Christopher Hayes at The Nation unveils The New Right-Wing Smear Machine. And about time, too, since the old one was held together with spit and baling wire, and was pretty grimy. It seems he’s incensed about the propagation of some false memes that continue to circulate long after they’ve been debunked.
This appears to be a right-wing phenomenon, although I seem to remember . . .
I just love that new smear machine smell. Don’t you? Real pleather.
‘The Blatant Beast,’ quoth he, ‘I doe pursew,
and through the world incessantly doe chase,
Till I him overtake, or else subdew:
Yet know I not or how or in what place
To find him out, yet still I forward trace.’
‘What is that Blattant Beast?’ then he replide,
‘It is a monster bred of hellish race,’
Then answered he, ‘which often hath annoyd
Good knights and ladies true, and many else destroyd.
‘Of Cerberus whilome he was begot,
And fell Chimera in her darkesome den,
Through fowle commixture of his filthy blot;
Where he was fostred long in Stygian fen,
Till he to perfect ripeness grew, and then
Into this wicked world he forth was sent,
To be the plague and scourge of wretched men:
Whom with vile tongue and venemous intent
He sore doth wound, and bite, and cruelly torment.’
–Edmund Spenser, THE FAIRIE QUEENE, Book VI, Canto I, VII-VIII
Dual-processor smear machine, running new OSX Leopard. Smokin’.
I have one that flings chocolate icing (made with melted bittersweet chocolate, imported italian high-fat butter from the Parmigiano-reggiano region) all over my opponents. It’s old, a Kitchenaid.
Has anyone tried that new Cuisinart with the folding function?
We’re using new composite materials now… the roadmap states that the next model will be made of Gundanium, though how we’re supposed to manufacture anything in space yet is a mystery.
The Dark Lord will be pleased that the enemy trembles at the new contraps!
The difference between his opening gambit and reality is, if it had been Fred Thompson who had allegedly snubbed some Gold Star Mothers, it would have been spilling from the mouth of Katie that evening and Matt Lauer the next morning. Then, when the Gold Star Mothers publicly debunked it, they would have been attacked.
Pathetic myopia.
Jeez. Even the people who forward those emails don’t pay any attention to them. I think mostly they think, “Dammit, another email chain letter. Well, I don’t want this guy/gal to forget to invite me to their next party, so…”
Ah, yes, the Dark Lord’s machinations are subtle, yet spammy.
His creamy cocoaness mutates and grows in power out of the spotlight and his minions are only partially aware of his plots.
I predict that the next Re’thuglican E-Mail Smear (pronounced with an sh sound) will question Obama’s authentic blackness, claiming that he secretly windsurfs and owns a stable of polo ponies.
All of you! PROSTRATE YOURSELF BEFORE THE DARK LORD ROVE! BWAAA HAHAHAHA
Annuities to parents of dead soldiers is creepily like the money families of suicide bombers get if you ask me. I agree with a package that helps ensure the family is not burdened by their loss, but the idea of setting them up leaves a bad taste.
Come to think of it, I rather suspect these email memes — meme-mails? — are a big contributor to the disturbingly large percentage of people who think 9/11 was an “inside job.”
I used to get a diverse stream of meme-mails from various people, and I just kept responding with links to this or that debunking, usually at Snopes. The first one was free, the second carried an implied message of, “Uh, hey. You remember that other thing you forwarded that I set you straight on?” The third time the rebuke was a bit more explicit.
I don’t get those meme-mails anymore. And the people who used to send them to me keep forgetting to invite me to their parties. So, like, win-win.
I got a whole powerpoint once on how Diet Coke is poison. I didn’t reply, I called. You realize this is stupid is how I think the conversation started.
Those meme e-mail I toss out have party invitations in them?
Diet Coke is POISONED, and needs a lot of get-well letters. And some help kiting checks.
I always wish Diet Coke well. Coke had the contract for my high school vending machines and I will be forever loyal unless they sort of rub me the wrong way or something. Anyone remember that online Diet Coke campaign with the lawyers where the Diet Coke marketing guys wanted to sue the Coke people for trademark infringement? Brilliant. That went viral too.
Wasn’t that Coke Zero?
oh – I think you’re right.
That blak stuff is/was godawful by the way.
Hater.
OK. I went to the link and read the story in its entirety.
So, let me see if I understand this fellows premise correctly. Human beings innate inclination to indulge in gossip has now got an official label: Right-Wing Smear Machine!!
Because the age-old art of gossip is now practiced through email, rather than in phone conversations or over a few beers or down at the coffee shop, its not just gossip but rather its a coordinated smear. RRRRIIIIIGGGHHHHHTTTT!
