online, and [redacted; not to be bruited far and wide on the intartubes!] this is what I found. She was a lot of fun, and a very nice girl in a polymorphously perverse way, and I’m sorry for her troubles. I hope she’s all right, and if she’s staying away from drinking whole bottles of sweet vermouth straight up, I’m sure that’s a good start.
But I’m serious about my well-wishes, and if any of you are interested in an intelligent, stacked, generous, complex bisexual woman for friendship or more, I recommend that you look her up.
****
update: I haven’t been able to reach Dan by email to find out if this is really an ex of his. So in the meantime, here’s my response.
See? Turning forty is hard.
I guess I’m just glad my name isn’t Lori Drew.
I do like that pale skin gal of yours, though.
Celia? Yeah, she’s great. I turned her down, though, because I kind of liked her loser boyfriend.
In a Viking way.
You covered her in lutefisk? As a Scandi, I approve.
Please … tell me you’re not pimping, Dan.
Errrmm…Are you sure you doing her some sort of favor here, Dan? Sending a flood of Proteins cold-calling her way? Not that I’m saying she’d have to kiss many frogs to find a swell prince (or princess) among us, but…
Dan – You kill me. I found this post to be outrageously funny. I cannot quit chuckling. Not like rolling around on the floor laughing, just unable to quit chuckling. Good stuff.
Who can turn a pyschiatrist down after you’ve been drinking on payday and the lights are off? Sorry Dan, but she did not scream your name.
She’s not my hero though.
Jesus, Dan, I hope she’s not really your ex, and this is just a, um, how you say, satire. Cuz that’s brutal, dude.
I am still chuckling.
SHIT!!!!
Why couldn’t she have been MY shrink? At my age, we take what we can get. Even if it is a looney toon.
G*d, how I love the new millenium!
Vermouth is not for drinking. It’s for pouring down the drain in the general vicinity of a glass of gin. You know, for aroma.
Like Hawkeye Pierce said, the driest martini is a glass of straight gin, drunk down while contemplating a picture of Antonio Benedetto Carpano, the inventor of vermouth.
Good thing I don’t drink, huh?
Ex-girlfriend from grad school, to be more specific.
Wow, Dan.
At least I feel better about my situation.
Classy.
Is there some kind of problem with the truth, andy?
You apparently think I’m out to pwn her. I’m not. I’m signalling that as unethical as what she did may have been, I’m just rolling my eyes and don’t feel compelled to judge her.
Why can I never find a therapist like this ? Why do all of the good therapists practice somewhere other than where I am?
Pictures, Danno.
And, andy is an idiot.
And, Kyoto.
Sorry, I couldn’t have kept any pictures of her around. My wife wouldn’t have liked that.
She looks a bit like Frances the badger, though, in a good way.
That is truly scary, and a little bit disturbing. Did she braid her armpit hair?
How does one look like a badger, in a good way? All I can picture is the U-Dub mascot, Bucky.
Drunk, bi-sexual psycho’s sound like the women I used to date, prior to meeting my better half.
You’re a hellavu guy.
Dan – If one is judged by the nature of those that stand in opposition to you, having salvage against you is high praise, indeed.
‘Cuz he is a real douchenozzle.
Uh, if this really is an ex or yours, Dan, this post is really over the line. I’m sure those looking for a therapist do their due dilligence before hiring one. Pointing out the travails of your ex here on a site that sometimes gets several thousand hits a day seems a bit meanspirited. I mean, it’s not like she’s been here talking smack, is it?
I’m going to add an update here noting that I don’t condone posts like this. Even when they make JD chuckle.
I guess I just don’t get the giggle.
Well, if he’s going to do it, it’d be hard to do it any more nicely than he did.
Rather than write an update, let me just say this here: I’m not sure if this is actually one of Dan’s exs; but if it is, I don’t find this post appropriate. This site was not designed as a myspace page to trash ex girlfriends. I’m just now reading it — and 29 comments in, I don’t feel like I can pull it. But please note that I’m not particularly thrilled that my site is being used to heap additional scorn on someone who it looks like has already been duly punished, and who has no prior history of engagement here.
It’s one thing to threaten to thwack a guy across his face with your meatstick when he’s writing about your breast feeding habits with respect to your son. It’s another thing entirely to randomly ambush someone you dated in grad school…well, just because Google exists.
To be clear, I don’t think I would have objected to this post had there been no link. That way, it would have been quite possible that the whole thing was tongue in cheek. But if this is indeed a real ex of Dan’s, well — pretty messed up, I think.
If it’s not Dan’s ex, and it’s just some Dr. Well. Then that makes it pretty goddamned funny.
Go on. BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!
A lot of class there Danny boy
Wow, worthy of a KosKid or DUmmy.
Sung to the tune of ‘One Less Bell to Answer’
One less blog to read now
One less grudge to flay…..
Sweet!
Watch them fleeeeeee!
Siegfried smacks Shtarker.
Well-handled Jeff.
