Johnny bin Walker, the American Taliban-cum-Al Qaeda gunman, won’t be charged with treason by the U.S. government, Attorney General John Ashrcroft revealed moments ago. Even though Walker admits he knew of the 9/11 terror attacks against the U.S, and even though he nevertheless pledged his services to Usama bin Laden’s Al Qaeda network (he even volunteered for advanced training), none of the charges leveled against Walker carry the death penalty. Officially, Walker is charged with aiding the enemy and conspiracy to kill American nationals (among other charges), for which he’ll be tried in civilian court; if convicted, he could receive life in prison.

Now the good news…Walker’s lanky frame, pouty lips, and ability to yelp and moan in a number of Arab and central Asian dialects, will doubtless make him very popular in prison as the prized Tali-bitch of any number of meaty cellblock lifers…

[Update: for those of you linking here from Heretical Ideas, Boja’s written a rejoinder to Alex Knapp’s thoughtful entry]

[Update, the 2nd: Glenn Reynolds chimes in (however obliquely), so Boja’s written him an email, the text of which is posted here.]

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