There’s only two reasons to drink Diet Coke: 1) You’re fat. and 2) You’re exceptionally dehydrated.
On several occasions I have met both of those conditions and usually opted for something else.
Does the Right Wing Smear Machine resemble the Right Wing Noise Machine?
‘Cause that was one purdy Machine.
There’s also 3.) you are simple and respond well to marketing messages which position the Diet Coke brand as an extension of your idealized self image.
I go through cases of the stuff.
So, does the Nation have any evidence these anecdotes indicate that this ‘machine’ has any operational ties to actual republicans? Or is this just, you know, the gullibility of media types in foisting an inaccurate and unnuanced understanding of how memes are propagated.
“Which prompts the obvious question: if a handful of millionaires and disgruntled Swift Boat Veterans were able to sabotage Kerry’s campaign in 2004, what kind of havoc could be wreaked in 2008 by a few political operatives armed with little more than Outlook and a talent for gossip?”
I have it on good authority that every one of the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth is fully gruntled. I think they’re just upset that Kerry is such a doosh. Kerry is still alive, right?
4.) Your mouth is broken and you can’t tell that it tastes like caramel turpenoid.
Practice mental prophylaxis: Keep the crap out of your brain.
I’ve actually sort of moved away from the Diet Coke cause Java Monster helps me unleash the beast more better.
Java Sutra, a horror movie starring mild-mannered happyfeet as Jekyll and Hyde.
I’ve read the Obama paragraph three times, and I don’t see the typo he’s talking about. What am I missing?
What we’ve kept under wraps so far is that it’s a horror movie/musical. Think Little Shop of Horrors meets Saturday Night Fever in Bangalore. Think tentpole.
It’s “Osama” for “Obama.”
Have you seen those new spigots for the home kitchen, that dispense carbonated water?
Bubble coffee, mmmm.
you say osama … and I say obama … osama, obama, osama, obama! Let’s call the whole thing off!
Think tentpole
is it okay if I think of England?
Running it through the coffee machine I think would kill the bubbles. Will experiment and report back.
Tagline: You can’t blame THIS on the nights on Broadway.
Yeesh, Sarah!
I just had a flash concept of happyfeet as Hyde outside the Taj Mahal doing a song and dance version of “Rule Britannia!”
Yes, my family is very worried about my flashes.
As for the tentpole that’s fine as long as it’s not a maypole because, well, EEEEUUUUUWWWWW!
I’m in complete agreement with our good buddy at The Nation. In fact, I’m pretty sure hyperlinks are a right-wing conspiracy, too.
Have our swift boats sunk? When telling the truth about someone is a smear, isn’t that a clue that they might not be the kind of people with whom you want to associate?
Or am I too particular?
As some fat comedian said, “I drink Diet Coke so I can eat the whole cake.”
I hope our new Smear Machine has OnStar, heated seats, a full bar & bullshit seaking missles.
Hater.
;^)
Crap. My #38 was for MarkD.
#20 ThomasD
So, does the Nation have any evidence these anecdotes indicate that this ‘machine’ has any operational ties to actual republicans? Or is this just, you know, the gullibility of media types in foisting an inaccurate and unnuanced understanding of how memes are propagated.
The Nation has no evidence, knows there IS no evidence, knows exactly how internet memes are propagated, yet publishes anyway because that’s what they do. All’s fair in love and class warfare.
“Seaking?” Sorry.
…I also hope our new Smear Machine has ‘spell check.’
Someone isn’t on the John Kerry, MoveOn.org or ACLU mailing lists. There’s some seriously crazy bullshit being pumped out of those orifices.
Who really cares about this numbnuts?
I do have to admit though, that when Carl what’s-his-name used to call into Bob Grant’s program (Carl from Oyster Bay), he was always very interesting.
Unfortunately, NewsMax IS a rumor and innuendo dump. I used to have it in my “favorites”, but now I would rather read “DailyKos”, because the information there is just about as useful as NewsMax’s.
Also, NewsMax somehow got my e-mail address, and I get about ten BS e-mails a day from those idiots. “Buy this!” “But that!” Fuck off, Carl.
Sorry, but I think I would be better off without idiots like NewsMax speaking for me. The site has become trash, and I could do without the net’s equivalent of “The Star” speaking on my behalf.
Sticky Bon =
“There’s only two reasons to drink Diet Coke: 1) You’re fat. and 2) You’re exceptionally dehydrated.”
You missed the third reason. My wife drinks a 12 pack every friggin’ day because she is mentally ill.