I didn’t know what was going on here. Dan and JD act like this page is their personal, inside joke, blog sometimes and I didn’t want to look foolish or humor impaired if this was all some sort of put on designed to flush out the grim scolds that can’t take a joke. If this was intended to be taken at face value its simpy low class and not very funny. At all.
/scold
Huh. Well, first of all, I know this person much better than you do, and she knows something about me, as well, Second, the reason she went to medical school in the first place was through my urging. Third, I know her well enough to know that she will interpret this as the psychological hand up that I intend for it to be. Fourth, if you think that I would post something like this just to intensify someone’s humiliation, you don’t know me at all. Fifth, the fact of airing this is liable to give Sahlu some sense of how little I think this is important to my conception of who she is, and because that is so, and because I’ve been honest in a way that was liable to bring criticism upon me, I am hoping that it gives her some breathing space in the great wide world, because I know that she is not at all as brazen as she would like to seem.
Dude, that’s pretty fucked up. Just admit that PW isn’t the place to air your rancid laundry and move on.
Terrific. But you used my site to do it. Perhaps you could have shown me the same courtesy you are now showing her, and taken into account how I might react to a post like this, which is already proving very off-putting to some readers.
You don’t know what fucked up is, dude. Fucked up is pretending that things didn’t happen. If she wants to come online and explain how twisted I am, that’s her prerogative. If Jeff doesn’t want me posting anything like this on PW, that’s fine. But if you don’t believe that I opened myself up to this for her benefit, then go blow yourself.
“Is there some kind of problem with the truth, andy?”
Blogging the truth about an ex? no problem at all.
Fine then. I miscalculated.
Your considerate stone.
But, yeah, I do consider her well-being more important than this.
I’m sorry to have defiled your house, Jeff.
Bite me, andy.
Yeah well Vince Vaughn is fat.
Oh. And also Dan has a point that he knows her and we don’t and so while maybe it was not a PW seal-of-approval-worthy kind of post there’s no real fact set here that supports a lot of getting just too judgey about it. Also it’s Friday, and Jeff is back posting regular. Life hasn’t been this good in awhile.
Oh, and that guy’s Instaputz? He wants me to cop to inappropriate blogiture? Fuck you, asshole.
What was that about not turning this site into Myspace?
Don’t be tedious. You’re better than that.
Right, we wouldn’t want to stick our neck out for any particular person. That would be wrong.
my 49 was at 48. I like everybody except for that one guy who made that picture of me as being like Pat from SNL. That was mean for real.
“This site was not designed as a…”
I don’t like this premise. Not one bit. I just do not like it, and I won’t tell you why.
Let’s all synergize folks, instead of tearing each other apart, James Dean style.
I like dogs. I’ve never met “Sprite,” but you can bet your ass I’ll remember that son of a bitch for the rest of my life, real soon.
Dogs are my favorite.
Dan: I don’t comment here much anymore because I’m tired of being labeled as the town drunk that stumbled into the righty rec room. But you apparently posted this woman’s now irrelevant sanction information as some kind of gesture. I admire your sentiment but deplore your execution.
You are missed, cynn. I don’t think you’re a drunk. I think you’re neat. You’re like the neighbor on the tv that comes in through the kitchen door while everyone is in there so that everyone watching can have exposition without it sounding all fakey.
Why, Dan, expose this person? It confused me when I saw it. What possible good can it do? I thought it was an offhand, ironic joke. It seens not. Why publicly slam this person???
see?
Alas, cynn, this person has been exposed in her circles already. What do you suppose I’m doing to her? You think that cringing is going to solve her problems?
I’m involved in anti-cult activity, so figured Dan was just talking about some ex-scientologist. Like I’m supposed to divine what an “ex” is right off the bat?
My balls hurt. I hope that’s some consolation Dan. You’re alright, Dan. But for me, I don’t care to know about your ex-girlfriends. I don’t care about my own ex-girlfriends. Blast me with links to cool and interesting news and I’m yours (in a non cock sucking kind of way) though. But, that could be just the Jinxs talking.
Thanks, OI. Can’t relate? That’s one thing.
Can’t wait for the lawsuit.
The fact it’ll shut you pricks down will just be the gravy.
Really, Dave? Despite the fact that it was already posted on the intarwebs? Please explain to me the legal doctrine, shitforbrains.
On a lighter note, there’s a conspiracy theory concerning Kurt Cobain’s death. There are, apparently, degrees of “ex-ness.”
Classy.
I had a roommate in grad school who was going through a divorce, so saw a psychiatrist retained by the school. He and the psychiatrist launched a sexual relationship that went beyond the “affair” stage. Just recounting that makes me cringe. But someone who faced the music for such behavior probably grew up a lot farther and faster than my roommate’s “girlfriend.”
Wow. You know, I have been reading this site off and on for months, always impressed with the generally high tone and thoughtfulness (or at least lack of idiocy-iness) of the posts and posters. Now, I see this really weird post and I come in and look at the comments, and the level of discourse seems to be on the level of “Oh yeah! Well so’s yours, shitforbrains!” Sheesh. In one fell swoop, this place begins to sound like a junior high school locker room. How appealing.
