“Pregnant mother Kim Hasler spoke of her horror yesterday after she bit into a McDonalds takeaway and crunched on a human tooth. Kim said she was nearly sick when she found the object which has now been sent away for analysis in a laboratory.” “I went to bite into it and I heard a kind of crunch,” she said. “There was this hard object in my burger. I took it

“A West Virginia man who fell down an escalator at an airport sued US Airways, alleging the airline didn’t warn him about the adverse affects of drinking alcohol on a plane.” Floyd W. Shuler, 61, filed the lawsuit against Virginia-based US Airways Inc., in circuit court in Fort Myers. Shuler, who has lived part-time on Marco Island, said in the suit that US Airways was negligent by failing to warn

Reason‘s Tim Cavanaugh thinks the Bushies should lay off of Richard Clarke and turn their attention instead to John Kerry: Weren’t you paying attention when all those former Clinton administration people (I’m not sure anymore, but it seems like it was all of them) did the exact same thing to their former boss? The tearing down of reputations is a business best left to us, the smallfries. I’ve never known

If you haven’t already done so, scroll down to the bottom of the page for today’s Chris Muir comic. Dead-bang on, if you ask me. Political theater of the absurd captured perfectly. Kudos, Chris. Next up: Condi Rice arriving on the Hill in slippers and a bathrobe, listening to Sean Mullins MP3s on her iPod. And why shouldn’t she? Everyone knows Teddy Kennedy gets to legislate without pants… Well he

It’s one thing to come back. It’s quite another to come back and plant in my skull images of Madeleine Albright slowdancing with a husky North Korean dwarf. Because as you well know, my head is a confused place — and now, thanks to you, it’s playing a continuous loop of a naked Albright dancing with Seabiscuit to the Allman Brothers’ “Sweet Melissa.” On one of those “Survivor” islands. Which,

Santa Monica has banned smoking on public beaches — presumably because the risk of developing cancer from second-hand beachsmoke is of enormous concern to oil-slathered sun worshippers browning themselves on teflon mats like lumpy West Coast taco meat. “”It’s about health,’ said Mayor Pro Tem Kevin McKeown. “It’s time to clear the smoke.’ Los Angeles City Councilman Jack Weiss said at the [March 24 City Council] meeting that a committee

Advantage Fat Guy.

For some finger-wagging partisan scolds, Rice’s public testimony is an opportunity for the Truth to Set Us Free!™ (allpowertothepeopleamen). But of course, this is nonsense, as Rice had already testified before the commission privately (and Richard Clarke, the catalyst for this latest dog-and-pony show, himself refused to testify publically in 1999, on the same principle of executive privilege the White House has been citing) — meaning all that’s really happening

A simple exercise in democracy, those Spanish elections, right? No more no less? Yeah. Whatever. Again.

Dude, you got so totally scammed. When I bought my demonic bathwater off this bass player I know, I shelled out maybe 15 bucks and half a warm Heineken. And mine has, like, a Beelzebubbian pubic hair still floating around in it. Which is really worth something, I’m pretty sure, because B’s like, a serious demon in the pantheon of evil. In case you’re wondering, I use the stuff to