It could be that she’s mentally ill in part because of all those phenylketoneurics, or whatever they call them.
#42 Lost Dog,
You took one of their advertisement/polls, maybe? That’s the way they got my address.
Why was molten steel found in the debris at Coke Zero? Who ordered the controlled demolition of Coke 7?
Booooooooosh!
Just ignore #42 ‘s comments about NewsMax.
42’s a convicted child molester! He beats his wife and puppies with clubs made from the bones of kids who didn’t qualify for Schip. You never served in Vietnam. Why do you want kids to go to bed hungry? You suck! Got that. You will be destroyed!
Spiny,
Amen brother.
What I was obliquely reaching for was the ‘Saddam had no operational ties to AQ’ being morphed by those sticklers-for-truth-and-accuracy into ‘Saddam had no ties to AQ.’
Cause you know how confused the American public has been on this one, regardless of how many times the MSM has tried to debunk their notions that Saddam was in bed with the terrorists.
You don’t know the half of it. And who was behind it all? Rumsfeld.
Damnable neocons!
That’s why you have to read the dang things before you forward them!
Oh, see, they got this email, and…
Rummy and Coke! I knew it!
The Drink of Death!
So, the right wing smear machine is spam email. This tops the list. I guess our simple brains cannot determine what is right and wrong. Maybe McCain and Feingold will pass a law banning spam 60 days out from a national election. Admittedly there is some wacky stuff in these email but it is SPAM!!! At least it is not published tripe like Naomi Klein’s new book. Talk about gullibility and wacky conspiracy theories. sheesh.
If they are really pushing the idea that spam is some Republican conspiracy than they have run headfirst into the lands that the twoothers inhabit.
I am awash in the irony of describing meme distribution using the meme of having an opinion of Kerry’s wartime service based on serving in the same unit with him is a “smear”.
Whatthehell kinda font is used on that aspartame poisoning site that Pablo linked to? Does it foil the NSA spiders or something? I just assume that Rumsfeld is mentioned, because my eyes couldn’t take it. I did see the terms “chemical warfare,” “GD Searle,” “Pentagon,” and……”Kidder, Peabody?”
And couldn’t they find a less-dorky picture of that guy?
RiverC wrote:
According to the memos, you’re going to be operating one of the GM-type Right-Wing Smear Machines. Tough break, dude…
Believe it or not, that site looks great compared to the bleeding eyeball inducing mess it used to be.
Ah-ha! I see you have a machine that goes “ping”.
I just skipped to the end, where I saw “Nobody Responded To This Post” in large letters.
“Wonder why…?” I asked myself.
So sick of hearing the Swift Boat vets get disparaged by “creepy liars” like this douchebag Hayes. Guess like most other leftards he enjoys being plugged in to the matrix.
BTW, aspartame can ruin your life – turns to formaldahyde inside your head over time.
Don’t you wingnut paste-eaters know that a new smear machine depreciates by 20% the instant you drive it off the lot?
Did I miss all of the Family Frost Shmear spam? All I got was Bush doesn’t care about children and no explanation as to why $60,000 per year constitutes “The Working Poor©.”
My smear machine better be powered by a V-10 supercharged turbo diesel, and have an unfiltered coal burner in the bed.
This Hayes guy must be the only person I have ever heard of that actually reads all of that spam. No wonder he is a brainless fool.
Hold on just a a dawgone minute here.
Are you telling me all those Nigerian e-mailers I’ve been corresponding with are Democratic operatives?
JD: Coal burner? Puh-leeze! NUCLEAR POWERED, BAY-BEE!
For a guaranteed 42% better shmear factor, with extra sliminess and higher potential for the cover of People magazine.
Plus we bury the spent fuel rods right under Cindy Sheehan’s Absolute Moral Authority™.
#66 JD
V-10 supercharged turbo diesel?
It probably needs a trailer for the unfiltered coal burner.
I think that the supercharged V-10 turbo diesel is only available with a long bed, so I should have room for the unfiltered coal burner, to do my part for global warming or cooling, and the nukes to ensure Mother Gaia get that third eye and 12th finger.
Little does Hitchen’s know, even the smoke from our Right Wing BBQ Grills has a meaning, if you can read smoke signals.
Spiny – You are absolutely correct. That oversight can be easily accommodated.
I broke down and read that drivel. Good Allah, what in the hell is wrong with these people? It is clearly something beyond the scope of pharmaceuticals. Frontal lobotomies with rusty chainsaws perhaps?
BTW, aspartame can ruin your life – turns to formaldahyde inside your head over time.
Another reason to drink beer!