David
Well, if it were a female junior high school locker room, and all the girls had failed 4 grades…
Sorry. Just looking at the glass half full…
Incidentally, my web access went kablooey for a while, then I had to go get beat up at krav class and, again, at fight class.
But I’m back now. For the record, I’m not particularly angry. I just think the post belonged elsewhere, or could have been handled in a more obvious manner. There are more than a few readers here who don’t comment, and — though I’m not one to try to force this site into any particular niche (well, that’s a lie: I force it into the “sites that don’t look like they have a niche” niche) — I still think there are certain posts that don’t work well. And because this post only worked as a two-way between Dan and the linked doctor (if we accept Dan’s explanation, which I’ll happily do, given that I haven’t met the woman in question and don’t know squat about their relationship), it wasn’t really appropriate for a site that traffics in content that appeals to a wider audience, or at least as an inside gag among the regulars.
Now, had I put up the post, yeah. It would have worked beautifully. But I’m just gifted that way, you see ;-)
Thanks a lot. Now you have me thinking about girls in locker rooms. And my wife is in San Francisco. Nice work, shitforbrains.
David
I think Caged Heat is on FMC later this evening.
Problem solved, David.
Any woman who would date an assclown like Dan Collins needs a good shrink.
Clearly that’s the core of the issue here. Usually I figure y’all are good for at least a couple of spare furries, Janitor In A Drum, and a set of golf clubs thrown into the mix or something.
But not much more than that, or we’re on Ace’s turf.
Say, is “Dan Collins” really “Gabriel Malor”?
Third, I know her well enough to know that she will interpret this as the psychological hand up that I intend for it to be.
The probation ended more than 2 years ago and you’re just now finding out about the suspension, I think that says everything there is to say about how well you know her. Just because she used to play fucked up mindgames with you doesn’t mean she would appreciate it now that you are long in her past.
Dan, you come across as very vengeful and immature. There really is no excuse for this. She is not a public personality. The only possible good effect of a post like this is that if another woman who might have dated you sees it, she’ll have fair warning to run the other way. Perhaps employers will also be aware that you are the kind of person who would be liable to trash them if you don’t get your way. Your ex may have her problems, but you are a bitter, classless, ungentlemanly ass.
Oh, and it’s completely obvious that SHE’s the one who dumped YOU, loser.
Sorry, Sheila. Wrong.
Fucked up mindgames, huh? What’s so fucked up about telling the truth about someone? How does it constitute a mind game? I intended it to say as much about me as her. Obviously, it does. But I’m not going to permit you to control the interpretation of my gesture, because you will not be fair. What would I find if I were to google Shalimar+Jeff Goldstein or K. Ron Silkwood+Jeff Goldstein?
Sorry, Sheila, but I wasn’t that guy. Keep talking to your pillow, though, and it will all work out.
If I were a lefty memoirist, it would be brave, wouldn’t it? I am perfecting my contempt for your imputations. Give us a link to your writings, Sheila, so I can find out how ladylike they are.
Good stuff.
Yeah well Vince Vaughn can always lose weight, but Shalimar will always just be the band Jody Watley ditched.
Nuance
Lol, an 8 year old suspension that you just found out about sure shows that you know this woman very well.
I’m not at all interested in Fred Thompson’s dick, for the record. I do notice, however, that lefties like Shalimar who have seized on my “cock slapping” response to Kevin K (which was context specific) tend to use it — and me — almost as a beard to talk about the dick. Constantly. In every context. And at every opportunity.
Convenient for them, I guess — and I really don’t mind, being a giver and all.
There’s a psychiatric term for their behavior, most likely. Maybe the ex Dan addressed this post to can help us out with the technical terms? Provided she’s not on the sauce, I mean.
Perhaps they are Dickaphobes?
How old are you, Dan? How far behind you are your exes? How in-touch with all the important people in your life are you? Is it because they ceased to exist when you lost touch?
You callow, self-satisfied cretins make me puke.
What would a day be like without getting personal and being redundant? It wouldn’t be just another day, or would it?
When you need a hero, there’s Dan Collins willing and able. Dan, the man, Dan, the man, Dan, the man!
You could say I’m a fan.
Still classy.
So are all the places you hang out at, K.Ron. I’d say you were slumming, coming here, but I’ve got photos of you at all the whorehouse dives on the West Side.
Oh my, looks like someone is projecting a wee too much animas on my hero-Dan. No worries Danny, some women judge passion and chivalry by the number of times a man can pump it into ’em on a single night. The smart money says you have more class than to ape cadavers. Sure it pisses off certain of these ladies, but you’re still my hero. Strumpets be damned.
Thanks, Thor. I don’t mind strumpets. I daresay Sahlu is one. It’s the preening, self-righteous, retroverted moralists who offpiss me.
Oh yes, how they preen. In their candied fantasia they believe their honey pots are sealed with sugar. For their own protection they should know that when Dan Collins is compared alongside full-grown unicorns he’s still terrifyingly well-hung!
