusty scimtar tomorrow.

  12. Comment by Jeffersonian on 12/6 @ 8:32 pm #

    Cuz there isn’t anything better then sawing off their heads to show how great God is, JD.

  13. Comment by JD on 12/6 @ 8:37 pm #

    They would just laugh at me. I am kind of like one of those worker bees in a beehive. Work your ass off. Slave away for the women. Die early.

  14. Comment by Patrick Carroll on 12/7 @ 9:45 am #

    If I buy a Teddy bear for $5, call it Mohammed, and sell it for $10, have I made a prophet?

  15. Comment by Red Square on 12/7 @ 1:16 pm #

    Patrick Carroll: If I buy a Teddy bear for $5, call it Mohammed, and sell it for $10, have I made a prophet?

    This is an excellent joke! Can I use it in the headlines on the People’s Cube (on whose article you were commenting?)

    Red Square

  16. Comment by The Lost Dog on 12/7 @ 4:03 pm #

    JD -

    “Work your ass off. Slave away for the women. Die early.”

    How long have you been married (assuming)? You forgot the part about the headache.

  17. Comment by Good Lt. on 12/8 @ 12:03 am #

    People’s Cube pwns.

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