Thanks not necessary. That they scatter when you’re upwind is enough. :)
Because privately slamming her is as much fun as breeding fish.
Hi, I’m thor, can I buy you a drink?
I’m sorry, but can anyone demonstrate to me where I slammed this person? Did I Swiftboat her, or something?
“Please explain to me the legal doctrine, shitforbrains.”
There are privacy torts. And sometimes intentional infliction of emotional distress. I don’t think they apply here. But they do cover making true statements about people, since you seem to take that as a sticking point. Just so you know in case you want to rely on that in the future.
Wow! Mr. Collins, you sir are indeed a ripe old jackass. And your “explanation” makes not one iota of sense. Indeed, it just adds some foolish to the already small.
And then you call a reader who was probably raised in a healthier environment than yourself (this tends to determine our notions of “civilized”), you call that reader a “callow, self-satisfied cretin” that makes you want to puke? Really?
And Mr. Goldstein, I can appreciate your position, but ultimately this reflects on you. You should do the right thing. And shut post this down.
Geez… What has happened to us?
Oh geez. Ohnoes. It’s awful. So terribly bad awful. I will go to my preening liberal blog and what I will do is make a post that links to the original awful post that hurt that poor woman so. That poor humiliated woman. Everyone, look!
Extraordinarily classy. Sensitive too.
Oh. Which would be what Dan’s new post says. I just saw that, but what I don’t get is K. Ron Silkwood’s obsession with Alyssa Milano’s nipples. Dude, that’s at best borderline creepy.
When I saw this yesterday morning I didn’t know what to do with it. It seeming to be an unfortunate choice of means of communication is all I got.
And yeah, the indignation is tedious. Much worse than the original post. Not that the o.p. was bad — it just has no value to me. Like celery.
Regarding # 93 “Geez…what happened to us?”
A classic tale told since the beginning of time. A woman. Two friends and their allies turned one against the other.
Destruction ensues.
Leaving her blameless.
Through all that time and distance, she’s pulled it off.
She’s good.
Celery lowers blood pressure. I read that once at Jamba Juice.
I don’t know. When did we decide that other people’s motives were inevitably bad, if their views don’t match our own?
Why do you feel that she ought to be ashamed more than I do?
Dan, with a few keystrokes you’ve wounded more animals than Michael Vick.
Banner day.
Dan, that was completely inappropriate and you’ve damaged the reputation of this blog. Way to go, doofus, now you’ve made PW look like Daily Kos.
Thanks for your opinion, Dante. I am sorry to have offended you.
So Dan, be honest, you were drunk when you posted this, right? Tell us the truth.
No need for that. He’s Canadian, Dan. Full payback for Alanis Morrisett’s existence is far from complete.
Dan on Tbogg’s blog: “How have I disparaged her, please? I’ll wait.”
Before you launch into your “compliments” – calling her polymorphously perverse and insinuating that she’s an alcoholic – you reveal her identity (linking to a web site that shows her to be somewhat of a loser, professionally) and then recommend her as a good time. Bonus: “she’s stacked.”
There isn’t a woman alive who would find that caring.
No wonder she drank the vermouth straight up with you, Dan.
Haha,
What a sewer PW has become.
Dan has done to PW what Lt. Bush has done to the Conservatives.
“Dan, that was completely inappropriate and you’ve damaged the reputation of this blog. Way to go, doofus, now you’ve made PW look like Daily Kos.”
No, more like your buddies on LGF or FreeRepublic. Daily Kos would have pulled that down the second they saw it.
Nice to see the adults on the right playing nice!
If I may quote Mister Collins:
“She was a lot of fun”
“a very nice girl”
“I’m sorry for her troubles”
“hope she’s all right”
“I’m serious about my well-wishes”
“intelligent”
“generous”
Insinuating that she is a perverted lush with big tits who kisses waffles only ups the level of her appeal, certainly. What more could Dan possibly add to dolly up the lass, that she’s double-jointed at the hips? If Dan was more generous with lavish compliments toward his ex there’d be fireballs exploding and the earth would shake. And Dan’s way protective of the earth, and puppies, and wildflowers, as well as all that is good.
Did Skinner train sewer rats to differentiate between past and present? Hmm.
alphie, that’s not like you to be so judgmental. That’s just mean what you said, and, between me and you, I think your added weight actually kind of diminishes whatever affect any criticism of Dan’s post might have, cause it seems so insincere.
I don’t understand the condition…
Dan, PJ O’Rourke you are not. Sometimes I get the impression you are writing to voices only you can hear. I have no idea what your intentions in posting this were, but it is neither funny nor praiseworthy. I suppose cutting edge humor has its occupational hazards, like dropping all the sharp objects you are juggling and needing stitches.
I always feel better after I
condemn someone for blogging something I don’t getmasturbate furiously.Incidentally, my quip about her being on the sauce? That was a gentle jibe at Dan, not the lady doc in question.
I think he’ll take it in the spirit it was intended — which was something like, “this whole thing should be wrapping up about now, so don’t let the continued scoldings get you down. You made a mistake (at least in terms of audience); it’s done with, as far as I’m concerned; time to laugh again at hypothetical drunks.”
What I do not understand is how Dan can expect anyone to trust him knowing that on a whim he is willing to betray their confidence.
That’s what trust is.
“I still think there are certain posts that don’t work well.”
Yeah, I bet you do indeed.
I, on the other hand, still think THAT there are certain posts (or comments aiw) that don’t work well.
If “aiw” didn’t mean “as it were” before, it sure as shit does now.
Let’s go ahead and start us (you) an idiom.
As the crowd of dull wankers tried to bull-rush Danny, the rainbow-like arch of his repellent stream made the wanker’s eyes tear from the salty burn.
If it’s possible, Dan Collins is more man today than yesterday.
WTG DC.
Now, Mr. G., if you do start this idiom, aiw, then by God I hope, unlike Mick Jaeger’s experience, it does stop.
Well, I went down to Tbogg’s, and I spoke to a lot of civil, decent people, who want nothing better than harmonious cohabitation of the blogosphere. And them folks, who’s really salt of the earth oncet ya gets to know ’em, they brought up the point that perhaps there might be some kinda unscrupulous characters on the blogosphere, who might approach the guiltless young woman as what’s in question.
Now, that hadn’t occurred to me, that this information might get bandied around hither and yon, or that the information about sexual orientation, not in itself a shameful thing, when combined with other sorts of info, be it ever so truthful, might constitute an unholy matrimony, as it were, of character traits such as to tempt online rakes and rapscallions.
I tried to get my learned interlocutors to promise that, seein’ the danger an’ all, they migh likewise expunge any reference to the woman in question, but I could not tarry for an answer. And so, I am ceremoniously and with admission of my personal terribility, removing said link. And if I may say so, I wish said woman, whatever her sexual orientation may be, the best of luck.
Still, it was fun.
Yeah. Good times. Gods, those people take themselves seriously.
ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa
I clearly have no soul, as this made me chuckle. Clearly, Dan was inciting people to try to take advantage of her.
Dan expressed his intentions, but apparently, it is more fun to attribute intentions to him. I trust and believe Dan, as he has shown consistent good intentions over time.
FWIW – methinks there have been many Moby’s around these here parts.
And, those perpetually outraged, disingenuous twatwaffles that are attributing intention to Dan, despite his expressed intention, I fart in your general direction.
There is plenty of room to question whether or not this was appropriate, but just making up intentions where they do not exist chaps my ass.
If I’m correct, wasn’t the last person Thor defended named “Michael Vick”? First, Vick and now Collins. Thor protects all asses by out-doing them. Way top defend pariahs by being even more unbelievably offensive!
By the way, where did JD go?
Right on cue, JD, first your idol criticized [obliquely] your hero? Did you have a few hours of rocking silently in the corner, trying to process that dissonance? Hegel posited “thesis, antithesis, synthesis.” Sometimes it takes a minute. Way to come back strong!!!!!!!!
When HPennypacker says that, what he really means is that he wishes that horrid person would be raped, so he could blame it on wingers.
I don’t care what he said.
Frisbee golf is a pothead sport I think. It’s not even really a sport.
When HPennypacker says that, what he really means is that he wishes that horrid person would be raped, so he could blame it on wingers.
You’re a bit of a nutcase, aren’t you.
It was just something to dignify getting stoned and going to the park with a frisbee, probably cause you couldn’t afford a movie cause you had spent all your money on pot.
Yeah, Ted. Which is why I leave all the interpretation up to people like you, who have my best interests at heart. Swipe.
Wasn’t hennypecker one of those names that timmah used?
You pull a group Ghandi assault on Dan-the-man, the guy who delivers mountains of humor and snark through rain, sleet and snow, and you expect me to sit idly by? I’ll eat a baby bulldog before I let a bunch of ingrates knock Dan off his swagger. Bottom line – Dan’s post was effen funny, twas nothing more than re-posting public information with a sniff of his fingers for sake of relevance. The added humor of faux-outrage made the hilarity complete.
I was going to feed a live gerbil to my pet iguana everyday Michael Vick is incarcerated. Now it’ll be two gerbils a day dropping into the jaws of the beast.
All of this dudgeon by someone who got mad about having Puffington Host posts being time-dated for maximum effect. Whatever. Take yourselves a little more seriously.
Jeff G. writes:
… quite possible that the whole thing was tongue in cheek…
Wait! Which cheek? I mean, which kind of cheek, and which cheek? Which kind of cheek, and which cheek, and above all, whose cheek?
This has to be one of the most foul blog posts and comment threads I have ever read.
Holla.
So, like, what did you “open up to” here, Dan? You seem to sincerely think this is about you being open and honest, but I really don’t get it. There is no information in this post about you, other than that you had a relationship — one which we can assume didn’t end well — with this woman. Beyond that, it’s all meanness in her direction. WTF?
I’m all for soul-bearing, but seriously, this isn’t it. It’s sneering. You’re not telling your story here at all, just shit-talking your ex. No wonder your wife is worried. Baggage!
Right. Thanks for that, “outlandish.”
See, what she did was so unspeakable that nobody should ever speak of it. That way, nobody will get hurt. I’ve learned that. Please forgive me.
Comment by Jeff G. on 11/17 @ 9:05 am #
I’m not at all interested in Fred Thompson’s dick, for the record. I do notice, however, that lefties like Shalimar who have seized on my “cock slapping†response to Kevin K (which was context specific) tend to use it  and me  almost as a beard to talk about the dick.
Uh, Jeff, I didn’t make any comment about your penchant for “cock-slapping” in this thread, that was your buddy Dan googling an old joke I made on Balloon Juice months ago. Your clue should have been when Dan said “What would I find if I were to google Shalimar+Jeff Goldstein” right before he put my old quote in. You seem to be the one who talks about your dick constantly, hence the joke.
As for you Dan, my point was that when you said “I know her well enough to know that she will interpret this as the psychological hand up that I intend for it to be†it was bullshit, because you don’t know this woman at all anymore. People change dramatically in 20 years and it seems unlikely that you posted that as a “psychological hand up†to someone who has long since forgotten you. If you wanted to wish her well and be supportive you could have sent her a letter or email like a normal concerned person would instead of airing her dirty laundry on a political blog.
“People change dramatically in 20 years…”
Do any of you shitheads have any evidence of this? Because no adults I know changed that dramatically except for mental illness or maybe religious conversion. Certain views and tastes might change, but the essential personality is pretty much fixed by the mid 20s I would think.
99. “Celery lowers blood pressure. I read that once at Jamba Juice.”
Ah, crap! I mean…
Ah, crap!
“I always feel better after I condemn someone for blogging something I don’t get masturbate furiously.”
NEVER masturbate when you’re angry happyfeet. Tennis elbow.
One of the most foul blog posts and comments, EVAH ! Good Allah. It is time to start pulling out the penalty flags again. We have blatant examples of piling on, late hits, abject stupidity, etc …
And alpuccino brings the levity, every single time. Tennis elbow. Fear it. I managed to avoid it, and just get carpal tunnel syndrome.
Most foul. Famously foul. Foulness Fullest-Completest. Foul to the quarks. Twinkie filled with foul. Newfoundland foul. Bounced left of the third base line foul. Apishly foul.
This is my first and last visit to this trully fucked up site. Who is this Dan asshole and how small is his dick that he needs to feel better about it by trashing ex’s?
This bullshit about “for her benefit” is just that bullshit. Small dick and stupid too, this Dan sounds like he has a great future in the Republican party. Maybe that’s it, this is a rightwing hate site. That has to be it.
Henk
Go to the local library and pull a copy of Strunk & White’s off the shelf.
Project much?
Ha ha ha ha ha, excuse the hell out of me. Its come to my attention that you all are wing-nuts and this is a wing-nut site, please excuse my interupting and carry on with the “discussion.” But please let me express my gratitude to you for confirming what I had thought about the level of discourse on right-wing sites. Carry on.
Henk you gaylord. Why you gotta ask how small Dan’s wiener is? That’s what your KY Jelly is for. C’mon!
Henk – I thought you said you were leaving.
Complaining about the level of discourse while questioning the size of someone’s dick is rich. The irony is so thick I could not cut it with a Ginsu knife.
Now, be gone with you …
Thanks JD. I’d thougth that it must be difficult reading these idiotic comments, but you compenstate by checking grammer. Tough duty, aye?
Spelling too?
Comment by Henk on 11/18 @ 8:52 am #
This is my first and last visit to this trully fucked up site.
Comment by Henk on 11/18 @ 9:00 am #
liar.
Ooops, irony died 9/11/2001. Hadn’t you heard?
Comment by Henk on 11/18 @ 9:05 am #
big fat liar.
now al, maybe he just wants his visit to last as long as possible.
Comment by Henk on 11/18 @ 9:06 am #
This is the last time that I’m pointing out that that was not Henk’s first and last visit to this site.
alpuccino – He thought he would be able to sport wood with the first comment, which cut to the bone. But alas, he failed. He continues to vainly attempt an erection with each subsequent attempt, and the resulting depression makes each successive one less likely to help his achieve his goal.
He may get tennis elbow though.
“now al, maybe he just wants his visit to last as long as possible.”
Isn’t that what we all really want, maggie?
that’s what I hear.
Liar? I haven’t left yet so technically I am not a liar, but would it be that difficult to believe that someone would come to the comments section of an obscure website and lie?
Are you that simple? Are the commenters here that simple that they believe each and every word written here? I know you believe in the spoken word of Dear Leader George Bush, so maybe its not such a leap.
BDS on display, in all it’s glory.
Al, since you claimed you will no longer point out that Henk is a big fat liar, you are still allowed to point out that Henk is a big fat liar with a small dick.
So now that you’ve scared him off, JD, I guess we’re just left to speculate what makes a “first, second, third, and last visit to this site” type of person tick.
I imagine he also says things like, “This is my first and last chocolaty Tim Horton’s donut hole.”
alright! we got one that knows stuff. those are my fave!
alpuccino – Doesn’t really strike me as a Horton lover. More balloon-juicy, getting the brown nose from tongueing John Cole’s brown-eyed wink.
maggie – He was able to “know” that in just 3 posts. Incredible.
oh, going back to what we really want, since I’m a little slow yet….. what i really want right now is to know why RTO’s brother showed up at nine o’clock this morning. I was gonna sleep in. on the plus side, they’re going to fix the garage door.
Excuse me, but is there a news summary here? I’d like to read a summary of the news, please.
DAMMIT!!! The old “I never left so technically it’s still my first and last visit to this site” technicality. I never saw it coming, even when maggie saw it coming. Please disregard my crack about the TimBits, Henk. You are truly Einstein to my Bullwinkle. I imagine if you bookmark this site, you can then come back any time and when I call you liar again, you’ll cut me in half with “NUH UH!! I bookmarked this site so TECHNICALLY I never left. Booyah!!” And again I will be forced to bow to your genius.
Henk?
Oh Henk … where, oh where, did you go? The level of discourse around here has decreased dramtically since you left. Not one, since your hasty departure, has someone talked about your lack of length, and girth.
Has there ever been a star in the heavens that burned more brightly than Henk? Farewell great fireball. With time, we’ll begin to appreciate the light you gave. (this is my 9th and last comment about Henk)
Henk picks his nose and eats it.
SHIT!
Jd, when you called Dan’s critics “twatwaffles” were you referring to Jeff? Didn’t Jeff implicitly criticize Dan? JD, how do you handle the horror of calling Jeff names?
And, on Tbogg’s blog, didn’t Dan confess to being Thor?
Sockpuppetry! The greatest of ALL sins.
So many questions….
“And, on Tbogg’s blog, didn’t Dan confess to being Thor?”
Thor from all the thex?
I bet if that girl, Sahlu had gotten a little more of Dan’s protein wisdom, she’d be a better women for it today.
Pretty obvious she’s spent the rest of her life compensating for this early traumatic loss. And went from Dan to Tom in a big way.
Life isn’t fair, is it? There’s just not enough Dan to go around, and some of us get left broken and hurt in the dust.
Sad.
Here’s a radical suggestion, Dan:
If you had really wanted to have shown support for your ex, you could have…
1) Called her, expressed your support and let her unload a bit.
2) Sent her a card or a letter offering a “hand up” however she might need it.
3) Fired off a quick email, just to let her know you were wishing her well.
Instead you chose…
4) Publically distribute her professional and personal tribulations, reveal her private sexual practices and inclinations, insinuate that she has a drinking problem, and encourage your anonymous readership – especially those with an inclination for ‘stacked’ bisexuals -to contact her for a date.
Wow. Good judgement, dude. She must consider herself lucky to have you so clearly and unambiguously on her side.
I AM Dan Collins. Dan Collins is the tapeworm that lives inside each and every dopish moonbat. He sucks the intestines of his hosts. Dan forces ’em to type stupid, silly non-sense all night. Cut Dan Collins in the middle and Dan’s head grows a tail and Dan’s tail grows a head.
Parasitic bastard! Where is Collins?
Is this where we line up to express our disapproval? Actually, I won’t add to that pile as everything needed saying has been said.
TBogg’s site makes me laugh, as it is one of those unfortunate places where truth is not only not the objective to argument, but is in fact treated as an obstacle to be overcome by any means necessary. I once tried to use facts in a comment thread over there, and I’m fairly sure it gave the normal denizens a rash.
timb – I was calling you a twatwafffle, but I was trying to show restraint.
Whoever posted that link to tbogg should be flogged. I just read all 1000 plus, and now know what it feels like to think like timmah, as my IQ went down 50 points while reading.
timmy – Why have you quit sucking off Caric? He seems lonely.
Third time’s a charm. Thank you Dan for removing the link to her personal info.
There’s something about the open-ness of public records in regard to self-regulating professions in that they don’t discourage the public to know of their regulatory enforcement decisions as they pertain to past memebers. These enforcement bodies do, by all accounts, actually encourage the public to be on awares of those who have been disbarred from professional activities, hell, they’ll even make available the information as to why, when, and whatfore their decision was rendered.
Whether the gaping hole in your logic is as large as the more private gaping hole of this particular former doctor, I’m afraid you’ll simply have to ask Dan Collins. He’s in-the-know.
…meaning it wasn’t you who made a comment about my “penchant” for cockslapping?
I don’t care when you made the comment, Shalimar. The fact is, you made it. Referring to something I wrote, what, several years ago? I guess I just find it curious that you’d think I have any interest in Fred Thompson’s dick. Or how I regard the dick generally. Enough so that you’d speculate about it on another site.
Is all I’m saying.
But you keep believing it’s me who has some sort of unnatural “penchant” for the dick.
The enforcement bodies can do their job, the ‘public will do as it pleases. But I thought that Dan claimed to be her ex and her friend. I imagine the role of friend and ex-lover to be somewhat different than that of ‘enforcement bodies’ and ‘the public’.
I’m not sure how that’s a ‘gaping hole’ in my logic.
Swift Reactions 6
The pain of Dan Collins’ emasculation stings like it happened yesterday.
So, you’re saying Dan should withhold information about the sag of a publicly disbarred member of the medical community because it’s…. so different than divulging rack dimensions of non-medical others?
Women have tits. If Dan was the first ever to make side commentary on a particular set of knockers I might stand aghast with my jaw locked open. Alas, as it were, I say “so fuckin’ what!” Dan says the lady has/had meaty, beaty, big and bouncy ones. She’s twenty years removed from his life, besides, if Dan’s spatial observations are correct, everyone who knows her knows she got big cans. Get over your disingenuous etiquette. Dan’s a potty-mouthed whore. I’m a whore. We’re Savior-faire man-whores who talk glibly of titties. Suffer.
thor @ 189
Thanks for clarifying things, thor. I’m afraid I’ve got to head off. Good luck, Dan, with the whole cesspool thing.
No matter what the posters say, the trolls are kind of interchangeable, aren’t they?
Going back to comment, um, #1, I still think this plays better as a dissection of a mid-life, maybe not crisis, but how that’s supposed to sort of be the age when you know your judgment is pretty much as sound as it’s ever gonna get, and I think there is a big lesson here not to be complacent and self-satisfied about who you have become at that age. It’s more than just making a mental note not to think that when you get to around 40 that that means that just cause you are confident and secure in your sexuality that means it’s a good idea to have sex with crazy people. That like at that age you can kind of trust your own judgment about the potential consequences. This is definitely a lesson that can be more generally applied, and I’m very glad that I had this forewarning.
Collins, you’re scum. The kind of scum who won’t admit he’s scum even though it’s obvious to everyone.
I LIKE THAT!
I don’t care when you made the comment, Shalimar. The fact is, you made it. Referring to something I wrote, what, several years ago? I guess I just find it curious that you’d think I have any interest in Fred Thompson’s dick. Or how I regard the dick generally. Enough so that you’d speculate about it on another site.
Is all I’m saying.
But you keep believing it’s me who has some sort of unnatural “penchant†for the dick.
What can you say, if you didn’t talk about cock-slapping at the drop of a hat then no one would even know who you are. I made one joke about it 4 months ago to the effect that if you were allowed to ask one debate question that would be the subject matter. You’re a strange man if you figure from those two facts that I’m the one obssessed with the dick. Or just rock dumb, which is my personal theory.
I don’t know where you live Shalimar but here in California it’s a beautiful day for frisbee golf.
A big attaboy for hapyfeet, re #192; although I wonder, if you can’t tap a crazy chick at/past 40, when you’re set, when can you? Yeah, sure, in your 20’s, but what Collins forgot, or never knew, is rule #1:
No pictures, no video, don’t write anything down.
Again: no pictures, no video, don’t write anything down.
Now, back to the topic at hand, which is celery. What’s that? Celery is not thee topic? pfft I defy anyone to tell me celery is not thee topic:
http://www.creators.com/comics/andy-capp/11531.html
http://www.lileks.com/institute/frahm/art1.html
post #’s 97, 99, 143
In your face, Flanders. (btw, all Simpsons references are appreciated, even if I think you’re a dumbfuck.)
I just gotta say.
That’s yarn, andy. Bless your heart, but that’s yarn.
“That’s yarn, andy. Bless your heart, but that’s yarn.”
And LOLcats don’t really talk. I know. But you just have to suspend your disbelief for this thread/yarn this weekend. Its been epic.
LOLcats don’t really talk.
Is nothing sacred to you troofers?
So, people.Anything important going on today… HOLY CRAP!
This comment thread is sickening, because Dan and Jeff both don’t even see how they are trashing this woman. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Also, I find it highly amusing and revealing that Jeff is so fascinated by dick. Are you impressed by Fred Thompson and Rudy Giuliani’s codpiece? Fascinating how the most homophobic individuals end up being obsessed with other men’s genitalia.
Wait, now I’m trashing this woman, too?
Must be because she has the audacity not to have a dick. I do so love those things, what with their pretty pretty bonnets.
Unless the gays are using them to do unChristian things, of course. Then I’m all, like, fire and brimstone and such.
Go on. Quote me on that. Because it’s all very very true about the pretty pretty penises and the evil evil gays.
Seems Shalimar missed these from the other thread.
And don’t worry, Shalimar. I don’t really think you think I’m “rock dumb.” Because that we be hurtful, not to mention patently absurd.
Nor was my traffic any less before I invited Kevin K to take one on the chin if, for some reason I still can’t fully grasp, he actually did think me capable of squirting milk from my nipples.
Is “Jeff” one of those names like “Kim” or “Stacy” that can cause gender confusion?
And isn’t Shalimar a whale or something?
My morning, it is filled with questions!
Can someone please give a recap here for those of us who got here late? Thank you!
I say burn the witch! Wait…who’s the witch again? Let’s burn’em both and have a twofer.
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